Sunday, I was numb.

Monday, it all started to hit me.  I couldn't wrap my head around it all.  I came close to tears several times.  It was all I could think of, when I wasn't concentrating on something else. I had two cards to mail, and I thought a walk would do me good, so I walked over to the Post Office, but on the way home, despite walking and listening to music through my earbuds, I almost started to cry again.

I needed some unconditional love, support and joy.  And where could I get it?  Well the ParisPeking household has two dogs and three kids under 12 years old.  That sounded just like what the doctor ordered.

So I contacted Mrs. ParisPeking, she said they were going to be home, so over I went.  One dog sat on my lap and I could pet her.  The other dog, the younger, goofy one, wanted to play a lot (until she got tired and laid down and slept).  The girls were chatty like they always are, but it was okay. I like chatting with them and hearing their stories.   And they have some video game where a song plays and characters on the screen dance and the girls, holding controllers, have to copy the dance moves as  a game.  I even got into it once, when it was a late 70's disco song (which I now forget).

I was there about an hour.  It was indeed just what I needed.  As I left, I got a hug and kiss from the old dog, and the young dog, and I got a group hug from the three girls (and somehow, the young dog insinuated herself into it as well, but that was okay too).

I came home, feeling better.  I wrote the post below and put it up here.  I danced for a short time, nearly crying as well.

Tuesday, while I work I STILL had a hard time concentrating on work.  I almost broke down and cried a few times again.  I dont know when I'll get over this.   Ya know, its funny, nothing has changed in my life.  Everything about my life is exactly the same as it was last Tuesday night.  I dont know anyone killed or injured at Pulse.  I wasnt hurt or injured myself.  So I say nothing has changed.

But everything has changed.  Everything....

POLT