Grabs by soul, shakes my body like a Super Bowl (2022 edition)...

 Super Bowl LVII (aka 57) takes place this coming Sunday, one week from today.   And that's means it's time for my scientific analysis and prediction of who will win: The Kansas City Chiefs or The Philadelphia Eagles. 

1. The Cities

Chiefs: Kansas City

A population of a 2.3 and some million (in the metro area).  It's got one other professional sports team, the Royals of baseball.  There's really not a whole more else to report about Kansas City (although it was nice to find a pic of their Union Station all lit up in purple).

Eagles: Philadelphia

A population of 6.2 million people in the metro area, making it the 6th largest city in the USA.  In addition to football, it's got a professional baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer and even lacrosse team.  It's got Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Rocky Statue, among many other tourist attractions. 

Winner: Eagles

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2. Distance From Super Bowl

(the theory being, the closer team will have more fans there, making it more of a home field advantage than the other team)

The Super Bowl is in Phoenix Arizona this year (Glendale AZ technically, but we'll go with the place the local team is from)

Chiefs: 1220 miles away

Philadelphia: 2358 miles away

Winner: Chiefs

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3. Team Mascot/Logo

Chiefs: 

Eagles: 

Chiefs are strong, Native American warriors.  Eagles are strong, large birds of prey.  I think Native American Warriors can take a bird, even if it's a large bird of prey.   And the logos are both kinda cool, so that doesn't help.   So I guess the winner is....

Winner: Chiefs

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4. Coaches

Chiefs: Andy Reid

Andy Reid is 64 years old.  He's been a coach, at all levels, since 1982 (40 years).  He's been the Chief's head coach for 9 years.  And in fact, he was the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles for 13 years.  This will be Andy's 4th Super Bowl, his record in the previous three are 1-2, one win with the Chiefs, and a loss with both the Eagles and the Chiefs. 

Eagles: Nick Sirianni

Nick Sirianni is 41 years old (Andy Reid's been a coach as long as he's been alive!).  He's been a coach, at all levels, since 2004 (18 years). He's been the Eagles head coach since 2021, just 2 years.  He has never been to a Super Bowl before.

Due to age, coaching experience, Super Bowl experience, and just sheer football experience, the winner has got to be...

Winner: Chiefs (Andy Reid)

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5. 2022 Season record

(including playoffs)

Chiefs: 16-3 

Eagles: 16-3

Winner: Tie

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6. Quarterback Experience

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes, 27 years old.

He has been quarterback of the Chiefs since 2017.   In that time, he has a regular season record of 64-16 (80% win rate), a postseason record of 10-3 (77% win rate), taken his team to the AFC Championship game 5 out of the 6 season he's played, and this will be his third Super Bowl.  He's won a Super Bowl and been a Super Bowl MVP.

Eagles: Jalen Hurts, 24 years old

He has been quarterback of the Eagles since 2020.   IN that time, he as a regular season record of 23-11 (68% win rate) and a postseason record of 2-1 (67% win rate, this was the first time he's played in the NFC Championship game, and this will be his first Super Bowl.  

Winner: Clearly Chiefs

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7.  Quarterback Face Cuteness

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes

 

Eagles: Jalen Hurts

Honestly, I'm gonna have to call this one a tie

(on a different note, I wonder if there's been a Super Bowl before where both quarterbacks were men of color?)

Winner: Tie

(follow up, I just looked it up and this will be the first time both starting quarterbacks are men of color.  Whaddya know?)

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8. Quarterback Body Hotness

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes

Eagles: Jalen Hurts

Hmmm, well I'd not throw either of them outta bed (except to fuck them on the floor), but I think I'm gonna give this one to Hurts.  He's just a bit more defined.

(now I may need a minute to think about having these men in bed....at the same time......)

Winner: Eagles

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9. Team's Other Star Player

Chiefs: Travis Kelce

Travis is a Tight End (oh I just BET he is), he's 33 years old, he's played for the Chiefs since 2013 and in that time, he's been in 17 playoff games. 

Eagles: Jason Kelce

He's the team center, he's 35 years old, he's played for the Eagles since 2011 and in that time, he's been to the playoffs six seasons and won one Super Bowl.

Yes, they're brothers and, I just confirmed, this will be the first time brothers have played each other in the Super Bowl.

Winner: (since I prefer a nice bubble butt to a hairy bear) Travis and the Chiefs

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10. Team's Super Bowl Experience.

Chiefs: 

This will be the Chiefs' 5th Super Bowl, current record: 2-2 (50%)

Eagles: 

This will be Eagles' 4th Super Bowl, current record is 1-2 (33%)

Neither record is quite stellar, but clearly, 50% is better than 33%, so...

Winner: Chiefs

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So this completely scientific and totally unbiased study, results in the following: 

Chiefs - 6 wins, Eagles - 2 wins, ties - 2

Thus, at the end of this year's Super Bowl, the Kansas City Chiefs taking home the trophy again.

POLT

PS

Just in case you're wondering what my track record on these "scientific" predictions:

Season     My Pick           Winner

2021        Rams                Rams

2020        Chiefs               Bucs

2019        Chiefs               Chiefs

2018        Rams                Patriots  

2017        neither              Eagles

2016        Patriots             Patriots

2015        Panthers           Broncos    

2014        Seahawks         Patriots    

2013        Seahawks         Seahawks

2012        Ravens             Ravens

2011        Patriots             Giants

2010        Packers             Packers

2009        Saints               Saints

2008        Cardinals          Steelers

2007        Patriots             Giants

2006        Colts                 Colts

2005        Seahawks         Steelers

Predicted correctly: 8; Predicted incorrectly: 8; and 1 I didn't predict at all.  This time will be the tie breaker!

Grabs my soul, shaking my body like a super bowl (2020 season edition).....

 Super Bowl LV (55 for you none Roman Numeral readers) is tomorrow.  And its time for my annual scientific reasoning of who's going to win this year. 

1) Cities

Chiefs: Kansas City, Missouri

A population of 2.1 million, with an occasional earthquake, 4 seasons (snow in winter, heat in summer), and that's all I know.

Bucs: Tampa, Florida

A population of 3 million, frequent hurricanes, summer year round (with horrid heat in the summer), and that's all I know about it. 

Tampa would win if just did population but rare earthquakes beat out annual hurricanes and a cool snowy winter beats heat and humidity anytime. 

Winner: Chiefs

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2) Distance From Home City To Site Of Super Bowl

It's being playing IN Tampa, so they obviously win this one.

Winner: Tampa

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3) Team Mascot/Logo

Chiefs: 

A brave,honorable, Native American warrior.

Bucs:

Dastardly, stealing, thieving pirates with a skull and crossed swords on the flag.

Winner: Chiefs

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4) Coaches

Chiefs: Andy Reid

62 years old. Has been an NFL head football coach for 21 years (13 years with the Eagles, 8 years with the Chiefs), this is his third Super Bowl.  

Bucs: Bruce Arians

68 years old.  Has been an NFL head football coach for 6 years (4 with the Arizona Cardinals, 2 with the Bucs). This is his first Super Bowl.

Winner: Chiefs (due to coach's experience)

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5) 2020 Season Record

Chiefs: 14-2

Bucs: 11-5

Winner: Chiefs

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6) Quarterback Experience

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes won the Super Bowl last year

Bucs: Tom Brady has won everything at one time or another

Winner: Bucs

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7) Quarterback Face Cuteness

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes

 Bucs: Tom Brady

Winner: Chiefs, no doubt!

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8) Quarterback Body Hotness

Chiefs: Mahomes and his 25 year old beach bod.

Bucs: 43 year old Tom Brady middle-aged not-too-bad-for-his-age body.

Hmmm, 25 year old bodies beat 43 year old bodies almost every time...certainly here.

Winner: Chiefs

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9) Other Star Player

Chiefs: Tyreek Hill, wide reciever

Bucs: Lavonte David, linebacker

Winner: I don't know, man, I'm gonna have to call this one a tie.

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10) Team's Super Bowl Experience

Chiefs: This is the Chiefs 4th appearance.  Team record is 2 wins 1 loss

Bucs: This is the Bucs 2nd appearance.  Team record is 1 win, zero losses.

The Chiefs have won double Super Bowls than the Bucs.  

The Chiefs have double the Super Bowl appearances.

The Bucs have less losses than the Chiefs.

Winner: Chiefs.

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SO, by means of this very scientific reasoning of the matchup, the result is

Chiefs 7, Bucs 2, 1 tie.

Therefore, the Chiefs are going to be the first back to back Super Bowl winner since the Patriots 17 years ago or so.

POLT

PS

Just so I've got all my prior guesses in one place here we go:

Season     My Pick           Winner

2019        Chiefs               Chiefs

2018        Rams                Patriots  

2017        neither              Eagles

2016        Patriots             Patriots

2015        Panthers           Broncos    

2014        Seahawks         Patriots    

2013        Seahawks         Seahawks

2012        Ravens             Ravens

2011        Patriots             Giants

2010        Packers             Packers

2009        Saints               Saints

2008        Cardinals          Steelers

2007        Patriots             Giants

2006        Colts                 Colts

2005        Seahawks         Steelers

So my record is 7 picked correctly, 7 picked incorrectly, and one I didn't pick at all.

So it's Biden - Harris.

Let me just say this about that: It's who I wanted him to pick, so naturally, I'm quite happy about it.

And not that this really means anything, but, back in 2016, January to be precise, I predicted Hillary would be the nominee and wanted her choice of VP would be...Julian Castro.  Instead she chose Tim Kaine.  And we all know how that worked out.

In 2008, I wanted Obama to choose Biden as his VP.  And he did.  And we all know how that worked out.

In 2004 (before I had a blog, so I can't show a link to it), I wanted Kerry to choose as his VP, Wesley Clark, a retired general from Arkansas who had been a former Supreme Allied Commander in Europe.  I thought his foreign policy experience would be beneficial AND both men on the ticket would be veterans, whereas neither Bushie nor Darth Cheney were.  But Kerry chose John Edwards.  And we know how that worked out.

In 2000, I never liked Al Gore...ever.  But since he was the Democratic nominee, I wanted him to choose Bill Bradley, who ran in a few primaries against him, but dropped out after not winning any.   Senator Bradley was more liberal that Gore, and that's why he appealed to me.  But, Gore chose Joe Lieberman.  And we know how that worked out.

I don't remember back in 1992 who I wanted Clinton to pick.  I wanted NY Gov. Mario Cuomo to run for President, but he didn't.  And I knew Cuomo would never play second fiddle to anyone.  But I honestly don't think I had a preference for Clinton's VP.

At any rate, let's review:

2000: Wanted Gore - Bradley, got Gore - Lieberman.  Loss
2004: Wanted Kerry - Clark, got Kerry - Edwards.  Loss
2008: Wanted Obama - Biden, got Obama - Biden.  Win
2016: Wanted Clinton - Castro, got Clinton - Kaine.  Loss
2020: Wanted Biden - Harris, got Biden - Harris.  Outcome unknown.

I'm not saying the past is predictive of the future, but I'm just hoping my streak, such as it is, continues this year!

POLT

The veeps in charge are now at large....

Twelve years ago, at the end of July 2008, Uncle Polt took a look at the candidates for Obama's VP choice.  You can read it HERE if you are so inclined.  At any rate, back then, my preference was for Biden as VP, which is who Obama chose.  Not let's see who we've got as possible Biden picks.

Biden has already pledged to chose a female VP, as well he should.  I also think he will choose a woman of color, but I have nothing but my gut to base that suggestion on.  

I have heard several women's names bandied about as being on his list.  Let's take a quick look at them, in alphabetical order.

Stacey Abrams 

WHO: Former Minority Leader of the Georgia House Of Representatives, Candidate for governor of Georgia, 2018
PROS: Georgia's generally considers a swing state, she may have become governor if not for electoral shenanigans by her opponent, who was then Secretary of State of GA, generally considered to be very intelligent and charismatic
CONS: No national experience

Rep Karen Bass 

WHO: US House member from California
PROS & CONS: I'm sorry, I honestly had never heard of this woman before I saw her name on some lists.  Apparently she's a great fundraiser and speaker, but really, California is safely in Biden column, she's never held any state wide office and she has NO name recognition.  There must be something more to her, because I have no idea why she's even on the list.

Mayor Keitsha Lance Bottoms

WHO: Mayor of Atlanta
PROS: She's from a possible swing state, Georgia, she's gotten headlines recently for taking on GA's asshole governor Kemp over facemasks during a pandemic, has a great backstory (rising from poverty), she has Judicial, Legislative and Executive experience
CONS: Her experience is all municipal, within the city of Atlanta.  She hasn't even any statewide experience.  Honestly, I think the only reason she's even mentioned is because of her battles with Kemp.  But at 50, as long as she keeps doing things right, she may have a future in state and national politics.  2020 just seems too early.

Rep Val Demmings

WHO: US House member from Florida
PROS: Was chief of police in Orlando at one point, 40% drop in violent crime under her watch and she could be a front person for police reform, great back story, Florida is THE swing state
CONS: Only been in Congress since 2017, lack of name notoriety, there will be issues with police conduct while she was the Chief.

Sen Tammy Duckworth 

WHO: Senator from Illinois
PROS: Veteran, injured in battle, lost both her legs, was a Lt. Colonel, has no problem taking down her opponents verbally, would fulfill the "attack dog" role of VP candidate prefectly
CONS: She Asian-American not Black (not really a negative, but still) , Illinois is totally in the bag for Biden

Gov Michelle Lujan Grisham

WHO: Governor of New Mexico
PROS: Healthcare has been her signature issue since before she entered politics, as a Latina from the Southwest, she may help in Arizona and Texas,
CONS: New Mexico is small and in the Biden column already, no name recognition, not Black (again, not really a negative, but still...)

Sen Kamala Harris

WHO: Senator from California
PROS: Already campaigned for President, so used to the spotlight, hassle, and schedule, goes after he opponents with the zeal of a prosecutor going after a defendent, been in the public sector for 30 years and elective office for 18
CONS: California is gonna go for Biden by 25 points at least, not "progressive" enough for Bernie Bros and their ilk, had some issues as District Attorney in San Francisco and  Attorney General of California that may be problematic (prosecutions against people of color and the like)

Sen Maggie Hassan

WHO: Senator from New Hampshire
PROS: New Hampshire is possibly a swing state, she has executive experience as she was previously governor of New Hampshire
CONS: New Hampshire is small state, New Hampshire has a Republican governor so he'd presumably fill her seat with a Republican, upsetting the Dems numbers in the Senate, she's white

Gov Gina Raimondo 

WHO: Governor of Rhode Island
PROS & CONS: Rhode Island is small, it is a thoroughly blue state, and she is white. I have no idea why her name is mentioned at all

Former NSA Susan Rice

WHO: National Security Advisor and Ambassador to the UN under Obama
PROS: Foreign policy credential are unequaled, very intelligent
CONS: Doesn't seem to want the job, was somehow involved in the Benghazi issue and that would allow the Wingnuts to bring all that up again and harp on it non-stop for the remainder of the campaign, she is from DC, which is gonna go for Biden by 95 percent at least.

Sen Elizabeth Warren

WHO: Senator from Massachusetts
PROS: Would be great in a role of 'attack dog", probably the only person on the list who would satisfy the Bernie Bro constigent
CONS: She's white, at 71, she's really too old to be running with a candidate also in his 70s, Massachusetts is in the bag for Biden

Gov Gretchen Whitmer 

WHO: Governor of Michgian
PROS: From a big, swing-y state, gets under tRump (impeached)'s skin, stood her ground against the weaponzied wingnuts who besieged the capitol in Lansing, has state legislative experience since 2000
CONS: Only been governor since Jan 2019, really not on anyone's radar until the dustup with tRump (impeached), at 48, has a bright future ahead of her, but probably not in 2020.

So my take: there are only four names on here that standout to me for a variety of reasons:

Stacey Abrams
Tammy Duckworth
Kamala Harris
Susan Rice

Out of these, I think Biden's gonna pick Harris.  She'll piss off the Bernie Bros and 'purists' in the party, but dammit, I don't want him to base his decision on their wants (since they fucked us over in 2016 because of not voting for Hillary).  And really, they SHOULD be voting against tRump (impeached) not FOR Biden's VP.  Also, Harris seems to have the national experience, notoriety, and capabilities to do the job.  (If I didn't think Biden will pick a Black woman, I probably would have gone with Duckworth...she would have been the ONLY person on either ticket to have serve in the Armed Forces, which might help with the military vote)
  
I can't state any other reasons, other than my gut tells me this is his best pick.

So we should see by the end of this week if I'm correct or not.

POLT

So, in the Biden Veepstakes, I was pulling for Amy Klobucar.  She was moderate, calm, from the Midwest, and was my second choice for President last year (after Mayor Pete).

However, it's recently come to light that in a previous job a few years ago (I don't what job, perhaps District Attorney?), she was in a position to charge the cop who killed George Lloyd when there was another incident he was involved in.  And she declined to do so.

So her shot at VP is gone.  Or at least should be.  She should be scratched right off Biden's list.  I mean, it's a shame because I think she would have made the perfect candidate to run with Biden, but...well...     Picking her now would certainly turn off and/or alienate Biden's main base of supporters: African Americans.

So, I look to other choices.  Elizabeth Warren, I'm sorry, is too old. I don't want a person in their 70s running for president, but if that's they way it turns out, I damn sure don't want a person in their 70s to be his backup.  Stacey Abrams in GA could be a shot...but really, she has no state level experience, much less Federal.  And Gov. Whitmer of Michigan, while I'd love to see her get picked just because it would piss off tRump (impeached) (she's a 'nasty' woman, who won't cowtow to him, remember?), she's only held that job for 2 years and has no other state level experience either.

So I guess my new favorite pick in the Biden VeepStakes is Kamala Harris.  I don't have any problem with her, I just preferred others to her.  But she's be more than fine as a Veep candidate.  She's a person of color.  She's a Senator.  And, as a former prosecutor, she knows how to take people on.  And has done so in Senate Hearings.  I would LOVE to see her in the 'attack dog' position in the campaign.  Ya know, allowing Biden to stay above the fray and act presidential while she gets to go out and verbally savage to opposition.  And if there are debates (which i'm sure there won't be) I'd love to see her devour Pence.

But anyway, this is my thinking.  Take it for what it's worth.

POLT

Today, May 3rd is six months from the election in November.  My prediction is that in the end, tRump (impeached) will "win" again.

He certainly will not win the popular vote.  But he'll get the Electoral vote majority...whether he actually does that or whether, as I think is likely, the Russians will ensure that those teetering states (Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Florida, and possibly even Minnesota, of all places)  will have their databases reflecting more votes cast for tRump (impeached) than for Biden (or whomever the opponent is).  After all, 17 different intelligence agencies have testified that the Russians hacked into 47 different state voter databases (they didn't DO anything once they got there, they did it just to prove they could, apparently).  And they warned that they think the Russians will do it again.  And despite the House passing a bill to increase election security....that bill has languished on Moscow Mitch's desk, never to be hard form again.  And that's the case for what, I assume, are obvious reasons.

Oh, and by the way, look for the Senate to remain in Republican hands.  The Russians will make certain there are enough people there to approve tRump (impeached)'s replacement for Ruth Bader Ginsburg so Putin's Puppets aka the National Republican Party, control all three branches of the US Government.

And if this happens, bet your bottom dollar this will be the last election we have the US.  Oh, in 2024, we'll have an "election" of some sort...but likely it'll just be a rubber stamp for Don Jr to follow his dad....if in fact they Constitution hasn't been amended to allow President's to serve more than two terms.  And if tRump (impeached) is still alive by then.

God knows I hope and pray I'm wrong, but.....

POLT

So, after South Carolina on Saturday and before Super Tuesday tomorrow, Steyer, Mayor Pete and Klobuchar all dropped out.  

Steyer, I could care less about, because someone who decides they're going to run for president just because they're rich is no reason to run for president.  Buy Mayor Pete and Klobuchar were my two favorites choices, and I'm sad to see them go.

However, I think it was the best move for them, for the party, for the country, and that they both knew it.

Unlike the 2016 Republican primary when candidates fought it out way to long and refused to let the majority of the party coalesce around a centrist non-tRump (impeached) candidate, the sane Democratic candidates this year, who knew they only had a longshot at best, are dropping out and allowing the party to coalesce around a centrist anti-Bernie candidate.

Bernie being the candidate, while getting my November vote over tRump (impeached), would ensure the orange narcissistic anal fistula would get reelected.  (Don't get me wrong I think that's going to happen anyway because of the Russians hacking into everything everywhere, but Bernie would lead us to a loss of Mondale 84, McGovern 72 or Goldwater 64 proportions). 

I'm not surprised Bloomberg is staying in, cause he's got an ego that equals his wealth, and I'm a bit surprised Warren hasn't dropped out yet, but I think she pulls support equally from Bernie and Biden, so that's not such a negative overall.

But whatever happens, it appears the election's going to be between two old straight white men in the 70s....which is so very very unfortunate.

POLT

Grabs my soul, shaking through my body like a Super Bowl (2019 season edition).....

So, Super Bowl LIV (fifty four, for those of you who don't now Roman Numerals).  Yeah, it'll be here in two days or so.  So it's about time I used my scientific methods to check out few categories, compare the teams in each, and, scientifically mind you, predict who's going to win this year.

1) CITIES

Chiefs: Kansas City, Missouri

City of 2.1 million people in the middle of the country with.....well, nothing else I can think of.

Niners: San Francisco, California

City of 4.7 million people, on the West Coast, home of the Golden Gate Bridge, the windiest road in the USA, cable cars, Alcatraz, the Castro District, and Nancy Pelosi, 

Winner: Niners.
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2) Distance of the city from the site of the Super Bowl 
(theory being, the closer the home site, the more fans for that team will be there)

San Francisco: 3115 driving miles, or about 44 hours.
Kansas City: 1464 driving miles, or about 22 hours.

Winner: Chiefs
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3)  Team Mascot/Logo

Chiefs:

Letters of the city name, surrounded by an Indian Arrowhead.  Chiefs named for the leader of warrior Native American tribes.

Niners:

Letters of the city name, surrounded by.....three circles of team colors?   Niners named for a bunch of greedy, dirty, usually criminal types who crossed the country for no reason other than to try to get filthy rich....and they usually failed.

Winner: Chiefs, for both logo and mascot
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4) Coaches

Chiefs: Andy Reid

61 years old.  Has been Chiefs head coach for 6 years. Has been a head coach in the NFL for 11 years.  Started coaching football in 1982 at BYU as a graduate assistant.  As an assistant coach in Green Bay, was with the team when they won Super Bowl XXXI in 1996.   Took the Philadelphia Eagles to the Super Bowl, but lost to the Patriots.

Niners: Kyle Shanahan

40 years old.  Has been Niners head coach for 2 years.  Has been a head coach in the NFL for 2 years. Started coaching football in 2003 at UCLA as a graduate assistant. As an assistant coach in Atlanta, was with the team when they went to Super Bowl LI in 2016, but lost to the Patriots.  Has never led a team to the Super Bowl.

So, in summary, Shanahan started assisting coaching the same year Reid took the Eagles all the way to a Super Bowl.

Winner: Chiefs.
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5) 2019 regular season record

Chiefs: 12-4
Niners: 13-3

Winner: Niners
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6) Quarterback Experience

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes

24 years old. Been in the NFL since 2017 (three years). 76 touchdowns to 18 interceptions.  

Following is a list of NFL records he holds:

• Most touchdown passes thrown through first two games of a season (10)
• Most touchdown passes thrown through first three games of a season (13)
• Most touchdown passes thrown through first three career games (10)
• Most touchdown passes thrown through first eight career games (22)
• Youngest quarterback to throw for six touchdowns in a game (22 years, 364 days)
• Most consecutive road games with 3+ touchdown passes (7)
• First player to throw for over 3,000 yards in his first ten games (3,185)
• Most consecutive 300-plus passing yard games (tied at 8)
• Fastest player to 4,000 passing yards and 40+ touchdown passes (13 games)
• Fastest to 7,500 career passing yards (24 games)

Has never been to a Super Bowl before.

Niners: Jimmy Garappolo

28 years old.  Been in the NFL since 2014 (5 years). 44 touchdowns to 21 interception.  Has no NFL records I could find.  Has never been to a Super Bowl before (well he DID go to 2 Super Bowls as a backup quarterback to Tom Brady of the Patriots...but he never touched the football during either game).

Winner: Chiefs
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7) Quarterback Face Cuteness

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes

Niners: Jimmy Garappolo 

Hmmm, Mahomes is kinda twink-ish cute, but also, a lil bit goofy looking.  Garappolo is more ruggedly handsome, but he looks kinda like a serial killer too.

Winner: I'm gonna call this one a tie.
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8) Quarterback Body Hotness

Chiefs: Mahomes

Niners; Garappolo

Winner:  I don't know man....I'm gonna have to make this one a tie as well.
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9) Other Star Player 

Chiefs: Running Back Darwin Thompson

Niners: Wide Receiver Marquise Goodwin

One guy's thick, muscular, with amazing pecs and a nice bulge.  The other is slim, sleek and has entirely too many tattoos. While I would not throw either of them out of bed (except to fuck with them on the floor), I have to say....

Winner: Chiefs (more to hold onto and less tattoos)
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10) Team Super Bowl Experience

Chiefs: Have been to two previous Super Bowls, winning one and losing one, although their last Super Bowl appearance and their last win was 50 seasons ago in 1969.

Niners: Have been to 6 previous Super Bowls, winning five and losing one.  Their last appearance was in 2012 where they lost to the Ravens.  Their last win was 26 seasons ago 1994.

Winner: Niners
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So, according to this entirely scientific study, the results are the Chiefs have 5, the Niners 3 and there are 2 ties.

Thus, the Kansas City Chiefs will win Super Bowl LIV

(bear in mind however, this is the 14th years I've made these predictions here, and my record over the past 13 years stands at 6 correct, 6 incorrect, and one (Patriots vs Eagles two years ago) that I didn't even make pics because I didn't give a shit who won.  So my record of predictions stands at 6-6-1)

POLT