She's the queen, we go to dance on saturday night...

Assuming there's been no problems (I'm writing Tuesday night for posting on Saturday, so who knows how things will actually be), we will be spending our first full day in Toronto!

WHOO-HOOO!

A full day...here... ...how lucky am I? And I've got several more days yet to go! And hopefully we'll meet up with at least one fellow blogger today! Awesome, EH?

POLT = listening to "Creep" by Radiohead

Whoa! Okay! you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend near 400 gallons of NITROGLYCERINE! - Tyler, Fight Club

A kiss is just a kiss (Part 44)...

Frenching Fridays

POLT = listening to "Psycho Killer" by The Talking Heads

That's why I never loved being superhero, sooner or later there's fighting! - Atom, JLA #96

Leaving, on a jet plane...

Well, no, not really, more like a Chrysler Concorde. But nonetheless, I'll be heading out the door soon for the trip to Toronto. Ag and I will be leaving about noon today, and we'll drive to Bradford PA where we'll spend the night.

Our friend, Johnnie (late of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie) used to attend college there, so that's why we stopped there originially.



But Johnnie's been in grad school in Philly, and Ag and I still stop there. Mainly for three reasons:
1) It breaks the 9-10 hour drive up and allows us to leave less early, and arrive more refreshed than we otherwise would.
2) Bradford has a restaurant called Beefeaters, that has THE thickest, most delicious steaks you could imagine.
3) Bradford also has a European Pastry shop that serves a homecooked, delicious breakfast that's pretty cheap considering what you get.

Tomorrow, we'll leave Bradford and arrive in Toronto. We'll be there through Tuesday morning, when we leave and arrive back in Bradford to spend the night (and visit Beefeaters and the pastry shop) before returning home. ALthough i don't really want to think about that yet, because that period of time is always depressing, knowing the trip is over and we're on our way home.

I'll still try to post everyday while I'm up there, cause you people mean THAT much to me (and I'm addicted, what can I say). And I've got things planned: catching up with Ed, a guy I met up there last year, again; meeting and having dinner and hanging with a fellow blogger, she and i have been planning this for a while; visiting all the shops along Church st; oh, and sex. Yes, as much sex as I can possibly have and not dehydrate myself.



I wont be able to comment on many of your blogs, like I normally do, maybe I can catch up with you all next week. But nonetheless, I'll try to hit some of the regular blogs i visit.

Have a great weekend everyone, I'll have photos for ya next week!

POLT = listening to "Countdown with Keith Olbermann"

His hair. His hair smells like the beach: salty and musky and wet. It smells so delicious. - Craig, Bumping Heads

I feel the need to be naked with you (Part 26)...

Once more, it's that time of the week:



This week I have a photo-quiz for you. Look at the photo and guess which answer is correct:



a) This is my impersonation of the face-hugger from Alien.
b) Sometimes, when I get bored, I play "Hide-N-Seek" by myself, and this particular time, I'm cheating, peeking through the fingers to see where I'm hiding.
c) Demonstrating proper finger placement to be able to hold a basketball upside down and not drop it.
d) My re-enactment of the Brady Bunch episode when Marcia gets hit with the football, "Oh my nose! My NOSE!"
e) Me kinda-sorta-almost-but-not-quite covering my eyes so I don't have to see the gory scene in the horror movie.
f) My thought just prior to taking the photo: "What the HELL am I gonna do for HNT this week?"
g) Me playing a game of my own creation, called, "Smell Where My Hand's Been!"

The correct answer in an upcoming post. In the meantime, if you'd like to know more about this insanity that IS Half-Nekkid Thursday, click on the box in the lefthand sidebar.

POLT = listening to "Disarm" by The Smashing Pumpkins

So you wrote a bad play and got molested. Welcome to theater. - Karen, Will & Grace

What to do, what to do? ...

Project Runway...sending all four designers to the Fall fashion week. What do I title my post, when no one got kicked off? What do I do with the photo I use, since I can't paint over anyone, since no one got kicked off?

????????????

What to do, what to do?

Well, perhaps I cuold congratulate the producers for keeping all four of them. They ARE all distinctive in their designs, and all worthy (yes, even Jeffrey, who I dislike extremely) of showing a collection. So this is good, in my opinion.

Did NOT like Michael's dress, and i was sweatin it all episode for him. Uli, much to my surprise did have the best dress. Laura....sigh, laura...I like her, as you all know, but didn't she make that EXACT same dress a few weeks ago? Maybe it's just they're all so similiar, I got confused? And Jeffrey....he took a chance, gotta admire that, I suppose. But I hated the dress. UGH!

So next week is the reunion special...outta be good. Too bad Loupe wont be there like that last year, all high or drunk or whatever and rambling incoherently. That was fun.

POLT - listening to "Acetone" by The Crystal Method

I'm so excited I could SQUIRT! - Alf

I keep a good friend on videotape...

We all have heard of the Rob Lowe sextape. And the Tommy Lee/Pam Anderson sextape. And of course, the Paris Hilton sextape. Well get ready for the next celebrity sextape scandal. This time, it's Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech from Saved By The Bell.

Screech.

I. Shit. You. Not.

Screech.

Yes THAT Screech.

Apparently, its a 40 minute tape of Screech with two, count 'em, TWO women. And apparently they're all three doing sexual stuff, it's not like the two chicks are going at while Screech watches, although that scenario does seem more plausible. But the difference between this 'scandal' and the others is that, Screech apparently WANTS it to be sold. The poor guy's short on cash, and hoping this will get him some money, or maybe more gigs, who knows?

I've said this about other things, but it seems very appropriate here: If Screech making a porno isn't one of the signs of Apocolypse, it damn well outta be!

POLT = listening to "Daniel" by Elton John

"I give up! Don't kill me!" "I don't kill. But I am not averse to inflicting pain." - Batman, Batman #568

I am the president, I own the world, I am king of the world (Part 5)...

Worst President Ever Wednesday

It's too bad there IS no such book. If there were, perhaps we wouldn't be in the situations we're in now. Course, even if there was, I guess he'd still have to find someone to read it to him, what with the big words therein.

POLT = listening to "Trip Like I Do" by the Crystal Method

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - The President, Dr. Strangelove

Oh we could be heroes, forever and ever...

Last night, I managed to catch the first episode of that new show Heroes on NBC.


Frankly, I enjoyed it. I'm not sure how long it's gonna last, but the comic book fanboy geek in me liked it. (How MUCH of a comic book fanboy geek am I? Well, at one point they mention X-Men #143 where Kitty Pride goes back in time....I yelled at the TV. That was, to my recollection, X-Men #141-142, and her name is spelled Kitty PrYde...)

I mean, "normal" humans suddenly developing super powers...cool. I'm a bit unsure about the Japanese guy's powers and what he does exactly. And I have no idea what the Internet porn woman's powers are, but I'm interested enough to come on back and find out.

The show's not for everyone, but if you think you might be interested, check it out, you probably will like it.

POLT = listening to "It's A Kind Of Magic" by Queen

"You know Elvis is dead, right?" "No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home." - K, Men In Black

It's the final countdown...

From Countdown with Keith Olbermann (it's much better to view it, but I'm only reprinting the transcript here. It's long but WELL worth the read).

Finally tonight, a Special Comment about the Rose Garden news conference last Friday.

The President of the United States owes this country an apology. It will not be offered, of course. He does not realize its necessity.

There are now none around him who would tell him - or could. The last of them, it appears, was the very man whose letter provoked the President into the conduct, for which the apology is essential. An apology is this President’s only hope of regaining the slightest measure of confidence, of what has been, for nearly two years, a clear majority of his people.

Not "confidence" in his policies nor in his designs nor even in something as narrowly focused as which vision of torture shall prevail — his, or that of the man who has sent him into apoplexy, Colin Powell. In a larger sense, the President needs to regain our confidence, that he has some basic understanding of what this country represents — of what it must maintain if we are to defeat not only terrorists, but if we are also to defeat what is ever more increasingly apparent, as an attempt to re-define the way we live here, and what we mean, when we say the word "freedom."

Because it is evident now that, if not its architect, this President intends to be the contractor, for this narrowing of the definition of freedom. The President revealed this last Friday, as he fairly spat through his teeth, words of unrestrained fury…

…directed at the man who was once the very symbol of his administration, who was once an ambassador from this administration to its critics, as he had once been an ambassador from the military to its critics. The former Secretary of State, Mr. Powell, had written, simply and candidly and without anger, that "the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism."

This President’s response included not merely what is apparently the Presidential equivalent of threatening to hold one’s breath, but — within — it contained one particularly chilling phrase. Mr. President, former Secretary of State Colin Powell says the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. If a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and former secretary of state feels this way, don’t you think that Americans and the rest of the world are beginning to wonder whether you’re following a flawed strategy? BUSH: If there’s any comparison between the compassion and decency of the American people and the terrorist tactics of extremists, it’s flawed logic. It’s just — I simply can’t accept that. It’s unacceptable to think that there’s any kind of comparison between the behavior of the United States of America and the action of Islamic extremists who kill innocent women and children to achieve an objective.

Of course** it’s acceptable to think that there’s "any kind of comparison." And in this particular debate, it is not only acceptable, it is obviously necessary. Some will think that our actions at Abu Ghraib, or in Guantanamo, or in secret prisons in Eastern Europe, are all too comparable to the actions of the extremists. Some will think that there is no similarity, or, if there is one, it is to the slightest and most unavoidable of degrees.

What all of us will agree on, is that we have the right — we have the duty — to think about the comparison. And, most importantly, that the other guy, whose opinion about this we cannot fathom, has exactly the same right as we do: to think — and say — what his mind and his heart and his conscience tell him, is right.
All of us agree about that.

Except, it seems, this President.

With increasing rage, he and his administration have begun to tell us, we are not permitted to disagree with them, that we cannot be right. That Colin Powell cannot be right.And then there was that one, most awful phrase.

In four simple words last Friday, the President brought into sharp focus what has been only vaguely clear these past five-and-a-half years - the way the terrain at night is perceptible only during an angry flash of lightning, and then, a second later, all again is dark.

"It’s unacceptable to think…" he said. It is never unacceptable… to think.

And when a President says thinking is unacceptable, even on one topic, even in the heat of the moment, even in the turning of a phrase extracted from its context… he takes us toward a new and fearful path — one heretofore the realm of science fiction authors and apocalyptic visionaries.

That flash of lightning freezes at the distant horizon, and we can just make out a world in which authority can actually suggest it has become unacceptable to think. hus the lightning flash reveals not merely a President we have already seen, the one who believes he has a monopoly on current truth.

It now shows us a President who has decided that of all our commanders-in-chief, ever… he, alone, has had the knowledge necessary to alter and re-shape our inalienable rights. This is a frightening, and a dangerous, delusion, Mr. President.

If Mr. Powell’s letter - cautionary, concerned, predominantly supportive — can induce from you such wrath and such intolerance — what would you say were this statement to be shouted to you by a reporter, or written to you by a colleague?

"Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government…"

Those incendiary thoughts came, of course, from a prior holder of your job, Mr. Bush. They were the words of Thomas Jefferson.

He put them in the Declaration of Independence. Mr. Bush, what would you say to something that annti-thetical to the status quo just now? Would you call it "unacceptable" for Jefferson to think such things, or to write them?

Between your confidence in your infallibility, sir, and your demonizing of dissent, and now these rages better suited to a thwarted three-year old, you have left the unnerving sense of a White House coming unglued - a chilling suspicion that perhaps we have not seen the peak of the anger; that we can no longer forecast what next will be said to, or about, anyone… who disagrees.

Or what will next be done to them. On this newscast last Friday night, Constitiutional law Professor Jonathan Turley of George Washington University, suggested that at some point in the near future…some of the "detainees" transferred from secret CIA cells to Guantanamo, will finally get to tell the Red Cross that they have indeed been tortured.

Thus the debate over the Geneva Conventions, might not be about further interrogations of detainees, but about those already conducted, and the possible liability of the administration, for them. That, certainly, could explain Mr. Bush’s fury.

That, at this point, is speculative. But at least it provides an alternative possibility as to why the President’s words were at such variance from the entire history of this country. For, there needs to be some other explanation, Mr. Bush, than that you truly believe we should live in a United States of America in which a thought is unacceptable.

There needs to be a delegation of responsible leaders — Republicans or otherwise — who can sit you down as Barry Goldwater and Hugh Scott once sat Richard Nixon down - and explain the **reality** of the situation you have created.

There needs to be… an apology from the President of the United States.

And more than one.

But, Mr. Bush, the others — for warnings unheeded five years ago, for war unjustified four years ago, for battle unprepared three years ago — they are not weighted with the urgency and necessity of this one. We must know that, to you…thought with which you disagree — and even voice with which you disagree - and even action with which you disagree — are still sacrosanct to you.

The philosopher Voltaire once insisted to another author, "I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write." Since the nation’s birth, Mr. Bush, we have misquoted and even embellished that statement, but we have served ourselves well, by subscribing to its essence.

Oddly, there are other words of Voltaire’s that are more pertinent still, just now. "Think for yourselves," he wrote, "and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too." Apologize, sir, for even hinting at an America where a few have that privilege to think — and the rest of us get yelled at by the President.

Anything else, Mr. Bush, is truly… unacceptable.

He is SO right on all his points. Like a laser beam focused on the truth and not all the crap that's being floated out there. Of course, the people that SHOULD read it, the people that NEED to read it, those slack jawed yokels who never gravitate from Faux News or talk radio, will never see it, hear it or read it. If Bushie or his ilk that parrot what the White House's talking points are for that day, don't say it, well, then obviously it just ain't true! God forbid they would think for themselves. no that's too hard. And it would take time away from thier American Idol watching.

*SIGH*....people get the kind of government they deserve, and Bushie's type of government IS what a (slim) majority of Americans deserve. The problem is, the other 48% thinking, logical, reasoning minority of us are stuck with it too.

POLT = listening to "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

One year ago today, the time for excuse making has come to an end. - George W. Bush

Too much information for my head (Part 8)...

As always, this comes from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com :

TMI Tuesday #50
1. What's the longest you've ever gone without a shower? Right after high school me and two friends went to Ocean City Maryland for 6 days. On the 3rd night there, I got all drunk and threw up all over myself and the bed (I had been drinking sloe gin, so everything came up red!). My friends threw me in the shower, and after cleaning up, I took my clothes off and left them there. We never showered again for the rest of the trip. WE went into the ocean to get clean, which really isn't a good way to get clean. Didn't even take the clothes with me home, I left them there. Fun times, fun times. So i guess three days with no shower. Oh, and we didn't take any shaving equipment along with us either.
2. Do you use a q-tip? If so, how often? About once a month I dip a q-tip in baby oil and rub it around inside me ears to loosen up the wax and keep it from clogging up my ears. (Oh yeah, I'm a sexy mutha, eh?)
3. Do you have any piercings, if so where? Any for sexual purposes? No I have none. Had a boyfriend that had a nipple pierced, he seemed to enjoy that played with quite a bit. And one of the best kissers I've ever kissed had his tongue pierced. But I have no desire to get ANYTHING pierced on me.
4. Oral sex... give or receive? Yes please.
5. Sex while on the period... ick? EW! God no! I am no good with even the sight of blood, so the thought of even attempting anything when.....*shudder, shudder, cringe, cringe* Ya know, God gave us guys a right hand for a reason!
Bonus (as in optional): Tell me your fantasy... details! 18 year old Asian twinkie with a hairthing, wearing only a dog collar and a jockstrap, on his knees before me, hands cuffed, his tongue sticking out, while I hold a Cadbury caramel egg in one hand, and Giant Sized X-Men #1 comic in the other, a glass of champagne on the table beside me next to a newspaper with the headline proclaiming Karl Rove is starting his prison sentence, and the TV turned to the swearing in of Jon Stewart as president in front of the new Congress that's 3/4ths Democratic. Ahhh, yeah, that's the ticket...

POLT = listening to "Bang Bang" by Nancy Sinatra

The most mysterious creatures in the universe: women. - Batman, The Justice League: Starcrossed

A cosmopolitan sophisticate of culture and intelligence...

So, ALL 16 American Intelligence agencies have released reports showing that they are ALL in agreement, that the war in Iraq has NOT, I repeat, NOT lessened terrorism in the world, but in fact has increased it. We have NOT rid the world of more terrorists, we have, instead, because of Iraq increased the number of terrorist. We have NOT made the world safer, we have in fact made it LESS SAFE!

This being the case for EVERY American intelligence agency, there was not ONE that dissented out of the 16 of them, when EVERY one of them has agreed this to be the case, why SHOULDN'T we vote the Republicans out of office? Thier whole election plan this year is based around "Re-elect us! We've made the world safer!" They have no other issues they CAN run on.

But now, we find out the world is NOT safer. SO I ask again, what possible reason can there be to vote FOR a Republican for Congress this year?
******************************************************
Several retired Major Generals that have served in Iraq testifiedon Congress that the war in Iraq has been ineptly run since the beginning with underfunding and undermanning. They testified the troops were not safe, they were getting no support from Washington, and the results are evident in all the problems in Iraq now.

Once more, I ask, if THIS is why the Republicans want us to vote for them in six weeks, why in God's name WOULD anyone?
******************************************************
President Clinton's interview with Chris Wallace had me cheering. In answer to whether CLinton felt he did enough to get bin Laden (and in light of all the blame being hurled his way by the far Right Republican Radical conservatives and the crap "mock"umentary showed on TV not too long ago), he answered, "No." he didn't do enough, because he didn't get bin Laden, but at least he TRIED! When he left office, he left a comprehensive worldwide terrorism plan and an supremely qualified man in charge of it. For 8 months, the Bushies did NOTHING at all, never even TRIED to get bin Laden. And then demoted to man in charge.

Also, President Clinton pointed out that the same far Right Republicans who are now ciriticizing him for not doing enough now, were the exact same ones who criticized him in 1998 when he went after bin Laden by saying President Clinton was only trying to distract the country from the Lewinski witch-hunt.

I'm just so glad SOMEBODY is finally out there, pointing out the Republican/Faux News hypocracy and I'm FINALLY glad to sese someone angry about it, and fighting back! I wish MORE Democrats would use facts and reason and documentation to refute this crap that goes virtually unchallenged in the media these days.

Hopefully this will spur more Democrats in office or running for office, to get off thier asses and take on the Repubilicans!

POLT = listening to "Countdown" with Keith Olbermann

It's os easy to say Bush is an idiot. But I don't say it. You just let his own words and his own pictures do it. - Michael Moore

The jackass and the hyena, took the feather from it's hook...

Okay, so this afternoon, Ghostie, Gilligan and I went to see Jackass Two.

Not as funny as the first one, I thought, but I still laughed a lot. The bits were a bit too long I thought. What I love about Jackass is the rapid fire skits, one is barely over, and they've moved onto the next one. BUt the movie had these extended bits, some funny others not so. but Jackass is an acquired taste, so if you enjoy it, as I do, you'll love the movie anyway, and if you don't 'get' Jackass, or just don't find it funny, then the movie will be meaningless to you. Stay away.

For me, laughed and laughed I did.

Plus, due to the stupid bye week rules in football, the Dallas Cowboys did not play this week and so they remain 1-1.







POLT = listening to "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

I'm not doing CPR on a bloke who can bite through titanium! - The Authority: More Kev #3

Week 63...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS




















POLT = listening to "Gold Digga" by Kanye West

I find the oven is a great place for storage. Especially cardboard. - Kyan, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

Oh, I won’t spill the milk at dinner...

This weekend, as the four previous ones, Freddie came down from college (yeah, it IS something indeed). Friday night, when he arrived, after our...introductions, he told me he'd make me dinner Saturday night. I told him how sweet it was. Freddie wanted me to tell him what I wanted him to make me, but I told him to surprise me, as he knows what food I like and don't like.

Saturday, I got up and to work, as usual. When I got home, Freddie was napping (sleeps like an angel he does), and he told me had gone to Wal-Mart while I was at work and got everything we needed to eat. He was going to make me chicken parmesian. I asked if he knew how to do that, and he said he never made it before, but he got a recipe online and was just going to use that.

So after our...re-introductions, we showered and set about making the meal. I helped him a little, but primarily he made it all himself. the first thing we had to do was clean the dishes that were piled up, so that we could use them to cook the meal. A photo below shows the task that was.



While Freddie cut up the chicken breasts, I got be the breadcrumb pourer and make certain he had enough. (after he cut the chicken, he dipped it in eggs, and then rolled it in breadcrumbs). Here below is a photo of Freddie cutting the chicken.



Freddie had, in addition to the chicken parmesian itself, gotten salads (hold the e.coli infected spinach please), breadsticks and a pie for dessert. He prepared them all too. (well, he cut the pie at the appropriate time, and he poured the salads in bowls for us, but he DID bake the breadsticks) A photo below shows the care he took in baking the bread. The chicken can be seen on the lower shelf.



During the preparation Ag called about something else, and we invited her up, so she joined us for the meal. This is her below.



Oh, and I thought this was kinda...well I don't think ironic is actually the right word, but I'm gonna say ironic anyways. When I got home from work on Saturday, and notice something out front: Freddie's car was parked there, and behind it was parked the truck of Ag's latest squeeze. And they are both painted the SAME COLOR! the proof is immediately below. Ag's squeeze's car is on the left, Freddie's on the right. But now, back to the dinner. Is it fate?



I put the water on for the pasta, and put the pasta in, but he watched over it and stirred it and stuff, as can be seen in the following photo. Note how, even though he's busy stirring, he still took time out to wave to us and blow us a kiss...or scrunch up his nose...who knows? The important thing is, he's stirring the pasta.



This is the chicken, finished, right out the oven, and you can see how proud Freddie is of it (and rightly so). [Note the spiffy oven mitt on his hand!]



This is a photo of my second helping of chicken, pasta and sauce. The rainbow linen in the photo is something I found to place inside my deviled egg container to line it so we could put the breadsticks in it. (yeah, I may not have much Tupperware, but I've got inventiveness, so it all balances out in the end)



And this is the plate afterwards, devoid of all the yummy food, although there is so left over sauce, we had plenty of that.



And that was the first time Freddie cooked for me. And Ag. And what a delicious meal it was. And it's a good thing the boy can cook, cause God knows, if it don't involve a microwave, I can't cook it.

POLT = listening to "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter

How did I get here and why am I covered in drool? - Beast Boy, The Teen Titans

Let's get unconscioun honey (Part 15)....

Once more, as always, I get this from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/:

I say ... and you think ... ?

Bell :: Saved By
Abuse :: Child
Relief :: Ex-Lax
List :: Grocery
Concern :: Worry
Absolute :: Vodka
Cling :: Wrap
Dump :: Crap
Terminate :: Kill
Wine :: Cheese

Polt - listening to "Little Fluffy Clouds" by The Orb

Flash, don't heckle the supervillian! - Green Lantern, The Justice Legaue

Only if you ride the tide, and balance...

WASHINGTON - U.S. military deaths from Iraq and Afghanistan now surpass those of the most devastating terrorist attack in America’s history, the trigger for what came next.

The latest milestone for a country at war came Friday without commemoration. It came without the precision of knowing who was the 2,974th to die in conflict. The terrorist attacks killed 2,973 victims in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania.



An Associated Press count of the U.S. death toll in Iraq rose to 2,696. Combined with 278 U.S. deaths in and around Afghanistan, the 9/11 toll was reached, then topped, the same day. The Pentagon reported Friday the latest death from Iraq, an as-yet unidentified soldier killed a day earlier after his vehicle was hit by a roadside bombing in eastern Baghdad.

Okay, Bushie's war has now killed more Americans then the terrorists did on 911. Can we stop now? Can we just say the scales are balanced and we're even, and let's go home? Let's get our young and brightest out of this meat grinder. Perhaps we could relocated some to Afghanistan so maybe we could actually FIND the mastermind behind the attacks. Remember him, Bin Laden? This just upsets me, wasting our young lives like this in Iraq, that had nothing to do with 911. And what's even MORE upsetting is that there's NO outcry from the public! Why don't American citizens care about it?

POLT = listening to "Sister Blister" by Alanis Morissette

"David...may I call you David?" "Well, my name is Paul." "Okay, Dave then!" - The Kids In The Hall

I walked through the ruins, icons of glory...

I posted about my weekend, last weekend, and I realized I didn't post any icons of the participants for those of you who may have grown used to them. So I'll do so now.

Friday night at the Mall, Saturday night at the wedding, and Sunday night watching football, it was Me, Ag, and Freddie.





Sunday afternoon, going to play miniature golf was Me, Freddie, Garver and Troy.





And may I point out that this is a new icon for Troy, as I really didn't like the obviousness of the other one. This one is NOT a photo of Troy, but Troy does have the eyebrow pierced at the same place, so I'll use it.

POLT = listening to "Macy's Day Parade" by Green Day

Are you going to make table 7's gravy or should we mail it to them? - Chef: A Second Helping

A kiss is just a kiss (Part 43)...

Frenching Friday

POLT = listening to "Situation" by Yaz

"You wouldn't drink your beer warm, would you?" "No. Not unless I had to." - Straight Guy Phil, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

He says he's a beautician and sells you nutrition...

In order to have the most well informed readers in all of blogdom, I give you the following:

Cum Nutrition Facts
In this age of calorie and carb counting and required nutrition labeling on foods, everyone wants to know exactly what's in what they're eating. And of course, if you're going to eat cum, it's no different. Unfortunately, it's hard to find exact nutritional data for semen, but here's some information to help you figure out how cum fits into your balanced diet.

What's in Semen:Obviously, semen contains spermatozoa, but sperm accounts for only a small percentage of spunk. Cum is 90 percent seminal fluid, which is composed of dozens of chemical components. The base of seminal fluid is primarily fructose (sugar) and proteins, with many other trace minerals and substances.

Here's a listing of some of semen's ingredients:
Sugars: Fructose, sorbitol, inositol
Proteins and amino acids: glutathione, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), creatine
Minerals: Phosphorus, zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium
Vitamins: Ascorbic acid (vitamin C), vitamin B12, choline
Hormones: Testosterone, prostaglandins
Body byproducts: Lactic acid, urea, uric acid, nitrogen

Is Eating Cum Healthy?: Healthy semen (that is, cum produced by a well-nourished, disease-free male) may in fact be not only safe to eat, but actually good for you. Seminal fluid, the base of cum, is a veritable nutrient-rich soup. Semen is a source of highly concentrated, high-quality protein. In dietary terms, it's comparable to egg whites or gelatin. Besides protein, semen contains high concentrations of some minerals, such as zinc, and trace amounts of other important nutrients, like calcium and magnesium. While you shouldn't depend on a shot of cum to get your recommended daily allowances of vitamins and minerals, swallowing semen on a regular basis can't hurt as a dietary supplement.

Will Semen Make Me Fat?: Although cum may look creamy and opaque, it contains very little fat, and few calories. One teaspoon of cum contains about 5 calories, and the average ejaculation produces about a tablespoon of semen, for a total of 15 calories. Because of the sugars in seminal fluid, we'd guess that it has a few carbohydrates, but considering the relatively small volume of semen per "serving" we'd guess the total amount to be negligible. Given that cum is a high-protein, low-carb snack, you'd think the Atkins Diet people would be all over it by now.

Plus, when you factor in the calories expended in performing oral sex, chances are you're burning off much more than you're consuming. The only way that swallowing during a blow job will make you fat is if you cover your lover's dick with whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

Now, I hope all the confusion is cleared up.

POLT = listening to "Vogue" by Madonna

"Were you drunk?" "It was twelve noon! Of course I was drunk!" - Evie, Girls Will Be Girls

Vomiting morons, the scalps of zero hair...

In a recent Washington Post poll, 30% of the respondents could not name the year in which the 911 terrorist attacks occured. In the same poll, 5% of the respondents could not name the month and day the 911 terrorist attacks occured.

Seriously.

I'm not kidding.

No. Lie.

And this, friends, goes a long way towards explaining Bushie getting sent to the Oval Office twice and Republican majorities in Congress for the past 12 years.

Stupid people believe any lie told to them.

The founding fathers MUST be spinning in their graves.

POLT = listening to "Once In A Lifetime" by The Talking Heads

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating. - George W. Bush

You know your worth when your enemies praise...

My blog is worth $8,468.10.
How much is your blog worth?

Okay, so I did this again, to see how much my blog was worth. I did it before, the only problem is I don't remember how much it was worth then, nor when i did this, so I can't go back and check. But oh well, we'll just take this for what it's worth.

POLT = listening to "Snakedriver" by the Jesus And Mary Chain

"Someday soon, Carl, an influx of hormones, that we can't control, will overrule our better judgement and force us to pursue the female of the species." "NO! Stop it, Jimmy! You're scaring me!" - Carl, Jimmy Neutron

Time is on my side...

This time, next week, Ag and I will be pulling out on our annual trip to Toronto!

WHOO-HOOO!!!!

I LOVE Toronto!

Course, the downside is, two weeks from now, at this time, I'll be at lunch on my first day back to work...probably draggin my ass three feet behind me from being tired, and depressed to be back at work and not in Toronto. *GROAN*

Oh well, concentrate on the positive. Like this:



And this:



And most definitely this:



POLT = listening to "T-T-T-T-Touch Me" from the Rocky Horror Soundtrack

World domination? Are you nuts? How stupid do I look? I'll leave that to the religious nuts and Republicans. - Monarch, The Venture Brothers

I feel the need to be naked with you (Part 25)...

Hey one and all it's time again for

This week, I'm a bit more...restrained than in the past.

Yes, those ARE my hands,
Yes, those ARE my cuffs,
Yes, that IS my bed, and
Yes, that IS all I'm sayin...

HAPPY HNT!

POLT = listening to "After The Flesh" by My Life WIth The Thrill Kill Cult

Prison isn't all that different from a night club: everything is free, and I don't have to get out of bed in the morning and I can get all the drugs and sex I want. - Michael Alig, Party Monster

I am the president, I own the world, I am king of the world (Part 4)...

Worst President EVER Wednesday

I don't know how clear it all is so...
The pink part says, "Moose heads"
The green part says, "Latinos"
The purple part says "Cocaine & Coffee"
The white part says "Ice"
The British flag colored part says "51st State"
The dark blue part says "Wine, Perfume, Spaghetti..."
The striped part says "Empty Area."
The maroon area says "Russian Mob"
The orange area says "Oil & War"
The two light yellow areas say "Nike Factory" and "Microsoft Factory"
The darker yellow area say "Radioactive Area"
The red little sliver says "Don't Go Here"
The blue area says "Big Island (Hawaii?)"

And frankly, I think this map overestimates Bushie's world view a bit. In his mind it's probably just "Us" and "Them".

POLT = listening to "Freedom 90" by George Michael

"Nobody likes someone who knows everything." "So I've discovered in my life." - Tobey Zeigler, The West Wing

Hot dog, we're gonna have a ball tonight...

Today at work, I was reading over the paperwork of this client, a female named B. Thorpe. And I started laughing, almost uncontrollably. Luckily i was in my office alone when it happened.

See when I was in high school, I attended it with a girl named Thorpe, with the initial B. B was kinda of...well, no not kind of, she was white trash. She was a heavy girl, but she wore tube tops (yeah, I'm cringing now too). She chewed gum with her mouth open and did so frequently. She was loud, whether it was just talking, or the horse laugh she had or whatever. And she propel herself through the halls of school as if she owned them, like she was better than the rest of us. We all knew she was destined to be one of those women who grow to over 500 pounds, wear nothing but flowery mu-mus, have about a dozen kids to at least that meny different men, wear curlers in her hair (even to the store, she'd just throw a scarf over them), have a moustache thicker than Alex Trebeks used to be, and what soap operas and Jerry Springer-esque tv shows while puffing her way through a carton of cigs, and putting away a bottle of whiskey a night. In a trailer. With a screen door that flapped in the wind.

You get the idea, right?

Okay, so anyway, in our senior year, the rumor circulated, although it was later comfirmed by the mother of a student who was a nurse at the hospital, that B arrived at the emergency room the night before. Now I never got the whole story firsthand, but apparently B was...pleasuring herself with three frozen hot dogs. At the same time. And whether they broke off, or just...got lost, I don't know, but two of them (or portions of two of them) got lodged within her and she couldn't get them out and had to go to the hospital.



Yeah, I know it's gross, and sad and cruel and all, but I can't help it, I'm laughing almost to tears even now as I type it. It couldn't happen to a nicer person, I assure you. And so, even now, twenty years after high school, when I encounter a woman with the initial B and named Thorpe, I just laugh like a hyenia.

Just KNEW you'd all want to share in my perverse delight.

POLT = listening to "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers

Let's swap bodily fluids, baby! - Kyle, Tomcats

I reattached my emotions, cellular narcotic....

LONDON - Surgeons in China who said they performed the first successful penis transplant had to remove the donated organ because of the severe psychological problems it caused to the recipient and his wife.

Dr Weilie Hu and surgeons at Guangzhou General Hospital in China performed the complex 15-hour surgery on a 44-year old man whose penis had been damaged in a traumatic accident. The microsurgery to attach the penis, which had been donated by the parents of a 22-year-old brain-dead man, was successful but Hu and his team removed it two weeks later.

“Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off,” Hu said in a report published online by the peer reviewed journal European Urology, without elaborating. “This is the first reported case of penile transplantation in a human,” Hu added.
Both the man and his wife had requested the surgery. He had been unable to have intercourse or urinate properly since the accident that occurred 8 months before the surgery was performed.

Ten days after the operation, which had been approved by the hospital’s medical ethical committee, the recipient had been able to urinate. There had been no signs of the 10-centimeter (4-inch) organ being rejected by the recipient’s body. But Hu said more cases and longer observation are needed to determine whether sexual sensation and function can be restored. “The patient finally decided to give up the treatment because of the wife’s psychological rejection, as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis” Hu added.

In a commentary in the journal, Yoram Vardi, of the Rambam Medical Center in Haifa, Israel, said the successful surgery represents an additional step in contemporary medicine. But he added that careful patient selection is required as well as thorough informed consent of the patient and his family. “Satisfactory consideration of these issues must be taken into account so that this approach can be considered a serious therapeutic option in the future,” Vardi added.

Just a couple comments:

1) is the surgeons first name pronounced 'Willy'?
2) When I'm 44, I'd love to get my hands on the penis of a 22 year old!
3) I think the psychological problems probably resulted from the fact the penis was only 4 inches. That would give me psychological problems too!

I'm just sayin....

POLT = listening to "I See You Baby" by The Groove Armada

If you can't play for free on Sundays, you shouldn't be playing football at all. - Brett Favre

Too much information in my head (Part 7)...

Got this from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com, as always. Go there an play along.

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the without anything steamy happening? (Opposite sex for breeders, same sex for homosexuals). Yes, numerous times. I've slept with many male friends, and nother happened other than sleep, cause they were straight and not interested in gay sex.
2. Streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people? No, never before a group of people, no.
3. Have you had dates with multiple people in the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions?? Well, I wouldn't call them dates, exactly, but I have had mulitple sex partners over the same weekend, wherein the partners didn't know about the others.
4. What is the most "romantic" you have ever gotten in a movie theater? Got a blowjob from a date during "Mississippi Burning" many years ago.
5. Have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching? Oh hell yeah! I think that' pretty freakin hot too!
Bonus (as in optional): If you could say anything you wanted anonymously to anyone, without identifying that person, what would you say? You're a jerk and I hope she hurts you as much, iof not more, than you hurt me, you bastard.

POLT = listening to "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics

I tell you, breathing fire may look cool. But the taste leaves something to be desired, like hacking up charcoal. - Sabbac, The Outsiders #9

Living for the weekend...

My weekend:

FRIDAY
Freddie arrives. Have a quickie. Ag, Freddie, and I go to nearby Mall. Freddie gets haircut. Ag buys new top for wedding. Freddie buys new shirts and jeans for wedding. Ag buys new cellphone. I simply accompany Freddie. Drive to Target to buy one half of wedding gift. Go to TGIFridays and have a late supper, including a strawberry dacquri for me and two for Ag. Drive to Wal-Mart to buy other half of wedding gift. Return home. Get a little sumpin-sumpin before bed.

SATURDAY
Wake, shower, get to work. Feel like crap all day. Sore throat (which has been on going since Thursday) and stuffed head. And hot all day, but no fever. Leave work about 2 hours early. Come home. Tell Freddie what time I need to get up and take a nap. Woken by Freddie on time. Bump nasties. Shower together. Get dressed, stop by Ag's apartment, and then head out for wedding.

Arrive at wedding kinda early. Have good seats, greet all the people we know, and meet a few new ones. Watch the very casual service (groom wore Hawaiian shirt and shorts). Eat food. Drink beer. Eye rape all the cute guys there. Get many photos (photo post to the blog forthcoming). Leave after 2.5 hours because I really don't fell well.

Ag returns to her apartment, Freddie and I to mine. Laid on the sofa with my head on Freddie's lap and watched some TV. Freddie volunteered to walk to a local store and get me some orange juice (I KNOW...ain't he sweet) and did so, bringing me a glass of it upon his return. Watched a bit more TV before going to bed. Helped Freddie get some relief then we feel asleep.

SUNDAY
Woke about 400 AM with my throat on FIRE and in serious pain. Took some cough syrup and cold pills and went back to a fitful sleep. Freddie and I both woke about 800, and my throat felt better (still sore, but not in pain like in the morning). Freddie offered to make me breakfast, but instead we did the horizontal bop and then went back to sleep.

Got up without disturbing him and watched some TV and got online for a bit. About two hours later, returned to bed. Woke Freddie. We hit it, and then showered together. Ate at McDonalds, took jeans he bought on Friday back to store (too expensive), and got shorts on sale. Went to pick up my friends Garver and Troy. Four of us went Miniture Golfing (or as we call it in these parts: Putt-Putt!). Final scores: Garver - 78; Troy - 76; - Freddie - 69 (how appropriate); and Uncle Polt - 47 (and the fact that I was keeping score had NOTHING to do with it!) Went to Rita's where we all got ice cream or gilati's. Mmm-mmm. Dropped Troy and Garver off at thier place.

Returned to the apartment. Ag called said she'd bring pizza up and watch the football game with us. Freddie and I then got Jiggy wit it, and then showered again together. Ag arrived and we ate the pizzas while watching the game.

Dallas Cowboys are 1-1!

Freddie did his homework while Ag and I watched the game. Once he was finished, he kinda watched it with us. When it ended, Ag left, and Freddie and I went to bed.

MONDAY
500am, alarm goes off. I wake Freddie who finishes packing and then heads out. I go back to sleep. He calls me about 800 to tell me he's almost back to college and will make his 930 class in plenty of time. I get up and start my day.

So, I'm sure you can see now why I don't have much time over the weekends to post to the blog.
And as I mentioned, a photo post forthcoming, depending on how cooperative Blogger decides to be.

Also, here is a short list of things overheard this weekend:

No tickling in the aisle of glass!
Shall I get you a blanket to clean up with?
He sucked on my eyeball and made it all red!
Stop it, you guys! No more ping-ponging me!
This, guys, is a pla-TEAU!
Oh, his ball just kissed yours!
See, you missed cause you were thinking of Whore-guleria. Think of Madonna, you'll do better.
Wanna see me put the whole end of this cone in my mouth?
I like touching boobies.
It's a Friday night, and I'm back at Wal-Mart. What a life.
I've had lots to drink before but i have NEVER licked the side of the glass like that!
Ooo, you see those clouds? They're like the ones from that beer commercial!
You be careful tonight, you could hurt someone with all that boobage.
It's a purple themed wedding!

POLT = listening to "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor

I can't understand why anybody gives a damn whether gay people get married or not. It really makes no sense to me at all. We need more loving families in this country, not less. - Ann Richards, May 20, 2004 [God bless you Ann, you'll be missed]

Week 62...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS





















POLT = listening to "Trickshot" by Ceasefire

Hate is a choice, love is a gift. Love doesn't understand names or lables. Hate can change. Love cannot. - Josh Guthrie, Uncanny X-Men #439