Vibe like that, karma is my boyfriend....

I've been hesitant to do this because I didn't want to jinx anything, but I think it's time.  

Everyone, meet Cedrik.

He and I met on New Year's Eve, and we've been hanging out ever since.  Well, more than hanging out.  Dating.  And actually, we've reached the point where we call each other boyfriend.  And yes, I DO feel like a pimply face Middle Schooler when I say that, but whatever.   There's worse feelings, yeah?

We've spent several very fun weekends together, and one or two evenings together after work.  A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking has met him twice, during the Super Bowl and when we all went to a movie. 

And later tonight, after we eat, we're gonna stop by Mom's cottage on the way home and they're going to meet.  (mom has met at least guys I dated previously, but she didn't know we were dating.  This time, she does.  I checked to make sure she was okay with meeting and of course she was.)  So an introduction to mom...that should show you how important he is to me. 

So I'm really hoping posting about here does not jinx anything, but again, it seems like it was time. 

POLT

It's better the second time around....

Today after work, I stopped by Sean's for another slap and tickle this afternoon.  And yeah, it was better than last week.  Which isn't what I expected.  In my experience, the first time is the best.  But, nope that was shot down today.  And afterwards there was cuddling and talking, which we didn't do last time.  He said he wanted to come to my place, and I told him absolutely.  And since I don't have a roommate that gets home at 6 PM (like he does) there'd be no reason for him to leave early.  In fact, I told him he could stay the night. And we could spend hours not getting out of bed. Which made us both smile.  He asked if I cooked, and I gave him the "if-it-doesn't-involve-a-microwave-I-can't-cook-it" look and told him "Sure.  It's called ordering a pizza."  And he said that was fine because if we were gonna be in bed for hours, he'd need something to eat to keep his strength up.

Even though he lives in Hagerstown, he knows my town somewhat well, because his last boyfriend lived there.  We talked about restaurants in town.  When I told him, he knew almost exactly where I lived.  And we tired to make plans for a next time.  I asked about this Saturday, but he's going to be house sitting for a friend, so there'll be no more sexxybedtimes fun between us before the world ends. 

But in case the world DOESN'T end Saturday, then we made plans for me to stop by one night next week.

When I got home, I sent him an email thanking him for such a wonderful time, and mentioning that next time, perhaps instead of time in the bed, we may want to go out to get something to eat or a movie or whatever.  Or perhaps do that in addition to time in bed!   He responded back saying, and I quote:

"I agree Chris. I'm not opposed to hanging out with you, and think that would be fun. I enjoy spending time w/you...so good call. I had a great time as well."

So it seems that this....whatever this is Sean and I have, might be moving to a dating situation in addition to just fuckbuddies.  And ya know, I'm okay with that.  Very very okay with it.

POLT

Thing's right for the weekend crazy clothes, anything...

I've been somewhat incommunicado this weekend, but for a few good reasons. I had a pretty bad toothache Saturday at work, so bad that if I could have gotten into the dentist that day, I'd have had the tooth ripped outta my head just to make the pain stop. I got some percocets from a coworker (shut up), took one, and then left work at 2:00 two hours early cause 1)all my work was done and 2) did I mention my tooth FUCKING HURT?

I did manage to get the dentist to call in a prescription for pain and an antibiotic, as I'm sure my gums were swollen. After work, I picked up Kris, and we drove to the pharmacy and got the scripts. We returned to my house, where we talked for a bit until the percocet finally kicked in and the pain subsided. Much to my pleasant surprise, the pain NEVER returned. I have no idea what cause it in the first place. Then we went to the bedroom and had the bedtimesexxyfun. Since it was then 6:00 and we had expended a lot of energy and were feeling rather peckish, we dressed and ate at Applebees.

Had a great meal. And fun times. He sang along to some of the music playing. We told stories. We laughed. I rubbed his leg with my foot under the table.

Kris is such a caring guy. Before I left work I called him to tell him of my toothpain. I asked if he still wanted to hang out, because since I was going to be miserable either with or without him, I thought I'd like to spend it with him. But I also wanted to ask becaue I couldn't promise how friendly or fun I'd be. His answer: "I just want to be with you even if I don't do anything but hold you when you feel bad." AWWW....I know! Also, he cares so much about his roommate Tony. Tony's girlfriend just broke up with him last weekend, and Kris was afraid Tony might just be hanging around the apartment all in a funk and alone. I met Tony last week, he's a nice kid and I didn't want to see him doing that either. So Kris called him and we ended up going to get him and bringing him back to my house Saturday night. And, one night in bed, post bedtimesexxyfun and pre sleeping, upon my request, he sang for me. Totally unembarrassed like the first time. And he sang well. I "awwww" inside.

A week from today, I'll be starting a D&D game with some old players from last year, and Tony and Chris will be playing as well. Oughta be fun. Anyway, we did some stuff with that to get them ready. And then we watched the remainder of "28 Days Later" that Kris and I started, but didn't finish, last week. And after that, we went to bed....Kris and I in my bed (with the bedtimesexxyfun) and Tony in the spare room. (Tony's a sweet guy too, and quite funny. But I say sweet cause he actually made the bed each morning when he got out! I don't even do that!)

Sunday morning, Kris and I woke up about 9:00, but we didn't get out of bed until about 10:30 or so (yes, more bedtimesexxyfun....God to be 20 again!). Once Tony got up and moving, I told them I'd take them to Denny's for breakfast, as Denny's is apparantly Tony's favorite restaurant in all of creation. But when we got there, it was packed. And as the Cowboys' game started at 1:00, and it was already 11:30, we didn't have time to wait. So we went to Tony's second favorite restaurant in all of creation: Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, for breakfast (they're able to eat damn near anything....God, to be 20 again). But they weren't crowded, the food was good, the company fun and entertaining, and we got home in time for the start of the game.

The game...yeah Dallas lost...again. Both games this season, they've lost. Both games they should have won. Both games, Kris watched with me. He's now forbidden from being around me when the Cowboys play. Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.

Following the Dallas game, was the Redskins game, which they also lost, so there was one bright speck on the football front. Kris and Tony didn't really stay for the second game, and were putzing around on the computer through most of it. We ordered Chinese for supper, and then watched some Dead Zone episodes that Tony had brought along, and then watched a few early Smallville episodes. They took two seasons with them to watch.

About 10:00, Kris and I went to bed (ie bedtimesexxyfun), Tony went to bed sometime later, I don't know. I do know I spent much of last night next to Kris, his arm around me, mine around him, cuddling or spooning, and I had an incredible night of sleep. It took me a few times to get used to having someone else in the bed with me sleeping, but now I think it'll feel weird NOT having him there.

Anyway, this morning, we got up at 6:30 because I had to get a flu shot at work at 7:30. Getting up at 6:30 on my day off...that sucks! That's earlier than when I get up when I HAVE to work. They rode along and sat in the car while I got the shot. I know a few coworkers saw two 20 year old guys sitting in my car at 7:30 in the morning...I'm sure that provided a lot of gossip for the office grapevine. Whatever.

Then I took them to Denny's for the promised breakfast, just a day late. I then dropped them off at their apartment, getting a goodbye kiss from Kris. We won't see each other until Wednesday after work.

But instead of going home, as I had thought I was going to, I went shopping! I got gas, went to Sam's, the mall, KMart, Hallmark and the grocery store. And upon returning home, I did two loads of laundry, ran the dishwasher, and cleaned the kitchen sink Yeah, I don't know what got into me either. But lack of sleep and getting up early has kicked my ass. I don't believe I'll be up late this evening.

Naturally, I got a few photos. Not many, but a few:


Well, Kris actually took this photo with my camera. After the shower after the bedtimesexxyfun, he didn't want to wear the same shirt he had on all day, so I gave him one of mine: the Flash symbol t-shirt. Being a comic book geek (sorta) he could appreciate it. And this is the first time that anyone I've dated has been able to wear my clothes!


After eating we went to pick up Tony. This is Kris in their apartment, still wearing the Flash shirt!


Sunday night, Kris and Tony watched Smallville.


When we left to get the Chinese, I snapped this one.

POLT

Dating, when i'm with them, it's only you i see...

Tonight, I had a date with Don.

We had dated (re: became friends with benefits) back in 2008 for a few months. There were issues, mainly that I had, and so it came to an end. Last month, Don emailed me and we got it set up so that we'd meet today, after work, at Borders to talk over coffee.

I got to Borders about 4:00 even though we said to meet there at 4:30. And as I waited and wandered around looking at books and such, I got SO nervous. Nervous, anxious, worried..and i don't have the slightest clue why. I was working myself up so that I was beginning to get a headache.

And then I saw him walk in, see me and smile. And I couldn't help but smile back, and the headache, tension and worry disappeared! Poof! Like magic.

We said hi and he put his hand out for a shake, but I was like, no, I pulled him into a quick hug, which he returned. And what was the first thing he said to me? "You've lost a LOT of weight, and damn, you look good." Aww... And the first thing I noticed about him? Damn did he smell good. I have no idea what the cologne was, but it was rocking!

I suggested we go to TGIFriday which was nearby, gets some appetizer to share and talk in a booth there, as there'd be a bit more privacy than in Borders. And so we did. And over the Friday's 3-For-All and sodas, we talked.

I first off thanked him for coming and agreeing to talk to me and then I apologized for the way I handeld the end of it, which really was my fault and cowardly. I handled it like a big prick. And told him so. He gracefully accepted the apology.

And then we had an awesomely easy and smooth conversation with no awkward pauses that I was worried about. he asked about the house, so I told him. In fact, I think I talked a LOT. It was such a relief to see how well everything was going I was talking fast and furious, like Sassy josh on a mix of speed AND cocaine.

We went over some of the issues we had previously, which were still in existance. I made sure he understood I wasn't terribly good at relationships and could be VERY selfish, both in a relationship and in general. He reminded me that I had told him that before (not that I remembered doing so) and that he was here talking with me anyway. He said we both had issues we'd have to deal with, but we could talk about them and maybe come to a resolution. And even if nothing else happened right away, he said that we connect on so many levels (which we do) that we can still be friends and enjoy things like movies, and comic books and shit until we get those issues resolved.

He said he was talking to a girlfriend, and she was mentioning her commitment-phobic boyfriend of six years, and then she asked if maybe I was Don's Jason (her boyfriend). He said he didn't know, but that wasn't going to stop him from seeing me again, and that that was something we could work on.

It was a thoroughly enjoying and dare I say it, magical evening, even though it was only about an hour and half long. And we made semi-defintely plans for him to come see the house next week and for us to talk some more. Here, where there's even more privacy. (at one point, he put his hands on top of mine while saying something, and afterwards, he looked over my shoulderand smiled and said we had an audience. A couple of ladies were watching. Pfft, whatever...)

And outside, as we went to leave he said, "I wanted to tell you this inside, and then I wasn't sure if I was going to or not, but now I will. I thought you were hot before. Now I see you're truly smoking." Corny, sure it was! But it made me blush and I squee-ed out loud inside my head.

So, I don't know where if anywhere this is going. As I said, we still have some of the same issues going on that we had back in 2008. But whatever, we'll take this wherever it takes us and see. And isn't that more than half the fun?

POLT Listening to "Alex Clinton" by The Replacements

"Don't be nervous." "If my heart rate were any slower, I'd be dead." - Brian, Queer As Folk

And the friends tom once knew so well...

In November 1995, I started dating my second boyfriend (and this story has no surprise freaky sexual fetish in it, so if you're looking for that, move along). His name was Tom, he was about my height, but a big guy, not really fat, just, big. Like a large rugby player, and he was black.

I was at HeadQuarters, another gay bar in Hagerstown that since has shut down. I don't recall exactly how it happened, but I remember his friend, whose name I have since forgotten, came to me and talked to me first. I don't remember what he said, but he apparently told me Tom was interested in me or something. Due to what I was planning on doing, I was laughing to myself. Tom was standing next to the bar, talking with a friend. I walked right up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, I said, "I want to kiss you. Right now." He kind of stammered, "okay" and then I put my hands on either side of his head, pulled him to me and plastered a long, hard, wet, tongue and all kiss on him. Much to his friend's laughter and delight. And I presume his as well.

At any rate, after this, we went on a few dates, to see a few movies, and out to eat once. Coincidentally, he lived in Winchester VA as well...the same place Nathan (diaper man) was from. But unlike Nathan, Tom had a car, and we met in Hagerstown or Martinsburg, WV, both inbetween our homes. I recall after one movie, we sat in his car and talked, and kissed, and played with one another...but nothing else sexual happened.

There's a horseracing racetrack in Charleston WV, and Tom worked in the restaurant of a hotel in town. New Year's that year, he asked me to come down and spend it with him, and I did. I got there about 9:00, but he was still working behind the bar, so I sat at the bar and waited. And listening to the Top 100 Country Videos on tv...thrill that that was.

In fact, he left me sitting at the bar while he went off to do something else. And frankly, it pissed me off. Sometime after 10:30, he came back, with two of his friends and co-workers, a girl and a guy. We stood there and talked for a bit. There was a party going on elsewhere in one of the hotel's ballroom, a large, fancy, invite only affair. But the three of us walked right in. We had some drinks, and tried to look like we belonged there, but we were clearly underdressed. And while all this was kinda fun, I was still a little pissed cause I was hoping to spend New Years with Tom, and it appeared we were just going to spend it with his friends. Which is okay, but not the romantic time I was expecting.

WE left the party and returned to the bar, and that's where we were when it became 1998. And I was frankly none to happy, and I was not terribly good at hiding it. But the new year was no more than 5 minutes old when Tom said his goodbyes to his friends, and ushered me out the door and to one of the hotel rooms. He had gotten this one, and got it all set up for us. It was warm, candles were lit, and there was a bottle of chilled champagne, and strawberries and melted chocolate. And we sipped the bubbley, and fed each other chocolate dipped strawberries, and then had awesome earth shattering, toe curling, wake the neighbors sex. It was quite intense.

In the middle of the night, though, his snoring woke me up. I know I snore, but his snoring was like rattling the windows. I got out of the bed we shared and crawled into the other one. And put a pillow over my head. And but the blankets over that. And it didn't help. Eventually, I just threw my pillow at him, and hit him. And he stopped. I was too lazy to get up to get the pillow, so I just laid there, and was almost asleep when he started snoring again.

It was sometime in January (again, just like with Nathan) that Tom and I split up. His snoring had nothing to do with it. Basically, it was the distance between us. And the fact neither of us had a place we could go back to, neither of our living situations was condusive to bringing a guy home. It was an amacable split.

POLT Listening to "Flathead" by The Fratellis

"Why do guys have a prostate anyway?" "Why, it's obviously every man's happy spot!" - MSTP Bound

Nathan, hold on, i got something to say...

My first real boyfriend was Nathan. We met in October 1993, the night that daylights savings ended. I remember that because we had an extra hour that night to get to know each other.

I was 25, he was a year or two older. We met at the local (in fact only) gay bar. I remember I was on the dance floor in the hot, sweaty gyrating mass of humanity gathered there, and I saw this really hot guy dancing off near the side. I kept him in sight even when I left the dance floor to get a beer from the bar. And as I drank it, he came over towards me, another guy with him. They introduced themselves we talked a bit before the guy I noticed first left, leaving me with his friend, who was Nathan.

Nathen was about 5'9 or so, and lean. He had blonde very curly hair that he wore long in the style of the time. He also had some acne scars, but they weren't a deal breaker. Nathan wasn't as cute as his friend, the guy I saw first. But unlike his friend, Nathan was interested in me. So we spent the remainder of the long night talking, drinking, toughing hands, arms, etc, and kissing.

Nathan lived about an hour's drive away from me. And he didn't have either a car or a license. This really wasn't a big deal, though, cause I was still living at home, so it's not like we could have done anything here anyway.

He had a roommate that had his own bedroom. His roommate was straight and not at all interested in meeting me. I don't think we ever did meet, other than in passing, he was frequently away at his girlfriend's place. That was a little strange. Also, when I took a shower there for the first time, i asked about a washcloth. he said they didn't have any, just towels. Which, since I had grown up with washcloths, struck as entirely strange. Inronically, now, I don't use washclothes either. But I digress....

Nathan was a recovering alcoholic, and he wanted me to go with him to one of his AA meetings. I did. We got to the church and went in and there was probably twenty or so people there. Not everyone talked, so I didn't feel like I stood out, but I wasn't terribly comfortable. I felt like an intruder, a voyeur. I mean, I wasn't alcoholic, and here these people were pouring their hearts out, to the affirmations of others who could understand what they were saying. But I couldn't. It was awkward, but i tried not to let on to Nathan, I just tried to be supportive.

After the meeting, we went to a Chinese restaurant where some of his friends were getting together. There was perhaps ten of us there. Everyone was very friendly, welcoming, and accepting. Nathan sat on one side of me and the woman on the other side asked questions of me all night. Not like an inquisition, but just because she seemed genuinely curious about Nathan's boyfriend. It was clear she cared deeply about him. In fact, it was clear they all did, and seemed excited for him that he was dating someone, and that I wasn't dodgey or anything.

Sex between us was, surprisingly, not a priority. We did not have sex every time we were together. I wanted to, but didn't want to push the issue, and he didn't bring it up that much. Or when I did bring it up, he would say he jsut wanted to cuddle. And since he was a damn good cuddler, I didn't mind.

I went to his apartment for New Years Eve 1993. He had two friends over, and we drank and had pizza and had a good time. After they left, we went to bed, got naked, and cuddled a bit. Then he said he had something he wanted to show me, and left the room. I was a bit nervous because I didn't know what he was going to show me, but I was excited as well, because I figured it was sexual. And I was more excited than I was nervous.

Until he walked back in the room. Wearing a diaper. And sucking on a pacifier. No, seriously, he did. Stop laughing, cause this isn't a comedy bit. I was truly shocked and disturbed. It was 1993, remember, the Interwebs were, no pun intended, in it's infancy. You couldn't just pop online and see or read about any kind of fetish you could imagine.

I had never heard of adults wearing diapers for sexual purposes, and frankly, it freaked me the hell out. But he crawled into bed and on top of me and was snuggling up against me, telling me (after removing the pacifier obviously) how understanding I was and how great it was that I didn't like scream at him and run out of the room. Although, honestly, that thought had crossed my mind.

But I liked Nathan. Did I love him? No, but I cared for him. And I could see that this took a lot for him to reveal to me, and I really did want to be understanding and supporting. I was calm, but on the inside, I was freaking out. If this is what he was into sexually, well, it was boggling my mind how we'd go about having sex. I was NOT wiping his ass and changing his diaper. And this explained why he wasn't really into the sex we did have.

Although that night, at that time, he was up, ready, and raring to go. I said the only thing I could think of using, the flimsy excuse that I had had too much to drink, and had a headache and was very tired. Shortly thereafter, we went to sleep. Or rather, he did. I stayed awake more of the night, trying to figure this out. It took all I had not to attempt to sneak out. But I did care for him, and wanted to be with him, and date him, I mean, I was having fun with him.

But after I got home the next day, well, I still couldn't come to terms with it. We talked on the phone several times after that, but I never saw him again. And before the end of January, we were officially seperated. I never made it official or anything, I just stopped answering his calls, or when I did, made excuses to hang up. And after about ten days of this, I think he finally picked up on it, and stopped calling.

I still feel bad sometimes about how I cowardly ended it, that I couldn't just man up and tell him I wasnted it over. But I just could NOT wrap my head around him wanting to wear a diaper. And that is how my first relationship ended. Not an auspicious beginning, eh?

POLT Listening to "The Man That Got Away" by Judy Garland

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! - Calvin & Hobbes