It will be, every day in the life of a fool...

Last year, starting on January 1st, I attempted to take a photo of myself everyday. I missed a day here and there, and when my desktop died in August, I lost the first half of that month's photos. But by and large, I got one every day.

I've got some friends in some of the photos with me as well. And I've got some commemorating some of the big events in my 2009: my trips to Toronto and NYC, photos in the new house, the day of the Inauguaral and AJ's suicide, and the time I was deathly ill with the flu.

Unfortunately, I forgot to add a soundtrack of music to it before I saved it, so I'd suggest you put some music on before you start it so you have something to listen to. I've set it up so that each day's photo is up for roughly a second (give or take), and so that come up to a little less than 6 minutes of video.

So if you've got 6 minutes to waste, and some music playing nearby, click below and watch me work my way through 2009, one day at a time.



POLT Listening to "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones

Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is. - Gov. George W. Bush, on the Kosovo campagin, 2000

Let's get unconscious, honey (Part 194)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Furniture :: Store
Beauty :: Shop
Sip :: Coffee
Block :: Head
Forehead :: Pimple
Championship :: Ring
Hurl :: Vomit
Whip :: It good!
Destruction :: Explosion
Leather :: And lace

POLT Listening to "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden

Too many times, religion mothers crimes and wickedness. - Lucretius

Murphy's law will get ya, he's on his way...

Murphy's Law is alive and in full effect.

I heard there was a chance we could get snow Friday night into Saturday morning. I got up to go to work Saturday morning and looked outside and saw no snow. I've been wearing this black shows to work all week, they have a thick sole, but they make my feet sweat. So i thought, "today, I'll just wear my good pair of brown shoes, just to be different, since it's not snowing."

As I'm driving to work, I realized my car insurance was due yesterday, and I forgot to pay it. I thought to myself, "I can pay it Monday morning, that won't be a problem, but I'll have to make sure I'm extra careful today and don't get into an accident. At least it's not snowing."

.......yeah.....

About 11:30 in the morning today, it started snowing. Great, just great.

So as I'm going to my car, and I remember, I've left my gloves IN the car. I don't want to get snow inside the car, so I have to use my bare hand to brush the snow off the top of the car door and down it's side. What a great feeling that is. Then, as I'm shaking my hand to get the snow and water off, my ring flies off my hand. I hear it hit the car next to me, rebound off, and that's it. Can't see it anywhere. A silver ring in an inch and a half of snow. Oh yeah, great day so far.

I clean the car off, walking through the snow that covers my shoes and lets the snow leak inside my shoes giving me wet socks for the ride home. The only real good part is that I stepped on the ring and crushed all the snow on it down around it. And then I saw it and pulled it up and out of the snow (thinking as I did so how Gollum would hiss "my presssssiousssss").

Well, I guess the other good thing was I made it home without a bit of trouble. Got Miss Cleo home and parked safely. Didn't even slip while walking through the snow with shoes with no traction. I guess, in the end, it wasn't such a bad deal after all. But the time, it sure felt like anything that could go wrong, was.

POLT Listening to "Stockholm Syndrome" by Muse

This isn't gonna have a happy ending, ya know? It's not possible. - Someset, Se7en

My baby's got a secret (Part 146)...

Secret Saturdays

These come each week from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/.




POLT Listening to "Then" by The Charltans UK

They'll let you keep spare tires but no cats? - Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 202)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Fully Clothed Kissing (which you'd be surprised how difficult it is to find photos of!)




POLT Listening to "Hella Good" by No Doubt

"There's a Navy base ahead." "Ooo, can we go find some seamen?" "No, I'll have plenty of semen for you later." - my ex, Freddie

Take it to the runway (Part 15)...

"The Hi's And Lows Of Fashion"

Now, with added Chazz!

Thank GOD almighty, we're free at last! Ping went home, and she didn't drag poor adorable Jesse with her!

I did not like Mila's outfit. I mean it wasn't horrible or anything, there were several worse than that. It looked like a sports outfit, something a grandmother might wear. My favorite was...I forgot to write it down, but it was a grey dress, form fitted very nicely done.

Unfortunately, I was doing something else as I was watching this, so I have no notes or anything, and this is all I got. I'll turn it over to Dave S.:

Ping Ping Ping. Why must you torment my Jesse with your inept sewing skills and your bizarre and inefficient design process? Oh, how I lament Jesse's inability to successfully bash you in the creative skull.

Oh, wait. I guess the judges decided to do that for him.

Nothing on the runway tonight was outstanding. Mila's outfit was clever and somewhat sheik and so I guess it should've won, but I wasn't all freakin' gaga over it or anything. But I didn't really hate anything either. Though my least favorite was probably Jesus and Amy's patchwork monstrosity. And the cheaper dresses were all pretty awful. I don't think I liked a single one.

Though the worst of the cheap dresses was definitely Ping and Jesse's. They spent $50 on that? I think I could've found it for $5.99 at the thrift store down the street.

Sorry, Jesse! Loveyoumeanit, but that was just yuck. But luckily you survived and Ping didn't!
Yaaaayyy!!

And now we hear a younger opinion, as Dave S.'s son Chazz (I know it's spelled with only one Z, but two Z's are snazzier!):

Chaz: Ping's a creatively stuck-up bitch. Go home already!!! Go back to wherever you live and be "eccentric" there and spare us from it on our weekly runway!

Short, sweet, and oh so accurate! Glad to have you aboard, Chazzman!

And next week, meltdowns of Chernobyl porportions, everyone's freaking out and good bosoms.

POLT Listening to "Heat Of The Moment" by Asia

That's what the Internet is for, slandering people anonymously. - Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Parts 197 & 198)...

Last Wednesday, I was sick and feeling like crap last week, so I didn't have the motivation nor inclination to get an HNT then. So this week I'm doing two, one for last week and one for this week.


And they're kinda the same thing. I was shopping in Wal-Mart (don't judge), and I noticed these hanging on a rack. They screamed my name, demanding that I buy them. I was a bit unsure because, well, they weren't really...'me'. And one of them wasn't in my size. But in the end, I knew it was futile to resist them, as I knew I'd have to have them. So here we go, me and my recent purchases:


The Superman ones are the ones a size too small, hence the....larger appearance there. Less fabric means larger package...and more discomfort. Oh, the lenghts we'll go to for our superhero undies.

To see what others put up this week, click http://osbasso.blogspot.com/

POLT Listening to "The Times They Are A-Changin'" by Bob Dylan

Talk, or I'll let air all the way into your spinal column, darling. - Emma Frost, X-Men Annual 2001

We were greek gods, we were singled out by fate...

Earlier in the week, my mom's sister's husband's mother died. She was 97. And unfortunately, I don't know her name. I always called her what they always called her: Yaya.

She and her husband emigrated from Greece sometime prior to WWII. They settled here, he eventually opened a laundramat in town and operated until he retired in the 1980's. I remember both of them, he with his white tight wavy hair, she small with dark-as-night ebony hair. Even into old age. He spoke passable Engligh, she less so. Her kids could understand her well enough, her grandkids and the rest of us not so much.

When my cousin got married ten years ago, or so, I was an usher in his wedding, along with another cousin of mine and the bride's brother. When Yaya came in with her daughter and family, neither one of the other ushers wanted to take her to her seat because she was so small and fragile, they were afraid they'd break her. So I took her arm and put it in mine and led her out into the church. Here I was, 6'1", nearly 300 lbs (at that time), leading this lady who was perhaps 4'9" tall and might have weighed 90 lbs with her pockets stuffed full of lead.

And as we're walking, she's chattering away. I have no idea what she was saying, but I kept nodding and saying, "Yeah, Yaya. Sure Yaya. It's just a little further, Yaya." I did understand one full sentence. In heavily accented English she said, "Maybe you be soon too, Kreeees?" Which i took to mean maybe I'd be married soon too. I just nodded and said, "I'm sure, Yaya."

My mom and aunt and cousins still laugh about that whole scene. And it's my fondest memory of Yaya, God rest her soul.

POLT Listening to "The Beach" by New Order

A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion! - Emmett, Queer As Folk

Cut their hair, wear shirts and boots (Part 111)...

Wife Beater Wednesday

This week's theme: Red.






POLT Listening to "Where It's At" by Sublime

Smart bombs and dumb politicans do not a happy marriage make. - General Alexander, Supreme Power #15

I might like you better if we slept together....

Just in case anyone cares, THIS post is no longer a concern (well I guess it never was for you, but it certainly was for me). A "friend" came over this evening and this issue is now taken care of for 2010. I don't have to worry about being virginal again until January 1, 2011!

POLT Listening to "Let's Go To Bed" by The Cure

Sex is the only thing worse living for. - Robert Mapplethorpe

Haiku

Apathy, ennui

Wrapped in their hazy embrace.

*SIGH* Wish I could care.

POLT Listening to "Baba O'Riley" by The Who

Resolv'd to sing no songs to-day but those of manly attachment. - Walt Whitman

An Utterance, information, don't mince words

TMI Tuesdays

These come each week from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)? Usually they're not that long, 5-10 minutes tops. And I'm thinking about whatver video may be playing on XTube, or Gayforit, or Male Tubes, or what have you, at the time.
2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating? Yeah, by mom once. I was like 16 or so. She walked in on me. Que Awkward Robot Dance.
3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure? Yes. Mostly for my own enjoyment, but since I have a webcam, and some Asian friends in Indonesia and the Phillippines (among other places) who like doing the same thing, some of the time it's been for someone else.
4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed? I was never at a party specifically for masturbation, but I've been in places where there was groups of people involved in various sexual activites in view of other people. And some of those activities were masturbation, so the answer is yeah. And it was always same-sex.
5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Usually the former, although I've done the latter on occasion.
6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now? No, I've never done that.
Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never. Rarely, I hope. However much it is, I use it too frequently. Especially when involved in a really good sex act.

POLT

A lazy weekend is now foretold....

Friday night, after work, I went to Hershey PA to watch the Hershey Bears play the Manitoba Moose. I went with some guys from work, I think there were well over two dozen of us there. We normally go to DC to see the Caps play a game once or twice a year. But with the Caps doing so well this season, we have trouble getting tickets, and they're more expensive this year as well. The Bears tickets were only $13. And it was $1 Hot Dog Night, so that was an extra bonus!

And I had a blast, With the Bears winning 8-3, there was lots of cheering to be had. I'm not really into hockey, I don't follow any team or anything. But I like going to the games for the atmosphere. For the cheering, and the yelling; I get all wrapped up in it with the crowd. And for $13 bucks, and $1 hot dogs, its well worth it.

Then Saturday after work, I met my buddy Michelle and we had supper at a local Mexican restuarant. We hadn't actually talked since before Christmas, so we had a lot of stuff to catch up on. And the food was particularly outstanding that night. But the company was even more so.

And then Sunday evening, the lovely Virginia came up to watch the playoffs with me. It has been since like September that I've gotten to hang out with her. So we sat here, watching the games, and caught up. We also dined on pizza delivered by a cute guy. The night before, Virginia had worked a gathering at the museum she works at, and it was catered. She she brought a bottle of Pinot Grigio (sp?) from there as well as some desserts given to her by the French chef who was doing the catering. They were chocolate mousse inside a chocolate flower shaped shell. I don't know what they were officially called, but they were insanely good. And done by an actual for-real French chef. Porbably the snobbiest desert I'm gonna have for quite a long time. But that too was awesome.

Then, this morning, Michelle and I were supposed to go to Gettysburg to do some shopping, but as I lay in bed, it was cold and I could hear the rain being blown against the windows and I just didn't feel like getting up and going out into the damp, wet, windy, rainy day. And then Michelle texted me saying basically the same thing. So I texted her back and rolled over and went back to sleep. It was a great morning to do that.

Unfortunately, I slept in until almost 1:00. I love sleeping in, but I HATE doing it so long like that. Feels like I lost a whole day. BLECH. When I finally got out of bed, I felt like I was off kilter, like my head was full of cobwebs, and I had no motivation to change that. I didn't want to do anything, but I didn't want to do nothing either. BLECH.

So i showered, and then walked up to The Waynesburger to get something to eat. The sun broke through the clouds on the way there, so it kinda helped to see some actual for-real sunlight. i ordered the regular burger, fries and coke. (even though I had Pepsi at home, I much prefer fountain drinks!) And as the guy handed me my bag of food, he said he put a bowl of soup in for free for me to try. It was lentel soup. I thank him and smiled all the way home. How nice. I'd never hed lentel soup before, wasn't even sure what it was. It didn't taste all the bad, although I doubt I'd order it again. Just wasnt my thing.

And now I'm sitting here, bored and unmotivated. *SIGH* Hoping I can get to sleep at a decent hour somehow this evening so I can get up on time to get to work. Oh, the life of lazy bum, what angst you cultivate.

POLT Listening to "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol

Prison isn't all that different from a niught club: everything is free, and I don't have to get out of bed in the morning and I can get all the drugs and sex I want. - Michael Alig, Party Monster

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 236)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys In Caps






POLT Listening to "Pokerface" by Lady GaGa

Oh, dear, honey, who dressed you, Morticia Addams? - Emmett, Queer As Folk

You are my encyclopedia, let me take you home and read ya...

Speaking of reading (see post below), yesterday I got a box from Amazon.com in the mail. I had ordered three more Torchwood books to read. I've read 11 of them so far and now have 4 more to read. But I got something else as well. Try not to SQUEE on your keyboard as you view this:


Yes, yes indeed it IS the Torchwood encyclopedia, with everything Torchwood up to and including "The Children Of Earth" AND the audio only episodes. No need for you to tell me, I can feel your envy pulsing at me through teh Interwebs.

POLT Listening to the Jets-Colts football game

Paranoia's just reality on a finer scale. - Strange Days

Men reading fashion magazines, oh...

I love to read. This should come as noe surprise to anyone who reads this blog. I've been a reader for as long as I can remember.

I was buying comic books when I was 7 years old with my allowance. I remember being younger than that and over the summer, mom would walk with me down to the local library and we'd check out a book or two and bring them home and I'd read them in a week and then we'd go next week and get some more. Hell, I remember being really small and not yet able to read really good myself, and when we'd get back from church and eat lunch, mom would sit me on her lap and read the Sunday funnies to me. I also remember her sometimes starting to drfit off to sleep while doing so and having to nudge her to wake her up to keep reading to me.

My mom never really had time to read, although now that she's retired, she does read a lot more, maybe four or five books a year. My dad never read anything other than the local paper each afternoon. I bought him a book about the Baltimore Orioles (it was his favorite team) one year for Christmas and another year I bought him a book by Hulk Hogan (he loved "rasslin"), but I never saw him crack either book open. My dad's mom read voraciously. She'd go through a book from the library a day when she was older. My mom's mom only ever read the National Enquirer while standing in the grocery line.

Not only do I read comic books, but I read novels and fiction as well. Historical books, scifi, superhero, gay storylines, Star Trek, mideval fantasy...those are my favorite type of books to read.

Do you read? And if so, how much? And what topics interest you?

POLT Listening to the Jets-Colts football game

The only people who love a war are those who have never fought in one. - Major Quigley, Breakthroughs: The Great War

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 193)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Food :: Hungry
Death :: Sprial
Cafeteria :: Lady
Need :: Want
Born :: To be wild
Stitch :: Cross
Badly :: Poorly
Blocks :: Football
Chuck :: Spy
Spiral :: Circles

POLT Listening to the silence in his house

No one of higher station looks closely at such people (well queers do, but queers look at everybody). - An Arrow's Flight

My baby's got a secret (Part 145)...

Secret Saturday

These come each week from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. Stop by and enjoy a bunch more each week there!

This week's theme....um, should become obvious as soon as you read them.




POLT Listening to "Avalon" by Roxy Music

Nation building begins at home.

Oh and the shit, shock, horror, you've seen...

First a Republican's gonna be sitting in Teddy's seat. Then Ping manages to somehow stay on Project Runway despite her saddlebags and ass flaps. And now THIS:

"According to a new research out of the UK, men who have frequent sex in their twenties and thirties were at a greater risk of developing prostate cancer later in life. What's even more unusual is that researchers showed that young men who masturbated frequently, as opposed to those who have sex frequently with a partner, were at an even greater risk of developing prostate cancer."

What more could go wrong? Will a meteor crash into the Atlanitc Ocean? Will the BBC shut down BBCAmerica? Will Lady GaGa reveal herself to be actually P!nk is disguise all this time? Will the Cloverfield moster drag us all to hell? WHAT ???

POLT

SOme boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 201)...

Frenching Fridays

Last week Tam left a comment saying "Some friends and I have determined that the new hotness is the "almost kiss" as depicted in said photo. VERY hot." and then she put a link to this lil beauty:


Since I agree with Tam, and her friends, I've decided to make this week's theme the "Almost Kiss" Kiss. Now Tam, and her friends, and us as well, can enjoy the hotness!





POLT Listening to "With A Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles

Man's creativity expands geometrically to his greed. - Law & Order

Take it to the runway (Part 14)...

Bringing back an old favorite, I give you....


First a shot of all the new designers:

Minus the first one (thankfully) kicked off:

Okay, since I didn't get a chance to do this last week, I'm going to offer some opinions on the designers:

Anthony: Flaming (hell, he's an conflagration!), but do-able.
Ben: Cute, despite the nose.
Emilo: Not cute, but not Quasimodo either.
Jay: Asianly cute.
Jesse: Cute in a Christian Bale kinda way.
Jesus: Divinely cute.
Jonathan: Stubblyish cute-ish.
Seth Aaron: No. No, no. No. Gotta stop dressing like he's 20 years younger than he is.

And now, onto the show: "The Fashion Farm" Make an outfit out of a burlap sack.

Okay, my three favorite dresses were by Amy, Mila and surprisingly by Janeane as well. my favorite was Mila's. I'm not at all bothered by the judge's decision, cause Jay's dress really did look good with the feathery-ness of it.

My three least favorite were Ping ("ass flap" and saddlebags), Seth Aaron (a hoddy? Really? And was that a lamp shade he had on her as a skirt?) and Pamela (Looked a little bland to me). My least favorite was Ping's. I wasn't terribly upset at the judges decision, although I thought Ping's was worse and I Pamela seemed like a nice person.

And now, onto Dave S.'s comments:

Okay, Ping is just about on my last nerve. She just comes off as arrogant. Yuck. And her design sucked pondwater bigtime.

Jesse on the other hand is hot.

That's all. He's just, y'know...hot. I don't even remember what he designed this week. :-P

Okay, skipping the minimal drama, which isn't even worth mentioning, I gotta move to the runway. The judges for once seemed to pick the right ones for the top three. I felt Amy's was the best. I felt it answered the challenge the best -- there was no disguising of the burlap, no fancy extra things to distract from the fact that it was a basic fabric she built it out of. Yet it was stunning. Sure, Mila and Jae created great dresses, but Amy's was the most bold. The one that took the biggest risk (amongst the top three anyway). But in the end Jae won, and I wasn't hugely disappointed or surprised. His was pretty sweet.

But the bottom three were definitely bottom three. Yuck. Ping's was just awful. Easily the ugliest design I have ever seen on Project Runway. Good lord, *Cher* wouldn't have worn that thing. It was hideous. And I tire of her. I'm *already* upset about next week's episode where her and Jesse are shown working together. Or trying. Because she certainly wouldn't want to do things like someone else! Heaven's no! Compromise in order to successfully work with another designer that may do things in an organized and designerly way? Egad! Because she's "different," you know. She thinks about things on "a different level". Whatever. Get over yourself. And next week, you better not fuck with my Jesse, bitch.

Where was I...? Oh, right. Yeah. Jesus stayed and Pamela got booted. Which was a complete shock. I was completely expecting Jesus to get Heidi's 5-inch heals planted firmly in his little behind as he went sailing out the PR door. But no, it was Pamela and her yucky-butted monstrosity. Though it was a *hell* of a lot better than Ping's. Ping's was by far the worst on the runway.

Oh, and is it just me, or is Tim Gunn getting a bit sassy this season? Love it!

And I'll finish by saying I am in total and completel agreement with Dave S. and his assessment of Jesse.

POLT Listening to "No Excuses" by Alice In Chains

"Most sinners are in denial." "I am NOT in denial!" "See what I mean?" - Eddie, Teen Titans #35

cashed my winnings in long ago, settled for silver...

So, after last weekends NFL predictions, it turns out me and one other guy were left in the Loser's Pool at work. And be both decided, instead of going on, to just split the winnings! So I walked out of there today with $210 in my pocket! See, here's a photo!


This is cool not only cause who doesn't like a little extra $200 every so often, but, I need it to recoup my losses: $10 in the Winner's Pool, $25 bucks in the Playoff pool, $10 in the Loser's Pool, $20 (so far) on the Super Bowl boxes thingee, and $10 on the Biggest Loser pool. I'm still in the Playoff Pool ( Go, JETS!), and I won't know if I've won the Super Bowl thingee until the game, but I lost the Winner's Poll. And one of the other guys in the Biggest Loser has already lost 15 pounds! In two and half weeks! So I go no shot in HELL at winning that. But with $75 in expenditures, and $210 in winnings (so far) I'm $135 ahead of the game. Sweet.

POLT Listening to "I'm Alright" by Lindsay Buckingham

I haven't posted much today cuase it's been a rough day. It involved headaches, projectile puking, poopies, body and joint aches (even my fingers!), shivering, sweating, a lot of laying on the sofa watching crap on TV, and not eating.

Eventually, I managed to get some crackers to stay down. And then I took some Advil to help with the pains. After that, I steadily felt better, eventually eating a can of chicken corn soup and getting back online here for a bit. I'm sure I'll get back to work tomorrow and get back to posting tomorrow as well.

Hope all of you are well.

POLT

To knock on the lavatory door, accusing me of ruining the fun...

So this morning and afternoon Mom came down and helped me around the house with some things and then we went to do some shopping for some things I needed (curtains, bedsheets, wastebasket, runners, etc, etc, etc). And as always, its always an adventure when one goes anywhere with Mama Polt.

The shopping itself was rather uneventful, other than we didn't get everything we needed. But we also decided to eat while we were out. We finished eating and were sitting there ready to go and she said she had to use the bathroom. I pointed over her shoulder showing her where they were. There was a small alcove with two door on either side going to the bathrooms.

She got up, I leaned back to easier scope out one hot young black guy with an ass to make JLo sit up and notice, who was there with his wife/gf and their adorable baby, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw something.

I swung my head around just in time to see mom's back going into the MEN'S ROOM! I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing hysterically. I expected her to come running back out when she figured it out, like maybe as soon as she saw the urinal! But she didn't come out.

The doors faced each other, I was perpendiuclar to them, so I couldn't acutally see the doors. But I knew that was the men's room, I had used it at that restaurant before myself. Perhaps, I thought, they switched the rooms, even though that seemed unlikely. I got up and took a step over to see, and yep, there was a sign with the man sillouette on it and the word MEN underneath it. So I just sat there, laughing into my hand so hard I was crying. I thought perhaps I should to and prevent any other guy from going in. But thought better of it. How funny would that be if it happened?

After a short while she came out and was smiling a bit.

Mom: Why didn't you tell me -
Polt: Yeah? *giggle*
Mom: That I needed to comb my hair before we left?
Polt: *doubletake* What?
Mom: I saw it in the mirror, it's a mess.
Polt: *double doubletake* What?
Mom: My hair. It's a mess.
Polt: .......Mom, was anything strange in the bathroom?
Mom: No, why?
Polt: Nothing strange, like a urinal or something?
Mom: Why would there be a urinal in the ladies room?
Polt: You weren't in the ladies room.
Mom: Of course I was.
Polt: No, you weren't.
Mom:*questioning look* That wasn't the ladies room?
Polt: *pointing over her shoulder* NO! It was the men's room!
Mom: *looking over her shoulder, then getting up and taking a step to see, realization flooding her face* That wasn't the ladies room!
Polt: Ya think?

Oh, her face turned red, and she laughed and laughed. She said she wondered why the seat was up on the toilet, but she just put it down and did her business. And she swore she didn't see a urinal, even though I know there's urinal's in there!

I told that apparently she's reached the age where she can't be trusted to go to the bathroom alone in public. But the whole incident led to so much laughing, and crying, on her part, she had to pee again before we left. And thankfully THIS time, she used the ladies room!

POLT Listening to "I Fought The Law" by the Clash

Look, I'm 40, I'm single, and I work in musical theater - you do the math. What do you need, flash cards? - Nathan Lane

An utterance, information, don't mince words (Part 169)...

TMI Tuesdays

These come from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. Ideal amount of sex per week? Alone: 15 times a week. With someone: 5 or 6 times a week. probably not all during the same week, though. Maybe when I was younger, but now, at 42, nope I don't think so.
2. Ever had an online affair? I'm not sure what this means. I've had 'affairs' with people I met online. There are a few guys in Indonesia I know from camming through Yahoo messenger and we play occasionally. If these count, then sure.
3. Are you a member of the mile high club? Nope. Only been on a plane like 4 times in my life and never had the opportunity.
4. Are you predjudice against any particular group of people? Yes. Close-minded, backwoods, redneck, ultra-conservative, judemental, Religious Right (who are actually neither truly religious, nor truly right), homophobic, wingnut Republicans. And unfortunately, there's a lot more of them out there than one would think.
5. What constitutes bad sex? I like the quote that reads, "Bad sex is still good sex cause it's sex."
Bonus (as in optional): Can females ejaculate? Honestly, I have no idea and I don't plan on ever being there to find out whether they can or not.

POLT Listening to "Running On Empty" by Jackson Browne

The leadership of the Republican Party are a bunch of sociopathic maniacs who had their lips super-glued to the ass of the conservative right. - Alec Baldwin

The more I laugh, the more i fill with glee...

Glee.


Yeah, what can I say that's not been said before?

I missed the premiere episose when it first aired last spring. I missed the re-airing of it last fall. And then, since I was behind already I didn't want to watch any of it until I could watch it all at once. This weekend the first disc arrived from Netflix. Due to NFL playoffs, I couldn't watch it until today.

This afternoon at roughly 2:30, I popped it in the VCR. And by 6:00, I had a copy of the entire first half of the first season in my hands. After watching the first four episodes, I NEEDED to see the rest of it. And right away. So I got myself ready, found a Wal-Mart gift card I didn't even know I had (SWEET!), drove right out there and bought it. And now I'm in the midst of a Glee-a-thon.

The show had me from the very first uttered line: "You think this is hard? Try water-boarding. That's hard." I've got a few comments: I'm only half way through, and I'm already tired of some storylines. I want the wife to just go away. She adds nothing to the mix. I want to see more of the 'secondary' characters. I know nothing about Tina except she's Asian and stutters. I don't even know the name of the wheelchair kid. I want to know more about the Asian 'pop and lock' dancer...mainly cause he's kinda cute. I know nothing about Mercedes background except her dad's a dentist. I mean, Fin and Rachel and Quinn and Puck are nice and all (especially Puck with his mohawk and pierced nipple and hard body and etc, etc, etc), but I want to hear more about the others. Maybe all this will change in future epsidoes, at least I hope it does.

While some of the stuff veers clearly into totally unbelievable land, the writing is some of the funniest and crispest I've heard since The West Wing. Jane Lynch is a GEM in this show, love her! I've decided, after her guest appearance, that I now want to have Kristin Chenowith's children, as many as she wants to have; even naturally, without medication, should she so desire. And Will has some pretty awesome biceps.

Now, back to the show.

POLT Listening to "Glee"

Jesse Helms and Trent Lott, two of the finest minds of the 12th century. - Paul Begala

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 235)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Open Pants...And Nothing Underneath!






POLT Listening to "Hung" by Madonna

It is time for the Republicans in the Senate for once to put the interests of the United States ahead of the interests of the Republican Party. - Charley Reese, April 30, 2005

The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me...

I was reminded recently of just how awesome teh Interwebs actually are. Since the fall, when I'm online, either at work or here at home, I'm using listening to AOL Radio. They've got all these nifty individual channels that play specific music.

At this particular time, I had the Shuffle Channel on, which is, obviously, the channel where they don't have a genre, they just play a different song each time. So I had just heard "Unbelievable" by EMF and that was followed by "The Ballad Of John and Yoko" by John Lennon.

When I heard"Unbelievable" it brought back the memory of listening to it back in 1991, and not knowing what some of the lyrics were ("Your purple prose just gives you away"...what the HELL?) and my friends from England were visiting. So when they returned home, they sent me a letter with the lyrics included.

Contrast this with today: If one doesn't know the lyrics to a song, there's multiple websites one can get them from. And a letter! Who rights letters anymore in the age of emails?

And "The Ballad Of John And Yoko" took me back to roughly the same time period when a friend of mine and I were arguing if there was even a song called this. I was pretty sure i had heard the title at some point, but he was insisting there would never be anything as stupidly titled at that. So what was our solution? We called the local rock radio station, got the DJ and asked him (thankfully NOT on air) if there was such a song.

Contrast that with today: In less time than it takes me to type this sentence, I went to youtube and found a video of it.

Oh what did we do in the Dark Ages aka pre-Internet days?

POLT Listening to "Unbelievable" by EMF

It's hard to feel courageous in loose-fitting, drowsy-bear pajamas. - Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 192)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Weak :: Tea
Flashy :: Neon
Sack :: Potatos
Business :: Man
Purple :: LOVE IT!
Fan :: Cooling
Airline :: Ticket
Guide :: Tour
Lunch :: Break
Exercise :: No thank you

POLT Listening to "One" by U2

In the end, everybody dies alone. - Pricess Taffera, ER

In the land of plenty, crying about my own virginity...

VOBUQ over on his blog had a post that piqued my interest. He mentioned that he has this weird belief that one's virginity resets the beginning of each year, and that allows you to have a "first time" each and every year (just click on the link and read it yourself, he says it much better than I could ever hope to).

As I said, interesting concept. A smidge depressing, cause under this thinking, I'm still a virgin. Which to me is a somewhat unique experience. Kinda like before I had my first Big Mac, or before I lost my first tooth: I know this situation once existed, but it's been so long since it happened, I don't remember it. But still, I'm halfway through the first month of the year, and still a virgin.

I wanted to see if this was unusual or not, so I went back and checked. (and yes, I DO keep track of my sexual encounters. Have done so since 1998. Shut up, we all our own little pecadillos, don't judge) So this is date I lost my virginity for each year:

1998: January 3rd.
1999: January 1st (I had a boyfriend at that time)
2000:January 15th
2001: January 4th
2002: January 13th
2003: January 27th
2004: February 9th
2005: March 14th (I obviously did NOT have a boyfriend at that time)
2006: January 3rd
2007: January 3rd
2008: February 4th
2009: January 9th

So that's an average of 18.92 days into the new year for me to lose that year's viriginity, which makes me feel a bit better. UNTIL, I took out the two outlying numbers (the one on the 1st, and the one in March) and then the average is 15.20 days into the new year.

Which means to make it this year on the average, I need to get laid sometime today? Even though there's football playoffs on ALL evening.

Anyone feel like helping a brother out at about 11:30 or so tonight?

POLT Listening to the Cardinals-Saints football game

In America, anybody can become president, and that's just one of the risks you take. - Adlai Stevenson

My baby's got a secret (Part 144)...

Secret Saturdays

These are from http://postsecret.blogspot.com. Stop by there and check it out. This week's theme is Celebrities!




POLT Listening to "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain

I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. - Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta

Take my hamster to the beach, you make me wanna ...

fI was in a local Ollie's Bargain Oulet recently (they buy stuff in bulk and sell it at super cheap prices) and I always have to peruse the book section. There's no organization to it, but I can usually find some good deals. I mean, if I book's a dollar or two, I'll buy it. Even if I'm not interested in it, what am I out?

So whilst rummaging through that, I saw this:


And a smile immediately crossed my face, cause the first thing to pop into my mind was Richard Parker! I'll grant you, the little guy on the cover is kinda cute, but no one tops Richard Parker in the cuteness.

POLT Listening to "What I Got" by Sublime

If the models get any younger they'll be chucking fetuses down the catwalk. - Patsy Stone, Absolutely Fabulous

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 200)...

Frenching Fridays

No theme this week, just random liplockings.




POLT Listening to "Getting Better" by The Beatles

I'm fat, black, cranky and menopausal! You do NOT want to mess with me. - Amanda Waller, Suicide Squad #1

Tired and going to bed, but a quick Project Runway post.

Once more, my likes and dislikes are the polar opposites of the judges. I DETESTED Ping's...thing. I also didn't like Seth Aaron's at all! I did like Jesus's evening gown. I liked Anthony although I hated his dress, he's funny!

Thank GOD, the black chick went home. Her arrogance turned me off entirely. And Jesus was too cute to go the first week. I think the Asian guy's pretty cute too (d'uh), and the guy that was the pirate in his other job and wore the beret throughout the show. So they're my favorites to win.

I kid, I KID! I just want them to hang around for a bit so I can look at them some more. I don't have a favorite yet.

What did YOU think about the show?

POLT

PS
"Models Of The Runway"? No thank you. Listening to vapid size zero's whine about how rough their lifes are? Sorry, I got more important things to do. like sleep. Nite all.

Love's the funeral of hearts...

Over on Enrickyricardo'sblog earlier in the week, he posted about what he wanted his funeral to be like. And he, along with several commentors, made mention of the fact they've never been to an open casket funeral. This blew my mind, as that's pretty much ALL I've been to!

I come from a large family (pap was the oldest of 7, grandma 2nd oldest of like 7 or 8, and they all have kids, grandkids and great-grandkids now) and so I've been to many MANY funerals and viewings, well over 25 in my lifetime.

But, I know there were two that were closed: a kid I went to high school with who died when he was ejected from a car wreck and slid, head first along the highway for several dozen feet, and my dad, who didn't want an open casket (we just put a photo of him atop the casket).

At any rate, maybe the commentors were speaking about wakes, were I think the open casket sits in a room with the mourners there eating, drinking and talking to one another. That I've NEVER been to, and that would seem freaky to me.

But what normally happens around here, and what I'm used to, is the night before the funeral is a Viewing, where the cakset sits open and the family stands nearby and people line up to walk by the casket, pay their last respects and then give their sympathies to the family. And the next day is the funeral itself, where people can visit the caskte and pay thier last respects prior to the service. Then a pastor, or someone, speaks for a short while, everyone leaves, the family can have their last moments with the deceased, then the casket is closed and put in the hearse. Anyone that wants to goes to the cemetary where another very short service is held and the cakset lowered into the earth. Then everyone goes to a church/community center/someone house/what have you and that's where the food and drink are and socializing takes place. But the body isn't there.

This is the way that seems 'normal' to me. And while I know some people don't like funerals, and I don't enjoy them myself, I do go to them. Mainly for the ones left behind, not so much for the deceased.

So, what typs of funeral rituals do they observe where you are?

POLT Listening to "Message In A Bottle" by Sting

I'm sorry to be the one to tall you this, but this 'Sex In The City' forty-something-slut-on-the-prowl fad? It's over. So how 'bout you hobble back to the bar and join the rest of the Stepford Wives, 'KAY? - Kendra Saunders, Hawkman #34

What I need right now, is some good advice, please (Part 5)...

Barker's Bits Of Puppy Philosophy

POLT Listening to "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith

I'm like Dick Tracy...with breasts...and good hair. - The Huntress, Birds Of Prey #69

Love we're trigger hippies, yeah...

Dave S.? Is that you???



Hmmm, I don't know...could be....

POLT Listening to "Natural One" by Folk Implosion

I went to a Catholic wedding once and the incesne ruined my pants suit. - Marge, The Simpsons

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 196)...

Once more it's time for...

Well, kids, I think it's time to show you one of my favorite Christmas gifts of last year. A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking got this for me.


It is, in fact, a Snuggie. But if one focused on just the lameness of the Snuggie itself, one would miss what makes this gift so awesome. If one looks closely, one can see it is a Snuggie made of DC Comics Superhero material!!!

Yep, there's Superman, Batman, Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Shazam, and even Justice League of America crest as well!!! The sheer coolness of the material far outweighs any shame one feels in wearing (or even owning) a Snuggie!

To see what others have put up this week, click HERE

POLT Listening to "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage

I once knew a guy who could tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue. I was afraid to let him blow me. - Emmett, Queer As Folk