Look at this, you haven't done....

125 Things I Have NOT Done:

1) Jumped out of a plane.
2) Bungee jumped.
3) Shaved my head.
4) Injected myself with any drug.
5) Properly used chopsticks.
6) Eaten lobster.
7) Had surgery.
8) Been to a college football game.
9) Been to a professional basketball game.
10) Seen the Godfather.
11) Bought a Beatles album.
12) Voted Republican for president.
13) Gotten any body part pierced.
14) Riden a rollercoaster.
15) Successfully driven a stick shift automobile.
16) Been to Disneyland...or Disneyworld.
17) Purchased a feminine hygiene product of ANY kind.
18) Taken any form of self-defense classes.
19) Worn a Speedo.
20) Been inside the White House.
21) Cooked a turkey.
22) Drank absinthe.
23) Published anything I've written.
24) Driven inside the Washington DC city limits.
25) Been in a Jewish temple.
26) Read War & Peace.
27) Worn women's underwear.
28) Gotten into a fistfight.
29) Flunked a class, either in public school, or college.
30) Swam with the dolphins.
31) Fired an actual firearm.
32) Seen U2 in concert.
33) Totaled a car I was driving.
34) Kissed my love interest at the stroke of midnight on New Years.
35) Watched anymore than 2 episodes of Seinfeld or Friends.
36) Had a mint julip.
37) Been at a bar for Super Bowl Sunday.
38) Been tazered.
39) Eaten a raw egg.
40) Had my tonsils removed.
41) Called in to a radio talk show.
42) Ran in a marathon.
43) Dyed my hair green (red, black, orange, and purple, yes)
44) Sewed a button back on a piece of my clothing
45) Used a hankerchief for its intended purpose.
46) Called home collect.
47) Petted a polar bear.
48) Learned how to unhook a bra.
49) Ordered straight porn online.
50) Played the violin.
51) Worn contact lenses.
52) Smoked a cigar.
53) Seen the Pacific Ocean.
54) Understood the allure of and interest in Paris Hilton.
55) Fished.
56) Went streaking.
57) Hired an attorney.
58) Won big in the Lottery.
59) Auditioned for American Idol.
60) Made out at a drive-in.
61) Drank an entire container of Diet Pepsi.
62) Worn any 'camoflauged" colored clothing.
63) Understood the popularity of Wolverine.
64) Worn dog tags.
65) Felt fondness for felines.
66) Eaten tofu.
67) Seen a ballet.
68) Dyed my goatee....yet...
69) Been 'topped'.
70) Changed the oil in my car myself.
71) Balanced my checkbook.
72) Pursued a Master's Degree.
73) Had sex with a pure blooded Native American.
74) Watched a State Of The Union Speech within the last 5 years.
75) Gone on the Atkins Diet.
76) Called Ghostbusters.
77) Find any humor in Larry, The Cable Guy
78) Been to Mardi Gras.
79) Used an electric toothbrush.
80) Worn an adult diaper.
81) Milked a cow.
82) Cut an embilical cord.
83) Either driven or riden on a motorcycle.
84) Climbed to the top of the Empire State Building.
85) Juggled successfully.
86) Bowled a perfect game.
87) Planted a garden.
88) Shaved my eyebrows off.
89) Worn boots that reached my knees.
90) Played Bridge.
91) Changed a diaper.
92) Applied a tourniquet.
93) Eaten an anchovy.
94) Skied.
95) Painted my toenails.
96) Shaved my legs.
97) Seen the play Cats.
98) Used a chainsaw.
99) Painted a house.
100) Touched a llama.
101) Worn a bike helmet.
102) Taken a cruise.
103) Reached my potential.
104) Watched The Passion Of The Christ.
105) Worn Birkenstocks.
106) Purchased an iron.
107) Owned a gerbil.
108) Taken Prozac.
109) Butchered a pig.
110) Swam in one of the Great Lakes.
111) Kissed a Morman (as far as I know).
112) Actually kicked someone's ass.
113) Stolen a car.
114) Sang a love song to a partner in public.
115) Eaten caviar.
116) Bet on a roulette wheel.
117) Made copies of my ass on a copier.
118) Rode a skateboard.
119) Conversed in Russian.
120) Owned a Japanese car.
121) Did not cry for you, Aregentina.
122) Surfed.
123) Drank a martini.
124) Danced the Charleston.
125) Had any part of my body waxed.

POLT - listening to "I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks" by The Bloodhound Gang

A man should leave a party when it's roaring. - Jack Murdock, Daredevil: Yellow #1