You know i really think you oughta, tell me...

My latest issue of OUT magazine came today. Each month, they ask some gay friendly woman to list "what your striaght gal pals really think". This month, they got Rachel Dratch, SNL alum. Her list made me laugh, as does she herself.

1. I don't care how many times you say, "You have to try this!" I don't want a sip of your sour apple martini.
2. Despite your best efforts of subtley, we always know when you're checking out some guy over our shoulders.
3. Attending a Fire Island tea dance with you is at the upper end of the spectrum of what a straight single lady can handle without saying, "What the hell am I doing with my life?"
4. When we do karoke with my friends, we cannot sing "Suddenly Seymour" every time. Straight guys don't even know what it is.
5. Sometimes we're a little embarrassed to have your over because our apartments are messier than yours. (NOT a problem in my case. - Polt)
6.You like my boobs more than I do.
7. If you call at 9am to describe in detail the BJ you recieved the night before, I will say, "It's too early for this." and hang up on you.
8. To us, a blanket on a plane is for warmth - not a way to hide the fact that you're jerking off the stranger sitting next to you.
9. When we're feeling bad about our love lives, "Just go troll the park and suck off some guy behind a bush" is not helpful advice.
10. When you say 'poppers', we think jalapenos.

POLT Listening to "Thank You" by Alanis Morisette Oil: 46.97 (+1.24); gas: 1.87 (+.01)

Cracker Barrel tastes just like the baby Jesus. - Polt