Seems like yesterday, old habits die hard.....

Saturday at work, I got a called from A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking.  He was begging and pleading with me to go see "A Good Day To Die Hard" with him, which I already knew i didn't want to see. His wife refused to even consider it.  And Ghostie, his usual crappy-movie viewing buddy, was sick with the puking flu.  So he broke down and begged me.

He said he'd even cry if it would help.  I said it wouldn't (although upon later consideration, I think I SHOULD have insisted upon tears).  Instead, he said he'd buy me ticket.  At the comfy seating VIP theater. And but me popcorn.  And a drink.  And then I thought: free drink, popcorn and comfy seat.....oh, why not?  So I met him after work, got my free ticket, popcorn and drink, and we settled in the watch the latest Die Hard movie.

I knew it was an 'action film' but I had no idea it was such a science fiction film as well.  It obviously takes place in an alternate reality.

It take place in a reality where in a Jeep can ram into the side of an armored vehicle and succeed in knocking the much larger armored vehicle off the highway.

It takes place in a reality where one can drop a truck full of highly refined, weapons grade uranium from a helicopter and have just a normal explosion result.  No nuclear issues whatsoever.

It takes place in a reality where one can walk safely through a place contaminated with radiation for 25 years, like in Chernobyl, while wearing only a regular hazmat rubber suit gasmask.  Radiation suits not required.

It takes place in a reality where radiation was 'pooled' for 25 years, and where one can bring a tank of some mystic, magical gas that, when released, totally neutralizes all that radiation in less than a minute and allows people to walk around in regular clothes.

It takes place in a reality wherein one can have fall from a rooftop and have a piece of rebar imbedded in your lower left torso, and have that rebar yanked out, and yet, you not only do NOT bleed out, but in fact can later in the day, run, jump, do flips, fight, and all other sorts of things a fully healthy, non-rebar-impaled man has trouble doing.

It takes place in a reality where one can be shot in the left bicep and be bleeding so badly that you require a tourniquet right after the shot, but later that same day, is able to not only lean on that arm, but hold an automatic firearm, bracing it against that arm, while firing it full bore.

It takes place in a reality where half a dozen 'professionals' armed with automatic weapons, and in fact a helicopter firing it's massive guns into a building, do not succeed it even hitting the people they're aiming at.

The movie wasn't a total loss, though.  It did show several beautiful picturesque shots of the skyline of Moscow.  And the guy who plays Bruce Willis' son is pretty cute, hunky, bicep-ey, with a nicely fuzzy chest.

Still, neither of these feasts for the eyes can even come close to making up for the horridness of the movie.

Unless you want a movie that is 5/6th car chases, explosions, and gunfire, and 1/5th brainless quips passing for dialogue (and I know some DO want that, although I can't for the life of me understand WHY!), then avoid this piece of drek with all due diligence.

Seriously, the studios need to let this franchise die and...yes, I'll say it.... DIE HARD!

POLT