Back in the mid-90s, I met Mark through a mutual friend at Headquarters, the local gay bar. Over time he and I became good close friends.
I found out this afternoon, Mark died on Monday Feb 19th. He was 64. He had, basically leukemia, although it was actually more complex than that. He was in the hospital again and decided to just enter hospice on the 9th and stop the treatments that weren't working and let everything take its course. And ten days later he was dead. But no longer suffering.
I called Mark my Fairy Godfather. For a gay guy in his mid 20s who was sexually experience but totally unschooled in gay life, he was a godsend. He taught and showed me so much. He took me to my first gay strip club (and several trips back). He took me to Rehobeth Beach at least twice, maybe three or four times. I'm not a beach person, but I've loved Rehobeth Beach because it's so laid back and we always had fun there. He took me to my first Greek Festival (in DC) and my first Greek restaurant (in Toronto), as he was a full blooded Greek. He took me to several movies at the DC Gay Film Festival several years. He took me to see several films in DC that were small independent films that would never had made it up here. On three separate occasions with three different of my friends, we went to his place in Ashburn VA and he took into DC for different things and we all spent the night at this place. He attended several Gay Pride Parades with me. He answered my questions and helped adapt to and mesh into gay life.
And the biggest thing he did for me was to take me to Toronto the first time. My love for all things Toronto is solely due to him.
Almost 20 years ago, he had to move back to Michigan, but we kept in sporadic touch over the years. He frequently came back to visit friends here or passed through on his way to Rehobeth Beach and we usually got together for a meal and to chat as he passed though. Luckily, when he came through last August we were able to meet up and eat and chat for a while. And when I heard he said he was going into Hospice, I did email him and tell him exactly how thankfully I was for him and for all he did for me. He was never a warm, cuddly, share-your-feelings type, so telling him that in person would have been awkward. But emailing it was a perfect way, and he appreciated hearing it.
Mark was a veteran, a DJ, an avid record collector (I've heard over 150,000 vinyl albums!), a tech guy, and a lover of cats! And he had the only cat I've ever liked: Spencer, a Siamese. He was a decent cat, not imposing himself on me. He come by, I'd talk to him, he'd meow at me and I'd rub his ears while we had our conversation. And then he'd go away and leave me alone for the rest of my visit.
Mark and I never had sex, that wasn't the nature of our friendship. Although he did arrange for me took up with the guy he was seeing and one of the hottest guys I had sex with: Patrick. Nineteen, mop of blonde hair, a bit taller than me, a smiler, a laugher, and a long hard cock. I'm not sure why Mark made it happen, but he did: the three of us went to see Boogie Nights, then a meal, and then back to Mark's place where he insisted we go up to his bedroom. And he and I had fun for about a half hour. So I guess by one degree of separation, Mark and I did have sex, somehow. But I digress.....
Anyway, at one time, Mark was one of my absolute best friends. Even though he was in Michigan, we were still good friends. And due to that, and all he did for me over the years, I really am upset about his passing. Glad that he's not longer suffering as he has been over the last three months or so, but still, upset.
Mark, from back in the 90s when we were hanging out.
Fairy Godfather indeed.
At the DC Pride Parade, circe 2000.
At the DC Pride Parade a few years later.
Godspeed, my friend. Thanks for everything. Love you, man.
POLT
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