I hate Daylight Savings Time.
You might think I'd enjoy it, since I have such trouble getting up at 7am each morning to make it work by 8. And now, instead of getting up at 7am (well it will still be 7) I'll be getting up at 8, under the old schedule. But NO!
I hate missing ANY sleep. I hate it being lighter in the evening, I don't need sunlight at 9:00pm over the summer, 8 would have been fine with me. And I hate it being so damn bright in the morning. You might think that helps me wake up, BUT NO! Nothing helps me wake up, and it just pisses me off when there's light coming into the room before I'm ready to see that much light.
On the upside, and totally unrelated to the topic above and despite DST, I am doing much MUCH better than I was. February was a horrid little month for me this year! Miss Cleo died. I had to go throught the stress of buying a new car unexpectedly. Laptop got infected and died. Bought a new one, didn't like it returned it. Bought another one. Two blizzards nearly back to back. And the last week of the month, I was horribly sick.
But what was worse than all that was my...well, I'm not gonna call it depression, cause that implies you care about how bad things are and are upset by them. Me? I didn't care. Totally apathetic. Engulfed in ennui. I didn't care that nothing interested me. Things that normally gave me joy or piqued my interest didn't do so any longer. Not comic books, reading, Farmville, blogging, watching TV. Hell, even masturbation became something of a joyless chore. And that should tell you everything you need to know about how I felt! I did it mostly cause it was a habit and I had time to waste, not cause I really wanted to.
I honestly don't recall EVER having such a lack of interest in life. I was NOT suicidal by any means, I just didn't care. About much of anything. Several nights I went to bed about 8:00pm. Rarely, if ever, did I stay up until 11:00. And that's normally when I go to bed!
I don't know what caused it, I don't know what prolonged it, and I don't know what stopped it. But I'm DAMN glad it's gone! My interest in those things have returned. While I'm not looking forward to chores, I no longer look at the cluttered table and think "Whatever". Now I think, "Man, I gotta get that shit tidied up...but later, not now." And while that may not seem the way it should be, it's a HUGE improvement. And that's how I was before. Best of all, masturbating is back to what it was before.
So again, I don't know what the catalyst was, but I'm DAMN glad it's all over now. You might even notice an uptick of posts here as opposed to last month. And that's good for us all. Although on a personal level, I'm less excited about the blogging and more excited about the masturbation thing.
POLT
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8 comments:
You're not the only one that has been in a funk like that. I know several people that just can't wait for some warm weather and new adventures. Glad you dug your way out.
It turns out the human animal (And we are animals!) is very dependent upon light. To the point where after the autumnal equinox we get less and less and that affects production of certain hormones that impact brain function.
That is probably what you got bit by.
That is depression for me. I never felt suicidal even at my worst, I could just sit and stare into space for hours. I had no interest in anything. I did what I had to do but I'd be sitting there and think "Huh, I think I'm thirsty" but couldn't be bothered to get up and get a drink of water. (Being deeply depressed is great for my diet.) Not all depression is laying around crying in bed. Many of us have high functioning depression. I needed some drugs to get off mine, seems you just needed some time. Not all depression needs help, sometimes it passes and sometimes there's no damn reason for it to ever have been there in the first place. Just glad it's gone for you and that you are feeling much perkier.
TUG: ya know, someone at work mentioned the same thing about the light. I laughed it off, as this has NEVER happened to me before. But then I thought, previously, I was living on a third floor apartment where I kept the shades up all the time cause no one could see in, and now i live on two floors, facing a busy street and I generally keep the blinds shut all the time, so yeah, that MIGHT have been the problem. I'll have to be wary of that next year.
HUGS...
I LOVE IT when it's lighter in the evening! You're able to do stuff after work! Makes me feel like I can actually do something with my day aside from just work work work.
That would be #478 on Sassy Josh's List Of Things That He Lurrrves That Polt Doesn't Like. :)
HUGS...
I agree with truthspew, I woul bet that it is the light. Winter's lack of light effects our moods.
I have springing forward too!! It was nice going to St. Louis right after that cause it went back an hour again!
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