My baby's got a secret (Part 155)...

Secret Saturdays

This week's theme: Couples.

POLT

Little bird, little bird, little bird What do you hear?...

When I got home from work, the kid next door who lives in the attic, talked to me and told me I better check my attic again, because he knows I have a bird up there.  He chased one back over to my side, and then stuffed the hole full of something so he knows it there.

So when I got inside, I went up to the attic.  As a refresher for you all, my attic is divided into three parts.  The middle part, where the stairs come into, has been made into a room, with paneling and carpeting and all that stuff.  That's where I have all my things stored.  The front and back are regular attics: exposed beams, insulation, bare wooden floors etc.  And it was in the back part that a few weeks ago that I found a dead bird. 

So first I checked the front and again found nothing unusual.  Then I went to the back part.  I didn't see any birds, but I saw quite a few marks of bird shit.  So obviously, they were there.  I came back down and called mom and we talked about it.  She said she'd come down sometime over the weekend and we'd get up there in old clothes with flashlights and see what we could find.

So I took a half hour walk (yay!) and I wasn't home any more than ten minutes before she knocked at the back door.  She brought down some photos albums she wanted me to have and while she was here, we trudged up to the attic.  We went to the front and saw nothing, and the middle was clear as well. 

When she opened the door to the back part, she quickly closed it and looked around at me and whispered, "OH!  There's a bird in there NOW!  Next to the window!"  She pulled the door open a bit and I looked in too and saw it.  The bird was flying against the window, trying to get outside.  She shut the door again and I asked her, "What are we gonna do with it?"

Without missing a beat, she said, "I'll go in an stun it and then we can get it out."  And she flew through the door before I could even finsh saying, "WHAT?"  Her response, over her shoulder was, "Keep the door closed, don't let it out."

Having just watching a good portion of Hitchcock's The Birds not too terribly long ago, I was completely visualizing what was going to happen to us in there, and I was not too keen to go in there.  I'm not good with small animals flying around my head in confined spaces, so while she was in there, I kept the door open only a crack just so I could see what was going on.

And I simply stood there and shook my head.  As the bird fluttered like crazy bouncing into and against the window, mom found, laying on the floorm  a round rod like what would be a holder for a blind over a window.  She used that to hit the bird, or try to.  She said, "Oh, I'm gonna break the window!" which thankfully she didnt.  She did succeed in hitting it, knocking it to the floor.  From safely behind the door, I asked her, "What are you doing?"  Swinging the rod again, she said, "I'm trying to knock it out."

Then, she kinda screamed a little, cause the bird took to the air. She brandished the rod in front of her, I guess hoping to use it ward the bird off, but it simply flew right past her.  She saw where it went.  And back near the house's edge, we shined the flashlight (with the bird gone, it was safe for me to enter) and saw possibly a nest in the broken floorboards, but definitely the way the birds were getting in.

Having survived the whole bird experience, we left the attic.  Now we're gonna try to find a reputable carpenter in town to fix that area up (chasing the birds away first hopefully) and ensure they dont get back in.  But I think mom might have a second career as a bird exterminator in the near future.

POLT

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 313)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Kisses And Chin Stubble.

POLT

C'Mon, Join the party!



POLT

Call in three months time, and I'll be fine (Part 3)...

Thursday Three

What float-ed my boat this week? 

1) Walking.


(And that, kids, is me in my sparkling white, spiffy new walkin' sneakers I just bought cause my old pair were crap)

Not only did the doctor put me on a diet just a step above bread and water (although since I can't have any carbs, well, it ain't BREAD and water now is it?) but she also told me to exercise more.   I'm basically a slug when it comes to exercising, but I've always enjoyed walking.  And so, I've taken it up again.  And I'm seeing so many attractive guys!  Who knew my lil town had any at all?

2) Blossoming Bradford Pear Trees

This is one I pass frequently while walking.  I hate the tiny little leaves that litter the ground under them, but I LOVE the smell, even though it's kind of a diluted-Chlorox smell.  I think they smell amazing. And there's a memory attached to that smell...which I'll not go into now, but it's a VERY pleasant one.

3) Buying meat in large quantities!

Since I'm on the low to no carb diet, I can eat nearly any meat and as much as I want.  So I simply stock up on it all at one time, and it's cheaper that way.  And it's so tasty too!  And we ALL know how much I love a mass of tasty, cheap meat!  Baaaa-ZING!

Anything this week sparked your interest?

POLT

Satan's disciple, he's coming to get us, he's coming to get us...

Just in case there was any doubt:



POLT

Cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 218)...

WifeBeater Wednesday

This week's theme: Red.

POLT

"Oh hello!"

"Um, I think you seem to be in my spot.....do you  mind MOVING?"

POLT

The back of your hand somewhere on my behind (Part 105)...

Tooshie Tuesdays

This week's theme: Tooshies At Urinals.

POLT

For some unknown reason, I got awake at 645AM.  I went to the bathroom and went back to read while I read a bit, and then eventually, went back to sleep.  I didn't get out of bed until almost 10AM.  I had a bowl of cereal, showered, dressed, mailed off my CD in this month's CD Exchange, went to the Credit Union for some banking issues, and then went to moms.

There, I played with Angel, read the paper and read some of my book until Mom got there.  When she did, about 1230PM, we left and went to Hagerstown.  I got a new pair of sneakers (gotta have better shoes if I'm gonna be doing all this walking), and then to the Fat Man's store where I got four shirts and a belt.  Then she got a pair of shoes.  And then we went to Ryans to eat.

Ryan's is a big buffet place.  I chose it cause I knew they had a lot of meat there and a nice salad bar.  But while we ate there, well, it was hell.  They had corn, several different kinds of potatoes and delicious buns and bread....and I could have none of them.  I did have a salad, and then pulled pork, chicken, green beans, meatballs, and some macaroni salad (which was the only way I was naughty with carbs).  And man, it was difficult.   I don't think I'll eat at a buffet again for quite a while.

I dropped mom off and got home about 3:45PM.  I laid on the bed and read my new National Geographic and a bit of my book and then....fell into a nap.  Until like 615, almost a two hour nap!  Decadent, but lovely.  Well, I guess we'll see just how lovely when I try to get to sleep tonight.

Then I came down here and putzed around on the computer.  And that was my wasted day.

POLT

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 248)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys And Green.
(like grass, headwraps, ivy, leaves, phone covers, shirts, sweats, waders, walls and wristbands)

POLT

Polt's Pop Quiz #20

Three are true, one is a lie. 
1. I have never eaten a Brusell Sprout.
2. I have never seen the movie "Alien" from start to finish.
3. I have never seen a professional baseball game in person.
4. I have never fired a real firearm.

Give me your guesses in the comments.

POLT

Someone get be a bed, in the Casa de Loco (Part 3)...

REASONS TO CALL IN SICK AND JUST STAY IN BED

Reason #3.

POLT

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 301)...

UNCONSCIOUS MUTTERINGS

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Flake :: Rick Santorum
2. Like :: Button
3. Rash :: Diaper
4. Humor :: Funny
5. Splash :: Darryl Hannah (really dating myself here, eh?)
6. Blind :: Mice
7. Noisy :: Loud
8. Ornate :: Fancy
9. Rain :: Snow
10. Intensify :: Increase

POLT

Drive my mini-Cooper, and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 171)...

SUPERMAN SUNDAYS

Having finished (finally) the Superman tattoos theme, we move onto a new one: Superman Pajama Pants!

POLT

My baby's got a secret (Part 154)...

Secret Saturdays

This week's theme: Orange Secrets.

POLT

Consumed two glasses of water, one can of Diet Coke, steak, a salad, handfull of cashews, and cup of yogurt, and 34 minute walk taken.

Now shut up, my work for the day is done.

POLT

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 312)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Horizontal Almost-Kisses.

POLT

Bet you a kangaroo, we could all dance to...

Just saw this ad on TV.  For some reason it cracked me up.  I'm still chuckling even now.



POLT

You beter WORK, work it girl!

Well you GO girl.

Me?  I nearly break my ankle just LOOKING at those things, I've no idea how he moves at all while wearing them.

POLT

Call in three months time, and I'll be fine (Part 2)...

Thursday Three

Now I give you three things from the past week that were just pretty freaking awesome.

1) Cadbury Caramel Eggs.

Just so we're clear, Vanilla Bean Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory is the next best thing in this work to sex.  Cadbury Caramel Eggs are the next best thing to the cheesecake.  Just sayin....  Course, I won't be enjoying too many of these as my doctor has been on me about sweets and carbs.  Damn diabetes.


2) Cherry Blossom Hand Soap.

For years, I have been using Black Raspberry & Vanilla handsoap, cause, well honestly, it was purple.  But when I needed refills lately, the store was sold out of that kind.  So, sitting there was the cherry blossom.  I thought, "Hey, I like cheeries too, so I'll get this one now, and get the other kind later."  But when I used it, man, I was hooked.  It smells SO GOOD!  And the smell lasts quite a while after washing my hands.  I've now said goodbye to Black Raspberry & Vanilla and Hello, How YOU Doin? to Cherry Blossom!

3) Frat Boys With Too Much Time On Thier Hands.



Nuff said, eh?

Anything in particular good for you this past week?

POLT

Doctor, doctor, tell me the news.....

So yeah, I had a migraine today.  They suck.  At least I didn't puke this time, so no neck and back pain.  And when I woke up around noonish, it had faded to a dull non-migrainey throb.  That was at least tolerable, although I think I have a sinus infection in addition to everything else.  And light still bothered me all day, but whatever, at least it's managable now.

In related health news, I saw my new doctor Monday.  My old doctor left the practice, and I chose to stay there rather than go with him (I was never terribly impressed with him anyway).  This one seemed nice but she's younger than me.  Considerably (Shut up, A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking, no old man jokes!).  Like a decade or more older.  That's a first for me.

And she's much more...hands on (figuratively) than the old doctor.  She seems much more proactive, and was kinda all over me about my diabetes.  Which, I suppose, she should be.  She told me I HAD to exercise more and eat better, or insulin was on it's way.  UGH.  So when I got home Monday, I went out and took a 20 minute walk.  Woulda been longer, but it started raining.  And after work yesterday, I stopped by the grocery store, and as I was checking out, I wouldn't have recognized the pruchases as mine if I hadn't made them myself.

There was aspargus, lettuce, carrots, celery, bologna and cheese, yogurt, steak, and salad dressing.  I've purchased all those before at one time or another, but rarely all together.  And what else was differnet was what WASN'T in there.  No chips.  No cookies.  Wheat bread, not white.  No steam-it-yourself corn or peas.  No frozen twice baked potatos.  No frozen pizzas.  No Cheetos or Wheat Thins.  No TV dinners. 

See, she basically put me on the South Beach Diet: Lots of protein, no carbs.  That means no, or very limited, pasta, bread, rice, etc, etc, etc.  And the only vegetables that I actually LIKE, potatos, corn and peas, are now verboten.  Green leafy vegetables are what she's pushing.  Even though I don't LIKE green leafy vegetable.  Ugh.

She said I'm to have three meals a day with anywhere form 45-60 grams of carbs total, hopefully more towards to 45 end than the 60 end.  And I can have two 19 grams of carbs snacks in between.  But, she cautioned, a slice of white bread has 12 grams of carbs.  And apple has the same.  A banana apparently have over 19 and is right out!  Good thing I'm not a fan of bananas.

This will take some getting used to.  And I'm going to try.  Course, I TRIED similar things in the past and we know how that worked out.  But I never counted carbs before, I was only paying attention to the sugars.  This is new to me.  And man, when I check the labels, geez, do carbs add up quickly in the stuff I like to eat.

But at least I get to eat as much meat as I like....in both the dining room AND the bedroom.  Ba-dum-DUM!  Thanks, I'll be here all week, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waiters.

And hey, as a plus I MAY end up actually losing some weight for the C&R weight loss challenge I'm in, so it's like a win-win, right?

POLT

HAIKU

I said it before,

I will now say it again.

Migraines FUCKING suck.

POLT

Cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 217)...

Wife Beater Wednesdays

This week's theme: Wife Beaters With Words.

POLT