Super Bowl LVIX (59 in non-Roman numerals) is this Sunday. The Philadelphia Eagles vs the Kansas City Chiefs. Didn't we just DO this? Yeah, yeah, we did, two years ago. So we might as well use my stats from the game, those that haven't changed as well as those few who may have.
1. The Cities
Chiefs; Kansas City
Eagles: Philadelphia
Two years ago winner: Eagles
This year winner: Eagles
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2. Distance to the Super Bowl
This years it's in New Orleans not Phoenix.
Chiefs: 846 miles
Eagles: 1224 miles
Winner: Chiefs
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3. Team Mascot/Logos
Two years ago winner: Chiefs
This year winner: Chiefs
Winner: Chiefs
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4. Coaches
Chiefs: Andy Reid
Eagles; Nick Sirianni
Two years ago winner: Chiefs
This year winner: Chiefs
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5. 2024 Season Record
(including playoffs)
Chiefs: 17-2
Eagles: 17-3
Winner: Chiefs
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6. Quarterback Experience
Chiefs: Since the last time they met in the Super Bowl, the Chiefs have won another Super Bowl
Eagles: Since the last time they met in the Super Bowl, the Eagles didn't even make it to the NFC Conference Game
Two year ago winner: Chiefs
This year winner: Chiefs
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7. Quarterback Face Cuteness
Same quarterbacks both years, faces haven't changed.
Two year ago winner: It was tie between Patrick Mahomes and Jalen Hurts.
This year winner: Again, a tie
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8. Quarterback Body Hotness
Same quarterbacks both years, same bodies.
Two years ago: Eagles and Jalen Hurts
This year winner: Eagles and Jalen Hurts
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9. Team's Other Star Player
Chiefs: two Years ago, it was Travis Kelce
Eagles; Saquan Barkley
So we've got a large tight end with a much too bushy beard. And we got a running back with freakishly HUGE thighs and bubble butt.
Winner: Saquan Barkeley and the Eagles!
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10, Team's Super Bowl Experience
Chiefs: 4-2
Eagles: 1-3
Winner: Chiefs
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So, this completely scientific and unbiased study results in the following:
Chiefs: 6 wins, Eagles: 3 wins, ties: 1
So the Chiefs are taking home their third straight Super Bowl trophy.
POLT
PS
In case you're wondering oh how accurate my 'scientific' predictions are, here are the results over the years:
Season My Pick Winner
2023 Chiefs Chiefs
2022 Chiefs Chiefs
2021 Rams Rams
2020 Chiefs Bucs
2019 Chiefs Chiefs
2018 Rams Patriots
2017 neither Eagles
2016 Patriots Patriots
2015 Panthers Broncos
2014 Seahawks Patriots
2013 Seahawks Seahawks
2012 Ravens Ravens
2011 Patriots Giants
2010 Packers Packers
2009 Saints Saints
2008 Cardinals Steelers
2007 Patriots Giants
2006 Colts Colts
2005 Seahawks Steelers
Predicted correctly: 10; Predicted incorrectly: 8; and 1 I didn't predict at all.
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