My baby's got a secret (Part 117)...

Secret Saturdays

POLT Listening to "Diesel Power" by The Prodigy

"Are you the devil?" "It's the ones who look like angels that worry me." - Angela, The West Wing

Part 160...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears For Fears Oil:45.52 (-.58): Gas: 1.88 (-.01)

You know, you have a stunningly superficial knowledge of what went on that it's almost embarrassing to listen to you. - Zbignew Brzezinski, to Joe Scarborough

Confrontation watch man, for the progress of nation...

Okay, my review of The Watchmen:



1) It is long. Way long. But worth the time.
2) Despite some pretty big changes, it sticks pretty much to the storyline.
3) Dr. Manhattan has a pretty nice penis. Who knew?
4) It's got a pretty damn fine soundtrack. I knew most of the songs.
5) I have no idea how they managed to compress all that into 2 hours and 45 minutes, but they did, and they did it very very well.
6) It's got Richard Nixon, Henry Kissenger, John F, Kennedy, Pat Buchanan, Eleanor Clift, John McLaughlin, and Lee Iacocca in it...and those are just the ones I noticed.



Of course, A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking didn't like it. That's kinda what I expected. Ghostie, who saw it earlier in the day, liked it. Ryan, my buddy from work, saw it with us, and he liked it. Gilligan was there with another friend, and after the show, we talked a bit, and HE liked it. So only ALCMDPP didn't like it...but then he's a loser with a capital L.

Tam, I know you were asking about taking your daughter...there's some violent fight scenes, with some graphic violence, but if she's seen a horror movie, she's seen worse. And there's one sex scene that a bit explicit, but not x-rated or anything. Oh, and there's the occasional Dr. Manhattan blue penis hanging around. I think you said your daughter is 13 or 14...I don't know your daughter's maturity level, but I'm pretty sure she could handle it.

It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it was the best they could possibly get in this format. The graphic novel is still better, but then you can cover much more in that medium than you can in a film. And it's certainly one of the most faithful to it's source comic book movies I've ever seen. Overall, I'd give it an A-.

POLT Listening to "True" by Spandau Ballet

When you're talking about me, keep your mouth shut. - Allan Lampart, Toronto mayor

Part 159...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Johnny Are You Queer?" by Josie Cotton Oil: 46.06 (+2.52); gas: 1.89 (-)

The thing she was wearing today scared the shit outta me. - Sweet P, Project Runway

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 175)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Kisses And Buns



POLT Listening to "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John

Nothing I like better than a well-organized fiasco. - Aran Tallbow, Dragons Of Highland Skies

One honey donut and your lips are stuck to the seat...

I get out of bed each morning with just enough time to shower, shave, get dressed, and get to work. No time for a good breakfast. So I make a quick stop at a convience store, Rutters, nearby, and get a bottle of milk and something to eat: a breakfast sandwich from their deli, a Tastycake cherry pie, some fresh donuts, what have you.

One day this week, I got two powdered donuts, one creme filled, the other Bavarian creme filled! Yummy!

I got into my car, and put the milk bottle in the cup holder. I put the bag of donuts atop my backpack in the passanger seat. I intended to eat them on the way to work, so I left the opening on the bag facing me. And then I pulled out.

So yeah, I'm going around a curve out of the parking lot, and, yeah, the bag starts to slide. And not just slide but turn. Turn so that when it gets to the far side of the seat, and it tips over the side, the opening it pointed that way. Thusly, my two breakfast donuts slide right out and between the seat and the door.

And what could I do? I was in the midst of a turn into traffic, I could just stop, or take time to reach across or anything. I could however, sit there and watch the bag slide over and deposit the powder-covered donuts on the other side of my seat.

In between my swearing, I had presense of mind to pull over into the next parking lot I found, luckily less than a block from the store. I immediately reached over, grabbed the bag and yanked it back. This did little than insure that if the donuts had, in fact, not already left the bag, that they would now. Along with any and all powder that may or may not have been laying in the bottom the bag.

I had the bag, but I STILL wanted my donuts. I could get one by reaching over the to the opposite side of the seat. That was fine. The second one, though, apparently rolled down beside and behind the seat, cause I found it on the floor behind the seat.

I checked to make sure no errant hairs or dust bunnies were attached to them, and then I invoked the 5 second rule (even though it had been well longer than 5 seconds) and ate them anyway. Hey, I paid good money for them, and I was hungry!

I did manage to get a momento of my experience that day when I got home.


POLT Listening to "Nothing Really Matters" by Madonna

Six and a half million people have visited the Dome and six and a half left happy or happier. - P.Y. Gerbeau, chief executive of England's Millennium Dome

Part 158...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "More" by The Crystal Method Oil: 43.54 (-1.84); Gas: 1.89 (-)

It's not hard to figure out how he died, is it? His head hit the pavement at thirty miles and hour. Case closed. - Tosh, Torchwood, Another Life

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Parts 149, 150, 151)...

Due to an illness, a friend's sucide, and just general lack of motivation and interest, over the last two weeks, for the first time since March of 2005, I did not post an HNT. But this week, I've decided to rectify that situation, by doing THREE HNT's in one.

From Memorial Day 2000 to Labor Day 2003, I worked at a local Borders bookstore. Loved it. It was the best, worst paying job I've ever had. Fun, worked with fun people, and got a pretty sweet discount. And to a book lover like me, that was the most important thing.

At Borders, we all had to wear a badge. The badge had to have our name on it, but other than that, we were free to decorate it in any non-offensive or objectional way we saw fit. I decorated both sides as follows:


This side had a Superman S, which matches my Superman S tattoo I got in September 2000. Also, at one point, we were supposed to take these little beads and piece of wire, and make some kind of bracelet thing, I think. I made mine a rainbow, of course. And I kept that little thing attached to my badge the who time, even after we were supposed to not be using them anymore.


This side had my Canada flag on it, signifying my love of Toronto. I never could find a Toronto sticker, so this one had to suffice. I was constantly surprised at the number of customers who asked me if I was Canadian. And I was further surprised at the number of cute boys who asked me who were Canadian. This badge helped start many a conversation with a cute Canadian customer.


When I started, we got a badge with this color band. About halfway through my tenure there, they changed to badges with a black band, that didn't hang as low, and just weren't as cool. We were supposed to turn all the old badges in for new ones. I never did. I continued to wear the cooler non-black banded one the entire time I was there.

Upon leaving Borders, employees were to turn in their badges as well. Yeah, that didn't happen either.

So, now that I've gotten through the last few weeks, hopefully I'll go another three years before I miss another HNT! To see what others have posted, click HERE

POLT Listening to "Ray Of Light" by Madonna

"She ran off to Elgin and now she's fucking the entire Scottish Rugby team!" "I don't think, I mean she's only fucking one of them." - Sid's dad, Skins

I like the little thing around your navel...

Polt Pop Quiz #16

Walking into Jonah's dorm room and seeing the following, what would the proper response be?

A) Dude, I don't think that's gonna make your innie an outtie.
B) Exercise, I believe, is the proper way to get your abs to stick out more.
C) Jonah, if you have any questions about suction, I'd be more than happy to demonstrate the principle.
D) Jonah, have some more beer, your clothes are still on! How can we play "Plumber and Naked College Boy With Clogged Toilet" if you're like that?
E) Jonah, you've got the wrong end of that thing...and your navel is the wrong hole.

POLT Listening to "Soul Bassa Nova" by Quincey Jones

I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war. - George W. Bush, Jan 27, 2002

Part 157...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama Oil: 45.38 (+3.91); Gas: 1.89 (-)

I learned that when you always show up on time, it's not appreciated - it's expected. Being fashionably late accomplishes two things: one, it challenges your supervisor as to whether 9 am sharp was meant as Eastern or Pacific time; two, it sends a message you have bigger fish to fry. - Dave Dunseath

Cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 85)...

Wife Beater Wednesdays

This week's theme: wife beaters with no bottoms.




POLT Listening to "Into The Ocean" by Blue October

"I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy." "And I can see Russia from my house!" - Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, SNL

They're parking cars in the old bean patch...

Got a story for ya.

I stopped after work at the market to get a few things. I'm walking out to my car, and I'm gonna put the items in the passenger side. But as I get close, this cars pulls up, wanting to pull through to park beside me (there were no cars behind either of us, and we both just pulled through to the other spot, so we were facing out).

We both stopped, but I waved her on. She pulled in. As she did, I walked on around and opened my passenger's side door, put my items in, shut the door and started on my way to the driver's side.

She stops her car and gets out. She's at least 70, with that blue tinted hair old laides have. But, she was wearing blue tights, like ladies wear to work out. she had a tan coat all buttoned up, cause it was cold, but the blue tights were like pastel and hard to miss. And she's wearing these big huge sunglasses.

Well I open my door to get in, and as she slams hers, she said, "Good afternoon." I stopped getting in and said "Good afternoon" to her. Just being polite.

Well then she comes to my car and puts her elbows on the roof, puts her head on her palms and said, "My husband always told me that if I can ever just pull on through, well, I should just pull on through." I nodded, smiled and said, "Yeah, I like to pull through that way too."

Then she straightened up, got off my car and said, "But he died 13 years ago, so I don't have to listen to him anymore." And just turned and walked around the front of my car towards the store.

I can't wait to reach an age wheren I can spout nonsense like it's something wise and important, and not be committed to a loonie bin.

POLT Listening to "Captain Jack's Theme" from the Torchwood soundtrack

Er, yeah, that would be me. Sorry, I'm a twat. - Owen, Torchwood

Well, me and jesus got our own thing goin...

Having divorced Guy Ritchie and having cast aside steroided A-Rod, Madonna has moved onto 22 year old Brazilian model Jesus. They met during a photo shoot and are now apparently dating. Here's some of the shots from the photoshoot.




All I can say is, "You go girl!"

Frankly, I'd schtupp either of them. Or both of them. Together or seperately. On the pitchers mound of Yankee Stadium. In front of a sell out crowd. On pay per view. I mean, not normally, no, but when it comes to Madonna or a 22 year old Brazilian model named Jesus, my standards evaporate. Such as they are.

Imagine, a boyfriend named Jesus....you could yell his name during sex, and he'd not know if you were calling out to him or to our savior? Course, if that ever happened, I'm not at all certain I'd care which I was calling to. Or if I'd even be coherent enough in my gutteral moans and groans that he'd know WHAT I'm calling him.

POLT Listening to "Perfect Symmetry" by Keane

Argggh! I've only got one heart working! How DO you people cope? - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Standin' there, with your finger in the air...

Frankly, I don't care that he's a pothead. I don't care that he's not the cutest face I've ever seen. With a body like that, with abs like those, everything else is irrelevant.


Lucky bitch, how I'd love to put my fingernail there...if I had fingernails....

POLT Listening to "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's

You fought her off with a water pistol! I bloody LOVE you! - Donna Noble, Dr. Who

Part 156...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" Oil: 41.47 (+1.04); Gas: 1.89 (-.01)

What a douchebag. He's fired. - Cara, Polt's friend

TMI Tuesdays

1. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that you were sure in advance you would hate (or never try) and then discovered to your surprise you loved? Yes, in fact there was, and no I don’t believe I’ll be posting here what it was. There’s some things a lady just doesn’t talk about in public.
2. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that proved a lot less interesting in practice than you thought it would be beforehand? Yeah, edible underwear just provoked a lot of laughing, not much foreplay or sex. Whipped cream just made a sticky mess, and an unexpected sticky mess, as opposed to an expected sticky mess, just ruins the mood.
3. How do you let your significant other know you're in the mood? How do you let a new person in your life know? Pretty much the same way to both: Just get the person’s attention and ask, "Hey…wanna play?" or if it’s a bit more of an immediate need, saying, "Hey, let’s fuck. Now!"
4. How does your significant other let you know he/she is in the mood? I don’t currently have a significant other, I have a few fuckbuddies. And they let me know they’re in the mood by calling me. Anytime I get a phone call from one of them, I know it means nookie.
5. Is there one that got away - a sexual opportunity you didn't realise was one at the time, or weren't ready for and regret missing ever since? Yeah. Two friends of mine were over and we were all drinking pretty heavy. They were partaking in some herbs as well, I never did. At any rate, one friend was out on the balcony just kinda zoning out, and the other one, I’ll call Phil, was inside with me. He said he was hot and disrobed to his boxers. We were sitting together on the couch and he kept leaning over onto me. I’m pretty sure he was erect as well. And I’d been lusting after Phil almost since I first met him. But, I didn’t do anything cause I thought he was more out of it than I was, and I didn’t want to take advantage of him. In actuality, I think he was just using it as a excuse to fulfill his bi-curiousity cause I know he can handle a lot more than he had the night and not be that bad off. And I wish I had taken him up on it. But no, my damn morals got the best of me. Regretted that ever since.

POLT

What implodes like a zeppelin, cracks like a pavement...

Rush Limbaugh (whom I shall call Zeppelin, cause he's as big as one and full of hot air) likes to condemn "liberals" for not knowing the Constitution, not knowing what it says, or understanding it.


Rush "The Zeppelin" Limbaugh was also the keynote speaker at this weekend's "Conservative Coven" in DC. And during the speech he said something to the effect that "The Constitution guarantees life (applause), liberty, freedom (applause) and the pursuit of happiness."

Which is all well and good, except that the line is "Life, liberty and the pusuit of happiness" nothing mentioned in it about freedom. And worse yet, that particular line comes from the Declaration of Independence, NOT the Constitution.

Geez, Rush "the Zeppelin" Limbaugh, live in a glass house much?

POLT Listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama

There are people who have said that I'm being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption - basically of gay rights - but with all due respect I humbly dissent. I'm not being brave - I'm being a decent human being. - Anne Hathaway, March 2008

I said ouch, this really hurts...

Revenge:


Ouch.

POLT Listening to "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie

"Mickey, do you have any vinegar?" "How should I know?" "It's your kitchen!" - The Doctor, Dr. Who

In your smile, forbidden love (Part 26)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?

Pink scuba suit...check.
Beauty pagent stance...check.
'Winning' smile...check.
Not needing to ask 'Does this make me look gay'? cause it's blatantly obvious the answer is yes...check.

POLT Listening to "Confusion (Pump Panel Reconstruction Mix)" by New Order

It was a very disturbing, slightly demonic - I thought - audition. - Simon Cowell, American Idol auditions

What's in a name, his life just a game...

Previously, Michelle M. left this comment:

I wonder if there are any cute, sexy or shirtless guys named Cecil, Ichabod or Milton?

Well, I wondered this as well, so I checked. I didn't find any shirtless one, but I did fine some cute ones.

Cecils:





Miltons:





And Ichabods:






The last one though cute, looks a smidge testy as well.

POLT Listening to "Getting Away With It" by Electronic Oil:40.43 (-3.69); Gas: 1.90 (+.01)

I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager stuffed up my skirt. How do you think I feel? - Gwen, Torchwood

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 188)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Folded Arms











POLT Listening to "Mickey" by Toni Basil

I have a freaking Viagra pill and a Vagina who manage to have better banter than these people. - Craig, Puntabulous

The sun, plastic fantastic, lobster telephone...

Well, my Lent resolution has stood for one day. This morning, when my alarm went off at 8:30, I turned it off and got out of bed. That's one more day than I thought I'd be able to last.

I took a load of laundry over to mom's. When she came from church, we talked about lunch. We normally have lunch together on Sundays, whether it's something she makes or we go out somewhere. We talked about her frying up hamburgers, but gradually, the conversation changed to one of going to Red Lobster. She had coupons.

Now one must understand, I am not a seafood fan. I've liked haddock for years. I can eat cod, but it's rather tasteless I think. I've been eating shrimp for only about 8 years or so, and I've found I like halibut as well. But that's about it. I just don't like the 'fishy' taste of seafood. Therefore, it's been well over 20 years since I set foot inside a Red Lobster. Not that I'm opposed to the place, but just that it didn't make much sense to go there when I'm only gonna get haddock.

But today, i thought, oh what the hell? Why not? Let's have some adventure in my life, ya know? So off we went.

I ended up ordering haddock.

Oh the garden salad was nice enough. the garlic biscuit was tasty. And the chocolate chip cookie filled with molten chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and drizzled with chocolate sauce was simply divine. But really, for the main course, all I could find was haddock. And it was good haddock, absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it was a bit pricey for just, well, haddock.

Still, it was a fun day out with mom, and that's always a good thing. Afterwards, we came back to her house. I attempted to read some more of the book I'm currently working my way through, but I was laying on the couch, in the living room, with the woodstove going fast and furious. And of course, I fell asleep. For over an hour.

At any rate, I came home and hung out here after the laundry was done. And since about 2:30 in the afternoon, other than a cup of apple sauce and some Fritos scoops (naturally) I've had nothing to eat. Just not hungry.

Don't know why. I've not had much energy or ambition all day. I'm blaming it on either the overcast cloudy day, or man-o-pause. Whichever. But on the upside, while I've had the exercise of an arthiric slug, I haven't eaten much all day, so it's all good.

POLT Listening to "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse

"Human?" "Yeah. Is that optional?" "With me it is." - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Coming back, hot dog, i'm waiting...

As I may have mentioned, I was bored last night for a bit. So I was cruising around on this site called http://www.ihasahotdog.com/. It makes me laugh, what with the cute puppies, and then I go to their political site and laugh there as well.

I found these two that I thought were particularly funny.



POLT Listening to "Material Girl" by Madonna

Don't...don't be eating hairy ice. There's nothing worse for you. - Auntie Barbara, YouTube

Drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 41)...

Superman Sundays

A Superman S tattoo, and it's mirror image. Course, being on this cutie, it could backwards, upside down, and colored wrong, and it'd still be hot.


POLT Listening to "Ruined In A Day" by New Order

Are we seriously going to act on something she just Googled? - Tosh, Torchwood

Part 155...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin Oil: 44.12 (-.64); Gas: 1.89 (-)

"You look horrible." "The makeup's really working good then." - Josh, The West Wing

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 147)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Pain :: Aspirin
Lego :: Build
Trooper :: Ticket
Flicker :: Photos
Character :: Play
Determined :: Frown
Wing :: Airplane
Control :: Leash
Automatic :: Pilot
Yeah :: Yeah!

POLT Listening to "Express Yourself" by Madonna

Yes it works now. My inbox just filled up Puntabulous. - ExAstrisScientia on Puntabulous