Monday, March 09, 2009

I hope, I hope you feel the same way too (Part 1)...

Why I'm Glad I'm Gay
Reason #3




Cute, Australian gay boys dancing about in their vaguely-rainbow-esque bikinis.

POLT Listening to...well watching the video again...and again.... Oil: 47.84 (+2.24); Gas: 1.87 (-.01)

In the immemorial style of young men under pressure, they decided to lie down for a while and waste time. - Michael Chabon, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier And Clay

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 189)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This Week's Theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Caps On Backwards!











POLT Listening to "Until The Day Is Done" by R.E.M.

I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks. - Britney Spears

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Now, way back down on the farm...

Today I spent the afternoon at the home of Bob & Don. This was the place AJ was staying at when he shot himself. At any rate, They were having a small dinner party, which included both of them, they're other housemate, Janet, myself, and James and Rich, a couple that's a friend of theirs.

I got there at about 12:45 and didn't leave until 8:00. We had a pork roast, scalloped potatos, green bean casserole, and sweet corn. Then we talked. Some of them went out to get ice cream, brownie mix, and strawberry shortcake for dessert. the other three of us sat on the front porch and talked. When the errand boys returned, we talked while they made the desserts and then we ate them. Indescribably delicious everything was. And then we talked some more. James and Rich left. Bob went to bed. Then I left, having had a very enjoyable and entertaining afternoon. And now, apparently, if I have enough leave and money, I'll be accompanying them on vacation to the Outer Banks in NC in September. How sweet THAT will be, if I can do it.

Behind their house, they have a vertiable zoo full of animals. Don took me back to see them. And of course I got some photos.




This is one of the baby goats they have there. They have such a highpitched, crack glass type of scream when they're held. It wasn't at all pleasant.




This is the white alpaca.




This is the peacock bought by AJ for them. He named it Shrader...his last name.




These are some more of the peacocks. The white one is another male named Petey. the rather plain one is a female, one of three there, called the Shrader-ettes, cause they belong to Shrader...or some such thing, what do I know about birds?




This is a pair of ducks that kept hissing at me. I asked Don why they were hissing at me. He said it was because they were mean, or they didn't like me, one or the other. How comforting.




This is the black alpaca they have, with the white alpaca behind him and a baby goat.




This is a large flock of guineas they have. I thought the only guineas in the animal kingdom were the ones that were pigs. Apparently, guineas are also some sort of chicken like, skwaulking like bird. Not terribly pleasant.




This my feet in the barnyard, standing amidst various kinds of animal shit: goat, alpaca, guinea, chicken, rooster, baby goat, pheasant, peacock, duck, I've no idea. I initially tried to avoid stepping on anything, but that quickly became impossible.




The black alpaca again. I don't know if it can be seen, but his face it white, and looks vaguely skull like. It freaked me the fuck out.




A bunch (flock, herd, horde?) of goats, grownup goats and baby goats.




This is Simba and Cody, watching us intently from outside the fence.




This is Beau and Sam, more of the dogpack, watching us as well.




Even more of the pack, Lady and Gracie. All the dog wanted inside to 'play' with the other animals.

I then decided I chase the flock of guineas into the corner and watch them the scramble around me, and film it.




As you can see from the end of it...I didn't intend them to jump up on and over the fence! I worried that my be a bad thing, but Don says they do it all the time and they'll come back inside. I was concerned, cause it was only my second time to their house, and I didn't want to be forever known as "That Guy That Chased Our Guineas Out Of The Yard And Into The Road Where They Were Slaughtered By Traffic" or some other such flattering name.

But despite the guinea chasing debacle, I had a great time. And i can't wait to do it again!

POLT Listening to "Destination Unknown" by Missing Persons

I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic, we bring them right down to the living room and show them off. -Julia, Designing Women

Grateful soul he's gone again...

Yesterday, in honor of T.O. getting booted off the Cowboys roster, I went out and bought three small Dallas Cowboys footballs!


No, actually, I was in a store called 5 & Under wherein everything was...wait for it....5 dollars and under. And I saw this three pack, and thought what the hell, it's only 5 bucks. So I bought them.

Nonetheless, I'll extend my sympathies to the players and fans of the Buffalo Bills. You've got T.O. and his ego to deal with now. Godspeed.


POLT Listening to "At My Most Beautiful" by R.E.M.

I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming. - Homer, The Simpsons

Drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (part 42)...

Superman Sundays

A Guido from Jersey, with a Superman S painted on his chest. Not sure WHY someone would want a photo of this...even less sure why I have it...but, well, there you go.


POLT Listening to "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie

I am surrounded by cow turds. - The Warden, Holes

Part 161...

Shirtlessness du jour

An early St. Patrick's Day gift.


POLT Listening to "New Year's Day" by U2 Oil: 45.60 (+.08); Gas: 1.88 (-)

Humans! We're stuck on the moon with the judoon and a blood sucking criminal and running out of air and you're asking personal questions! - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 148)...

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Mourning :: Grief
Approval :: Applause
Lotion :: Rubbing
Pespire :: Odor
Language :: Words
Defection :: Communist
Play :: Tag
Graphic :: Artist
Spicy :: Mexican food
In love :: Pffft...an illusion


POLT Listening to Mozart

He bought it because it was our first-year anniversary and it takes like a year for the sun to rotate around the earth. - Kirsten Dunst

Saturday, March 07, 2009

I got a fat ass playa...

Update:

The "giving up snooze buttons for Lent" deal? It last exactly one day: last Sunday. On Monday, pffft, right like I'm dragging my fat ass outta bed at 8:30 in the morning on day I don't HAVE to go to work. 10:30 and three resets of the alarm, and I outta bed and ready to go.

On the upside, I wasn't late for work at all this week, and didn't use ANY leave. And while I know this might just be assumed for some people's work week, for me...eh, not so much. I'm pretty sure this is only the third week so far this year that I wasn't late/didn't use any leave. yeah, that's how I roll.

Speaking of fat asses, today, I weighed 274 lbs. This would only be 1 pound lighter than last week, but it's taken me 24 weeks to lose the inital 20 that I lost since August, so it may not seem like much (and really isn't, when taken alone), but when added to the others I hope to soon lose, well this is the way I'm gonna it.

POLT Listening to nothing, as I'm now going to bed

From that piece of tape, you can see just exactly how butt ugly I am. - Terry Bradshaw

In your smile, forbidden love (Part 27)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?



I ain't asking, and they ain't telling.

POLT Listening to "A Little Respect" by Erasure

Don't ever get your feet cut off, I tell you. - The Legend, The Boys #15

My baby's got a secret (Part 117)...

Secret Saturdays





















POLT Listening to "Diesel Power" by The Prodigy

"Are you the devil?" "It's the ones who look like angels that worry me." - Angela, The West Wing

Part 160...

Shirtlessness du jour


POLT Listening to "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears For Fears Oil:45.52 (-.58): Gas: 1.88 (-.01)

You know, you have a stunningly superficial knowledge of what went on that it's almost embarrassing to listen to you. - Zbignew Brzezinski, to Joe Scarborough

Friday, March 06, 2009

Confrontation watch man, for the progress of nation...

Okay, my review of The Watchmen:



1) It is long. Way long. But worth the time.
2) Despite some pretty big changes, it sticks pretty much to the storyline.
3) Dr. Manhattan has a pretty nice penis. Who knew?
4) It's got a pretty damn fine soundtrack. I knew most of the songs.
5) I have no idea how they managed to compress all that into 2 hours and 45 minutes, but they did, and they did it very very well.
6) It's got Richard Nixon, Henry Kissenger, John F, Kennedy, Pat Buchanan, Eleanor Clift, John McLaughlin, and Lee Iacocca in it...and those are just the ones I noticed.



Of course, A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking didn't like it. That's kinda what I expected. Ghostie, who saw it earlier in the day, liked it. Ryan, my buddy from work, saw it with us, and he liked it. Gilligan was there with another friend, and after the show, we talked a bit, and HE liked it. So only ALCMDPP didn't like it...but then he's a loser with a capital L.

Tam, I know you were asking about taking your daughter...there's some violent fight scenes, with some graphic violence, but if she's seen a horror movie, she's seen worse. And there's one sex scene that a bit explicit, but not x-rated or anything. Oh, and there's the occasional Dr. Manhattan blue penis hanging around. I think you said your daughter is 13 or 14...I don't know your daughter's maturity level, but I'm pretty sure she could handle it.

It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it was the best they could possibly get in this format. The graphic novel is still better, but then you can cover much more in that medium than you can in a film. And it's certainly one of the most faithful to it's source comic book movies I've ever seen. Overall, I'd give it an A-.

POLT Listening to "True" by Spandau Ballet

When you're talking about me, keep your mouth shut. - Allan Lampart, Toronto mayor

Part 159...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Johnny Are You Queer?" by Josie Cotton Oil: 46.06 (+2.52); gas: 1.89 (-)

The thing she was wearing today scared the shit outta me. - Sweet P, Project Runway

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 175)...

Frenching Fridays


This week's theme: Kisses And Buns



POLT Listening to "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John

Nothing I like better than a well-organized fiasco. - Aran Tallbow, Dragons Of Highland Skies

Thursday, March 05, 2009

One honey donut and your lips are stuck to the seat...

I get out of bed each morning with just enough time to shower, shave, get dressed, and get to work. No time for a good breakfast. So I make a quick stop at a convience store, Rutters, nearby, and get a bottle of milk and something to eat: a breakfast sandwich from their deli, a Tastycake cherry pie, some fresh donuts, what have you.

One day this week, I got two powdered donuts, one creme filled, the other Bavarian creme filled! Yummy!

I got into my car, and put the milk bottle in the cup holder. I put the bag of donuts atop my backpack in the passanger seat. I intended to eat them on the way to work, so I left the opening on the bag facing me. And then I pulled out.

So yeah, I'm going around a curve out of the parking lot, and, yeah, the bag starts to slide. And not just slide but turn. Turn so that when it gets to the far side of the seat, and it tips over the side, the opening it pointed that way. Thusly, my two breakfast donuts slide right out and between the seat and the door.

And what could I do? I was in the midst of a turn into traffic, I could just stop, or take time to reach across or anything. I could however, sit there and watch the bag slide over and deposit the powder-covered donuts on the other side of my seat.

In between my swearing, I had presense of mind to pull over into the next parking lot I found, luckily less than a block from the store. I immediately reached over, grabbed the bag and yanked it back. This did little than insure that if the donuts had, in fact, not already left the bag, that they would now. Along with any and all powder that may or may not have been laying in the bottom the bag.

I had the bag, but I STILL wanted my donuts. I could get one by reaching over the to the opposite side of the seat. That was fine. The second one, though, apparently rolled down beside and behind the seat, cause I found it on the floor behind the seat.

I checked to make sure no errant hairs or dust bunnies were attached to them, and then I invoked the 5 second rule (even though it had been well longer than 5 seconds) and ate them anyway. Hey, I paid good money for them, and I was hungry!

I did manage to get a momento of my experience that day when I got home.


POLT Listening to "Nothing Really Matters" by Madonna

Six and a half million people have visited the Dome and six and a half left happy or happier. - P.Y. Gerbeau, chief executive of England's Millennium Dome

Part 158...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "More" by The Crystal Method Oil: 43.54 (-1.84); Gas: 1.89 (-)

It's not hard to figure out how he died, is it? His head hit the pavement at thirty miles and hour. Case closed. - Tosh, Torchwood, Another Life

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Parts 149, 150, 151)...

Due to an illness, a friend's sucide, and just general lack of motivation and interest, over the last two weeks, for the first time since March of 2005, I did not post an HNT. But this week, I've decided to rectify that situation, by doing THREE HNT's in one.

From Memorial Day 2000 to Labor Day 2003, I worked at a local Borders bookstore. Loved it. It was the best, worst paying job I've ever had. Fun, worked with fun people, and got a pretty sweet discount. And to a book lover like me, that was the most important thing.

At Borders, we all had to wear a badge. The badge had to have our name on it, but other than that, we were free to decorate it in any non-offensive or objectional way we saw fit. I decorated both sides as follows:


This side had a Superman S, which matches my Superman S tattoo I got in September 2000. Also, at one point, we were supposed to take these little beads and piece of wire, and make some kind of bracelet thing, I think. I made mine a rainbow, of course. And I kept that little thing attached to my badge the who time, even after we were supposed to not be using them anymore.


This side had my Canada flag on it, signifying my love of Toronto. I never could find a Toronto sticker, so this one had to suffice. I was constantly surprised at the number of customers who asked me if I was Canadian. And I was further surprised at the number of cute boys who asked me who were Canadian. This badge helped start many a conversation with a cute Canadian customer.


When I started, we got a badge with this color band. About halfway through my tenure there, they changed to badges with a black band, that didn't hang as low, and just weren't as cool. We were supposed to turn all the old badges in for new ones. I never did. I continued to wear the cooler non-black banded one the entire time I was there.

Upon leaving Borders, employees were to turn in their badges as well. Yeah, that didn't happen either.

So, now that I've gotten through the last few weeks, hopefully I'll go another three years before I miss another HNT! To see what others have posted, click HERE

POLT Listening to "Ray Of Light" by Madonna

"She ran off to Elgin and now she's fucking the entire Scottish Rugby team!" "I don't think, I mean she's only fucking one of them." - Sid's dad, Skins

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I like the little thing around your navel...

Polt Pop Quiz #16

Walking into Jonah's dorm room and seeing the following, what would the proper response be?


A) Dude, I don't think that's gonna make your innie an outtie.
B) Exercise, I believe, is the proper way to get your abs to stick out more.
C) Jonah, if you have any questions about suction, I'd be more than happy to demonstrate the principle.
D) Jonah, have some more beer, your clothes are still on! How can we play "Plumber and Naked College Boy With Clogged Toilet" if you're like that?
E) Jonah, you've got the wrong end of that thing...and your navel is the wrong hole.

POLT Listening to "Soul Bassa Nova" by Quincey Jones

I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war. - George W. Bush, Jan 27, 2002

Part 157...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama Oil: 45.38 (+3.91); Gas: 1.89 (-)

I learned that when you always show up on time, it's not appreciated - it's expected. Being fashionably late accomplishes two things: one, it challenges your supervisor as to whether 9 am sharp was meant as Eastern or Pacific time; two, it sends a message you have bigger fish to fry. - Dave Dunseath

Cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 85)...

Wife Beater Wednesdays

This week's theme: wife beaters with no bottoms.




POLT Listening to "Into The Ocean" by Blue October

"I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy." "And I can see Russia from my house!" - Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, SNL