(I know this is a LOT...sorry about that.  But it's just an apt description of the day I've had)

Two years ago, I lost a filling and when the dentist replaced it he said, "There's only about 10% tooth left here, we should put a crown on that before the remainder becomes unusable."  I told him I'd let him know when I was ready to do that.

Last week, when I was there for my twice a year cleaning, I went ahead and made the appointment for Sept. 29th to do the crown thing.

Yesterday afternoon, the filling came out.  Leaving a HUGE cavern in my jaw!  Or so it felt like.  Wonderful.  Typical.  couldn't it wait another three weeks?  Luckily, though, there was no pain.  This also kinda concerns me, cause I'm thinking, "Why ISN'T there any pain?  Are there no nerves left?"  But basically, I'm just glad it's not hurting.

SO last night, I called the dentist and left a message, asking if they could see me today sometime.  I said I'd even just come over and sit in the office and wait for something.  And I told them to call me back and let me know.

This morning, I got up early, on my day off, in case they called.  About 10:00, when they hadn't still called, I figured they weren't open today. (He works some Saturdays on call for emergencies [apparently all the dentists in town take turns doing this] and when he does, he takes Monday off).  

So I called in to work, told them I would be taking tomorrow off, just in case they could fit me in then.  If the dentist got me in and if I felt like it, I'd be in at noon.  No problem.

Then, I left for my 10:30 yearly appointment at the eye doctor.  Everything went okay.  My prescription changed slightly, so I'd need to lenses.  I'd had these particular glasses for two years, so I figured I'd need new.  but I discovered out current vision insurance fucking SUCKS!  In prior years, I only paid $25 total for everything.  The last few years under different insurance, I had to about a little under $100 for glasses.  But now, since I need some now, it's gonna cost me $205!  What the hell!  Granted it is progressive bifocals and sun sensitive lenses, but I had those in the previous lenses that cost less.  But eh, whatever, it is what it is.

Also, she put the drops in to dilate my pupils.  And then I had to wait.  And while waiting, the dentist office called.  I went outside to take it.  She told me the dentist had come in for a few hours, but was leaving at noon.  And then were closed tomorrow.  (It was 11:10).  If I could get there by noon he could look at me.

SO I went back in told, the people behind the counter and just blew outta there like the roadrunner!  I mean, I didn't HAVE to have a dilated pupil check, but I HAD to get the tooth taken care of.  SO, off I go, my eyes slight dilated, driving home, when I probably shouldn't have been.  I got home, walked to the dentist office and waited about a half hour.  But I couldn't read any of the magazines, or look at anything on my phone, cause my eyes were so dilated everything was SO blurry, I could focus to read.

Eventually the dentist takes me back and takes a look.  I told him about the appointment and asked if he could do something just temporarily.  Which he did: he put this stuff in the hole, that filled it, but not so that it fit perfectly.  I mean, I feel a ridge between the stuff and my tooth.  But the point is, I don't have a canyon anymore in my mouth.  Good times.

So i come home and call the eye place.  I tell them if the doctor can see me I can come out, but if not, that's cool, I'll get the dilation check next year.  The girl behind the counter says she can check with the doctor when she gets done with her current patient.  I tell her not to worry about it, I can wait until next year, and we hang up.

I call mom to tell her about my day so far, and while I'm doing that, the eye place calls.  She says the doctor will check me out if I can come out right now.  And so off I go, with even blurrier vision, driving my way out there, squinting the whole time because of the bright light.  But I got there, and waited just a short while, before she took me back.

I didn't like the bright light shining in my eyes, but it had to be done.  And when she finished, she said it was good thing she had come back out.  She said she saw some very small burst blood vessels in the back of my eyes.  Nothing that would require me to see an ophthalmologist...yet.   Nothing that would require laser surgery or injection...yet.   "Injections?"  I asked.  "Into my eyeball???"  She nodded.  "Am I asleep for that?"  She shook her head no.  "Oh...I can't do that...."  And she said, "Well then get the diabetes under control!"  

So, yeah.....I'm even MORE sure now I'll be on insulin by the end of the year, cause these results are gonna be faxed to my doctor.  But its a good thing, I think now.  Cause I really dont want these to get any worse and lose my vision!

I drove to mom's (wearing the sexy, stylin, plastic eye cover thingees she gave me to wear...but at least it made driving easier). and told her all this.  Then I came home, and sat here and basically just thought about it.  About my life.  And about what I need to do.  It scared me, frankly.  Which is exactly what I needed it to do.

I had plans to go see a movie with Stratcat and CC this evening, but honestly, I was trying to wrap my head around all this and didn't really feel like seeing a movie.  And I told them I was backing out and then spend a few hours just thinking about things and trying to get depressed or anything. 

And then outta the blue, I got a text from a semi-regular fuck buddy of mine.  It was two pics of his hard penis, and he was asking if he could show that to me in person.  Who am I to say no?  And for the next three hours, my eyes were the furtherest thing from my mind.  He's got a huge white boy booty...something that you don't normally see, in my experience, and so I was preoccupied with that.

When he left, I just sat here for a few minutes, realized it was an amazing day (after a hot and humid week last week) and decided to just get out and take a walk.  Only walked 20 minutes, but that was better than sitting on the couch for 20 minutes.  And then I prepared supper (having a wonderful texting conversation with john eliot), and then ate the salisbury steak I had made. (no carbs in steak).

And now I'm sitting here watching Monday Night Football and typing this.  And it was a crazy day, full of humor, craziness, shock, depression, bedtimesexxyfun, and good, fun times.  Not a bad day, all in all...but I still don't really wanna have too many more like this, ya know?

POLT