Wednesday, April 01, 2009

...(98 tarP) stoob dna strihs raew, trohs riah rieht tuC

Try a steak beagle for breakfast today! - McDonald's sign

POLT Listening to "Invicible" by Muse

The last one has some pretty awesome thighs, doesn't he? Actually, the legs on the next to last one are pretty nifty too!







Since this is April Fool's Day, I give you THIS week's theme: SLEEVES!

Wifebeater Wednesdays

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Money made your eyesight all blurry...

Today after work, I had my annual eye exam. Being diabetic, I pay a bit more in insurance to get a yearly exam instead of the standard two year exam. Gotta make sure there's no gloucoma in the old eyeballs.


Anyway, before we started the exam, I had to do stuff on these three machines. The first was checking my peripheral vision, the girl said. (and her voice, oh, it was high pitched, and irritating, like a poodle on helium yapping away) it was like a video game, I had to look in and when I saw flashing lines, hit a button. She said I only missed one. I guess that's good.

Then I had to look into something that showed a cartoon of a highway running off into the distance with a hot air balloon above it. All I did was look. It was measuring something, I got no idea what, but apparently I did well on that also.

Then the last one was what I hate: The puff of air. I got in both eyes, but everything was okay with that as well, I guess. Don't know really what that does, but no one got concerned about any of the tests.

Then I was handed off to the doctor. He asked if I had any problems, and I told him I was having trouble with really small print, had to get a good light behind me and hold it close. He said it might be time for bi-focals, and I groaned. He said it affects everyone sometime between 35 and 40 something, so i was right in there. I guess that was to make me feel better. It just reminded me how old I was.

He gave me a card with some writing on it, and I could see it fine. Then he put two lenese over my glasses and asked if that was any better. It was, a little. I had to think about it, though, to make sure it was jsut a little better. He took the lenses away and then brought them back. I was still studying it when he yanked the lenses away and said, "You don't need them yet. When I put the lenses up, you're supposed to see an immediate and marked improvement. If you have to think about it, then you're not ready for bifocals." I cheered. He continued, "But i've made a note so I know to check it every exam from now on." I groaned again.

Other than that, after all the tests, he said my left eye got just a bit more near-sighted, but there was no reason to change my presciption. Basically, everything's pretty much fine now. I cheered again.

Then I went out front and got to chose a new pair of frames. I'm getting the lenses that change with the sun again, and I'm getting some kind of lighter lenses as well. the insurance pays for everything but the light lenses, so my entire bill when I pick up the glasses will be $25. That's it. And this might be the first year, in the 13 years that I've had eye insurance through work, that I've had to pay anything...although I might have had to pay the $25 for the light lenses the last time, I'm not sure.

Yeah, I bitch about my job, but the insurance ROCKS!

So hopefully before too long, you'll see a photo here of Uncle Polt's new glasses...and him in them, presumably.

POLT Listening to "Map Of The Problematique" by Muse

"What did you get me?" "What's six times twenty four?" "Um...a lot?" "I got you a lot of bottle rockets." - A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking

Part 180....

Shirtlessness du jour


POLT Listening to "Shining Light" by Ash Oil: 49.66 (+.84); Gas: 2.05 (-)

"She's a policewoman." "She's not a policewoman." "She is. I've seen her bra." - Danny, Hot Fuzz

Monday, March 30, 2009

Doctor suess, disneyland and mother goose is no nursery rhyme...

Ah yes, Moonlighting.



Back when Bruce Willis was funny and entertaining. So unlike now.

POLT Listening to "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen

No way. No how. No McCain-Palin. - Hillary Clinton, July 2008

Imagination is crazy, your whole perspective gets hazy...

Several weeks ago, I was in the movie theater and needed to use the restroom. Upon entering and turning the corner, this is what I saw.


I couldn't help but wonder what had happened. I mean, not that it affects my life any, and even considering that I may not WANT to know, it just struck me as strange. And then I started feeling sorry for the poor urinal, having to be covered up like that when all his urinal buddies were still out, open and working. And I wondered how much taunting the unwrapped ones did of the wrapped one. What insults did they throw his way? What kinda of abuse did he have to endure because of this situation, which surely was not of his creation?

And then another guy walked past me to one of the urinals, and I realized I like the look he was giving me, so I went into one of the stalls, did my business, returned to the movie, and didn't think about it again, until I saw this photo.

Who knew an over-active imagination and anthropomorphtism could be potentially harmful?

POLT Listening to "Stronger" by Kanye West

It's England. You can't throw a plate of fish and chips without hitting a castle, right? - Black Canary, Green Arrow/Black Canary #8

Forget the scandal, forget the sleaze, we'll drag...

I'm not sure how many of you have heard this, but Portland's openly gay mayor is in a bit of a bind right now. Apparently, he had an affair with an 18 year old gay boy. Since the kid was legal, I'm a bit unsure of the scandal, I haven't read up it as much as I should have. I don't know if there was a cover-up, or lying under oath, or hush money changing hands, or if the kid was a hustler, or if he was under 18 when it started or what exactly.

But it HAS to be more than just the fact he was 18. I mean, come ON, what self-respecting, hormonal gay man WON'T have sex with an 18 year old. And 18 year old named Beau. Beau Breedlove (seriously!). And an 18 year old named Beau Breedlove that looks like this:


I mean, I'd fault him more if he the opportunity and did NOT having an affair with this hot guy!

UPDATE: Upon more reading, I've discovered the scandal seems to be that the affair started before Beau was 18. ...Oopsie...

POLT Listening to "You Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer Oil: 48.72 (-3.68); Gas: 2.05 (-)

I'm not comparing your head to a butt plug, but it does seem to spend a lot of time up your ass. - Bill Maher

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 192)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: 10 Good Reasons To Stay In Bed.











POLT "I'm Your Boogie Man" by KC & The Sunshine Band

"Which letter of the alphabet sounds exactly the same as a term for a female sheep?" "Baaah?" - Contestant on the Weakest Link

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Boy, don't try to front....

Earlier today, I did something that i thought I would NEVER do. I'm a bit disturbed that I did do it, but I'm certain Enrickyricardo will be pleased.

I actually pruchased and downloaded from iTunes a song by Britney Spears.

I KNOW!!!!

Much to my surprise, I did not spontaneously combust. Or turn into a pillar of salt. Or go blind. But surely, Polt buying Britney Spears music IS one of the Seven Signs Of The Apocolypse. And if it's not, it really oughtta be.

I bought "Womanizer", basically just because of the YouTube video of that cute deaf guy signing to it. I kept flipping back to that and watching it...over and over again. He's just mesmorizing. And then I found that I was humming the song, even when not watching the video. So I knew I HAD to have it.

But every time I hear it, I'm not hearing Britney, oh no, that would never do. Instead, I'm seeing the hot deaf Micheal, signing it. And that makes me feel less oogy and soiled for enjoying it.

But I'm still watching overhead for a blast of fire and brimstone from above.

And just cause I love the video so much, and it's MY blog, I'm reposting it right here.




POLT Listening to "Where Do I Begin" by The Chemical Brothers

"Do you think this is the end of the world?" "Don't be silly, Andy. The world won't end on your shift." - Gwen, Torchwood

Corey's eyes are like a jungle, he smiles...

Last night, after work, I hung out with my friend from a few weeks ago, the one I thought might be gay but wasn't. From now on, for simplicity's sake, I shall call hiom Corey, only because that's his name.

I was looking to the first season of Skins on DVD, and I had checked the Borders and Best Buy here in town, and they didn't have it. Oh, both could order it, but I wanted to try a few other places in the area. SO after work, I picked up Corey and we went to Frederick. Nothing at Best Buy, nothing at Borders. And then we went to the mall to check out the new Barnes&Noble there.

Great Ceasar's Ghost, that place was huge! I couldn't believe how big that place was. I was overwhelmed. My buddy from my Border's day: Big Joe, I had heard, was the manager there. So Corey and I are wandering around in the DVD section, when who should suddenly appear but Joe! I asked him if he was going to throw us out, and he said he had to have some kinda fun around there. Gotta love Joe. I found out he was the assistant manager, but still, in a store that size, that's pretty impressive. At least to me. He and I talked a bit, catching up somewhat. It was great to talk to him again. Oh, and they didn't have Skins either. Looks like I'll be ordering that online here before too much longer.

So then Corey and I ended up driving through downtown Frederick, in the rain, just cause, well, there was really nothing else we could think of to do. We ended up driving back to town, and we went to Cafe Del Sol to eat. I love the food. And Corey did too. We even had dessert, the canolis, which i know nearly put me into a diabetic coma, but dammit, they are SO good.


So then having already hung out for like 5 hours, and with me being very tired, having gotten up at 6:30 to get to work, I took him and then returned home myself.

But damn, that kid is fascinating. Our conversation had a few awkward moments when I think we were both trying to think of something to talk about, but they were few and didn't last long. Cause once we hit a topic, be talked about it for a long time. He's just so interesting. And so straight. *SIGH*. Seriously, man, I could fall hard for him. But whatever, as I wrote previously, at least I've got a damn good friend out of the deal, ya know.

he doesn't like his picture taken, but I sneaked a few. Well the first one wasn't actually snuck. I just pulled the camera out and took his picture. He tried to turn away, and that's why its a bit blurry, but I still got him in all his cuteness.



The second one is from Borders, when he was bent over looking at comic books (man, can he debate and discuss comic books!). This one made me giggle, just his positioning and all.


Yeah, I do have the maturity level of a 15 year old, thanks for noticing.

POLT Listening to "The Hell Song" by Sum 41

"This feels funny." "My tits feel funny?" "No, you've got a lovely...handful." - Sid, Skins

I drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 45)...

Superman Sundays

If one must lounge by the pool on a warm summer's afternoon, one must naturally wear one's Superman undies/briefs/swimming gear. To do otherwise would be tres gouche!


Laying your Superman cape down first so you are on that and not on the oh-so-toasty bricks thus preventing any discomfort from the heat radiating off the bricks, is optional.

POLT Listening to "Give It 2 Me" by Madonna

"So he doesn't even know I'm dead?" "Well, you're not anymore." - Gwen, Torchwood

Part 179...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer Oil: 52.40 (+.02); Gas: 2.05 (-.01)

The McCain campaign is like the Hindenburg, full of hot air and going down in flames. - dkan, Oct. 11, 2008

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 151)...

Unconscious Mutterings
These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Road trip :: White Castle, baby!
Pool hall :: Pool tables
Extraordinary :: Gentlemen
Jackson :: Brown
Heartfelt :: Sincere
Wet :: Lube
Strangle :: Choke
.com :: .org
Touched :: Caressed
Insipid :: Dull


POLT Listening to "Attitude" by Seude

It's totally wiped out...it's devastating - it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground. - George W. Bush, from Air Force One above New Orleans

Saturday, March 28, 2009

I got a fat ass playa (Part 3)...

Week Two

Contestant: Starting weight - current weight - weight lost

Mark: 262 lbs - 259 lbs - 3 pounds!
Polt: 275 lbs - 274 lbs - 1 pound.

So Mark won the first week, and is in the lead. But we'll see how long that lasts!

POLT Listening to "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors

I've found the later you get up in the day, the less often you'll lie to yourself about how unique and brillant and successful you're going to be. - Dave Dunseath

Part 178...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "Touched By The Hand Of God" by New Order Oil: 52.38 (-.02); gas: 2.06 (-)

Hey I've got things I'd rather be doing too, Wolverine, and people with better hair to do them with. - Spiderman, X-Men And Spiderman #2

My baby's got a secret (Part 120)...

Secret Saturdays

These come from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/.


















































POLT Listening to "Hoodoo" by Muse

The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door. And believe me, they've tried. - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Friday, March 27, 2009

Feel me? i'll write a graphic page...

Today, on Puntabulous, Craiggers posted his review of the Watchmen graphic novel (read it HERE). He also asked for recommendations for other graphic novels to read. And this got me thinking. Since I have a HORDE of graphic novels, I thought I'd go through and find my top ten favorites.

This list will exclude The Watchmen, which is univesally, to both critics and fans alike, as THE best graphic novel, hell, THE best comic book story EVER done. Since it IS that, it's making the list, and being at the very top is a given. I've also excluded series that are collected in graphic novel format (like Preacher and Sandman, of which I have all the graphic novels, and which are damn good stories in their own right). I'm just including things that were put out as graphic novels, or mini-series later collected into grahic novel format.

And I'm not listing them in the order of how I like them, cause that's just frankly too difficult to do.


1) Camelot 3000. From the early 80's, one of the first, I beleive, to be released in graphic novel format. It's got outstanding Brian Bolland artwork. The storyline is that King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table return in the year 3000. But they come back different: one in the body of a hulking alien brute, another in the body of a samuri, and yet another in the body of a woman. the last makes an interesting issue with that knight's woman love, who returns as well, and in the body of a woman. For the Reagan years of the early 80's, it was pretty daring, and one of comics first mature adult protrayals of homosexuality. But a great read overall.


2) Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. From 1985, the same time as The Watchmen. This one's written and drawn by 300's and Sin City's Frank Miller. Batman comes out of retirement to deal with gang problems and such in Gotham City. But Batman's in his 60s. A great story. It's got Superman, a few other DC heroes, the Joker, Dr. Ruth Westheimer and David Letterman characatures, a teenaged girl as Robin, and a whole new take on Batman.


3) X-Men: God Loves, Man Kills. From the early 80's as well, and again, one of the first put out in the graphic novel format. The second X-Men movie was loosely based on this, but I think the graphic novel did it better. A religious wingnut is persecuting mutants, calling them demons and devils, and such. Great story of the evils of prejudice and intoleance and the harm they can do.


4) The Golden Age. This is one of my favorites, but that's just cause I'm such a fan of the Justice Society Of America. This is the story of what could have happened to the JSA and other WWII heroes after the war was over. The ending, I swear, it blew me away. I still remember reading it, and being totally surprised by it, even actually gasping when everything was revealed. Without sufficient knowledge of the JSA, one might be a bit lost. I can't recommend this one enough, nonetheless, I can't recommend this one enough.


5) JLA: Identity Crisis. This one's only five years old or so, but it's great. Brad Meltzer is an author, and it's clear he wrote this thing like a novel. It's a great murder mystery, with earth shattering concequences for some of DC's heroes, and it too took me buy surprise when it was all revealed. Consise and well written, this one is a must read.


6) Batman: The Killing Joke. From the mid to late 80's. This one has more of Brian Bolland's outstanding art, and is written by Alan "The Watchmen" Moore. Anything with the Joker in it HAS to be good (usually), but this one too has some major changes for a venerable DC character. And those changes have stuck. The character's had to deal with, and even prospered with, the changes made 20 years ago. But a great story as well.


7) Kingdom Come. Unbelievably well drawn and written story from the genius Alex Ross. I loved it, cause it had a negative commentary on the "dark heroes" that were so prevalent at the time. Superman, the original 'boy scout' had to return and save the world from the 'indiscriminate killing' 'heroes' that had taken over. But the way it done, and how beautifully its illustrated is amazing. And to see the future of so many of today's heroes is a hoot too. But all make sense. A great story.


8) Batman; The Long Halloween. A 13 part miniseries dealing with Batman trying to catch a killer than strikes only on Holidays, starting on Halloween one year. I think each of his villains appears at least once: the Joker, Poison Ivy, Two-Face, The Riddler, Scarecrow, etc. A great mystery that once more, stumped me. I couldn't figure it out, and the revelation was a total surprise and shock. But an outstanding story as well.


9) Marvels. The first piece that gave a lot of exposure to Alex Ross. the whole story is told from the point of view of a newspaper photographer and following the beginning and rise of the Marvel Universe, from Spider-Man, to the Fantastic Four, to the Avengers, to the X-Men. All from the 'common man's' eyes. A great down to earth story.


10) JLA: The Nail. What if a nail had prevented John and Martha Kent from discovering the rocket carrying Superman, and there was a Man Of Steel? This is that story. Written and drawn in his incomparable style, Alan Davis does a fun, credible version of this possible universe. And as I said, anything with the Joker in it HAS to be good, right?

I welcome any comments on this: agree/disagree, whatever. And if you haven't gotten these graphic novels, you really should. They're a great way to waste a rainy day reading.

POLT Listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama

Earlier this year, I had my hair feng-shuied. - Jerry Hall

Part 177...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "Thank You And Goodbye" from the Evita soundtrack Oil: 52.40 (-1.94); Gas: 2.06 (+.02)

Well, mjust just came towards me with a great big bloody needle, didn't he? My dog bit him and I kicked him in the nuts. - Marie, Torchwood

Keep your numbers mounting (Part 49)....

55 Fiction Fridays

Jenny had never seen "the Ping Pong Ball Trick" in person.
Ryan said he could do it and agreed to show her.
He took the ping pong balls and left the room.
He returned, lowered his jeans and Calvin Kleins,
concentrated and...


Jenny got a faceful of air.
The balls were still in Ryan's hand.

POLT Listening to "Justify My Love" by Madonna

"This looks like a nice little town." "Try not to homo it up." - A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking

Soem boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 178)...

Frenching Fridays


This week's theme: Triples kisses!




POLT Listening to "Hip Hop Hooray" by Naughty By Nature

She is numb from the toes down.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Womanizer, you're a womanizer...

Okay, well all know how I feel about Britany Spears (and if you don't, just peruse the Palace a bit, it shouldn't take too long to find an appropriate derogatory comment).

I will say, however, the "Womanizer"...isn't totally awful. It's mildly appealing to me, just cause I think it would be fun to dance to. Kinda like "Toxic".

I will admit to enjoying the eye candy in the video...but I can enjoy that just as well with the sound muted.

However, I have discovered, thanks to Scott, of a video of it I can enjoy...and when watching it, the song doesn't seem so...Britany-eqaue.

"Womanizer" performed to American Sigh Language:



A cute guy, periodically showing his body, and presumably deaf, with pretty sweet dance moves makes nearly ANY song enjoyable. (Are you listening Nickelback?)

POLT Listening to "Womanizer" by...*shudder* Britany Spears

"No flirting with the cute guys in the cars we pass?" "No." DAMMIT!" - Polt

Part 176...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "Native Step" by Divine Oil: 54.34 (+1.47); gas: 2.04 (+.04)

It's pretty ugly in a great way. - Kelli, Project Runway 5

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 154)...

once more, it's time for...


I thought, after three years of doing this, and only two ass-shots the whole time, I should finally show a front shot. With no pants or underwear on. After much debating, thought and consideration, I decided to just go ahead and do it. The results are Right Here. You have been warned.

To see what others posted, click HERE.

POLT Listening to "Ride Of The Valkyries" by the Budapest Symphony Orchestra

I don't want to be flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water with my ankles bleeding while a herd of cats use me as a clawing post! - Polt

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Living to get his freak on, sporting his leopard skin thong...

Polt's Pop Quiz #8

What is the most disturbing thing in the photo below?


A) Joey's wearing a pink girly-esque thong.
B) Joey's apparently all wet, when everyone else is dry.
C) Joey's facial expression.
D) There is entirely too much fizz in the cup of beer.
E) There's apparently a SpongeBob SquarePants box at an adult party.
F) Nothing. Now just shut your piehole and enjoy the view.

Since I'm the one designing the quiz, I think the answer is obvious.

POLT Listening to "My Beautiful Friend" by The Charlatans UK

I'm not an 8 year old girl, but being a 38 year old gay man, I'm the next best thing. - Stephen Rader, Are You There, Blog? It's Me Stephen

Part 175...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "The Times They Are A-Changin'" By Bob Dylan Oil: 52.87 (-.55); Gas: 2.00 (+.04)

Crutches are only good for two things: getting awesome parking at the mall and sympathy dates with hot chicks. Otherwise, they'll just slow you down. - Dave Dunseath

Cut their hair short, wear shirts, and boots (Part 88)...

Wife Beater Wednesday

Today's theme: I'm feeling a little blue.





POLT Listening to "Clocks" by Coldplay"

"Ashbury Park, where The Boss started." "I don't like my boss." Bruce Springsteen, THE Boss, not your boss!" - A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Part 174...

Shirtlessness du jour



POLT Listening to "Warning" by Green Day Oil: 53.42 (-.21); Gas: 1.96 (+.07)

Bush's final State Of The Union Address and Groundhog Day fall in the same week. As it has been pointed out, "It's an ironic juxraposition of events: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, while the other involved a groundhog." - Donnie V2.0, Famous Like Me

I fell in love with a roller derby queen, around and round...

Roller Derby



Hot chicks in fishnets, fighting each other on wheels.
While it does nothing for me, I can certainly appreciate the allure for others.

POLT Listening to "Baby, It's A Wild World" from the Skins Soundtrack

Who cares? Enemy targets are in sight, and I'm off my meds! - The Blazing Skull, The New Defenders #1

An utterance, information, dont mince words (Part 132)...

TMI Tuesdays
These come from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/.

1. Ever Googled a date, a potential date or an ex? No, but I have Googled a few ex's. Just to see if they're in jail or wanted by the cops.
2. Do you gossip? I'm a gay man over 40, isn't it a given?
3. How many people do you completely trust? My mother, a few friends. Less than 10 total.
4. Have you ever had sex in car? The backseat, the frontseat, on the hood, and while I was driving. I guess only the trunk is left uniniated.
5. What is your best flirting technique: innuendo, telling a dirty joke, talking about sex life, or physical contact? Throwing out a little double entrendre whilst gently touching the lad's arm or shoulder, laughing slowly and deeply and saying more with my eyes than I do with my words tends to work best.
Bonus (as in optional): How many times is the most you have ever had sex in a 24 hour period? Four. But with myself, it's about Eight or Nine. Oh, to be young again.

POLT Listening to "Aura" by The Church

Sybil...Sybil....Sybil....SHUT UP! - Simon Cowell, American Idol auditions