Give up living and go shopping instead...

Today, I got up about 9:30, putzed around online, showered, went to the Post office to mail some stuff, to the Credit Union to cash some checks, then to Wal-Mart (don't judge) and bought some stuff I had been looking for, then to Lowe's, where I found nothing I wanted, then to the Dollar Store where, to my surprise, I DID find things I needed, and then to K-Mart, where I bought things I had no idea I even wanted or needed.

I got McDonalds and ate it at mom's while I read the paper. Then I came home, threw some laundry on the washer, put the purple tree skirt around the purple Christmas tree, took all the gifts I had bought over the last two days to the back bedroom, got the small Dallas Cowboys Christmas tree off the attic and set it up in my bedroom including the new ornament I bought today, changed the bedsheets and hung a few other new decorations I bought today.

I list all this NOT to brag, but just to point out how crazy it is, all this stuff I'm doing. I hate stores crowded with idiotic shoppers, traffic filled with drivers not paying attention to thier driving and trying to find the stuff I want to buy both decoration and gift wise. I usually trudge through it and get it all done, but I'm rarely happy about it.

HOWEVER, this year, the first weekend of December, man I'm ALL about the shopping and decorating! I was thinking about this this afternoon and I think I know why it's happened. Since last Thursday or so, it's been freakin' cold! Temps in the low 40's, sometimes even the 30's. And it's been snowing off and on all weekend. No accumulation, I suppose I should just say it's been flurrying. But nonetheless, it FEELS like Christmas.

In the past few years, it's been warmer, in the 50's and high 40's. Hell, I remember driving home from work one year one week exactly from Christmas, and I was only wearing a sweatshirt, and didn't have the heat on. And I remember thinking, "Man, this weather is more like a week before Halloween, not Christmas." It's kinda hard to get into the "Christmas Spirit" when it feels like it's mid-October.

So that's the story I'm going with as to why I'm into Christmas so early this year. Oh also, two radio stations have gone all-Christmas, all the time, which at first, kinda torked me off. But now, it's pretty mcuh all I listen to on the way to and home from work. That probably factors in also.

At any rate, Ho-ho-ho, Merry Christmas (early) to you all!


The Dallas Cowboys stocking I got today, hung in the living room.


The purple tree skirt. Now the tree's bottom doesn't look naked.


Dallas Cowboys Christmas Tree. I use the Tony Romo jersey as a treeskirt type of thing.


The Cowboys tree lit up and shining out the bedroom window.


And the front of the house: Christmas tree shining through front door, Cowboys tree shining up in bedroom window.

POLT

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 281)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys Flexing One Arm.











POLT

HAIKU

Worst part of living

Alone? No one to scratch that

Back itch you can't reach.

POLT

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 236)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Twitter :: Tweets
Facebook :: Farmville
MySpace :: Obsolete
Friend :: Pal
Subscribe :: Magazine
Conflict :: Fight
Ignore :: Snub
Drama :: Comedy
Hide :: -N-Seek
List :: Schindler's

POLT

Ohhhh, a shopping we will go....

As we all know, it's December. And today was a Sunday. Which usually means, since all the crazy idiotic morons are out Christmas shopping on weekends. Which also usually means, I don't go anywhere NEAR a store on a day like today.

Except today, I did. After mom got home from church, we went to Hagerstown to do some Christmas shopping of our own. We got the stores about noon and while they were busy, it wasn't insane. Crowds were navigable, lines weren't long, parking was not a problem.

We went to The Christmas Tree Store, to Kohl's, to Michael's Crafts Store, and despite having a small part of my soul die, we went to Target (I know, I know, I'm not shopping there anymore cause of their political contribution to an anti-gay candidate, but when Mama Polt wants to go somewhere, and she was nice enough to drive, well, I can't really argue).

At the last store, it was after one, and the crowds got larger and stupider. And they started to tick me off more. But luckily we didn't have to spend a lot of time there. And then we ate at the obesity-inducing Golden Corral buffet.

During the shopping, I got some presents for some friends, the gifts for some of my young cousins, wreaths for the front and back door and ribbon for each, my annual tacky Christmas tie purchase, a gift for mom, a Christmas candle for me, my annual new ornament for the purple Christmas tree. I still need to get the hat or earmuffs with pointy elf ears, a set of jingle bells and another line or two of Christmas card holders.

A trip to Wal-Mart may in the cards tomorrow.

POLT

I drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 104)...

Superman Sundays

This week, we have a Superman tattoo and a peek at a tooshie thrown in for good measure.


POLT

Rockin' around the Christmas tree....

It's the first weekend in December, and that can mean only one thing: Time to decorate Casa De Polt! Just in case anyone else would wish to attempt such an endeavor, I've made an easy step by step list for you. Follow it, and you too can like in Polt Christmas Style!

Step 1: Clear a space in your house for a Christmas Tree.



Step 2: Bring artificial, already-put-together-with-the-lights-already-strung-together-on-it-when-you-bought-it Christmas Tree up out of the basement.



Step 3: Bring tub and bag of Christmas Tree decorations up from the basement.



Step 4: Get the local All-Christmas-All-The-Time radio station on your computer and play it whilst decorating, to put you in the mood.



Step 5: Call Mama Polt and have her come down and help. And bring some Mama Polt's Homemade Christmas Cookies.



Step 6: Realize that the tub of tree decorations you brought up contains decorations you no longer use. Got back to basement and bring up box of current tree decorations.



Step 7: Enjoy a Mama Polt Homemade Cookie to celebrate how well things have gone so far.



Step 8: Straighten and rearrange tree limbs to make it look semi-realistic and not like the tree's spent the whole year in the basement and got jarred severely whilst being brought up from the basement. Recall how limbs that are made to lift toward the top of the tree go DOWN the basement stairs a lot easier than they do coming UP the stairs.



Step 9: Place the star on top.



Step 10: After trying to locate all the plugs on the lights that came prestrung on the tree, arguing between you about how they plug together, and finally getting all three sets of lights to light at the same time, adjust the star again.



Step 11: Wrap the three strings of purple beads around the tree.



Step 12: Place the large sparkly balls on the trees limbs.



Step 13: Accidently snap a photo with your camera as your moving it.



Step 14: Place the small sparkly balls on the trees limbs.



Step 15: Place the large purple snowflakes on the tree limbs.



Step 16: Place individual ornaments on the tree limbs; like the purple wooden one Chris D. made just for you last year,



AND, the glass on that reads "Son" that Mama Polt got you,



AND, the pretty prism stars you bought for yourself,



AND the wooden, rainbow ornament that no tree should be without.



Step 17: Enjoy another Mama Polt Homemade Cookie to celebrate completion of tree decoration.



Step 18: Hang the stocking about the house, including one relative to the size of the gift you want.



Step 19: Hang the purple stocking, with care.



Step 20: Hang the SuperSanta Polt Stocking a co-worker made for you one year (notice my name at the top, the Superman S on Santa's chest, and how his blue bags of gifts looks strikingly like a cape).



Step 21: Hand the first line of Christmas Cards holders (and don't forget to go buy more holders!)



Step 22: Have Mama Polt string a string of lights up the bannister.



Step 23: Enjoy a Mama Polt's Homemade Cookie in celebration of her completing the task.



Step 24: Replace the battery in your little LCD purple Christmas tree.



Step 25: Place the Christmas tablecloth on the table and decorate it with Mama Polt's Homemade Cookies, your LCD purple Christmas tree, AND VUBOQ's handmade gift vase!



Step 26: Stand proudly next to your tree and grin cheesily at your finished tasks.



And there you have it! Follow these simple steps and you too can have a house decorated like Polt's For-Real Palace! And now, it's time to hit Mama Polt's Homemade Cookies again1

POLT

My baby's got a secret (Part 86)...

Secret Saturdays

This week's continuing theme: Asian Secrets


POLT

On the second time around...

Sorry posting was noinexistant last night, but after work, I got an unexpected call from a friend. So after I had dinner with mom (baked spaghetti and homemade garlic bread! YUM!) he came over and we spent the night.

He was much more adventurous this time even getting to do his first anal. And, as I said, spending the night. He's ditched the last girlfriend he was dating, which is good, cause really, she wasn't good for him. He's met another girl, and they've been talking but not really dating or anything yet. I got the impression he wanted to fool around again before he started dating this new girl. He didn't come out and say that, but that's the impression that I got...that he didn't want to 'cheat' on her once they started dating. Which is admirable.

His enthusiasm was so cute, even if his techniques were a bit lacking at times. And despite how much I'd love to do this again, I really do hope things work out for him and the new girl, cause she sounds very nice and like she would be good for him.

But nonetheless, that's why there was no post last night...I was a smidge preoccupied.

POLT

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 246)...

Frenching Fridays

Continuing this week's theme: Kissing Asians




POLT

Gotta lay low til' you get to the keypad...

Who are the geniuses who decided to put the keypad on a telephone unpside down from a keypad on an adding machine or calculator?




When I was a shift supervisor at CVS drugstore, one of my duties was on nights I closed to make the deposits. I had to total up the checks on an adding machine and attach the tape to the checks. At any rate, I got to the point where I didn't even have to look at the keys, the fingers on my right hand just knew which key to hit when my eyes saw the amount on the check. Easy-peasy.

But now when I'm dialing the phone and looking at the number cause it's not familiar, like at work sometimes....like today for instance, the fingers on my right hand end up resorting to what they knew before and typing a 3 instead of a 9 or a 1 instead of a 7.

If the inventor of the phone keypad and the inventor of the adding machine had just gotten their shit straight, this world would be a much more consistent, not to mention less accident prone, place.

POLT