Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause....

So, I had a call from mom just now and ended up yelling at her.

Let me tell you why.  She told me "You won't believe what I did today."  And I assured her I would never even try to figure out what she did on any given day.  So follow this scenario...if you dare.

She thought it was time to put the flannel sheets on the bed.  But when she had taken the other ones off, before putting the new ones on, she decided she needed to flip the mattress.  Once she dragged the mattress off, she thought she should flip the box springs around, which she did.  Then she managed to get the mattress back up and the flannel sheets on.  But while doing so, she thought the room was pretty dusty, so she thought to dust it.  While doing that, she was dusting windowsills.

Now, a slight digression: On the north side of my mom's bedroom are two windows.  The overlook the slightly slanting roof of the living room.  There's also one window from another room over looking that roof.  Now back to the story (and yeah, I'm pretty sure that you can already see where this is going...)

So while dusting the windowsill, she noticed that under the window to the other room, she thought she saw a crack between the roof and the wall, and she thought that may be that was where some water had been leaking in.  So, she went all the way to the basement, got some caulking, then crawled out the window.

Now before we go further allow me to reiterate...she CLIMBED OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW!  Onto the sloping roof!  And then put caulking in where she thought a hole was.  And THEN, she decided to walk all the way across the roof to the EDGE where the chimney is to see how the top of it was doing.  The FUCKING chimney.  Did I mention it was ON THE EDGE OF THE ROOF!  With a TWO STORY drop off right next to her.

And after I yelled at her about that, she says, all calm like, "Yeah, well I went back inside then, because it was cold out there.  And I was still in my pajamas."

WHAT THE HELL?????

I yelled at her some more, while she kinda chuckled.  And she said, "I dont think you're allowed to yell at your mother."  And I told I WAS going to yell at her.  And I asked her if she knew why.  I said, that was because, "When you fall off the freakin' roof and break several major bones in your body and are in traction in the hospital in a full body cast and can't walk, I'll be able to be in that room slapping you in the forehead and telling you I TOLD YOU SO!"

"I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to slap your mother either."

"Oh, I'm slapping you!  On the forehead.  There will definitely be slapping!"

My mother....*SIGH*.....

POLT