Thursday, December 06, 2007

Baby shoes, baby slippers, baby spoons...

All this talk recently of slippers (the matching ones for Susie's pink polka-dotted robe), made me realize something:

I don't own a pair of slippers.

I never have had a pair of slippers. I don't wear them. in fact, once I'm inside my apartment, I don't wear any kind of footwear. When it's cold, I have to wear socks, or better yet Totes Toasties cause of my cold feet. But other than that, nothing on my feet for me.

In fact, I really hate to put anything back on feet. As long as it's warn enough for me to do so, when i have to go outside briefly, like to take trash out or get something from the car, i don't put anything on my feet.

I know people, liek my mom, always have something on thier feet, and that's fine for them. But not me. cant' stand anything on my feet if I'm inside. Wonder why that is?

POLT

Listening to "Mama Told Me Not To Come" by Three Dog Night

Natural, unshaven from her armpits to her toes...

Ever wonder what Uncle Polt looks like after four days of being sick and not shaving during that time?


Yeah, me niether.

POLT Oil: 90.30 (+3.11); Gas: 3.06 (-)

Listening to "Beautiful Stranger" by Madonna

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 86)...

Yes kids, once more it's time for...

As many of you know, Susie has shown on her blog this pink polka-dotted robe.


But over time, I have heard her bad mouth this poor defenseless, albeit ugly, robe. She was ignoring all the nights it kept her warm and fuzzy, all the times it kept the chills away, and all the conversations that were started about it. She cared only for the outside, the skin deep, the look of the robe. I was surprised and dismayed at her shallowness and callowness. I felt it was time to give that robe a better home. A place where it would be appreciated.















And after a short but fierce struggle, the robe has a new home.

Now that I see it up close......yes it does take on a new level of hideousness....

Unfortunately, the slippers could not be liberated.
Check out Os's Place for some more HNT's!

POLT

Listening to "Dancing Queen" by ABBA

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

On the edge of a Chris...

Well, Chris went home on Project Runway.



I hope we've all learned a lesson here....if you're ever on Project Runway and are offered the chance to be "team Leader" if you, REFUSE IT!!!! The team leader goes down for the whole team's failure, even if he's not totally responsible.

I think we'll miss a lot of fun without Chris there...he always had a quip and a hearty laugh handy.

Another stupid railroad cap from Ricky, but no crying???? How can that be? That's just wrong.

I'm growing in admiration for Sweet P, I like her more and more.

Christian just make me want to slap him. He reminds me a chihuahua. A yippy chihuahua. A yippy chihuahua with a very bad haircut.

Victorya...what a power hungry, passive aggresive bitch. I don't like her way of doing things...but I think she had learned the lesson of this week's episode previously. You know the bitch was salivating at the thought of being leader...but she didn't want to go down in flames if it all fell apart. Very conniving......

Did Jack have his nose done? It looks just a bit too perky to be natural. I hadn't noticed it before, but then in all the photos I've seen of him online, he's naked or near naked, so who bothers to look at his nose?

I'm not sure about Jillian either...she seems a little too Joan Collins power hungry for my tastes too....OH, I KNOW! Let's throw her AND Victorya in a room and have a no holes barred catfight for the title of Queen Diva.

Well, next week, I have no idea what Jack's tale is gonna be, but I think it's probably something that's gonna get him off the show, by his own choice. Maybe his HIV status has worsened, or there's a death in his family or something....

Just gotta wait until next week, I guess.


POLT

Listening to "Clocks" by Coldplay

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

Today, we got our first snowfall of the winter. It wasn't much accomulation, no more than an inch, but it was below freezing and was sleety and icy and a read slippery bitch driving home. The roads sucked.

The landscape and townscapes were beautiful though. Stupidly, i left my camera at home. But when I got home, I popped open the balcony door and snapped this photo.


Can't see much, but you can see the snow falling. Beautiful but slippery...just like I like my men.

POLT

Listening to the end of Project Runway

Cut thier hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 21)...

Wife-Beater Wednesdays

This week's theme: 2 for the price of 1.




POLT

Listening to "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.

Tonight, I want to dance with someone else (Part 31)...

Wednesday Weekly White Boy Dance



I'm not much for the song, but his t-shirt's short enough so that it pulls a few times when he's dancing....closest thing we've gotten to him dancing shirtless so far.

POLT

Listening to "Don't Let The Sun Do Down On Me" by Elton John

Lies, dripping off your mouth like dirt...

Ah, it continues. What do you do when you're president's lies are laid out for all to see by a report on Iran's no longer pursuing of nukes done by the Intelligence community? Well naturally, you do what you've done for the last 6 years: when you can't attack the message, attack the messanger.

Paging John Bolton! John Bolton, Bushie's choice for UN ambassador, who had previously said the UN was irrelevant, and who had to be appointed during a recess appointment and was withdrawn because it was clear he couldn't get approved by a REPUBLICAN controlled Congress.

Today, the bushies trotted out ole Bushy-tached Bolton on Faux Noise (as if there was anywhere else he was going to go), and had him question the motives of the people involved in the production of this intelligence report. Maybe, just maybe, Bolton says, there are people in the intelligence community who have an agenda against the administration and this is thier way of embarrassing the president.

Suuuuure, when facts come out that are contrary to what you're telling people, question the motives and come up with a conspiracy. Nice.

POLT

Listening to "Confusion" by New Order

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Batman...

What. The. Hell??????



All this, and neither one of the guys were wearing Robin's short-shorts and tights. That's just wrong....daddy-o!

POLT

Listening to "Dancing Barefoot" by U2

Watch the movie, you're a couple o' liars ...

This evening, prior to my date, I felt the need for some laughs, so I turned to Faux Noise channel. It was the 6:00 news, and thier first story was about this new report issued by, I believe the IAEA, stating that Iran had in fact given up thier pursuit of nuclear weapons back in 2003.

Being Faux Noise, they totally ignored the real story, which is that just a few months ago, Bushie, using the words World, War, and Three, made comments about how we had to stop Iran from getting nukes. A full FOUR years after they had in fact stopped production on it. No, Faux Noise is not going to point out that Bushie lied, lies, and will lie again in the future to suit his needs.

What was thier angle on the issue? Well, the report showed that Iran stopped it's pursuit of nukes in 2003 RIGHT AFTER Bushie in a speech made them part of the "Axis Of Evil", and isn't it terrible how he's not gotten the credit for stopping thier pursuit of them, and for Iran not having nukes in the first place.

Oh. My. God.

I see, we don't give him credit for "scaring" Iran into stop trying for nukes in 2003, but we give him a pass in lying about Iran pursuing nukes in the summer of 2007??? This would be unbelievable...if this were not standard operating procedure for Faux Noise and the Bushies.

POLT

Listening to "Boogie Shoes" by KC & The Sunshine Band

The pretty girl that you've been dating...

So, earlier tonight, Uncle Polt had a date.

I KNOW!

It's been like....2 and half, three years since I've been on a real date (course, during most that time I was seeing Freddie, thus making a date rather impractical and unnecessary). We both go to the same hairdresser, and she set us up.

A blind date set up by your hairdresser....I could have FAG tattooed in 4 inch high pink letters on my forehead with a rhinestone border and I couldn't be any more gay than that.

His name was Arnie. He's a nice guy. We had a very nice meal, and very pleasant conversation. But there were no sparks, no chemistry. Course has my great aunt Blanche always says, "You simply can NOT have too many gay friends."

I had several topics and questions in my mind, just in case there was an awkward silence. But I never had to use them. He was quite the talker...I now know way more about the man's kids than anyone other than their physician or thier attorney ought to know. And yet, I still haven't discovered exactly what it is he does for a living. I know where he works, and where his part time job is. But I don't what he does. And I know more about his ex-wife and ex-partner than i really needed to learn on a first date.

Still, don't get me wrong, I did have a good time. And we'll probably go to get something to eat again, if we're too busy over the holidays, sometime in January then. We already have the restaurant picked out.

I chose spaghetti to eat...what the HELL was I thinking? There's no way to really eat spaghetti without either making a mess ON yourself or making a fool OF yourself. I don't believe I did too bad on either count though.

The worst part of the whole date was, I had terrible gas the whole...entire...time! Nothing....leaked out, there were no surprise exhalations, but the less said about that the better.
Oh well, at least my tummy's full and I had a fun time. That's all the really matters, right?

POLT

Listening to "When Dove's Cry" by Quindon Tarver

An utterance, information, don't mince words (Part 71)...

TMITuesdays
These come from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. If your partner buys you a sexy little "something" is it a present for you or for your partner? Its probably a present for HIM...him wearing a sexy little somthing would then indeed be a present for me as well.
2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Young, lean, long-haired.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how good a cook are you? Can we get into negative numbers here? I'm such a bad cook I can burn Corn Flakes.
4. Tattoos: Love them or hate them. On you? On a partner? I'm kinda ambivalent about tattoos, unless he's got them all over, like the tattoo sleeves, I wouldn't like that. Tattoos on the face are also a definite no-no. But well-done ring or tribal or whatever around a nicely bulging bicep is a good thing too. And anything on a rock solid slab of pectoral muscle is pretty hot. On me...eh, not so much.
5. Stubble: Good or bad? How often do you shave? I shave every day, but I keep my goatee growing, trimming that every week-10 days. down below, I think I'd rather not have any stubble there....brush-burns on your forehead are very hard to explain.
Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)? Mama Polt's home cooking, warm freshly laundered bedsheets, comic books, Swedish fish, and a kisser that, when we're kissing, makes me forget what day of the week it is....sometimes, what year.

POLT Oil: 88.31 (+.52); Gas: 3.06 (-)

Listening to "Story Of My Life" by Social Distortion

Monday, December 03, 2007

Those words, whispered in your ear (Part 18)...

Word Of The Day
Comes from http://www.urbandictionary.com. Stop by sometime.

pornfolio

1) The mass of porn that one has stored on their computer, generally in a separate folder.
2) (n.) A collection of porn
3) A folder with a bunch of pornographic pictures inside.

Damn dude, I got 117 porn mpegs in my pornfolio.
Who deleted my pornfolio from my computer?
Because he wanted to get a boner, Freddy took out his pornfolio.


(some of us have a pornfolio...others have a porn-brary....just sayin...)

POLT

Listening to the Patriots-Ravens game, still

In your eyes, forbidden love (Part 18)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?

Yeah, look I know, we're both in the tub together, and we're both taking a bubble bath, but hey, we're drinking alcohol too, wine coolers, I know, but still, doesn't the alcohol make it all permissable?


Or really, honestly, does THIS make me look GAY?

POLT

Listening to the Patriots-Ravens game

You're wanting my body, I don't mind (Part 123)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Guys In The Process Of Removing Their Shirts!!












POLT Oil: 87.79 (-.91); Gas: 3.06 (-.03)

Listening to "Groove Is In The Heart" by Dee-Lite

Sunday, December 02, 2007

You're not decorating a girl for a night on the town...

What a busy week I've had.

I needed a place to put up my Christmas tree. Plus, last year, in an after Christmas sale, I bought one of those small fiber-optic trees. And every year since they've started making them (1991), my parents have gotten me that year's Star Trek Hallmark Keepsake Ornament (yes, I AM that much of a geek, thanks for asking). My plan was to run a string of lights around the fiber-optic tree and hang the Star Trek ornaments from it.

Nonetheless, I needed to get my apartment, or at least the living room, uncluttered and moved around a bit to accomodate the two trees. This would NOT be an easy thing.

Last Sunday night, I asked Ag if she'd help me with this. She looked over the mess that was my living room, and said, "I'm off Wednesday. I'll help you move the furniture around if you get all this junk cleaned up." and then she laughed, cause she knew how unlikely it was. I laughed too for the same reason.

Monday, I did a bit of work. Tuesday I took off work and as illerated here managed to get a LOT of the uncluttering and cleaning done. Wednesday, after work, i called Ag. Before she came up, I did a bit more uncluttering. Then when she got here, the moving of the furniture and cleaning up around them commenced.

It was so bad, so dusty (and with me being allergic to dust), I had to wear a mask. And since this IS the Palace, naturally, I have photos to illustrate:


This is a box of stuff I found behind one chair. It had so much dust on it, it looked like a coat of fur.


This would be me sneezing...WITH the mask on...


Dead pant leaves and a Christmas candle without a bulb...more stuff found between furniture and a wall.


Yes even running the vacuum, i still needed a mask.


If you'll notice, on the lower part of my shirt is a horizontal grey streak. That would be a streak of dust I got from holding a box or something right there.


I needed to move the chair to clean around it, and space was limited, so I put it on top of the sofa. Necessity and mother of invention and all that.


However, after cleaning, moving furniture and cleaning some more, this was the result. I sorted out all the cords in the dormer later. And yes, the coffee table remains that bad even today...despite the repeated pleas of Ag for me to clean it off.

The first Saturday in December is the traditional time I put the Christmas tree up. This year, I did it alone...which was a tad depressing. When i was at home, mom and dad and i would always do it together. Since moving in there, Ag's done it with me several times, my friend AJ did it with me once, and last year, Freddie helped. But this year, just Uncle Polt himself.


Anyway, this is my tree, with it's queer rainbow theme (rainbow cloth to sit on, rainbow star, rainbow tinsel, and rainbow balls...white lights, though. I didn't want to go overboard).


This is the queer rainbow tree with the fiber optic tree behind...which kinda fits right in with the queer rainbow theme, as it's lights vary and shift among the rainbow colors.

After I got that all together and up, I saw that the idea of the Star Trek ornaments hanging on it wouldn't really work. SO instead, I took a string of lights, hung them up around the doorway between my dining room and kitchen, and hung the ship ornaments on it.


Yes, that's me. Trekkie supreme...thank you very much. Live long and prosper.

POLT

Listening to the Bengals-Steelers game

Those words, whispered in your ear (Part 17)...

Word Of The Day
These come from http://www.urbandictionary.com.

bunched

To be upset, or angry and to have one's panties in a bunch.

1)Sally's bunched because she doesn't have a date to the dance.
2)Tim's all bunched up because he didn't prepare for the board meeting.

POLT

Listening to Football Night In American on NBC

Keep me turning, oh keep me...

Going home from work, I drive through a residential area, it's faster that way. This ends at a major road, two lanes going both ways. I turn right, go to a light, and turn left and then continue on.

Since this is a major roadway in town, there is a sign, CLEARLY posted saying NO left turns from that residential road between 3-7 pm. Logically, this is because traffic is pretty bad at that time of day, and it's just not safe, nor very timely, to attempt to turn left.

But does this stop people? No, there are a LOT of morons in the town I work in. See below.


I don't know how long I sat behind this idiot, but it was long enough to make me want to put my car in park, get out, go knock on thier window and point out the CLEARLY posted sign that they were too stupid to either see or obey. But, hey, if they're dumb enough to do this, they could be dumb enough to shoot someone who points out how dumb they are. So instead, I laid on my horn. Repeatedly. Until I saw the imbecile look up in the rear-view mirror, and then I pointed to both the sign and made a motion about turning right. But, naturally, being a total retard, the driver did nothing. Nothing but waste more of my time, and the time of the five people that got lined up behind me, by waiting for a chance to turn left.

I swear, the next car I buy is going to have disintegrator rays mounted on the hood, for just such occasions.

POLT

Listening to the Giants-Bears game

Let's get unconscious, honey (Part 76)...

Unconscious Mutterings
These come from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Music :: Sing
Insanity :: Reality
Curtain :: Call
Nickname :: Polt
Container :: Tupperware
Roast :: Beef
Thong :: Tight
Purple :: YAY!
Holidays :: Gifts
Christmas tree :: Tinsel

POLT Oil: 88.70 (-); gas: 3.09 (-)

Listening to the Bills-Redskins game

Turn and face the change...

As you may have noticed, late last night, I "upgraded" by blog (at least that's what blogger said I did), and i'm still fiddling with it, trying to get it to look right.......

Bear with me....

POLT

Saturday, December 01, 2007

My cards, didn't care about the price...

I have a yearly tradition. Every year on Thanksgiving, after I've stuffed myself full to the explosion point, I return home and plant my fat ass in front of the TV to watch the Dallas Cowboys game (which they won this year, thank you very much).

But in addition to that, it is at this time that i do my Christmas cards. This year I sent 42 of them.



The red envelopes are the "regular" cards, the ones that go to family, co-workers, friends, those sort of people. The white envelopes are the "gay" cards, usually with some funny cartoon, or half naked hot guy, or rainbow theme (or all of the above, if I can find it). These go to, obviously, my gay friends. And my friends who know I'm gay, and such.

Even though I filled them out last Thursday, the 22nd (Thanksgiving sure came early this year), I didn't mail them right away. I always mail them on November 30th or December 1st. That way, everyone gets my cards the first week in December. (oh you might not get a birthday or anniversary card from me until three month have passed, but I'm making damn sure you get your Christmas card three weeks before Christmas!) Why? I don't know. It's just something I started doing about ten to twleve years ago, i figured if I did them every Thanksgiving they'd get done in time. I suppose I should just do all my birthday cards for the coming year on thanksgiving as well, eh? Then they'd get thier cards month before the day, instead of months after.

As mailed them today, it occured to me just how far and wide I sent Christmas cards. Some go to local places, of course, but some go to Harrisburg, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Virginia, George, Michigan, California, Canada and even to England. Some of these people I only communicate with via Christmas cards, but still, to think i know people that far and while...well I found it a bit surprising.

POLT

Listening to "Hey You Rock Steady Crew" by The Rock Steady Crew

They turn the milk into sour...

I bought two 2-liters of soda today (one Pepsi, one ginger ale), and when i got home they wouldn't fit in the fridge, so i needed to do a bit of cleaning. Back behind several other things, I found these three cartons of milk.



Now, I'm sure you can't read the expiration dates yourself, so let me read them for you. Left to right, the expiration dates are: July 4, May 5, and October 11. Yeah, I don't know why they've been there that long. I DO know I didn't even want to risk opening them to dump the milk for fear of being overwhelmed by the fumes. I threw all three away as they were.

But, hey, on the bright side, my 2-liters fit now! With room to spare!

POLT

Listening to "Back To Love" by Rachel Panay

My baby's got a secret (Part 51)...

Secret Saturdays

These come from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. Stop by for a visit.




POLT Oil: 88.70 (-2.13); Gas: 3.09 (+.01) In the last eight days, oil had dropped almost $10 a barrel, close to 10%, yet the average price of a gallon of gas here has remained the same. no, no, oil company CEO'S are not greedy sonsofbitches, not at all. it's all supply and demand. SUUUUURRRRREEEE it is, sure.

Listening to "The Prentender" by The Foo Fighters

Keep your numbers mounting (Part 15)...

55 Fiction Fridays


Star Trek: Voyager is the weakest of the various Star Trek series. However, now that I've watched it several times over in reruns, and more than one episode a day, I can say, it's not as bad as I originally thought it to be. Some of the shows still suck, but not as I thought.

(yeah, I know, it's not really fiction, but I've been sick, cut me some slack, eh?)

POLT

listening to "We Used To Vacation" by The Cold War Kids

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 108)...

Frenching Fridays on Saturday





POLT

Listening to "The Scientist" by Coldplay

Illness of the evening...

So yeah, migraines...they suck don't they? The only thing worse than migraines, I think, is having the flu WITH the migraines...the flu that includes coughing. OOOOh, the jarring pain.

Yesterday, when I woke up in the afternoon and the migraine was gone (thank God, and no vomiting with this one either), I still had the head full of snot, raspy throat, coughing and cold chills. Fun abounding.

When i had called into work, a co-worker called me back. Since I had worked a Monday for her a few weeks ago, she offered to work today for me and give me another day to recover. I took the offer. And went back to sleep. SO that means I had yesterday AND today to recover from everything...and I'm glad I did. Today, I slept in as well. Felt pretty rested when i got up. I still had the full head and raspy throat, but I think the chills and fever are gone. And I dont feel as rough as I did. And in addition, I've got my two regular days off (Sunday and Monday) to recover. I had a four day weekend...but not in the way I wanted to spend a four day weekend, ya know?

Anyways, I think I have some catching up to do on here....

POLT

Listening to "Fergilious" by Fergie