They're parking cars in the old bean patch...

Got a story for ya.

I stopped after work at the market to get a few things. I'm walking out to my car, and I'm gonna put the items in the passenger side. But as I get close, this cars pulls up, wanting to pull through to park beside me (there were no cars behind either of us, and we both just pulled through to the other spot, so we were facing out).

We both stopped, but I waved her on. She pulled in. As she did, I walked on around and opened my passenger's side door, put my items in, shut the door and started on my way to the driver's side.

She stops her car and gets out. She's at least 70, with that blue tinted hair old laides have. But, she was wearing blue tights, like ladies wear to work out. she had a tan coat all buttoned up, cause it was cold, but the blue tights were like pastel and hard to miss. And she's wearing these big huge sunglasses.

Well I open my door to get in, and as she slams hers, she said, "Good afternoon." I stopped getting in and said "Good afternoon" to her. Just being polite.

Well then she comes to my car and puts her elbows on the roof, puts her head on her palms and said, "My husband always told me that if I can ever just pull on through, well, I should just pull on through." I nodded, smiled and said, "Yeah, I like to pull through that way too."

Then she straightened up, got off my car and said, "But he died 13 years ago, so I don't have to listen to him anymore." And just turned and walked around the front of my car towards the store.

I can't wait to reach an age wheren I can spout nonsense like it's something wise and important, and not be committed to a loonie bin.

POLT Listening to "Captain Jack's Theme" from the Torchwood soundtrack

Er, yeah, that would be me. Sorry, I'm a twat. - Owen, Torchwood

Well, me and jesus got our own thing goin...

Having divorced Guy Ritchie and having cast aside steroided A-Rod, Madonna has moved onto 22 year old Brazilian model Jesus. They met during a photo shoot and are now apparently dating. Here's some of the shots from the photoshoot.




All I can say is, "You go girl!"

Frankly, I'd schtupp either of them. Or both of them. Together or seperately. On the pitchers mound of Yankee Stadium. In front of a sell out crowd. On pay per view. I mean, not normally, no, but when it comes to Madonna or a 22 year old Brazilian model named Jesus, my standards evaporate. Such as they are.

Imagine, a boyfriend named Jesus....you could yell his name during sex, and he'd not know if you were calling out to him or to our savior? Course, if that ever happened, I'm not at all certain I'd care which I was calling to. Or if I'd even be coherent enough in my gutteral moans and groans that he'd know WHAT I'm calling him.

POLT Listening to "Perfect Symmetry" by Keane

Argggh! I've only got one heart working! How DO you people cope? - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Standin' there, with your finger in the air...

Frankly, I don't care that he's a pothead. I don't care that he's not the cutest face I've ever seen. With a body like that, with abs like those, everything else is irrelevant.


Lucky bitch, how I'd love to put my fingernail there...if I had fingernails....

POLT Listening to "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's

You fought her off with a water pistol! I bloody LOVE you! - Donna Noble, Dr. Who

Part 156...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" Oil: 41.47 (+1.04); Gas: 1.89 (-.01)

What a douchebag. He's fired. - Cara, Polt's friend

TMI Tuesdays

1. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that you were sure in advance you would hate (or never try) and then discovered to your surprise you loved? Yes, in fact there was, and no I don’t believe I’ll be posting here what it was. There’s some things a lady just doesn’t talk about in public.
2. Is there a sexual act/position/practice that proved a lot less interesting in practice than you thought it would be beforehand? Yeah, edible underwear just provoked a lot of laughing, not much foreplay or sex. Whipped cream just made a sticky mess, and an unexpected sticky mess, as opposed to an expected sticky mess, just ruins the mood.
3. How do you let your significant other know you're in the mood? How do you let a new person in your life know? Pretty much the same way to both: Just get the person’s attention and ask, "Hey…wanna play?" or if it’s a bit more of an immediate need, saying, "Hey, let’s fuck. Now!"
4. How does your significant other let you know he/she is in the mood? I don’t currently have a significant other, I have a few fuckbuddies. And they let me know they’re in the mood by calling me. Anytime I get a phone call from one of them, I know it means nookie.
5. Is there one that got away - a sexual opportunity you didn't realise was one at the time, or weren't ready for and regret missing ever since? Yeah. Two friends of mine were over and we were all drinking pretty heavy. They were partaking in some herbs as well, I never did. At any rate, one friend was out on the balcony just kinda zoning out, and the other one, I’ll call Phil, was inside with me. He said he was hot and disrobed to his boxers. We were sitting together on the couch and he kept leaning over onto me. I’m pretty sure he was erect as well. And I’d been lusting after Phil almost since I first met him. But, I didn’t do anything cause I thought he was more out of it than I was, and I didn’t want to take advantage of him. In actuality, I think he was just using it as a excuse to fulfill his bi-curiousity cause I know he can handle a lot more than he had the night and not be that bad off. And I wish I had taken him up on it. But no, my damn morals got the best of me. Regretted that ever since.

POLT

What implodes like a zeppelin, cracks like a pavement...

Rush Limbaugh (whom I shall call Zeppelin, cause he's as big as one and full of hot air) likes to condemn "liberals" for not knowing the Constitution, not knowing what it says, or understanding it.


Rush "The Zeppelin" Limbaugh was also the keynote speaker at this weekend's "Conservative Coven" in DC. And during the speech he said something to the effect that "The Constitution guarantees life (applause), liberty, freedom (applause) and the pursuit of happiness."

Which is all well and good, except that the line is "Life, liberty and the pusuit of happiness" nothing mentioned in it about freedom. And worse yet, that particular line comes from the Declaration of Independence, NOT the Constitution.

Geez, Rush "the Zeppelin" Limbaugh, live in a glass house much?

POLT Listening to "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama

There are people who have said that I'm being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption - basically of gay rights - but with all due respect I humbly dissent. I'm not being brave - I'm being a decent human being. - Anne Hathaway, March 2008

I said ouch, this really hurts...

Revenge:


Ouch.

POLT Listening to "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie

"Mickey, do you have any vinegar?" "How should I know?" "It's your kitchen!" - The Doctor, Dr. Who

In your smile, forbidden love (Part 26)...

Does THIS make me look GAY?

Pink scuba suit...check.
Beauty pagent stance...check.
'Winning' smile...check.
Not needing to ask 'Does this make me look gay'? cause it's blatantly obvious the answer is yes...check.

POLT Listening to "Confusion (Pump Panel Reconstruction Mix)" by New Order

It was a very disturbing, slightly demonic - I thought - audition. - Simon Cowell, American Idol auditions

What's in a name, his life just a game...

Previously, Michelle M. left this comment:

I wonder if there are any cute, sexy or shirtless guys named Cecil, Ichabod or Milton?

Well, I wondered this as well, so I checked. I didn't find any shirtless one, but I did fine some cute ones.

Cecils:





Miltons:





And Ichabods:






The last one though cute, looks a smidge testy as well.

POLT Listening to "Getting Away With It" by Electronic Oil:40.43 (-3.69); Gas: 1.90 (+.01)

I'm running around in a wedding dress with what feels like a keg of lager stuffed up my skirt. How do you think I feel? - Gwen, Torchwood

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 188)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Folded Arms











POLT Listening to "Mickey" by Toni Basil

I have a freaking Viagra pill and a Vagina who manage to have better banter than these people. - Craig, Puntabulous

The sun, plastic fantastic, lobster telephone...

Well, my Lent resolution has stood for one day. This morning, when my alarm went off at 8:30, I turned it off and got out of bed. That's one more day than I thought I'd be able to last.

I took a load of laundry over to mom's. When she came from church, we talked about lunch. We normally have lunch together on Sundays, whether it's something she makes or we go out somewhere. We talked about her frying up hamburgers, but gradually, the conversation changed to one of going to Red Lobster. She had coupons.

Now one must understand, I am not a seafood fan. I've liked haddock for years. I can eat cod, but it's rather tasteless I think. I've been eating shrimp for only about 8 years or so, and I've found I like halibut as well. But that's about it. I just don't like the 'fishy' taste of seafood. Therefore, it's been well over 20 years since I set foot inside a Red Lobster. Not that I'm opposed to the place, but just that it didn't make much sense to go there when I'm only gonna get haddock.

But today, i thought, oh what the hell? Why not? Let's have some adventure in my life, ya know? So off we went.

I ended up ordering haddock.

Oh the garden salad was nice enough. the garlic biscuit was tasty. And the chocolate chip cookie filled with molten chocolate with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and drizzled with chocolate sauce was simply divine. But really, for the main course, all I could find was haddock. And it was good haddock, absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it was a bit pricey for just, well, haddock.

Still, it was a fun day out with mom, and that's always a good thing. Afterwards, we came back to her house. I attempted to read some more of the book I'm currently working my way through, but I was laying on the couch, in the living room, with the woodstove going fast and furious. And of course, I fell asleep. For over an hour.

At any rate, I came home and hung out here after the laundry was done. And since about 2:30 in the afternoon, other than a cup of apple sauce and some Fritos scoops (naturally) I've had nothing to eat. Just not hungry.

Don't know why. I've not had much energy or ambition all day. I'm blaming it on either the overcast cloudy day, or man-o-pause. Whichever. But on the upside, while I've had the exercise of an arthiric slug, I haven't eaten much all day, so it's all good.

POLT Listening to "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse

"Human?" "Yeah. Is that optional?" "With me it is." - The Doctor, Dr. Who

Coming back, hot dog, i'm waiting...

As I may have mentioned, I was bored last night for a bit. So I was cruising around on this site called http://www.ihasahotdog.com/. It makes me laugh, what with the cute puppies, and then I go to their political site and laugh there as well.

I found these two that I thought were particularly funny.



POLT Listening to "Material Girl" by Madonna

Don't...don't be eating hairy ice. There's nothing worse for you. - Auntie Barbara, YouTube

Drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 41)...

Superman Sundays

A Superman S tattoo, and it's mirror image. Course, being on this cutie, it could backwards, upside down, and colored wrong, and it'd still be hot.


POLT Listening to "Ruined In A Day" by New Order

Are we seriously going to act on something she just Googled? - Tosh, Torchwood

Part 155...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin Oil: 44.12 (-.64); Gas: 1.89 (-)

"You look horrible." "The makeup's really working good then." - Josh, The West Wing

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 147)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Pain :: Aspirin
Lego :: Build
Trooper :: Ticket
Flicker :: Photos
Character :: Play
Determined :: Frown
Wing :: Airplane
Control :: Leash
Automatic :: Pilot
Yeah :: Yeah!

POLT Listening to "Express Yourself" by Madonna

Yes it works now. My inbox just filled up Puntabulous. - ExAstrisScientia on Puntabulous

Like a fool i lent my soul to love...

I was trolling around through some blogs that I read occasionally tonight (I was bored, see the next post below), and I came upon this guy's blog who said that for Lent he gave up hitting the snooze button.


I thought this was a good idea, but not being Catholic, I've never had to give up anything for Lent. Being a lazy spoiled only child, I rarely had to give up anything at all...but that's a whole other post. And, since I don't use an alarm clock or a snooze button, well...you can see my dilemma. See, I use the alarm on my cellphone to wake up. Although typically, 5-10 minutes before it's due to go off, I wake up enough to check the time, and then reset the alarm for another 15 minutes-half hour after it what it was originally set for.

So I've decided for Lent this year, that I'm not going to do that anymore. When I set the alarm the night before, that is the time I shall allow the alarm to go to, so that it rings, and so that I then actually get up OUT of bed and start my day. Not 15, 30, 45 minutes later...or more. But if I don't do it, well since I'm not Catholic, there'll be no repercussions, right? (what ARE the repercussions for violating Lent?)

Also, he had posted a chart of his weight since the beginning of the year. Hhe started at 185lbs, dropped as low as 176, but was not back up to 180lbs. Bastard. I've not been that light since I was in high school.



Since last August, when I started changing small thing in my diet to try to lose wieght, I've lost 20 pounds. And since my all time high back over the summer of 2000, I've lost 38 pounds. But I lose motivation sometimes, and don't continually lose (although since August of last year, it's pretty much been a slow, but steady decline). So I've decided, maybe shame can help me continue to lose weight and keep it off.

So starting today, I'll post periodically, but at least once a week, what my weight is. I'll weigh myself on the same scale at work each time, so the results won't be from different scales. This is actually a big deal for me, cause my actual wieght number is one of the few things I'm ashamed about in my life. But I mean, hey I'm fat. Anyone that can see me can see that, right? So it's not like it's a big secret or anything.

At any rate, today at work, I weighed 275 lbs.

Now, we'll see if shame, Lent, guilt, willpower or whatever can keep me doing both of these. or if I'll just wake up tomorrow regretting this whole experience...like a few one night stands I've had.

POLT listening to "Perfect Symmetry" by Keane

Uhnn! I hate it when one of me dies. - Multiplex, Suicide Squad #6

Me on the last album cover, holding a pistol...

This is something I found a long time ago, and did back then, but I just found it again, and decided to do it again.

Here are the rules:

This is the deal:Here's what you do:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2.http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover

So, following those rules, these are my next five album covers:






Yeah, I was a bit bored at home tonight, why do you ask?

POLT Listening to "Starlight" by Muse

Somebody needs to give Christian a bottle and send him to bed. - Chris March, Project Runway 4

Tail lights heading for spain, oh, and i can see daniel...

Today, I got this large postcard in the mail. It was from the thoughtful Tam, who sent it to me from Barcelona Spain!


I looked at the picture before reading it, and I thought "Phallas shaped building with rainbow lights...this is SO me!" Tam wrote that she saw it and thought, "phallic building - rainbow - Polt!"
Should I be excited that we think alike, or dismayed that I'm so transparent?

Either way, thanks for the card, Tam baby! LOVED it!

POLT Listening to "When I Get You Alone" by Thicke

Oh, you are warped on the inside. - Ianto, Torchwood

My baby's got a secret (Part 116)...

Secret Saturdays

POLT Listening to "When The Night Feels My Song" by Bedouin Soundclash

Like in-laws at the holidays, weeks are impossible to get rid of and difficult to control. - Dave Dunseath

Part 154....

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie Oil: 44.76 (+.50); Gas: 1.89 (-)

If I get punched on the face ONE MORE TIME today...- Joker, Justice League Unlimited #41