So this weekend is, as everyone should know, The Super Bowl! YEAH! Let's take an unbiased, scientific look at who's going to win by using several categories.
1) The Cities
Denver Colorado
Seattle Washington
The Mile High City vs The Emerald City. Well, I've never been to either one, but I've always wanted to go to Seattle. On the other hand, the girl I took to the Junior Prom and one of my very best friends in high school now lives in Denver. Both cities now have legalized marijuana and I think both of them allow gay marriage or civil unions.
Winner: Gotta call this one a tie.
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2) Mascots
Denver Broncos
A bronco is an untamed, unbroken wild horse for the American West.
Seattle Seahawks
A seahawk, according to Dictionary.com is a type of US Navy helicopter. Not even a real bird. Why not name them the hawks? Or if you want a water hawk...I think those are just called gulls.
Winner: Broncos
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3) Team Colors
Denver Broncos
Broncos Orange, Broncos Navy, White
Orange? Really? Is there any worse color for a sports team then orange?
Seattle Seahawks
College Navy Action Green, and Wolf Grey
Action Green? ACTION Green? I think neon green or radiation green or baby puke green would be more accurate. That color may just be worse than orange.
No, on second thought, orange is indeed a worse color.
Winner: Seattle
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4) Season record/percentage
Denver Broncos: 15-3 (83.33 %)
Seattle Seahawks: 15-3 (83.33%)
Winner: Tie
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5) Coaches
Denver: John Fox
58 years old. Has been Denver coach since 2011. Has been coaching in college and NFL since 1978. Led the Carolina Panthers to the Super Bowl in the 2003 season, but lost to the New England Patriots.
Seattle: Pete Carroll
62 years old. Has been Seattle head coach since 2010. Has been coaching in college and NFL since 1973. First trip to the Super Bowl.
Close in age and experience, but Fox has been to the big game once before. Just for that reason, I'm giving a very slight edge to him.
Winner: Broncos
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6) Quarterbacks (face, body, experience)
Denver Broncos: Peyton Manning
37 years old, 6'5, 230 lbs. In the NFL since 1998. In two Super Bowls, beating Chicago once, losing to New Orleans. More personal records than I can possibly list here.
Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson
25 years old. 5'11, 206 lbs. In the NFL since 2012.
Clearly Manning's got him beat with experience not only in football but in the big game too. But my goodness, have you SEEN Wilson's smile and body in a wifebeater???? It's really hard to go against Manning's experience....but then there IS Wilson's body and face.....
Winner: Still, despite the hotness, it's really REALLY tough to overlook Manning's experience. So, I'll go with Broncos.
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7) Other Name Players
Denver: Eric Decker
Very nice, especially when he has longer hair like he does now (and which I couldn't find a shirtless photo of him with).
Seattle: Percy Harvin
Very nice. And I could, luckily, find several of him, see:
And by any mathematical computation, three beats one every time.
Winner: Seattle
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8) Previous Super Bowl experience by team
Denver Broncos: 2 wins, 4 losses
Seattle Seahawks: 0 wins, 1 losses
Winner: Either by total appearances, total wins or percentage, Denver is the winner here
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9) Geography Location To Super Bowl Site
Denver and East Rutherford NJ are 1,777 miles apart
Seattle and East Rutherford NJ are 2,856 miles apart
Winner: Denver
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10) My bets
ALCMDPP and I have been betting on the games all season, and he's done SUCH a great job at it so that now he owes me $21. The Super Bowl is worth $5, so the best I can do is him owing me $26 and the worst I can do is him owing me $16. Sweet.
At any rate, since I'm such a nice guy, I told him I'd let him pick whichever team he wanted and I'd take the other. He chose Denver, so I've got Seattle. And that means....
Winner: Seattle
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SO what's the final tally?
Denver: 5
Seattle: 3
Tie: 2
So according to Polt's Prognostication, Denver is going to win!
POLT