Thursday, September 29, 2011

These wounds, like a catalog of flaws, serve to remind me...

Let's go back into history.  Let's go back about 20 years, when a young Polt was just graduating college, Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' was new and revolutionary on the radio, Bill Clinton was still governor of Arkansas, and no one had as yet heard the term "Internet".  Yeah, the dark ages.

In the days before Teh Interwebs, one had to get one's porn in one of two ways: videotape or magazines/books.  And I had quite a bit of each of them.  But as I was living at home, I couldn't really have a large supply of either just laying about.   Too conspiuous.  And then, a guy I went to high school with, but only found out later was gay, told me about International Male and Undergear catalogs.  They were catalogs that advertised men's clothing, accessories and underwear.  All, of course, modeled by insanely handsome and sexy model wearing...well, men's clothing, accessories and, best of all, underwear.

I subscribed to both right away!  Subscriptions were, I believe free.  Although, as I was a big guy, and the clothing advertised there were made almost exclusively for guys that looked the models in the catalogs, I never ordered anything out of them.  (Well, that's not true, I did order some bracelets and necklaces a few times)  But I had them.  And what fun they were to look at.  Kinda like a feast for my overactive, always horny, 20 year old imagination.

I rarely ordered anything, as I said, and eventually, they stopped coming regularly.  Although they'd still arrive once a year or so.  Soon after I moved into the apartment, I remember I ordered a necklace from IM from a catalog I had recieved before I moved.  But that was the last thing I ever ordered.  And after several more years, the catalogs themselves stopped arriving.  No great loss, because by then, I had high speed Internet.  Who needs a catalog of hot, skantily clad men standing around when you can get movies of hot naked guys fucking around, right?

The point of this story is this: Yesterday, in the mail, I got an Undergear catalog.  WHA!?!?!?!  Yes, I did.  At my house.  My house that Undergear could not have gotten the address of from any of my orders.  What the hell!

My main question is this: if an underwear company can locate me without having my current address and not having heard from me in probably 12 years, how in the HELL did it take the American government, with all the power and money and technology at it's disposal, ten years to kill bin Laden?????  They should just had Undergear send him a catalog and followed the mailman.

POLT

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, before there was the Internet there was Bitnet and FidoNet.

BitNet linked up a whole bunch of IBM Mainframes in the country. I had an account off URI through a friend, I was pjj125@uriacc.uri.edu

FidoNet - BBS operators figured out how to link up independent BBS's through an informal network of sorts. It relied on something akin to UUCP (Unix to Unix Copy Protocol)

But there was no web then. Just text and the image downloads that took FOREVER.

However the BBS was integral to my coming out as gay. I was the sysop for a local BBS. I wanted to get a pet, and one of the regulars on the board had a cat that had kittens.

Now as sysop I could see all messages, public and private. And there were a few conversations that were shall we say, interesting.

So I went over and my cat picked me out. But the guys, they were a gay couple. Well, when they discovered I was gay I got the grand tour of all the gay clubs and bars in the city at the time.

So I've always been connected.