I'm not depressed, i don't get down that much...

So I haven't written much here lately, obviously. I've kept up with the daily things, but not really put much of myself out there. It's cause I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm not usually an introspective person. I've never much cared why I'm here, or what I'm meant to do here. I've always figured 'Here I am, might as well have fun while I'm here'.

But this past week has caused me to do quite a bit of thinking about a myriad of subjects. The utter stupidity of the voting American public; Kris moving to Winchester; how much fun the last 7 weeks have been and how unlikely it is my future will be as much fun (in at least the same way); what the HELL am I gonna buy people for Christmas; how can I stop overspending and start saving more; the complete, total and humiliating implosion of the Dallas Cowboys; the things that I need to do around the house, from tidying up, to vacuuming, to removing the wallpaper in the bedroom and redecorating; the total lack of motivation, desire and interest I have in doing anything around here; the effect my age, diabetes, and near constant masturbation have on the rigidity of my erections sometimes (yeah, I know, TMI); trying to get excited about going back to the only local gay bar since it reopened; my lack of recent weight loss; the modifications and additions in my head to the book I want to write and the lack of writing anything down at all.

Yeah, I've been thinking too much about all that, but mostly, it's about Kris. I'm not depressed, I'm not dwelling constantly on it, but it's always there. Will I see him again, will I get to spend the night next to him again, will I get to hold his hand, and cuddle with him while watching a movie, and just getting to lay next to him and look at him. And reading something like "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist" doesn't really help, what with all the new budding romance. And the radio doesn't make it any easier before, where I never much paid attention to lyrics before, now I'm hearing them all and hearing their words talk about how much they love thier love and all the good times they have together. And I no longer get to do that. Yeah, I'm not depressed, just a bit discouraged and disappointed.

And that's why I've not been terribly creative or funny or interesting on here as of late. I'll get over this, I just need a bit of time. In the meantime, enjoy the photos of the hot eye candy and I'll let you know when I'm back to my old self.

POLT