We say goodnight but not goodbye and try to calm the emotions...

Well, last night Kris came over (hence why there was no posting here last night) for possibly the last time in a while. As I may have posted already, this weekend is his drill and after that he’s going to be living with his parents in Winchester VA, at least for a little while. However, he’s coming back the beginning of December for a big party with his friends up here. And he’ll just make time during that trip to be with me as well. So instead of 2-3 times a week, we’ll see each other 1-2 times a month.

Yeah, it’s a disappointment, but I’m doing better with it than even I thought I would. I think I’ve had time to prepare for it since he first mentioned it a few weeks ago.

Last night was the same as most of our recent dates, although it was different too. It was the same in what we did: get to my house, talk & make out, get something to eat, come and watch a movie, then betimesexxyfun and then to sleep.

It was different in how much more passionate things were. Kris was much more…in charge, telling me to do this, that he’s going to do that, and now we’ll do this in this position. Normally, he just kinda follows my lead in it all, but last night, he was in the driver’s seat…so to speak. That was a fun change.
And I in no way mean to suggest that betimesexxyfun with him had grown stale, because it hadn’t, but this time, things were more varied, and done with a zeal we haven’t displayed in a little bit. And afterwards, even the cuddling was done with more feeling.

Usually, while we slept, there’d be occasional spooning one way or the other, or lying face to face holding each other, or lying…cheek to cheek, so to say facing away from each other, but a large amount of the time, we’d sleep separately, although somewhat close to each other. However, last night, almost the whole entire night, we slept one against the other, even though we switched positions frequently.

We knew this was going to be that last time we’d see each other, possibly for a month, and even though we didn’t really discuss much the coming separation, I think we showed our feeling and passion in the actions that we took.

There was even one point last night, during the post-coital cuddling, when we were just laying there, when I noticed a few tears running down his cheek. I asked if he was okay, and he quickly stammered about having just yawned. I knew differently, as did he, but I didn’t push the issue. I kinda felt a little the same, but I was being the ‘strong one’ then and just held him tigher.

And his morning, before we left the house, the hug and kiss goodbye were more intense than usual as well. It wasn’t really a sad goodbye when I dropped him off today before work. It wasn’t really as much a “goodbye” as it was a “until next time”.

And that’s why I think I’m handling this better than I thought I would. Nonetheless, no matter what happens, or doesn’t happen, in the future between us, I can state one thing for certain: while I may regret how things are turning out now, there’s nothing I regret or would change about the last seven weeks I’ve spent with Kris.

Seven weeks…wow, it seems so much shorter than that, and yet longer too.

POLT