For the Winds of Thor their story would begin...

"Why Polt," I hear you all saying, "You haven't posted in a little while, is everything okay?"

To which I relpy, "Yes, everything's fine.  Just been busy."  To wit,

-working the last three days by myself and being busy there,
-Grandma Polt being in the hospital (further deatils forthcoming),
-getting laid after work Thursday, by guy I kinda knew before but re-met online (further details forthcoming),
-Blogger going on the rag and not allowing ANYONE to post for a day,
-getting laid after work Friday by bi-curious straight boy (further details forthcoming),
-Still fighting off that cold that I'm three weeks into having and which may or may not be turning into a sinus infection (nuff said about that)
-Hanging out with Mama Polt, helping her with a few things around her house,
-Going out to eat and to see "Thor" with A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking.

I've been so busy that I haven't had time to post my 12 For The 12th yet....and it's now only an hour away from the 15th of the month.  *SIGH*

However, in this post I'd like to go to the last thing I mentioned above.  Anytime I do anything with ALCMDPP it's usually some kind of adventure.  The movie "Thor", Im pretty meh about.  It was entertaining, I had a good time, and I don't regret spending the money on the matinee price.  I have a few nit-picky things, but in general, it was just okay.  Nothing bad about it really, but nothing I'm gonna rave about either.  Well except for the extended, but all too short scene, of Thor walking around without a shirt on.  *SWOON*

But as the credits were rolling and we were waiting to see the extra scene at the end, and as we were trying to figure out where to eat, ALCMDPP got his phone out.  He had a message from the lovely Mrs. ALCMDPP.  It read, "Jackie licked Missy in the bathroom."

Just so everyone's on the same page, Jackie is the youngest ParisPeking daughter, I believe she just turned three.  And Missy is the family's Jack Russell terrier.  Now, go re-read the sentence.

Yeah, that was kinda my response too.

Although I'm pretty sure I said, "What?  What the hell does that mean?"  And before he could answer, I added, "Is that some kinda code between you two for 'David come home now, I'm horny!'?"  He assured me it was not, and then went on to message her back asking, I think, "What the hell does that mean?"

It turns out the Jackie had actually 'locked' Missy in the bathroom.  An entirely different situation but one which I thought was no big deal, cause if Missy pooped or peed while locked in, well she WAS in the bathroom.  After we left the theater, though, he thought it best to call her. 

As we walked to the cars, I asked him to ask the Missus to check with Jackie to see what Missy tasted like.  Which he DID ask, but apparently, Mrs. ALCMDPP didn't find any humor in the situation, nor in my inquiries, so I got no response. 

And then I got hear ALCMDPP say things like, "Well get the flat head screwdriver and slide it in" and "You'll have to make sure you get it in there properly" and "well just push harder on it to make it go in."  To which I released a choruses of "That's what SHE said!"  Which is not only hilariously irritating but quite ironic, because, you see, ALCMDPP has this habit of overusing that statment and had just earlier that day, as we entered the theater, informed me that he's gonna back away from using it as much.  Oh, irony, thou wert my consort this evening!

They hung up while Mrs. ALCMDPP tried to get the hinges off the door.  But by the time we got into his truck, his phone rang again, and I heard her say, in quite a desperate yet resigned tone, "I got Missy out of the bathroom."  And just her whole tone cracked me the hell up.  And she apparently had made Jackie apologize to Missy as well.  And at some point in all this Abby (the eldest daughter at 6) had punched the middle daughter Katie (aged 4, I think) in the face.

There were several occasions throughout the evening where I got to say something about his kids licking dogs.  And we did agree that this kind of thing is what happens when you have a secret Muslim, closeted anti-American black man as president: first the gays are allowed to marry, then rich people will actually have to pay taxes, then everyone will have affordable health care, and before you know it, you have young children licking animals!  It's the apocolypse!  I'm pretty sure at least three of those things are mentioned in Revelations.  Anyway.....

See, always an adventure.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I had more enjoyment hearing about this escapade than I did in watching the entire Thor movie (with the possible exception of previously mentioned shirtless scene).

But as a good husband, ALCMDPP did get the missus some terimousu (who the HELL knows how to spell that?) takeout from the Olive Garden and some strong liquor from somewhere, so it's all good.

Now, aren't you all jealous YOU don't hang with the ParisPekings? Hmmm.....Hanging With The ParisPekings...that's got reality TV show on Fox written all over it.....

POLT