Sunday, A Local Celebrity Mr. David ParisPeking went to Friscos where we ate the always delicious food. Then we went to Barnes&Noble where I wandered around for maybe a half hour and much to my surprise, didn't purchase anything.
We then went to Home Depot cause he needed something to get out a stripped screw (that's what she said). Now let me just say here, I don't like Home Depot or Lowe's or any giant home improvement warehouse place like that. See, as a man, albeit a gay one, I am supposed to be genetically predisposed to having an orgasm upon entering. But it just doesn't happen. I have no idea where anything is in the store, and if I could find something specific, I generally have no idea what I need for whatever the occasion is anyway. I can barely hammer a nail into a piece of wood properly. They've got machines in there, and parts in there, and things in there that I've never before seen in my life. Much like when talking to the mechanic about my car problems, I just feel less manly cause I can't keep up with what's going on.
So when we went in there, I let ALCMDPP do all the looking, cause he knew what he wanted. But he too, didn't know where to look. I mentioned asking someone, and as we turned a corner, there stood a female employee perhaps in her late 50s. He asked her what he wanted, she led us directly to them, shared a bit of info with us and walked off.
And I felt even more emasuclated than I had before. Not only was I in the Home Depot, but now, we, two adult fully functional men, had to ask a woman that could be our mother how to find a piece of hardware we needed.
SO when I got home, I just ran around in my underwear, drank beer and scratched my nether regions, and all was right with the world again.
POLT
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2 comments:
I know how to find things in those stores. For about six years from the time I was 15 to 21 I worked for a hardware chain.
The stores were a little bit smaller and didn't necessarily carry lumber, but screws, tools, etc. they did carry and let me tell you, even the Depot and Lowes are organized the same exact way.
And yes I have used power tools. Even know my way around a soldering iron, blowtorch, etc.
Home Depot is a snore. Harry is there every other day, it seems. I look through the home decorating magazines or the garden section when I go with him. It's either that or stare at a billion varieties of nails.
Glad to hear you reclaimed your manhood in the end.
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