Secret Saturdays
Since I'm going to be on vacation this weekend (YAY!) this week's theme is: Travel!
POLT
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
When an angel cries like runaway trains...
I've made it to Long Island safely and soundly. Now a bit of relaxation before dinner with friends, some meeting in person for the first time!
Things I've learned so far on my trip:
1) Sebastian, my car, can, in contrast to what I expected, go 87 miles per hour. And do it quite well.
2) Veritable hordes of cute Asian twinkies take the Amtrak train from Harrisburg to New York! Who knew?
3) It's not easy to purchase, carry and eat a soft pretzel and small Coke while carrying an overstuffed backpack and even more overstuffed suitcase around the crowds at Penn Station. But it CAN be done.
4) "Guidos" really DO exist, and trios of them ride the Long Island Railroad. And much to my shame, I realized they CAN be quite hot. Physically only, not attitude-wise or anything.
5. Craiggers looks better in the Canada t-shirt (see #1 on the list) in person than he does in photos!
Now, hopefully, a shower and lay-down time before consumption of food, and perhaps too much drink, with awesome people. Updates likely to be sparse over this weekend, but who knows?
POLT
Things I've learned so far on my trip:
1) Sebastian, my car, can, in contrast to what I expected, go 87 miles per hour. And do it quite well.
2) Veritable hordes of cute Asian twinkies take the Amtrak train from Harrisburg to New York! Who knew?
3) It's not easy to purchase, carry and eat a soft pretzel and small Coke while carrying an overstuffed backpack and even more overstuffed suitcase around the crowds at Penn Station. But it CAN be done.
4) "Guidos" really DO exist, and trios of them ride the Long Island Railroad. And much to my shame, I realized they CAN be quite hot. Physically only, not attitude-wise or anything.
5. Craiggers looks better in the Canada t-shirt (see #1 on the list) in person than he does in photos!
Now, hopefully, a shower and lay-down time before consumption of food, and perhaps too much drink, with awesome people. Updates likely to be sparse over this weekend, but who knows?
POLT
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 228)...
Frenching Fridays
Today is a travel day for me, so I have to set this up to post on Friday, and I'm busy packing, so I didn't have time to find a theme, so it's all just total randomness today.
POLT
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Vacation all I ever wanted...
Stress, anxiety and nervousness, thy name is Polt.
Well, no not really. Today at work was a bit hectic, cause as it was the last day before vacation everything HAD to get done today. And the bottoom line is, it WAS all done when I left. Yay.
However, this week has been one of stress. First there was stress over my dentist appointment, which turned out well, and then stress over my uncle's condition, which is still turning out well, and then stress about packing for vacation and getting things organized, which took longer than I thought but worked itself out. And then this evening, there was stress about getting to my cousin's house. She lives in Harrisburg, about 20 minutes from the train station. So I made arrangements to come up here this evening and spend the night. Thus, I won't have to get up or leave so early in the morning tomorrow, and I won't have to fight a LOT of rush hour traffic over a long distance then either. Oh, there'll BE rush hour traffic, but only about ten minutes of it, as opposed to the hour and a half of it I could have had had I not come up here tonight.
So yeah, I'm typing this from her house, in the spare bedroom. Pretty nice place she and her fiance have. We chatted, watched some crap on TV and then I came up to bed.
I'm still kinda slightly worried tomorrow, cause I still have to get to the train station and find a place in the parking garage, then ride the train to Penn Station (all of which I've done before) and then at Penn Station, find the Long Island Railroad terminal and get a ticket to the correct stop (which I have NOT don't before). AND, I have to do it all alone. And yeah, I know I'm a big boy and all, and yeah, I know it's all gonna work out well, but I just get a smidge anxious about all this until it's finally done.
And once I'm actually ON the train out to Long Island, then I can perhaps breathe a sigh of relief. And get a bit excited because I have the DISTINCT honor of being picked up at the station by no other the Craiggers himself! I KNOW!!!! He's taking me from the stop to the hotel. Yeah, even I'M asking myself how I rated such awesome treatment! (Personally, I think it's just cause Craiggers is an awesome guy)
So I've got a few predone generic daily posts lined up and ready to go. And I'm certain I'll pop in periodically to let you all know just what an awesomely incredible time I am having, but by and large, I kinda think posting this weekend is gonna be kinda light.
But that just means I'll have to have great huge posts early next week detailing what happened! have a great weekend, one and all!
POLT
Well, no not really. Today at work was a bit hectic, cause as it was the last day before vacation everything HAD to get done today. And the bottoom line is, it WAS all done when I left. Yay.
However, this week has been one of stress. First there was stress over my dentist appointment, which turned out well, and then stress over my uncle's condition, which is still turning out well, and then stress about packing for vacation and getting things organized, which took longer than I thought but worked itself out. And then this evening, there was stress about getting to my cousin's house. She lives in Harrisburg, about 20 minutes from the train station. So I made arrangements to come up here this evening and spend the night. Thus, I won't have to get up or leave so early in the morning tomorrow, and I won't have to fight a LOT of rush hour traffic over a long distance then either. Oh, there'll BE rush hour traffic, but only about ten minutes of it, as opposed to the hour and a half of it I could have had had I not come up here tonight.
So yeah, I'm typing this from her house, in the spare bedroom. Pretty nice place she and her fiance have. We chatted, watched some crap on TV and then I came up to bed.
I'm still kinda slightly worried tomorrow, cause I still have to get to the train station and find a place in the parking garage, then ride the train to Penn Station (all of which I've done before) and then at Penn Station, find the Long Island Railroad terminal and get a ticket to the correct stop (which I have NOT don't before). AND, I have to do it all alone. And yeah, I know I'm a big boy and all, and yeah, I know it's all gonna work out well, but I just get a smidge anxious about all this until it's finally done.
And once I'm actually ON the train out to Long Island, then I can perhaps breathe a sigh of relief. And get a bit excited because I have the DISTINCT honor of being picked up at the station by no other the Craiggers himself! I KNOW!!!! He's taking me from the stop to the hotel. Yeah, even I'M asking myself how I rated such awesome treatment! (Personally, I think it's just cause Craiggers is an awesome guy)
So I've got a few predone generic daily posts lined up and ready to go. And I'm certain I'll pop in periodically to let you all know just what an awesomely incredible time I am having, but by and large, I kinda think posting this weekend is gonna be kinda light.
But that just means I'll have to have great huge posts early next week detailing what happened! have a great weekend, one and all!
POLT
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I just died in your arms tonight...
Mom called me today at work. She delivers Meals-On-Wheels to old housebound people around town. Today, she took a meal in to this old guy....and he was dead. Sitting in his chair. Not breaking, cold to the touch, yep he was dead.
She went back out to get the lady that delivers with her. She freaked a little when she came in. Unsure of what to do, they called the lady in charge of the Meals-On-Wheels program. She said she'd come over to stay so for the authorities and so they could continue on with their deliveries. And she told them to call 911. So mom did.
She called and told them she was delivering meals and she found the guy dead. Now this conversation cracks me up:
911 Dispatcher: Do you think I could talk you through CPR, ma'am?
Mama Polt: I'm pretty sure you could, but it would be kinda pointless cause he's dead.
911 Dispather: SO what do you need us to send to you, an ambulance?
Mama Polt: I don't know WHAT you need to send, but he's DEAD!
Man, I wish I could get my hands on that 911 tape.
And then the paramedics get there and they're asking her questions like "What's his name? Does he have a next of kin?" And she's all like, "I have no idea, I'm just the person who drops his meals off here!"
So they finally get to continue with their deliveries. The next house that they went to, she took the meal in and once again, no one answered her calls. She thought to herself, "Oh I can't handle another dead one. No wait, there CAN'T be two dead ones in one day. So she went on inside. She set the meal down in the dining room and walked on into the kitchen where she picked up this pretty bad smell. But she called one more time, and then the guy's voice rang out, loudly, since he was hard of hearing "Just put it on the table, I'm on the toilet. Thank you." And the bathroom was right next to the kitchen area. So, it wasn't a dead man she was smelling...but it wasn't a good smell either.
And then she got back in the car, told the other lady what happened and wrapped it up by saying, "I don't think I wanna deliver these anymore."
And she wrapped up telling ME all about it by saying, "This shit just could not possibly happen to anyone else but me, could it."
And it can't.
POLT
She went back out to get the lady that delivers with her. She freaked a little when she came in. Unsure of what to do, they called the lady in charge of the Meals-On-Wheels program. She said she'd come over to stay so for the authorities and so they could continue on with their deliveries. And she told them to call 911. So mom did.
She called and told them she was delivering meals and she found the guy dead. Now this conversation cracks me up:
911 Dispatcher: Do you think I could talk you through CPR, ma'am?
Mama Polt: I'm pretty sure you could, but it would be kinda pointless cause he's dead.
911 Dispather: SO what do you need us to send to you, an ambulance?
Mama Polt: I don't know WHAT you need to send, but he's DEAD!
Man, I wish I could get my hands on that 911 tape.
And then the paramedics get there and they're asking her questions like "What's his name? Does he have a next of kin?" And she's all like, "I have no idea, I'm just the person who drops his meals off here!"
So they finally get to continue with their deliveries. The next house that they went to, she took the meal in and once again, no one answered her calls. She thought to herself, "Oh I can't handle another dead one. No wait, there CAN'T be two dead ones in one day. So she went on inside. She set the meal down in the dining room and walked on into the kitchen where she picked up this pretty bad smell. But she called one more time, and then the guy's voice rang out, loudly, since he was hard of hearing "Just put it on the table, I'm on the toilet. Thank you." And the bathroom was right next to the kitchen area. So, it wasn't a dead man she was smelling...but it wasn't a good smell either.
And then she got back in the car, told the other lady what happened and wrapped it up by saying, "I don't think I wanna deliver these anymore."
And she wrapped up telling ME all about it by saying, "This shit just could not possibly happen to anyone else but me, could it."
And it can't.
POLT
Cut thier hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 136)...
Wife Beater Wednesdays
This week's theme: Wife beaters with writing on them!.jpg)
POLT
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Ignited like a roller coaster, it keeps goin...
So I'm back to work today and have about a much motivation as I have use for a tampon (readers of a certain Facebook thread will appreicate that. those who aren't, well, you're all the better for NOT knowing). I mean I got some things done, but other things, I just put aside and didn't do. Which I shouldn't have, as I've only got two more days at work this week. Oooh, they'll be busy, insanely busy I just know. And wouldn't have been if I'd done that shit today.
Anyway, then I get a call from a guy I'll call 'K'. K's another of those guys I've known for several years, but not really been friends with, just acquaintances. At any rate, he was having an issue that he wanted my advice on so we talked for a short while. And it came up that, well, perhaps, some weekend this next couple months I'll be making a trip a bit north to spend some time with him, catch up, and....well, possibly have other kinds of fun. I'm not sure exactly how that even came up in conversation, cause as far as I knew he was straight. But apparently, he plays a little on the side. Who knows, at any rate, I was a bit less motivated about work and excited about other things.
THEN, I get a call from mom. Her brother was in the hospital over the weekend due to tearing an artery in his groin. But his daughter called her today and said she needed mom to go to Harrisburg (where he's at), because she (the daughter) can't handle this herself. And it appears maybe he's bleeding into his brain, I'm not sure cause mom wasn't either. At any rate, that kinda put a serious damper on the rest of the day, worrying about him, and my cousin (his daughter) and my mom traveling up there, and to a lesser extent if and how much this might impact my travel plans for this weekend. But bear in mind, my MAIN concern is for him!
So yeah, today was pretty much of a rollercoaster ride of emotion.
POLT
UPDATE: Mom called and said my uncle was doing fine. It wasn't a brain bleeder, but a reaction to too much narcotics. When mom called, he was awake and talking, albeit quite tired. They had the 'boxing gloves' on him cause when he was rambling he tried to pull the tubes out of his arms. But he's doing okay, and appears he will be okay, just needs recovery time.
UPDATED UPDATE: Got a call from K, and to make a long story short, it looks like next weekend I'll be traveling a bit north and spending some time with him at his place. Suh-WEET!
Anyway, then I get a call from a guy I'll call 'K'. K's another of those guys I've known for several years, but not really been friends with, just acquaintances. At any rate, he was having an issue that he wanted my advice on so we talked for a short while. And it came up that, well, perhaps, some weekend this next couple months I'll be making a trip a bit north to spend some time with him, catch up, and....well, possibly have other kinds of fun. I'm not sure exactly how that even came up in conversation, cause as far as I knew he was straight. But apparently, he plays a little on the side. Who knows, at any rate, I was a bit less motivated about work and excited about other things.
THEN, I get a call from mom. Her brother was in the hospital over the weekend due to tearing an artery in his groin. But his daughter called her today and said she needed mom to go to Harrisburg (where he's at), because she (the daughter) can't handle this herself. And it appears maybe he's bleeding into his brain, I'm not sure cause mom wasn't either. At any rate, that kinda put a serious damper on the rest of the day, worrying about him, and my cousin (his daughter) and my mom traveling up there, and to a lesser extent if and how much this might impact my travel plans for this weekend. But bear in mind, my MAIN concern is for him!
So yeah, today was pretty much of a rollercoaster ride of emotion.
POLT
UPDATE: Mom called and said my uncle was doing fine. It wasn't a brain bleeder, but a reaction to too much narcotics. When mom called, he was awake and talking, albeit quite tired. They had the 'boxing gloves' on him cause when he was rambling he tried to pull the tubes out of his arms. But he's doing okay, and appears he will be okay, just needs recovery time.
UPDATED UPDATE: Got a call from K, and to make a long story short, it looks like next weekend I'll be traveling a bit north and spending some time with him at his place. Suh-WEET!
The back of your hand, somewhere on my behind (Part 19)...
Tooshie Tuesdays
Due to the heat and humidity, there's really only one place to keep yourself lately: by the pool. And that's where this week's theme come from: Tooshies By The Pool.Some tooshies by themselves:
Some tooshies with friends:
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And then there's the whole damn swimming team too!
Gotta love swimming teams....
POLT
Monday, July 26, 2010
Makes me anxious at times unbearably so...
Today was my dentist appointment. You may recall I was just a smidge nervous about the whole thing. Well, it went must better than I anticipated. Swimmingly, even.
The dentist is freindly, jovial, understanding and just the right amount of talkative (he doesn't talk to me when he's got a drill or a pick in my mouth, but he does make appropriate small talk at the appropriate times). I explained I was going out of town on vacation this weekend and didn't want any big work done, but did want him to fix the loose filling I had. He said since I was going out of town, he wanted to look at the filing first and make sure it wasn't too big of a deal. Which it wasnt.
I talked to him about the tooth extractions and explained how I had VERY bad experiences before and how I was going to need to be unconscious for them to be removed. He said he couldn't do put me to sleep but he could refer me to someone who could. Which he did.
And then he went about checking out, removing and repairing two fillings I had in the lower right side of my mouth. I wasn't even aware of having the second one, but, well, obviously I did and just put it out of my memory. And he did it quickly, and painlessly. Oh, he even used a numbing agent on my gums before he injected me with the novocaine, never had that done before.
So all the stress and worry I was experiencing was really or nought...which i knew was the case, but I couldn't help it. Now, I just have to make through the time period until I have to be put under to have the teeth ripped out of my head. Yeah, that'll be a fun time.
POLT
The dentist is freindly, jovial, understanding and just the right amount of talkative (he doesn't talk to me when he's got a drill or a pick in my mouth, but he does make appropriate small talk at the appropriate times). I explained I was going out of town on vacation this weekend and didn't want any big work done, but did want him to fix the loose filling I had. He said since I was going out of town, he wanted to look at the filing first and make sure it wasn't too big of a deal. Which it wasnt.
I talked to him about the tooth extractions and explained how I had VERY bad experiences before and how I was going to need to be unconscious for them to be removed. He said he couldn't do put me to sleep but he could refer me to someone who could. Which he did.
And then he went about checking out, removing and repairing two fillings I had in the lower right side of my mouth. I wasn't even aware of having the second one, but, well, obviously I did and just put it out of my memory. And he did it quickly, and painlessly. Oh, he even used a numbing agent on my gums before he injected me with the novocaine, never had that done before.
So all the stress and worry I was experiencing was really or nought...which i knew was the case, but I couldn't help it. Now, I just have to make through the time period until I have to be put under to have the teeth ripped out of my head. Yeah, that'll be a fun time.
POLT
I do win the contest no feel no way a guy...
Some of you know, although others don't, that I'm in an online Biggest Loser contest. It's over at Cocky & Rude. I'm in the contest (called 'Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser") against 7 other contestants, including the two guys that run Cocky & Rude blog, two chicks named Michelle, a skinny kid who's goal is to actually GAIN weight, and a cat. Oh and some guy I know nothing about except that he's named Matt.
At any rate, we're now in the third week of the eight week contest. You can read the first week's results HERE and the second week's results HERE.
But in a nutshell, all you need to know is that, so far, I'm nowhere NEAR the Biggest Cock position and much more close to the Rudest Loser position. *SIGH*
Anyways, I don't know if I'll do a weekly update about the contest, but if you want to check at Cocky & Rude each Thursday, you can check out my, and everyone else's progress.
Or regress, as the case may be.
POLT
At any rate, we're now in the third week of the eight week contest. You can read the first week's results HERE and the second week's results HERE.
But in a nutshell, all you need to know is that, so far, I'm nowhere NEAR the Biggest Cock position and much more close to the Rudest Loser position. *SIGH*
Anyways, I don't know if I'll do a weekly update about the contest, but if you want to check at Cocky & Rude each Thursday, you can check out my, and everyone else's progress.
Or regress, as the case may be.
POLT
You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 262)...
Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photos
It's been so freakin' hot and stinkin' humid around here these last few...well, it seems forever, but it's probably only been a few weeks, that the less clothes one has on, the better one feels. So this week's theme is: Hot Shirtless Guys In Nothing But Underwear.
POLT
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better....
Yesterday at work, I got a call from A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking. It seems the missus had taken the girls and gone on vacation, leaving him at home because of some alumni thing he had over the weekend. And after he wandered around the too quiet, too uncluttered, too non-family filled house, he was craving ANY human interaction. I asked how long they had been gone. He said since 9am Friday morning. Since this conversation was taking place around 11am Saturday morning, I needled him rather fiercely about being a wuss and all. He admitted that he 'discovered the bachelor life was not for me'.
So after work, I drove to his place. Upon arriving I found curled up on the floor of the living room, in a fetal position, his duahters' Princess dresses draped across him, cuddling with thier various Princess/Dora/Spongebob toy and muttering repeatedly "the quiet, oh the quiet....too quiet, too quiet"
After bringing him back to reality, we went to Texas Roadhouse for supper than then went to Kohl's to buy something I needed. A trip to the mall followed, where we wandered looking for something else I wanted, but didn't find. I did, however, locate many MANY pieces of eye candy.
We went to the the grocery store to pick up some snacks to consume while we watched the season finale of Doctor Who. And our mantra for the day, anytime we left and air conditioned building into the oven like heat outside, was "It's hot as balls out here." Cracked me up everytime to hear him say it. But then I'm easily amused.
Upon returning to his place, we settled in to wait on Dr. Who. But as we sat there, with this a/c not yet totally kicked in and no air movement and me still in my jeans and workshirt that I worn, and sweated in, all day, I decided I'd rather just go home, sit in my own a/c with the ceiling fans going, and watch Dr. Who buck ass naked. Which we both agreed would not be a good thing to do as his house. SO I left and returned home.
I had an entertainging evening, even though I turned down a Mama Polt meal AND a potential hookup with a 27 year old to do this with him instead. But he was a friend in need, and I was gonna be hungry at some point anyway, and he always cracks me up. And so I did it. And I'm glad I did.
Wouldn't want him to remain in the state I found him any longer than he has to...
POLT
So after work, I drove to his place. Upon arriving I found curled up on the floor of the living room, in a fetal position, his duahters' Princess dresses draped across him, cuddling with thier various Princess/Dora/Spongebob toy and muttering repeatedly "the quiet, oh the quiet....too quiet, too quiet"
After bringing him back to reality, we went to Texas Roadhouse for supper than then went to Kohl's to buy something I needed. A trip to the mall followed, where we wandered looking for something else I wanted, but didn't find. I did, however, locate many MANY pieces of eye candy.
We went to the the grocery store to pick up some snacks to consume while we watched the season finale of Doctor Who. And our mantra for the day, anytime we left and air conditioned building into the oven like heat outside, was "It's hot as balls out here." Cracked me up everytime to hear him say it. But then I'm easily amused.
Upon returning to his place, we settled in to wait on Dr. Who. But as we sat there, with this a/c not yet totally kicked in and no air movement and me still in my jeans and workshirt that I worn, and sweated in, all day, I decided I'd rather just go home, sit in my own a/c with the ceiling fans going, and watch Dr. Who buck ass naked. Which we both agreed would not be a good thing to do as his house. SO I left and returned home.
I had an entertainging evening, even though I turned down a Mama Polt meal AND a potential hookup with a 27 year old to do this with him instead. But he was a friend in need, and I was gonna be hungry at some point anyway, and he always cracks me up. And so I did it. And I'm glad I did.
Wouldn't want him to remain in the state I found him any longer than he has to...
POLT
Drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 85)...
Superman Sundays
Superman undies by the pool.
POLT
Let's get unconscious honey (Part 218)...
Unconscious Mutterings
These come each week from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/I say ... and you think ... ?
Inception :: Leonardo DiCaprio
Anticipation :: Excitement
Space :: Final Frontier
Earn :: Salary
.com :: Internet
Hello! :: Goodbye
Equivalent :: Equal
Swore :: Hand raised
Actions :: Words
Expletive! :: Fuck!
POLT
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 227)...
Frenching Fridays
This week's theme: Group Kisses.
POLT
Papa I know you're going to be upset....
Last night, after I had turned off the light and was trying to drift off to sleep, mind my was just kinda wandering all over the place. As it does. One thing I thought about was my trip to work today, and I was thinking of the various routes I could take. One takes me through a short, one lane tunnel under some railroad tracks. And you have to stop and honk your horn before you go through, so anyone on the other side knows you're coming.
Anyways, my stream of consciousness then took to another similar one lane tunnel from my youth. When my parents and I went to visit my mom's cousin, we had to go through this particular tunnel. And I recalled being about 6 or 8 years old and leaning on the front seat excitedly yelling, "Honk the horn, daddy! Honk the horn!" And he would, before entered, all the way through it, and even out the other side. And I'd giggle and laugh like I was insane.
And after that, on the lane to thier house, there were several small hills. If dad drove the car a little fast and took them at just the right speed, we'd go slightly airborne. Around these parts we call it "hill hopping" and it's what bored teenagers do on boring summer night. But I didn't know any of that at the time. I would just yell, "Go fast, daddy! Make my tummy tingle!" Which is the feeling I got when we went airborne. And he would. And I'd sit in the backseat, bouncing around and squealing for joy.
And as I remembered all this stuff, I recalled that that was one of my most pleasant memories of interactions with my father. He and I never really got along, even from when I was young. As I grew into a teenager and adult, I loved him, because he was my father, but I did not like him. If you can understand that. I often thought, if it wouldn't have been for mom, we wouldn't have had any contact with each other.
And thinking over all this, I got sad and started to cry a bit. I was sad that I had so few pleasant memories of him. (I don't really have any BAD memories of dad either. I mean he wasn't abusive or anything. Most of my feelings are mild irritation or plain apathy.) I was sad that the fun we had together doing this didn't continue as we aged. I was sad that we never had the father/son relationship I hear other people having. I was sad that he and I didn't ever share what mom and I always have.
I know he loved me, in his own way. I know he was proud of me that I graduated college, got a decent job, lived a decent life. I just wish he and I had been able to share more of our lives with each other.
And so I cried myself to sleep last night. And I think that's the first time I've cried about my dad since his funeral in October 2008. And that's also why today, so far, has just been a plain old crummy day. Bah, humbug.
POLT
Anyways, my stream of consciousness then took to another similar one lane tunnel from my youth. When my parents and I went to visit my mom's cousin, we had to go through this particular tunnel. And I recalled being about 6 or 8 years old and leaning on the front seat excitedly yelling, "Honk the horn, daddy! Honk the horn!" And he would, before entered, all the way through it, and even out the other side. And I'd giggle and laugh like I was insane.
And after that, on the lane to thier house, there were several small hills. If dad drove the car a little fast and took them at just the right speed, we'd go slightly airborne. Around these parts we call it "hill hopping" and it's what bored teenagers do on boring summer night. But I didn't know any of that at the time. I would just yell, "Go fast, daddy! Make my tummy tingle!" Which is the feeling I got when we went airborne. And he would. And I'd sit in the backseat, bouncing around and squealing for joy.
And as I remembered all this stuff, I recalled that that was one of my most pleasant memories of interactions with my father. He and I never really got along, even from when I was young. As I grew into a teenager and adult, I loved him, because he was my father, but I did not like him. If you can understand that. I often thought, if it wouldn't have been for mom, we wouldn't have had any contact with each other.
And thinking over all this, I got sad and started to cry a bit. I was sad that I had so few pleasant memories of him. (I don't really have any BAD memories of dad either. I mean he wasn't abusive or anything. Most of my feelings are mild irritation or plain apathy.) I was sad that the fun we had together doing this didn't continue as we aged. I was sad that we never had the father/son relationship I hear other people having. I was sad that he and I didn't ever share what mom and I always have.
I know he loved me, in his own way. I know he was proud of me that I graduated college, got a decent job, lived a decent life. I just wish he and I had been able to share more of our lives with each other.
And so I cried myself to sleep last night. And I think that's the first time I've cried about my dad since his funeral in October 2008. And that's also why today, so far, has just been a plain old crummy day. Bah, humbug.
POLT
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Never disrespect me, boy, dog you better check ya...
Cute boy + Cute dog = Adorableness overload!
POLT
POLT
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