I just died in your arms tonight...

Mom called me today at work. She delivers Meals-On-Wheels to old housebound people around town. Today, she took a meal in to this old guy....and he was dead. Sitting in his chair. Not breaking, cold to the touch, yep he was dead.

She went back out to get the lady that delivers with her. She freaked a little when she came in. Unsure of what to do, they called the lady in charge of the Meals-On-Wheels program. She said she'd come over to stay so for the authorities and so they could continue on with their deliveries. And she told them to call 911. So mom did.

She called and told them she was delivering meals and she found the guy dead. Now this conversation cracks me up:

911 Dispatcher: Do you think I could talk you through CPR, ma'am?
Mama Polt: I'm pretty sure you could, but it would be kinda pointless cause he's dead.
911 Dispather: SO what do you need us to send to you, an ambulance?
Mama Polt: I don't know WHAT you need to send, but he's DEAD!

Man, I wish I could get my hands on that 911 tape.

And then the paramedics get there and they're asking her questions like "What's his name? Does he have a next of kin?" And she's all like, "I have no idea, I'm just the person who drops his meals off here!"

So they finally get to continue with their deliveries. The next house that they went to, she took the meal in and once again, no one answered her calls. She thought to herself, "Oh I can't handle another dead one. No wait, there CAN'T be two dead ones in one day. So she went on inside. She set the meal down in the dining room and walked on into the kitchen where she picked up this pretty bad smell. But she called one more time, and then the guy's voice rang out, loudly, since he was hard of hearing "Just put it on the table, I'm on the toilet. Thank you." And the bathroom was right next to the kitchen area. So, it wasn't a dead man she was smelling...but it wasn't a good smell either.

And then she got back in the car, told the other lady what happened and wrapped it up by saying, "I don't think I wanna deliver these anymore."

And she wrapped up telling ME all about it by saying, "This shit just could not possibly happen to anyone else but me, could it."

And it can't.

POLT