Other forms of boredom, advertised as poetry...

We discovered late last year that my grandmother left a few bonds and insurance settlements and other things after she died. We've been filling out paperwork trying to get it. The paperwork says only a parent, spouse, sibling or child can claim the money. So her parents are dead, she had no siblings, she's been divorced since World War II, and her only child died in 2007, all of which points to her only grandson (me) as her only heir. Although, as I mentioned above, grandchildren are not eligible to claim the money.

SO, having filled out the appropriate paperwork and sent it in, we got a call from the State Of Pennsylvania's Treasury Department. Since I was 'only' a grandchild, I wasn't entitled to claim the money. Instead, I had to become Executor Of Her Estate. To do that I had to take a copy of her death certificate, a copy of her will, and my checkbook and got to the Registrar of Wills in the county in which she died. They'll give me a piece of paper to fill out and send back.

Okay.

So this afternoon, mom and I head up to the county courthouse. On the way, mom shows me her folder, that has all the relevant info in. I ask her if she's got the death certificate, she says yes. Since grandma died without a will, we don't have that. And I DO have my checkbook.

We get to the courthouse and have to go through the metal detector at the front door. And thank you very much, Deputy Harris, for being so cute and filling out your uniform so well, giving me something nice to look at while mom went through the machine.

At ANY rate, we get into the Registrar Of Will's office, and talk to this mid level bureaucrat who made it clear she had other, more important things to be doing. We explained the situation, drawing a 'tsk-tsking' when we said we had no will. But mom explained grandmad didn't have one cause she gave the house to dad and then we sold everything so she could stay in the home she was in (and that's a sad story in and of itself, but it's for another time).

So then the lady asked for the death certificate. Mom opened the folder and...couldn't find it. Oh she had a copy of dad's death certificate, she had a laminated copy of grandma's obituary, she had dad's birth certificate, she had about 20 different pieces of paper and forms. And none of them were grandma's death certificate. Apparently she thought she had put it in the folder, when obviously she didn't.

Mom got very frustrated and angry with herself. I started laughing, because it was kinda funny, that kinda stuff really only happens to Mama Polt. The bureaucrat just tsk-tsked again. She did give us two forms, told us she could not help us fill them out, but we'd have to fill them out and and return them, along with $28.50 just to 'open the estate'. It obviously won't be the last of the money needed for this.

But still, in the end, I'll come out ahead. When I get the money. Probably, when I'm done with all these forms and such, that will be 2027 or so.

POLT