Tonight, I had a date with Don.
We had dated (re: became friends with benefits) back in 2008 for a few months. There were issues, mainly that I had, and so it came to an end. Last month, Don emailed me and we got it set up so that we'd meet today, after work, at Borders to talk over coffee.
I got to Borders about 4:00 even though we said to meet there at 4:30. And as I waited and wandered around looking at books and such, I got SO nervous. Nervous, anxious, worried..and i don't have the slightest clue why. I was working myself up so that I was beginning to get a headache.
And then I saw him walk in, see me and smile. And I couldn't help but smile back, and the headache, tension and worry disappeared! Poof! Like magic.
We said hi and he put his hand out for a shake, but I was like, no, I pulled him into a quick hug, which he returned. And what was the first thing he said to me? "You've lost a LOT of weight, and damn, you look good." Aww... And the first thing I noticed about him? Damn did he smell good. I have no idea what the cologne was, but it was rocking!
I suggested we go to TGIFriday which was nearby, gets some appetizer to share and talk in a booth there, as there'd be a bit more privacy than in Borders. And so we did. And over the Friday's 3-For-All and sodas, we talked.
I first off thanked him for coming and agreeing to talk to me and then I apologized for the way I handeld the end of it, which really was my fault and cowardly. I handled it like a big prick. And told him so. He gracefully accepted the apology.
And then we had an awesomely easy and smooth conversation with no awkward pauses that I was worried about. he asked about the house, so I told him. In fact, I think I talked a LOT. It was such a relief to see how well everything was going I was talking fast and furious, like Sassy josh on a mix of speed AND cocaine.
We went over some of the issues we had previously, which were still in existance. I made sure he understood I wasn't terribly good at relationships and could be VERY selfish, both in a relationship and in general. He reminded me that I had told him that before (not that I remembered doing so) and that he was here talking with me anyway. He said we both had issues we'd have to deal with, but we could talk about them and maybe come to a resolution. And even if nothing else happened right away, he said that we connect on so many levels (which we do) that we can still be friends and enjoy things like movies, and comic books and shit until we get those issues resolved.
He said he was talking to a girlfriend, and she was mentioning her commitment-phobic boyfriend of six years, and then she asked if maybe I was Don's Jason (her boyfriend). He said he didn't know, but that wasn't going to stop him from seeing me again, and that that was something we could work on.
It was a thoroughly enjoying and dare I say it, magical evening, even though it was only about an hour and half long. And we made semi-defintely plans for him to come see the house next week and for us to talk some more. Here, where there's even more privacy. (at one point, he put his hands on top of mine while saying something, and afterwards, he looked over my shoulderand smiled and said we had an audience. A couple of ladies were watching. Pfft, whatever...)
And outside, as we went to leave he said, "I wanted to tell you this inside, and then I wasn't sure if I was going to or not, but now I will. I thought you were hot before. Now I see you're truly smoking." Corny, sure it was! But it made me blush and I squee-ed out loud inside my head.
So, I don't know where if anywhere this is going. As I said, we still have some of the same issues going on that we had back in 2008. But whatever, we'll take this wherever it takes us and see. And isn't that more than half the fun?
POLT
Listening to "Alex Clinton" by The Replacements"Don't be nervous." "If my heart rate were any slower, I'd be dead." - Brian, Queer As Folk
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