It's the middle of summer. I hate summer. Hate the heat and the humidity. Hate all the damn sunlight, until all hours of the evening when the sun should be long set. Hate the beach, too. But I can think of some nice things about the beach, so I give you,
Polt's Top Ten List Of Why The Beach Is Great!1. If you need to relax on a hot summer's day, why not stretch out on two inflatable thingess in your trunks on the the sand and enjoy yourself?
2. Where else can you so easily illustrate that Speedo are a privilege and not a right? If you're built to wear a Speedo, as these gentlemen are, the beach is the only place to show it. Except for the dancing platform at a gay bar. Or a fashion runway. AND, as demonstrated here, cultural diversity is in full swing at the beach!
3. If you're lonely and need a friend, there's no better place to find one, as these three chaps, strangers before arriving at the beach, amply demonstrate.
4. It's hot outside? You're sweating like a priest at a Little League game under your clothes? Well, where else is is acceptable to simply removed them all down to the Aussiebum bikini underwear/swimwear you are wearing and strut around for all to see? Except for the dancing platform at a gay bar.
5. The beach is the perfet place to show how strong your friendship is. I mean, where else are you gonna strip to what God gave ya and have your photo taken whilst standing close to and hanging all over three of your closest buddies? Except for the dancing platform at a gay bar.
6. There's no where else in the world to sit naked back to back with your best buddy at the surf rolls up over you. Just beware severe shrinkage if you're doing it early in the morning. And this is also one good way to find out all the places sand can get into that you never knew was possible!
7. Fifteen naked guys standing up to thier knees in the ocean, arms draped across each other, showing off thier asses! Nowhere else but the beach. Except, maybe, for the
large dancing platform at a gay club.
8. Nowhere else are you gonna get a whole frathouse full of guys shirtless, in swimwear huddled tightly together for a photo. Except for...oh who am kidding? this kinda thing happens three times a week at every fraternity in the nation. Twice as often in the strictly 'straight' frats.
9. All the Mr. World 2007 candidates standing shirtless on a beach. NUFF SAID!
10. And finally, where else can you possibly go surfing naked? And if you're real lucky, you might see the hot and sexy surfer hang ten.....inches!
Or, if none of these are good enough reasons to visit the beach, you could always go just to enjoy the man-candy showing off thier bodies there!
POLT
Bush: The Real WMD!
