Okay, finally got 10 votes in the blogpoll and the results of Your Favorite Color blogpoll is:
Purple - 3
Blue - 2
Black - 1
Green - 1
Orange - 1
Yellow - 1
Other - 1
Red -0
White - 0
And so it's time for a new one. Johnnie came by this weekend and was almost in tears. (Okay, not really, but it makes the story sound better if I say he was). He said he wasn't sure if he should continue with Testicular Tuesdays. he says he never gets any comments on them. I pointed out to him that there's a lot of posts I don't get any comments on myself. He said he's not sure what to write each week (I didn't bring up that he had missed two week's columns, nor that we've had Testicular Tuesdays on Wednesday a few times...no need to kick a man when he's down). He's just not sure if he should.
So I thought, hell,. I'll throw it open to the readers: you want Testicular Tuesdays to continue or not? or don't you know? Or don't you care? Now is that time to have your opinion heard (unless of course you apathy extends beyond just his column and you don't care to vote at all...but I digress...)
POLT = listening to the halftime show of the Redskins/Chargers game
I want to be a great writer but I can't think of anything great to write. - Wendel Trupstock, Wendel
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query testicular Tuesdays. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query testicular Tuesdays. Sort by date Show all posts
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Touched by the hot hands of bitter fools...
Testicular Tuesdays (on Thursday) With Johnnie
(with comments from Polt interspersed as necessary)
Welcome to the very special VD edition of Testicular Tuesdays. I know it's a little late, but fortunately I don't care. Originally I had an accidental date for VD (Un-huh, yep I KNEW it!). However, this was postponed until the next day, since my date was feeling under the weather. So, today I was supposed to take the lovely young lady out for a sushi dinner and some pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, the date was cancelled. That wouldn't have been a very big deal had she informed me that the date was cancelled. As it were, she didn't call me as she said she would and didn't pick up when I called her. So, barring a call telling me how she had to go to the emergency room and was in a 24 hr coma, etc, I'm going to stay bitter for the forseeable future(go ahead, you're entitled!). So in the course of about 4 weeks that makes 3 very poor endings with the indian freshman, the psychiatrist, and now dreadlocks girl (Here and forever after refered to as Delhi, Doctor, and Dreads, the Three Dopes!) . That's it, I'm done. No more females for me (Ah...come to the Dark Side, Johnnie...). If I decide to reproduce, I'm gonna clone myself. So what does all this have to do with balls? Very simple: the lesson of this VD is to love your genitals (as often as possible, I'd add) . They've been there for you through thick and thin when no one else was (I prefer thick, but I digress...) . They know just the way to make you happy. So this VD, take care of your testicles. (Good advice, John. Very good advice!)
POLT = listening to "Mouth" by Bush
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, Animal Farm
(with comments from Polt interspersed as necessary)Welcome to the very special VD edition of Testicular Tuesdays. I know it's a little late, but fortunately I don't care. Originally I had an accidental date for VD (Un-huh, yep I KNEW it!). However, this was postponed until the next day, since my date was feeling under the weather. So, today I was supposed to take the lovely young lady out for a sushi dinner and some pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, the date was cancelled. That wouldn't have been a very big deal had she informed me that the date was cancelled. As it were, she didn't call me as she said she would and didn't pick up when I called her. So, barring a call telling me how she had to go to the emergency room and was in a 24 hr coma, etc, I'm going to stay bitter for the forseeable future(go ahead, you're entitled!). So in the course of about 4 weeks that makes 3 very poor endings with the indian freshman, the psychiatrist, and now dreadlocks girl (Here and forever after refered to as Delhi, Doctor, and Dreads, the Three Dopes!) . That's it, I'm done. No more females for me (Ah...come to the Dark Side, Johnnie...). If I decide to reproduce, I'm gonna clone myself. So what does all this have to do with balls? Very simple: the lesson of this VD is to love your genitals (as often as possible, I'd add) . They've been there for you through thick and thin when no one else was (I prefer thick, but I digress...) . They know just the way to make you happy. So this VD, take care of your testicles. (Good advice, John. Very good advice!)
POLT = listening to "Mouth" by Bush
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, Animal Farm
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Friends of the enemy of your mind....
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (on Wednesday again, but hey, who's complaining at least we got a column this week...)
I apologise to all my loyal fans (which I think includes polt and myself, at least I think he reads this) for not sending in last week. I know it has to be rough to go nearly two weeks without my testicles. I could never do that myself.
So I was planning on writing an amusing but true story about a friend's testicles, but after a frightening experience this evening, I must write about my own. Consider this the halloween addition of testicular tuesdays a little late. Tonight I went to a friend's apartment for dinner. She was nice enough to cook for me an two of our mutual friends. Granted, it was Polish food, which was scary enough. She even made sour crout (sp?) which is the only thing worse than Mormons in my book (*shudder*). So after carefully avoiding the rotten cabbage and forcing down a few perogies and kelbosi heavily doused in ketchup, we moved to the living room to chat. I've seen some frightening things in my short life. I've had my share of near death encounters and even had a loaded gun pulled on me once. None of that could prepare me for the fright of my life. When I looked on her shelf I saw a picture of Rick Santorum with his arm around my friend. The picture was not only proudly displayed and framed, but signed specifically to her! I thought maybe she had it up as some sort of leftover Halloween decoration, so I asked he why she had it up. She claimed that he just mailed it to her after she met him on some sort of class trip and that she kept it up because her mother loves him. However, I know her parents live about five hours away. One could imagine such a thing from an easily swayed simpleton, but my friend is a scientist and a voter. She's well educated and trained in critical thinking. I was so horrified by this that my balls ran back up inside of me for protection. I'll now have to spend the rest of the evening coaxing them out with pictures of cheerleaders and reaffirmations that the devil incarnate won't be re-elected.
friends don't let friends vote for Santorum.
(AMEN to that, John! - Polt)
POLT = listening to "19-2000" by Gorillaz
"We're fags on ice!" "No, that's the Olympic men's figure skating team." - Dave Cameron, Queer As Folk
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Why must you be missing in action...
Well, Kids, it's now Wednesday, and I've had no communication with Johnnie since, like Monday. That's why he had no Testicular Tuesdays on Tuesday. And this time it's not my fault like last time. I suppose if he gets me something tonight before too late, we could have another Testicular Tuesdays on Wednesday...but we'll see...
*SIGH*....oh, the disappointment from all his fans. All those anxious awaiting the next installment....how sad they must all feel.......
(smell that, son? that's a guilt trip in full bloom)
POLT = listening to "Twist And Shout" by the Beatles
The day I can't mutilate thirty radioactive teenagers si the day I hang up my coat for good. - The Midnighter, The Authority
*SIGH*....oh, the disappointment from all his fans. All those anxious awaiting the next installment....how sad they must all feel.......
(smell that, son? that's a guilt trip in full bloom)
POLT = listening to "Twist And Shout" by the Beatles
The day I can't mutilate thirty radioactive teenagers si the day I hang up my coat for good. - The Midnighter, The Authority
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A bachelor boy and that's the way I'll stay..
So, late Tuesday, Johnnie emailed me the following. But he didn't say whether he was just sending it to me, his old buddy Uncle Polt, or if it was this week's installment of Testicular Tuesdays. i read it, and it was funny, but there was nary a mention of reproductive organs in it. So I sent an email back to him, asking him if I was use it or just read it. It's not about 22.5 hours after I sent that email, and 20 hours after Tuesday ended, and I've received nada from him on the subject.
SO I'll just use what he sent as his...column, and hope that's what he intended. And so, I give you...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (on Wednesday)
Thanks to Craigslist.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
- Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
- Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
- Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
POLT = listening to "Save The Last Dance For Me" by Ben E. King
"Have you ever had sex with another guy?" "Define sex." - Zed, Splendor
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Blew out all the candles, wishing we'd come true...
File this under "Be Careful What You Wish For"...
So last night, the phone rang. I picked it up and said hello. The response I got was, "I want Testicular Tuesdays!" No, "Hey!"; no "Hello!"; no "Howya doin, buddy?". Nope. Just a demand for his own column on Tuesdays. Johnnie says he only wants 300 words. He refused, despite the full force of my persuasive powers, to send me any photos to post for the testicular column.
I suggested he start his own blog, but I was informed that would be lame. ???? Can't quite get the gist of that. If it's lame to have a blog, wouldn't it be even more lame to read one, and wouldn't it be even MORE lame to post to someone else's blog? There was some explanation about all that, but it never made sense to me. Perhaps he can comment on it some Testicular Tuesday in the future?
I informed him that if we started this, he'd need to send me something today, as it is now Tuesday. but I was informed he'll be out getting all shit-faced and will be unable to string a coherent sentence together, much less a "column". I'm sure he'll comment on that in his column.
So starting soon, there will be another regular feature here at the Palace....God help us all.
POLT = listening to "Longview" by Green Day
Dallas Cowboys are 2-1
"Where the hell did you come from?" "Daddy did a bad thing with Mommy and nine months later...." - Jack Hawksmoor, The Authority
So last night, the phone rang. I picked it up and said hello. The response I got was, "I want Testicular Tuesdays!" No, "Hey!"; no "Hello!"; no "Howya doin, buddy?". Nope. Just a demand for his own column on Tuesdays. Johnnie says he only wants 300 words. He refused, despite the full force of my persuasive powers, to send me any photos to post for the testicular column.
I suggested he start his own blog, but I was informed that would be lame. ???? Can't quite get the gist of that. If it's lame to have a blog, wouldn't it be even more lame to read one, and wouldn't it be even MORE lame to post to someone else's blog? There was some explanation about all that, but it never made sense to me. Perhaps he can comment on it some Testicular Tuesday in the future?
I informed him that if we started this, he'd need to send me something today, as it is now Tuesday. but I was informed he'll be out getting all shit-faced and will be unable to string a coherent sentence together, much less a "column". I'm sure he'll comment on that in his column.
So starting soon, there will be another regular feature here at the Palace....God help us all.
POLT = listening to "Longview" by Green Day
Dallas Cowboys are 2-1
"Where the hell did you come from?" "Daddy did a bad thing with Mommy and nine months later...." - Jack Hawksmoor, The Authority
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Save what's left, for the deaf...
Tone Deaf Tuesdays
Well, kids, Testicular Tuesdays with Johnnie has been a little....intermittant, may we say? I will surely post any here that he sends me, but he's been busy, what with the semester ending at grad school and being rejected by chicks and stuff. But i wanted to have another regular feature (got one for every day but Saturday) on Tuesdays, just in case something comes up with him that he can't get me one (which is shameful, i mean it's not like i ask a lot from him. I slave day after day over a hot computer to put this together, and all I ask is one hting a week! [ok, i'll quit the guilt trip now]).
I think what I'm going do in this is detail a memory I have of a particular song. I don't know how interesting it will be (but then, how interesting is Frenchin Fridays or Superhero Sundays, eh?), but I've been thinking a lot lately about memory and songs, so i'll put it all down here.
I think this song is their best, even though most people like Stairway To Heaven better. At any rate, the memory I always associate with this song and think of every time I hear it is as follows:
18 years ago, I delivered pizzas for Domino's Pizza. After we'd close the store down at 100am (or 200 on weekends) we clean up and then a lot of the times, a group of us would head over to the manager's apartment. There, we'd sit around, talk, bitch, drink, watch Nick At Nite, some of us smoked things other than cigarettes (although not yours truly...I had that experience in college and was over an done with it by then) and just generally had a good time. usually, we'd hang around there until about 800 or 900 am, getting all trashed and then head home for a few hours of sleep, before reporting back for work, sometimes at 1100 am, sometimes not til 400pm. (amazingly, only ONCE was I too hung over to report for work the next day. And I worked there about a year and participated in the above mentioned scenario countless times. Ah, youth!)
So anyway, I remember one occasion, when I had had...well, way too much to drink, and was pretty much on the verge between feeling really good, and being totally out of it. WIlliam the manager had his stereo playing in one of the rooms and had these two floor speakers. They were just boxes, not real huge or anything. Well, I don't even remember how or why I ended up this way, but I distinctly remember laying on the floor in front of the stereo, both of the speakers pulled out on plaed on either side of my head, just inches from my shoulders, with Kashmir playing out of them. And every time the song ended, I'd reach up and hit the button to make it replay. God only knows how long I did this. Coulda been minutes, coulda been hours. I remember singing along sometimes, even the howls, and moans and screams. I remember some people singing along with me at one point.
Well, kids, Testicular Tuesdays with Johnnie has been a little....intermittant, may we say? I will surely post any here that he sends me, but he's been busy, what with the semester ending at grad school and being rejected by chicks and stuff. But i wanted to have another regular feature (got one for every day but Saturday) on Tuesdays, just in case something comes up with him that he can't get me one (which is shameful, i mean it's not like i ask a lot from him. I slave day after day over a hot computer to put this together, and all I ask is one hting a week! [ok, i'll quit the guilt trip now]).
I think what I'm going do in this is detail a memory I have of a particular song. I don't know how interesting it will be (but then, how interesting is Frenchin Fridays or Superhero Sundays, eh?), but I've been thinking a lot lately about memory and songs, so i'll put it all down here.
"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin
I think this song is their best, even though most people like Stairway To Heaven better. At any rate, the memory I always associate with this song and think of every time I hear it is as follows:
18 years ago, I delivered pizzas for Domino's Pizza. After we'd close the store down at 100am (or 200 on weekends) we clean up and then a lot of the times, a group of us would head over to the manager's apartment. There, we'd sit around, talk, bitch, drink, watch Nick At Nite, some of us smoked things other than cigarettes (although not yours truly...I had that experience in college and was over an done with it by then) and just generally had a good time. usually, we'd hang around there until about 800 or 900 am, getting all trashed and then head home for a few hours of sleep, before reporting back for work, sometimes at 1100 am, sometimes not til 400pm. (amazingly, only ONCE was I too hung over to report for work the next day. And I worked there about a year and participated in the above mentioned scenario countless times. Ah, youth!)
So anyway, I remember one occasion, when I had had...well, way too much to drink, and was pretty much on the verge between feeling really good, and being totally out of it. WIlliam the manager had his stereo playing in one of the rooms and had these two floor speakers. They were just boxes, not real huge or anything. Well, I don't even remember how or why I ended up this way, but I distinctly remember laying on the floor in front of the stereo, both of the speakers pulled out on plaed on either side of my head, just inches from my shoulders, with Kashmir playing out of them. And every time the song ended, I'd reach up and hit the button to make it replay. God only knows how long I did this. Coulda been minutes, coulda been hours. I remember singing along sometimes, even the howls, and moans and screams. I remember some people singing along with me at one point.
hey, I didn't say these would be really cool, fantastic memories, that would keep you on the edge of your seats or nothing, ya know? They're just memories I have.
And, I guess if anyone else has any memories like this of any song I mention, send it to me in a comment. I'd love to hear about others.
POLT = listening to "Long Time" by Boston
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Different Germany, afraid to know you now...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
Ahhh, another testisticular tuesday. Time for a little bit of straightness for this oh-so-crooked blog. So Sunday I was sitting around bored as hell trying to think of something to do. Finally I decided I was going to try out a new bar a friend recommended. I called up my good ex M and invited her to come along. This place was freakin awesome. It's called Ludwig's Garten: http://www.ludwigsgarten.com/. I had heard it was the best German bar in Philly and I wasn't disappointed. They had over a dozen imported drafts, nice solid wooden tables, and waitresses dressed in very lovely German attire. The food was just like that back in Southern PA, which means it was German and fucking sucks, but I saw they served rabbit and pheasant, so I'm going back to have that. Best yet were the prices. From 10-12 they had drafts for $2.95! I was in heaven. I drank so much I didn't even mind watching the Olympics! Ok, I did mind, since it was ice dancing. But I didn't mind quite so much. This place really got my blood pumping. It was like it brought my German heritage out for a bar brawl. Real testicular stuff. I felt like beating up a Polish guy and invading France. The down side: no hot chicks other than the waitresses. I guess that's the problem with really manly bars, women don't want to be there. Next time I'll have to try to bring some along so they can witness some good drunken machismo and tell me what an ass I was being. There's no point in being a drunken ass if no one is there to remember it for you. Speaking of which, I know I talked to a female friend of mine afterwards, but I didn't remember the conversation at all. That's why I must ask a favor of all readers out there in the internet world. If you got a call from a drunken me after midnight on Sunday, please let me know. I don't think I called anyone, but I didn't think that on my birthday either and we all know how that one turned out (see previous post). Have a nice testicular tuesday everyone!
POLT = listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin
Love, love, love! Doesn't anyone fuck anymore? - T-shirt
Ahhh, another testisticular tuesday. Time for a little bit of straightness for this oh-so-crooked blog. So Sunday I was sitting around bored as hell trying to think of something to do. Finally I decided I was going to try out a new bar a friend recommended. I called up my good ex M and invited her to come along. This place was freakin awesome. It's called Ludwig's Garten: http://www.ludwigsgarten.com/. I had heard it was the best German bar in Philly and I wasn't disappointed. They had over a dozen imported drafts, nice solid wooden tables, and waitresses dressed in very lovely German attire. The food was just like that back in Southern PA, which means it was German and fucking sucks, but I saw they served rabbit and pheasant, so I'm going back to have that. Best yet were the prices. From 10-12 they had drafts for $2.95! I was in heaven. I drank so much I didn't even mind watching the Olympics! Ok, I did mind, since it was ice dancing. But I didn't mind quite so much. This place really got my blood pumping. It was like it brought my German heritage out for a bar brawl. Real testicular stuff. I felt like beating up a Polish guy and invading France. The down side: no hot chicks other than the waitresses. I guess that's the problem with really manly bars, women don't want to be there. Next time I'll have to try to bring some along so they can witness some good drunken machismo and tell me what an ass I was being. There's no point in being a drunken ass if no one is there to remember it for you. Speaking of which, I know I talked to a female friend of mine afterwards, but I didn't remember the conversation at all. That's why I must ask a favor of all readers out there in the internet world. If you got a call from a drunken me after midnight on Sunday, please let me know. I don't think I called anyone, but I didn't think that on my birthday either and we all know how that one turned out (see previous post). Have a nice testicular tuesday everyone!
POLT = listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin
Love, love, love! Doesn't anyone fuck anymore? - T-shirt
Saturday, December 17, 2022
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Turning blue, such a lovely color for you...
Testicular Tuesdays with Johnnie
Hello boys and girls. Today's Testiticular Tuesdays color is blue, for blue balls. So for New Year's Eve this year I went to a friends house. He was throwing a party with about 30-50 ppl there, plenty of whom were beatiful women. I showed up a little after 9 and thought to myself "hey, I have plenty of time to find a pretty girl, see if she's interesting, and make out with her at midnight." Well, when I arrived I greeted several of my friends, including the guy Polt wanted to talk to but couldn't. While I'm talking to him I see his barely 19 yr old sister in the background (who is hella hot, but too young) and mention to him it was nice of him to bring her for me to make out with. To which he suggested I just try so he can watch me get shot down. So I told him that he knows his sister is easy, normal guy banter. I think no more of it and proceed to mingle. Pretty soon she comes over and talks to me, so I chatted with her a while, asked her how school was going, etc. About this time I noticed my beer was empty and went to get another. There I am all alone in the beer room when I turn around and see miss 19 walking toward me and she says "so, what are you doing later?" A bit shocked, I wittily replied "Uh, I dunno, what are you doing later?" (yeah, ladies, I'm that smooth). So my moral cunundrum begins. Should I stay faithful to my buddy or bang his hot 19 year old sister? I decided to have another beer and mull it over while I talk to her. Hey, she's hitting on me, so I'm not at fault, right? Anyway, I sit down on the couch next to her and she moves her leg over so it's rubbing up against mine while we talk some more. Pretty soon her 6'6" brother comes over and yells at me for hitting on his sister. I try to tell the drunken giant that he's got it wrong and she's hitting on me. After I got that sorted out I noticed it's 15 minutes until midnight and I gotta find out if I'm gonna be a cradle robber or not. So I go up to miss 19 and say "So, if I kiss you at midnight, will you slap me?" To which she replies "yes, I will." So midnight goes by with no smoochies and about 15 minutes later her and her brother come over to me and laugh at me. It was a damn set up! He had told her that I called her a slut and that she should flirt with me and turn me down. So I spent all evening at the party full of hot chicks with the one that was coming on to me so that the few available ladies that were left realize I missed my first shot and they'll be second or third pick. I just got drunk and went to bed with blue balls. The moral of this story? I'm gonna get that 6'6" bastard. Maybe I'll get him drunk and send him to Polt's place.
(okay, only cause he referenced me so many times here, I have a few replies:
1 - Why is it I was able to talk to 6'6"'s girlfriend, but not him???
2 - And yes, ladies, he really IS that smooth.
3 - When in the midst of contemplating an important decision, having another beer is generally NOT a helpful thing to do.
4 - You shoulda kissed her at midnight anyway. Yeah, you'd get slapped, but at least then you'd have gotten a kiss.
5 - Calling chicks at the same party you are at sluts is really not ever a good idea.
6 - Cradle Robber? you're what, 4 or 5 years older than her? Please.
7 - I think there's a few morals here: a) don't badmouth a guy's sister to his face; b) don't settle on whatever comes your way first; c) let Polt talk to whomever he wants to when you call him drunk at a party; d) it is exactly hese situations for which God gave you a right hand; and e) chicks lie.
8 - Get the 6'6" bastard drunk and send him to Polt's? Yes, please.)
POLT = listening to "Come On" by The Verve
Eminem should lighten up. I mean, my mom was a bitch too but I don't go writing songs about it. - Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog
Hello boys and girls. Today's Testiticular Tuesdays color is blue, for blue balls. So for New Year's Eve this year I went to a friends house. He was throwing a party with about 30-50 ppl there, plenty of whom were beatiful women. I showed up a little after 9 and thought to myself "hey, I have plenty of time to find a pretty girl, see if she's interesting, and make out with her at midnight." Well, when I arrived I greeted several of my friends, including the guy Polt wanted to talk to but couldn't. While I'm talking to him I see his barely 19 yr old sister in the background (who is hella hot, but too young) and mention to him it was nice of him to bring her for me to make out with. To which he suggested I just try so he can watch me get shot down. So I told him that he knows his sister is easy, normal guy banter. I think no more of it and proceed to mingle. Pretty soon she comes over and talks to me, so I chatted with her a while, asked her how school was going, etc. About this time I noticed my beer was empty and went to get another. There I am all alone in the beer room when I turn around and see miss 19 walking toward me and she says "so, what are you doing later?" A bit shocked, I wittily replied "Uh, I dunno, what are you doing later?" (yeah, ladies, I'm that smooth). So my moral cunundrum begins. Should I stay faithful to my buddy or bang his hot 19 year old sister? I decided to have another beer and mull it over while I talk to her. Hey, she's hitting on me, so I'm not at fault, right? Anyway, I sit down on the couch next to her and she moves her leg over so it's rubbing up against mine while we talk some more. Pretty soon her 6'6" brother comes over and yells at me for hitting on his sister. I try to tell the drunken giant that he's got it wrong and she's hitting on me. After I got that sorted out I noticed it's 15 minutes until midnight and I gotta find out if I'm gonna be a cradle robber or not. So I go up to miss 19 and say "So, if I kiss you at midnight, will you slap me?" To which she replies "yes, I will." So midnight goes by with no smoochies and about 15 minutes later her and her brother come over to me and laugh at me. It was a damn set up! He had told her that I called her a slut and that she should flirt with me and turn me down. So I spent all evening at the party full of hot chicks with the one that was coming on to me so that the few available ladies that were left realize I missed my first shot and they'll be second or third pick. I just got drunk and went to bed with blue balls. The moral of this story? I'm gonna get that 6'6" bastard. Maybe I'll get him drunk and send him to Polt's place.
(okay, only cause he referenced me so many times here, I have a few replies:
1 - Why is it I was able to talk to 6'6"'s girlfriend, but not him???
2 - And yes, ladies, he really IS that smooth.
3 - When in the midst of contemplating an important decision, having another beer is generally NOT a helpful thing to do.
4 - You shoulda kissed her at midnight anyway. Yeah, you'd get slapped, but at least then you'd have gotten a kiss.
5 - Calling chicks at the same party you are at sluts is really not ever a good idea.
6 - Cradle Robber? you're what, 4 or 5 years older than her? Please.
7 - I think there's a few morals here: a) don't badmouth a guy's sister to his face; b) don't settle on whatever comes your way first; c) let Polt talk to whomever he wants to when you call him drunk at a party; d) it is exactly hese situations for which God gave you a right hand; and e) chicks lie.
8 - Get the 6'6" bastard drunk and send him to Polt's? Yes, please.)
POLT = listening to "Come On" by The Verve
Eminem should lighten up. I mean, my mom was a bitch too but I don't go writing songs about it. - Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog
Thursday, November 24, 2005
COMMENTS
Okay, well I've been letting my comments stack up. I've got some here about 10 days old, so before they get any more stale, let's do this thing...
Firstly, we have Ag, replying to my cry for help about where I lie ont he Gay Color Scale. Fairy Godfather Mark stated I was between Glitter and Rainbow, and I pleaded with Ag to help me find out where I lie. her answer: I think your in between Pink and Fuschia so or either Fink or Pushia.I must say I have seen you be very glittery and rainbowy and there are times that I have been talking to you and you have not heard a word I said due to a cute guy or that could be a man thing and nothing to do with your gayness.Your FGF would know best since he is your FGF and I am just the Hag
Hmm, well I CAN be between glitter and rainbow, yes, but mainly when I'm drunk in a gay bar and flaming like a blowtorch (or is that blowing the "torch" of a flamer? but i digress...). Whatever, I don't think i'm all that far up the color scale...so I'll just move on...other than to say, you ought not underestimate "the Hag" by saying you're JUST the Hag. please! THE Hag is a great and wonderous position that we don't just hand out to anybody.
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Next, we have the aforementioned Fairy Godfather Mark who covers three topics in one post:
Not sure about all those soccer games you watch. I'm not that familiar with their nicknames or where they are from. Anyway, on to more important things. I have watched soccer games before, for the hot guys, but I'd enjoy those games more if the guys played only in a jock.
So, how do you like the new Esther Ritchie cd? I'm listening now and it seems pretty good and lots more danceable that her other recent albums. It's weird that her name is nowhere to be found within the cd notes or cover. Oh well...... Oh i LOVE it! At first, I only really like Hung Up. but now, after repeated listenings, I'm also diggin "I Love New York", "Jump", "Push" and few others. Overall, i think it's her best work in years!
And, for the new 18 yr old mayor here is a link with a picture of him. I'm certain that there will be better pics soon. He He.....http://www.hillsdalecountychamber.com/ I didn't go to the site, cause I saw something on the news about him. And he is quite the cutie. That's probably how he won. I'd vote for him for damn near any office he ran for.
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Ed, who's blog is located right here , commented as follows: Gosh...Bob Evans...originally from Cleveland, Ohio...and man that was one hell of a breakfast.....oh the memories.....now I have burritos made by illegal Mexicans...which are spicy hot! Talk about a morning wake up! Firstly, Ed, thanks for dropping by! Please do so again! Secondly, yeah, Bob Evans can be a nice pleasant way to start the day. Burritos for breakfast, spicy hot burritos for breakfast, whether their makers are legals or not, just seems so...wrong. Wrong on so many levels. But don't let that stop you from returning, everyone, no matter what they eat for breakfast, is welcome at the Palace.
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Next, we have Johnnie whining about the following: that's a damn lie! i said they'd make 8-8 not beat 8-8! they don't have to win out, they just can't lose more than one more. anyway, go to google and search for testicular tuesdays. i'm #1 on the list baby! Actualy, it's not a lie. When we made the bet, I made sure you said beat 8-8, cause I knew that gave me a leg up. But I tell ya what...I'll be magnanimous and say that if they somehow get to 8-8 or higher, you win. Still, I wouldn't be spending those last 10 bucks just yet. And I did Google "testiculaer Tuesdays" and you are not first. There is some 16 year old chick that's on there before you...although you are there. Which is pretty freakin cool, I think!
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Next, I have a comment from "Anonymous" but I'm pretty sure I know who it is. However, if she wants to remain anonymous, I'll go with it. Anyway, about Waynesboro's Christmas Tree lighting, she comments: I have been to the tree lighting extravaganza and it was all that I hoped it would be as well. I heard rumors that the tree is very skimpy this year and looks dumb at the top...at least they didn't go out with a bang. Maybe you should make the next blog poll to be how long it will be until the tree falls over, as it has done before. It broke off at the top, and does indeed look...wrong. And it is NOT an impressive tree. (However, I saw Greencastle's tree last weekend, and it's looking even more paltry than ours). I don't think the poll should be when it falls down, but perhaps how many times it falls down.
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Next I have two comments about the squirrel story. Firstly there is Katherine (her blog is located here) a first time commentor: Very funny! Thanks for sharing. Oh, Katherine, sweetie, you think that's funny, go check out my archives for other stories of my stupidity. I think I've got some there involving backwards underwear, a co-worker with PMS, and my first encounter with being drunk AND being found out by mom, when I was 17. Enjoy my humiliation.
And secondly, we have a comment from moonspells (and her clog is right here) again:LOL...for real!I, on the other hand, usually seek the little critters out...had one come right up and touch my shoe yesterday, looking for peanuts (which reminds me that I need to pick some up; I promised!). ;o)Absolutely adorable little furries but you're right, I wouldn't want one falling on my head either! Keep your eyes on the skies! I do! It's not like I'm phobic about squirrels, I don't really think much about them at all to be honest with you. But I tell you what, I'm not afraid of bathtubs either, but if one were to fall out of a tree nearby me, I'm pretty sure I'd jump and scream about that too!
POLT = listening to the Dallas/Denver game
Who's more foolish, the fool or the one who follows him? - Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars
Firstly, we have Ag, replying to my cry for help about where I lie ont he Gay Color Scale. Fairy Godfather Mark stated I was between Glitter and Rainbow, and I pleaded with Ag to help me find out where I lie. her answer: I think your in between Pink and Fuschia so or either Fink or Pushia.I must say I have seen you be very glittery and rainbowy and there are times that I have been talking to you and you have not heard a word I said due to a cute guy or that could be a man thing and nothing to do with your gayness.Your FGF would know best since he is your FGF and I am just the Hag
Hmm, well I CAN be between glitter and rainbow, yes, but mainly when I'm drunk in a gay bar and flaming like a blowtorch (or is that blowing the "torch" of a flamer? but i digress...). Whatever, I don't think i'm all that far up the color scale...so I'll just move on...other than to say, you ought not underestimate "the Hag" by saying you're JUST the Hag. please! THE Hag is a great and wonderous position that we don't just hand out to anybody.
***********************************************************
Next, we have the aforementioned Fairy Godfather Mark who covers three topics in one post:
Not sure about all those soccer games you watch. I'm not that familiar with their nicknames or where they are from. Anyway, on to more important things. I have watched soccer games before, for the hot guys, but I'd enjoy those games more if the guys played only in a jock.
So, how do you like the new Esther Ritchie cd? I'm listening now and it seems pretty good and lots more danceable that her other recent albums. It's weird that her name is nowhere to be found within the cd notes or cover. Oh well...... Oh i LOVE it! At first, I only really like Hung Up. but now, after repeated listenings, I'm also diggin "I Love New York", "Jump", "Push" and few others. Overall, i think it's her best work in years!
And, for the new 18 yr old mayor here is a link with a picture of him. I'm certain that there will be better pics soon. He He.....http://www.hillsdalecountychamber.com/ I didn't go to the site, cause I saw something on the news about him. And he is quite the cutie. That's probably how he won. I'd vote for him for damn near any office he ran for.
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Ed, who's blog is located right here , commented as follows: Gosh...Bob Evans...originally from Cleveland, Ohio...and man that was one hell of a breakfast.....oh the memories.....now I have burritos made by illegal Mexicans...which are spicy hot! Talk about a morning wake up! Firstly, Ed, thanks for dropping by! Please do so again! Secondly, yeah, Bob Evans can be a nice pleasant way to start the day. Burritos for breakfast, spicy hot burritos for breakfast, whether their makers are legals or not, just seems so...wrong. Wrong on so many levels. But don't let that stop you from returning, everyone, no matter what they eat for breakfast, is welcome at the Palace.
***********************************************************
Next, we have Johnnie whining about the following: that's a damn lie! i said they'd make 8-8 not beat 8-8! they don't have to win out, they just can't lose more than one more. anyway, go to google and search for testicular tuesdays. i'm #1 on the list baby! Actualy, it's not a lie. When we made the bet, I made sure you said beat 8-8, cause I knew that gave me a leg up. But I tell ya what...I'll be magnanimous and say that if they somehow get to 8-8 or higher, you win. Still, I wouldn't be spending those last 10 bucks just yet. And I did Google "testiculaer Tuesdays" and you are not first. There is some 16 year old chick that's on there before you...although you are there. Which is pretty freakin cool, I think!
***********************************************************
Next, I have a comment from "Anonymous" but I'm pretty sure I know who it is. However, if she wants to remain anonymous, I'll go with it. Anyway, about Waynesboro's Christmas Tree lighting, she comments: I have been to the tree lighting extravaganza and it was all that I hoped it would be as well. I heard rumors that the tree is very skimpy this year and looks dumb at the top...at least they didn't go out with a bang. Maybe you should make the next blog poll to be how long it will be until the tree falls over, as it has done before. It broke off at the top, and does indeed look...wrong. And it is NOT an impressive tree. (However, I saw Greencastle's tree last weekend, and it's looking even more paltry than ours). I don't think the poll should be when it falls down, but perhaps how many times it falls down.
***********************************************************
Next I have two comments about the squirrel story. Firstly there is Katherine (her blog is located here) a first time commentor: Very funny! Thanks for sharing. Oh, Katherine, sweetie, you think that's funny, go check out my archives for other stories of my stupidity. I think I've got some there involving backwards underwear, a co-worker with PMS, and my first encounter with being drunk AND being found out by mom, when I was 17. Enjoy my humiliation.
And secondly, we have a comment from moonspells (and her clog is right here) again:LOL...for real!I, on the other hand, usually seek the little critters out...had one come right up and touch my shoe yesterday, looking for peanuts (which reminds me that I need to pick some up; I promised!). ;o)Absolutely adorable little furries but you're right, I wouldn't want one falling on my head either! Keep your eyes on the skies! I do! It's not like I'm phobic about squirrels, I don't really think much about them at all to be honest with you. But I tell you what, I'm not afraid of bathtubs either, but if one were to fall out of a tree nearby me, I'm pretty sure I'd jump and scream about that too!
POLT = listening to the Dallas/Denver game
Who's more foolish, the fool or the one who follows him? - Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I ain't missing you at all..
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
(See, this place here is where I would have put Johnnie's Testicular Tuesday column....if I had recieved one. And this, even after we spoke just last night and he said he was gonna get me a column this week. I waited until 1000pm, I thought that long enough. *SIGH* oh well, I guess he's forgotten about us all, gentle readers. I'll keep the title up, perhaps as a memorial to the glory that once was, and God willing, may be again.)
POLT = listening to "Warning" by Green Day
I thought you'd be out painting the town red...or whatever color they're painting it now. - Lindsey, Queer As Folk
(See, this place here is where I would have put Johnnie's Testicular Tuesday column....if I had recieved one. And this, even after we spoke just last night and he said he was gonna get me a column this week. I waited until 1000pm, I thought that long enough. *SIGH* oh well, I guess he's forgotten about us all, gentle readers. I'll keep the title up, perhaps as a memorial to the glory that once was, and God willing, may be again.)
POLT = listening to "Warning" by Green Day
I thought you'd be out painting the town red...or whatever color they're painting it now. - Lindsey, Queer As Folk
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
So I have this friend that seems to date a lot of virgins. Well, they're usually virgins when they start dating him but never are when they're done. He seems like nice guy, not the kind to brag about hooking up with virgins etc, it just seems to happen. I think it might be because they need to be extra naive to date him, I dunno. Anyway, he recently started dating a mutual friend of ours who also happens to be a virgin. She's 22 and still a virgin, which I didn't know was even possible. But I've met 19 year olds that never got their drivers licenses, so I guess those rites of passage can just fly buy if you never figure out how to drive a stick. Anyhow, I've now dubbed my friend "Cherry Picker." It doesn't seem to bother him too much, but he's deathly afraid I'll call him that when his new girlfriend walks into the room. So the testicular part of this story? Whether he ends up with blue balls or busts a nut, I think I'll catch a vicious kick to the groin from his lady friend if I mention her boyfriend's new nickname to her.
POLT = listening to "Gold Dust Woman" by Fleetwood Mac
Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children. - Sam Austin
So I have this friend that seems to date a lot of virgins. Well, they're usually virgins when they start dating him but never are when they're done. He seems like nice guy, not the kind to brag about hooking up with virgins etc, it just seems to happen. I think it might be because they need to be extra naive to date him, I dunno. Anyway, he recently started dating a mutual friend of ours who also happens to be a virgin. She's 22 and still a virgin, which I didn't know was even possible. But I've met 19 year olds that never got their drivers licenses, so I guess those rites of passage can just fly buy if you never figure out how to drive a stick. Anyhow, I've now dubbed my friend "Cherry Picker." It doesn't seem to bother him too much, but he's deathly afraid I'll call him that when his new girlfriend walks into the room. So the testicular part of this story? Whether he ends up with blue balls or busts a nut, I think I'll catch a vicious kick to the groin from his lady friend if I mention her boyfriend's new nickname to her.
POLT = listening to "Gold Dust Woman" by Fleetwood Mac
Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children. - Sam Austin
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
We'd rather have chew toys then yule logs...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
Back by popular demand, this testicular tuesday edition is about Montana and the Christmas Balls. I've mentioned Montana before, but for those of you that don't know he is my two year old golden retriever. Last Christmas Montana wreaked havok with the bulbs on the Christmas tree. With a tail that can easily knock over three full beer bottles in a single swipe, ornaments had no chance of staying on the tree. To make matters worse, Montana is obsessed with everything balls, particularly tennis balls or anything about that size and shape (probably because he no longer has balls of his own). So not only would he knock the bulbs off the tree, he would also pick them up in his mouth, carrying them away and chew on them, breaking them into little pieces. So this year we have no bulbs on our tree, just lights and strings. Let this be a lesson to you, Polt. Sometimes a ball obsession is not a healthy thing.
(Polt's reply: Johnnie, Johnnie, Johnnie, I believe that my ball obsession and Montana's are just slighty different. I mean, I don't really want to carry the ones I get all around in mouth, nor chew on them (much), and certainly I dont want to break them into little pieces. And unlike Montana, I am still intact, as God intended. But lessons about gay obsessions from straight snot nosed little punks who are young enough to be your son and can't seem to get thier columns written on time are always appreciated.)
POLT = listening to "Where It's At" by Beck
If you dan't have anything nice to say, just keep quiet and make a face.
Back by popular demand, this testicular tuesday edition is about Montana and the Christmas Balls. I've mentioned Montana before, but for those of you that don't know he is my two year old golden retriever. Last Christmas Montana wreaked havok with the bulbs on the Christmas tree. With a tail that can easily knock over three full beer bottles in a single swipe, ornaments had no chance of staying on the tree. To make matters worse, Montana is obsessed with everything balls, particularly tennis balls or anything about that size and shape (probably because he no longer has balls of his own). So not only would he knock the bulbs off the tree, he would also pick them up in his mouth, carrying them away and chew on them, breaking them into little pieces. So this year we have no bulbs on our tree, just lights and strings. Let this be a lesson to you, Polt. Sometimes a ball obsession is not a healthy thing.
(Polt's reply: Johnnie, Johnnie, Johnnie, I believe that my ball obsession and Montana's are just slighty different. I mean, I don't really want to carry the ones I get all around in mouth, nor chew on them (much), and certainly I dont want to break them into little pieces. And unlike Montana, I am still intact, as God intended. But lessons about gay obsessions from straight snot nosed little punks who are young enough to be your son and can't seem to get thier columns written on time are always appreciated.)
POLT = listening to "Where It's At" by Beck
If you dan't have anything nice to say, just keep quiet and make a face.
Monday, September 26, 2005
The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all...
Hmmm, what a topic.......
Anyway, "The Godfather" Mark comments:
Fine! Make me choke on my donut and snort apple cider thru my nose. See if I care!In my mind the size of balls and the size of testicles are not especially related to each other. (The thought of Johnny's testicles....hmmm.....well, I better not go into that now.) I know many an old friend that had huge balls (and sometimes stupidity) where the testicles were actually very very tiny.As for the soccer or baseball team references they are beyond me so I didn't really understand them.Let me go blow the apple cider out of my nose again.
Well, I'm not certain one should be eating a donut and apple cider at the same time, but since you're off in the MidWest there, I suppose they have thier own strange customs....
I too have known someone with big balls, but very small testicles (quite a shame that was actually). We'll try to keep the sports references to a minimum here at the Palace. And yes....Johnnie's testicles are really not a subject for here...although should he wish to discuss the subject....in depth and in great intimate detail, I'm certain he knows how to contact both of us.
(Apple cider in your nostrils...probably burns more than cholronated pool water. tsk, tsk.)
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And then, Johnnie, himself, commented right after Mark's:
see, i'm a hit, the people have spoken and they love me. i should have my own weekly feature.damn i'm cool
Well, it's not so much you that's a hit. it's moreso your testicles that are a hit. If you wanna have your own weekly feature about your testicles, where you discuss them, or perhaps send photos, I'll certain post it for all your....ahem, fans to read. Perhaps along with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo, we could have, like, "Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie!" Or "Sweet Nut-in Saturdays, with Johnnie!" Or just "Ball Talk with Johnnie". "Johnnie's Testicular Tales"?
Any other suggestions?
POLT = listening to "Blue" by Eiffell 65
Watch out Metropolis! We've got a stolen car, a full tank of gas, and we ain't using turn signals! - Harley Quinn # 15
Anyway, "The Godfather" Mark comments:
Fine! Make me choke on my donut and snort apple cider thru my nose. See if I care!In my mind the size of balls and the size of testicles are not especially related to each other. (The thought of Johnny's testicles....hmmm.....well, I better not go into that now.) I know many an old friend that had huge balls (and sometimes stupidity) where the testicles were actually very very tiny.As for the soccer or baseball team references they are beyond me so I didn't really understand them.Let me go blow the apple cider out of my nose again.
Well, I'm not certain one should be eating a donut and apple cider at the same time, but since you're off in the MidWest there, I suppose they have thier own strange customs....
I too have known someone with big balls, but very small testicles (quite a shame that was actually). We'll try to keep the sports references to a minimum here at the Palace. And yes....Johnnie's testicles are really not a subject for here...although should he wish to discuss the subject....in depth and in great intimate detail, I'm certain he knows how to contact both of us.
(Apple cider in your nostrils...probably burns more than cholronated pool water. tsk, tsk.)
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And then, Johnnie, himself, commented right after Mark's:
see, i'm a hit, the people have spoken and they love me. i should have my own weekly feature.damn i'm cool
Well, it's not so much you that's a hit. it's moreso your testicles that are a hit. If you wanna have your own weekly feature about your testicles, where you discuss them, or perhaps send photos, I'll certain post it for all your....ahem, fans to read. Perhaps along with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photo, we could have, like, "Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie!" Or "Sweet Nut-in Saturdays, with Johnnie!" Or just "Ball Talk with Johnnie". "Johnnie's Testicular Tales"?
Any other suggestions?
POLT = listening to "Blue" by Eiffell 65
Watch out Metropolis! We've got a stolen car, a full tank of gas, and we ain't using turn signals! - Harley Quinn # 15
Friday, April 27, 2007
I'm betting it's only a matter of time...
This evening, Johnnie (previously of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie) called me and we spoke of numerous things.
One of the Democratic Presidential Debate last night. No, neither of us watched it. I said I wasn't interested because I'm supporting Edwards. Which caused Johnnie to groan. He's been an Obama supporter for months. Johnnie is living in Philadelphia, and he saw Obama speak in person and liked what he had to say. I've been telling Johnnie just as long that Obama is unelectable. There's no way this country is going to elect a black man to president at this point in time. Personally, I'm not opposed to Obama being president, but since I live out here in the country, with the rednecks, and not a progressive, open minded, cultured large city, i think I see how a larger portion of the country feels. And there is a LOT of people around here that will never vote for a black man. And I'm from a BLUE state. I'm not condoning that line of thought, not saying it's right, but I AM saying that's the way it is.
Well, Johnnie wanted to place a bet on the outcome. So this is the result, and I'm recording it here for all eternity so when the event occurs, we've got it recorded now. If Obama is elected President in November 2008, then I will wear a George W. Bush shirt to work for one whole day.
If however, Obama does not with the Democratic nomination, then Johnnie loses the bet and he has to do the following. I have here a t-shirt, a pink one, that reads "I (heart) Polt" [with a heart drawn on it and my real name instead of Polt]. I worked with a guy at Borders who wore it his whole entire last day at the store and then gave it to me afterwards. At any rate, if Obama does not get the Democratic nomination, then the next time Johnnie is back here, he must wear that t-shirt the entire evening he's with me, even while we go out to eat and while we walk around a local mall.
Either way, many many photos will be taken. Personally, I'm thinking what particular places I'd like to show Johnnie off at, perhaps the local gay bar too?
POLT
Money is like a big dick. It's nice if you have it, but the fact that you give me some is not going to make me love you. - Dan Renzi
One of the Democratic Presidential Debate last night. No, neither of us watched it. I said I wasn't interested because I'm supporting Edwards. Which caused Johnnie to groan. He's been an Obama supporter for months. Johnnie is living in Philadelphia, and he saw Obama speak in person and liked what he had to say. I've been telling Johnnie just as long that Obama is unelectable. There's no way this country is going to elect a black man to president at this point in time. Personally, I'm not opposed to Obama being president, but since I live out here in the country, with the rednecks, and not a progressive, open minded, cultured large city, i think I see how a larger portion of the country feels. And there is a LOT of people around here that will never vote for a black man. And I'm from a BLUE state. I'm not condoning that line of thought, not saying it's right, but I AM saying that's the way it is.
Well, Johnnie wanted to place a bet on the outcome. So this is the result, and I'm recording it here for all eternity so when the event occurs, we've got it recorded now. If Obama is elected President in November 2008, then I will wear a George W. Bush shirt to work for one whole day.
If however, Obama does not with the Democratic nomination, then Johnnie loses the bet and he has to do the following. I have here a t-shirt, a pink one, that reads "I (heart) Polt" [with a heart drawn on it and my real name instead of Polt]. I worked with a guy at Borders who wore it his whole entire last day at the store and then gave it to me afterwards. At any rate, if Obama does not get the Democratic nomination, then the next time Johnnie is back here, he must wear that t-shirt the entire evening he's with me, even while we go out to eat and while we walk around a local mall.
Either way, many many photos will be taken. Personally, I'm thinking what particular places I'd like to show Johnnie off at, perhaps the local gay bar too?
POLT
Money is like a big dick. It's nice if you have it, but the fact that you give me some is not going to make me love you. - Dan Renzi
Monday, July 15, 2019
SO...
My Monday. I got up a bit before 7AM (as I did on Saturday AND Sunday as well...even though I was off all three days and didn't have to get up at ANY specific time). I putzed around on my phone, then got up showered, shaved and threw a load of clothes in the washer.
I went to Rutters for my coffee and breakfast, and ate them while reading the paper. Then after throwing the laundry into the dryer, I headed out for my chores.
I mailed a package at the Post Office. I went to Advance Auto Parts to get a new radio antenna, as my old had...well, fallen off at some point (don't ask) and some new windshield wipers. The guy had the wipers and replaced them for me, but didn't have the antenna in stock, although he could have it by 330. Fine, I paid for all and said I'd come back when they called me it was in.
I washed Belle, it had been a while since she'd been cleaned. And then went to Wal-Mart. The air conditioner in my bedroom hasn't been working that well as of late and since I've had it the entire time I've been in the house (and the previous people left it here, so who knows how old it was), and since last night it didn't really work much at all, I decided to just go buy a new one. And did.
I returned home, and took the a/c up the bedroom and opened it up. But thought it might be a better idea to have two people work on it, so I called mom. She couldn't come then, but could later in the day. So I said I call her in the afternoon. And then I got the laundry and folded it.
I had lunch, and then left to house to go visit someone. Johnnie (of Testicular Tuesdays from the Palace's early days [search for it, you'll find his columns]) had texted me last night. He, his wife and his new daughter were back at his parent's house here in the area, and would be for a few days and asked if I wanted to come visit. Well of COURSE I did! And that's where I went.
I got there and immediately met Lilly, and got to hold her. Johnnie and I and his wife had a nice pleasant visit. His mother-in-law was also with them, but since she only spoke like 4 English words, she and I didn't talk, other to say and wave Hi and Bye. But Lilly herself was just adorable. And after a really nice visit of a little over and hour, I left and came home. Don't know when I'll see them again, as they're moving back to China, Johnnie got a different job there, but I'm really glad I got to see them now.
I came home, and as it was closing in on 330, and I've not heard from the auto parts store, I called mom and asked if she could come in then and went they called, I just go out then. She said sure. So she came in a we started to attempt to put it together and get it ready to go in the window.
And then they called. So out I went. When I got there, Cory, the guy I was dealing is wasn't there, even though he's the one that called me ten minutes before, and the guy who WAS there, handed me the new antenna and said, "Here ya go." Well I looked at it dumbly, cause Cory said he'd help me figure out how to put it on. And yet, Cory wasn't here. So I said, "Okay" and headed out to Belle. I unscrewed what was there and the new one just screwed on and BOOM, I was ready to go. Who knew I was such a great auto mechanic?
I came home and back upstairs where i left mom. She had the new a/c unit assembled and the old unit out of the window. I'm not sure how she herself managed to actually lift that out of the window all by herself. I mean it's not extremely heavy, but she IS 76 years old!
Anyway we got it into the window, turned it on, and DAMN, it started to cool the room down right away! Mom said it was gonna be like a meat locker, if I left it on until I went to bed....which I did. Cause I prefer sleeping in a meat locker than a sauna.
SO after all that, I took mom out to eat to Wendy's. And then we just went home. I was reading on the sofa and then fell asleep for nearly an hour! That was some nap.
So all in a all a busy day of accomplishments.
Oh, and here's pics of me and Lilly!
POLT
My Monday. I got up a bit before 7AM (as I did on Saturday AND Sunday as well...even though I was off all three days and didn't have to get up at ANY specific time). I putzed around on my phone, then got up showered, shaved and threw a load of clothes in the washer.
I went to Rutters for my coffee and breakfast, and ate them while reading the paper. Then after throwing the laundry into the dryer, I headed out for my chores.
I mailed a package at the Post Office. I went to Advance Auto Parts to get a new radio antenna, as my old had...well, fallen off at some point (don't ask) and some new windshield wipers. The guy had the wipers and replaced them for me, but didn't have the antenna in stock, although he could have it by 330. Fine, I paid for all and said I'd come back when they called me it was in.
I washed Belle, it had been a while since she'd been cleaned. And then went to Wal-Mart. The air conditioner in my bedroom hasn't been working that well as of late and since I've had it the entire time I've been in the house (and the previous people left it here, so who knows how old it was), and since last night it didn't really work much at all, I decided to just go buy a new one. And did.
I returned home, and took the a/c up the bedroom and opened it up. But thought it might be a better idea to have two people work on it, so I called mom. She couldn't come then, but could later in the day. So I said I call her in the afternoon. And then I got the laundry and folded it.
I had lunch, and then left to house to go visit someone. Johnnie (of Testicular Tuesdays from the Palace's early days [search for it, you'll find his columns]) had texted me last night. He, his wife and his new daughter were back at his parent's house here in the area, and would be for a few days and asked if I wanted to come visit. Well of COURSE I did! And that's where I went.
I got there and immediately met Lilly, and got to hold her. Johnnie and I and his wife had a nice pleasant visit. His mother-in-law was also with them, but since she only spoke like 4 English words, she and I didn't talk, other to say and wave Hi and Bye. But Lilly herself was just adorable. And after a really nice visit of a little over and hour, I left and came home. Don't know when I'll see them again, as they're moving back to China, Johnnie got a different job there, but I'm really glad I got to see them now.
I came home, and as it was closing in on 330, and I've not heard from the auto parts store, I called mom and asked if she could come in then and went they called, I just go out then. She said sure. So she came in a we started to attempt to put it together and get it ready to go in the window.
And then they called. So out I went. When I got there, Cory, the guy I was dealing is wasn't there, even though he's the one that called me ten minutes before, and the guy who WAS there, handed me the new antenna and said, "Here ya go." Well I looked at it dumbly, cause Cory said he'd help me figure out how to put it on. And yet, Cory wasn't here. So I said, "Okay" and headed out to Belle. I unscrewed what was there and the new one just screwed on and BOOM, I was ready to go. Who knew I was such a great auto mechanic?
I came home and back upstairs where i left mom. She had the new a/c unit assembled and the old unit out of the window. I'm not sure how she herself managed to actually lift that out of the window all by herself. I mean it's not extremely heavy, but she IS 76 years old!
Anyway we got it into the window, turned it on, and DAMN, it started to cool the room down right away! Mom said it was gonna be like a meat locker, if I left it on until I went to bed....which I did. Cause I prefer sleeping in a meat locker than a sauna.
SO after all that, I took mom out to eat to Wendy's. And then we just went home. I was reading on the sofa and then fell asleep for nearly an hour! That was some nap.
So all in a all a busy day of accomplishments.
Oh, and here's pics of me and Lilly!
POLT
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Someone book me a room (Part 333)...
Chapter 11, Page 28...
Saturday, I got up and to work without problems. Again, I was the only one from my department there and I handled everything that came up, which wasn't much. I did get the new clients taken care of and some other paperwork done. And then I came home.
I hung out here for a bit, on the computer, watching TV and reading my book, until my company arrived: Johnnie! YAY! He had texted me on Thanksgiving he was back in the area, and we planned for him to come over this night.
I got to know Johnnie through his uncle, Conrad, that I played D&D with. Conrad's wife, Tanda, also played with us. And about 17 or 18 years ago, when they stopped playing, the had had two girls.
Anyway, Saturday night, Johnnie texted me and asked if he could bring Tanda and the girls along. I really just wanted to spend some time talking with Johnnie, and not with someone I hadn't had contact with in 20 years and two people I didn't really know at all. But what could I say? So I said sure, bring them along. They ate supper and Johnnie's grandmother's and then headed down. I got some food from Rutters and waited for them.
When they got here, we all had a pretty damn good time. They were here for about two hours. Tanda and I caught up on what we had been doing over the last 20 years. I found out from Johnnie all about his future plans.
On December 29th, he's moving to China! He'll be working at the University of Shanghai. He'll be a professor, but he wont be teaching. He'll have his own lab, where he'll be working with and on proteins. He'll have the ability to hire up to 9 people to work with him. And he'll be doing amazing science-y things there (that last part is what I added, not what he said).
It just amazing to me....I can't believe it. I first met Johnnie when he was 15. We got closer when he got his license and a car and could drive down to my apartment to hang out. He came there when he was upset, when he was angry at his family, when he had great news to tell me, or bad news. My apartment was a refuge for him.
Then he want off to college in Bradford PA (and that's how we came to stop there on our way to Toronto...it was originally to visit with Johnnie). And then for a short time, he had his own column here on the Palace called Testicular Tuesdays. And then he graduated and started his grad work in Philadelphia at the University of Pennsylvania (I got to visit him once there, seeing his office and apartment and having an unbelievably delicious sub there). And once he got his Masters there, he stayed there to get his PhD. And after getting his PhD, he moved a few years ago to University Of Chicago where he continued the work he did earlier. He's had several studies published in peer review journals. Apparently, he's known in that particular field (not world reknown, not a super star or anything, but people have at least heard of him).
And now...NOW, he's going to a foreign country, China of all places, will have his OWN lab and people working under him! My GOD! It's mind boggling. I mean, there's NO WAY I would have ever thought he would every be in a position to do something like this.
I'm very proud of him. He said he'll be making a few trips each year back home here, and he said he'll get in touch with me when he does. And he had me download an app onto my phone so we could chat once he gets there, like Facebook messager, so it's not like he'll just disappear overseas.
But still...wow....unbelievable.
Anyway, after they left, I watched a repeat of last week's Doctor Who (since I was watching The Laramie Project when it aired) and then this week's episode. And then I went to bed, read some and then went to sleep.
POLT
Saturday, I got up and to work without problems. Again, I was the only one from my department there and I handled everything that came up, which wasn't much. I did get the new clients taken care of and some other paperwork done. And then I came home.
I hung out here for a bit, on the computer, watching TV and reading my book, until my company arrived: Johnnie! YAY! He had texted me on Thanksgiving he was back in the area, and we planned for him to come over this night.
I got to know Johnnie through his uncle, Conrad, that I played D&D with. Conrad's wife, Tanda, also played with us. And about 17 or 18 years ago, when they stopped playing, the had had two girls.
Anyway, Saturday night, Johnnie texted me and asked if he could bring Tanda and the girls along. I really just wanted to spend some time talking with Johnnie, and not with someone I hadn't had contact with in 20 years and two people I didn't really know at all. But what could I say? So I said sure, bring them along. They ate supper and Johnnie's grandmother's and then headed down. I got some food from Rutters and waited for them.
When they got here, we all had a pretty damn good time. They were here for about two hours. Tanda and I caught up on what we had been doing over the last 20 years. I found out from Johnnie all about his future plans.
On December 29th, he's moving to China! He'll be working at the University of Shanghai. He'll be a professor, but he wont be teaching. He'll have his own lab, where he'll be working with and on proteins. He'll have the ability to hire up to 9 people to work with him. And he'll be doing amazing science-y things there (that last part is what I added, not what he said).
It just amazing to me....I can't believe it. I first met Johnnie when he was 15. We got closer when he got his license and a car and could drive down to my apartment to hang out. He came there when he was upset, when he was angry at his family, when he had great news to tell me, or bad news. My apartment was a refuge for him.
Then he want off to college in Bradford PA (and that's how we came to stop there on our way to Toronto...it was originally to visit with Johnnie). And then for a short time, he had his own column here on the Palace called Testicular Tuesdays. And then he graduated and started his grad work in Philadelphia at the University of Pennsylvania (I got to visit him once there, seeing his office and apartment and having an unbelievably delicious sub there). And once he got his Masters there, he stayed there to get his PhD. And after getting his PhD, he moved a few years ago to University Of Chicago where he continued the work he did earlier. He's had several studies published in peer review journals. Apparently, he's known in that particular field (not world reknown, not a super star or anything, but people have at least heard of him).
And now...NOW, he's going to a foreign country, China of all places, will have his OWN lab and people working under him! My GOD! It's mind boggling. I mean, there's NO WAY I would have ever thought he would every be in a position to do something like this.
I'm very proud of him. He said he'll be making a few trips each year back home here, and he said he'll get in touch with me when he does. And he had me download an app onto my phone so we could chat once he gets there, like Facebook messager, so it's not like he'll just disappear overseas.
But still...wow....unbelievable.
Anyway, after they left, I watched a repeat of last week's Doctor Who (since I was watching The Laramie Project when it aired) and then this week's episode. And then I went to bed, read some and then went to sleep.
POLT
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Do these cultures clash or am i living in the past...
Johnnie, former of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (check the archives for 2005 if you don't know what I'm talking about) , called me tonight and we spoke for a bit. this is part of our conversation:
Johnnie: Hey, Polt, I'm gonna do something even you haven't done!
Polt: And what would that be?
Johnnie: A half-Asian and half-Mexican.
Polt: Wow. Good for you.
Johnnie: You've not had anyone like that have you?
Polt: Well, not that I know of, but I don't really ask my fucks thier geneology. I mean I've been with some mutts in my time. And who knows what I may have had in the back rooms of Toronto, but no, I don't think I have.
Johnnie: We'll be covering most of the world. I cover Europe and she covers South America and Asia! Very cultured!
Polt: You just need to have the two of you and a chick from Africa and you'll get a majority of the world.
Johnnie: Yeah, that'd be cool. Lots of continents.
Polt: OR, you, the Asia-Mexican chick, the black chick, and a penguin! that would give you Antarctica too!
Johnnie: Hey, if that was the only way for it to happen, if it was the deal-breaker, then I guess I'd be down with the penguin. But only a girl penguin, cause a boy penguin would just be gross.
Yeah, we're very progressive, he and I.
POLT
You don't bring a toothy grin to a hostage situation. - Polt's moronic boss, February 17, 2004
Johnnie: Hey, Polt, I'm gonna do something even you haven't done!
Polt: And what would that be?
Johnnie: A half-Asian and half-Mexican.
Polt: Wow. Good for you.
Johnnie: You've not had anyone like that have you?
Polt: Well, not that I know of, but I don't really ask my fucks thier geneology. I mean I've been with some mutts in my time. And who knows what I may have had in the back rooms of Toronto, but no, I don't think I have.
Johnnie: We'll be covering most of the world. I cover Europe and she covers South America and Asia! Very cultured!
Polt: You just need to have the two of you and a chick from Africa and you'll get a majority of the world.
Johnnie: Yeah, that'd be cool. Lots of continents.
Polt: OR, you, the Asia-Mexican chick, the black chick, and a penguin! that would give you Antarctica too!
Johnnie: Hey, if that was the only way for it to happen, if it was the deal-breaker, then I guess I'd be down with the penguin. But only a girl penguin, cause a boy penguin would just be gross.
Yeah, we're very progressive, he and I.
POLT
You don't bring a toothy grin to a hostage situation. - Polt's moronic boss, February 17, 2004
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Bits-N-Pieces
Yesterday, Ghostie came over in the afternoon and we dived into the middle bedroom/library. We took all the boxes out of it, moved the shelves to where I wanted them, and then brought the boxes back in one at a time and unloaded them. We went through at minimum 20 boxes of books, magazines, and graphic novels. But at least everything's up on the shelves. They're not where I want them, the organizing of them is still forthcoming, but at least one can move about the room and see what I have on the shelves.
**************************************
You may or not recall my friend Johnnie. I've known him for 12 years, he used to write the Testicular Tuesdays column here on the Palace (just search for it in the box up in the upper left if you're interested), he's a grad student in Philly pursuing his PhD, and he's just an all around great guy and cool friend.
Anyway, he called me last night and we chatted. He told me this past March he got back into Magic the Gathering, and has apparently become quite good at it. He went to Tampa recently to play in some kinda contest, a Grand Prix, he called it? I don't know, at any rate, he ended up coming in third out of a couple hundred players. That was good enough to win him $1500 and get him an invite to the Nationals in San Diego next year. (Who knew Magic The Gathering even HAD Nationals?) And he's rated 28th in North America.
I've never played the game, but I think this is kinda impressive nonetheless. And there's even an article about him online HERE. (he's looking pretty scruffy in the picture cause he doesn't shave alot now, and rest assured I harrassed him about that pretty mercilessly) Again, this might mean more to me if I played the game, but being ranked 28th in ANYTHING in North America seems a bit noteworthy, no?
******************************************
Oh. My. God! I am SO there!
I mean, hot, shirtless, Asian with a hairthing! How could I NOT be? And this proves Ninjas rule, cause come on, Pirate Assassin would jsut be silly.
POLT Listening to the Falcons - Saints football game
My shellphone isn't working, call me on my clam line. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Yesterday, Ghostie came over in the afternoon and we dived into the middle bedroom/library. We took all the boxes out of it, moved the shelves to where I wanted them, and then brought the boxes back in one at a time and unloaded them. We went through at minimum 20 boxes of books, magazines, and graphic novels. But at least everything's up on the shelves. They're not where I want them, the organizing of them is still forthcoming, but at least one can move about the room and see what I have on the shelves.
**************************************
You may or not recall my friend Johnnie. I've known him for 12 years, he used to write the Testicular Tuesdays column here on the Palace (just search for it in the box up in the upper left if you're interested), he's a grad student in Philly pursuing his PhD, and he's just an all around great guy and cool friend.
Anyway, he called me last night and we chatted. He told me this past March he got back into Magic the Gathering, and has apparently become quite good at it. He went to Tampa recently to play in some kinda contest, a Grand Prix, he called it? I don't know, at any rate, he ended up coming in third out of a couple hundred players. That was good enough to win him $1500 and get him an invite to the Nationals in San Diego next year. (Who knew Magic The Gathering even HAD Nationals?) And he's rated 28th in North America.
I've never played the game, but I think this is kinda impressive nonetheless. And there's even an article about him online HERE. (he's looking pretty scruffy in the picture cause he doesn't shave alot now, and rest assured I harrassed him about that pretty mercilessly) Again, this might mean more to me if I played the game, but being ranked 28th in ANYTHING in North America seems a bit noteworthy, no?
******************************************
Oh. My. God! I am SO there!
I mean, hot, shirtless, Asian with a hairthing! How could I NOT be? And this proves Ninjas rule, cause come on, Pirate Assassin would jsut be silly.
POLT Listening to the Falcons - Saints football game
My shellphone isn't working, call me on my clam line. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
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