Check This Out!
Check out the beauty, and slight dystopian-ness, of Shanghai China at dusk.
This is where my friend Johnnie, he formerly of Testicular Tuesdays, is working, living and raising his family.
POLT
Showing posts sorted by date for query testicular Tuesdays. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query testicular Tuesdays. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Monday, March 06, 2023
Saturday, December 17, 2022
Monday, July 15, 2019
SO...
My Monday. I got up a bit before 7AM (as I did on Saturday AND Sunday as well...even though I was off all three days and didn't have to get up at ANY specific time). I putzed around on my phone, then got up showered, shaved and threw a load of clothes in the washer.
I went to Rutters for my coffee and breakfast, and ate them while reading the paper. Then after throwing the laundry into the dryer, I headed out for my chores.
I mailed a package at the Post Office. I went to Advance Auto Parts to get a new radio antenna, as my old had...well, fallen off at some point (don't ask) and some new windshield wipers. The guy had the wipers and replaced them for me, but didn't have the antenna in stock, although he could have it by 330. Fine, I paid for all and said I'd come back when they called me it was in.
I washed Belle, it had been a while since she'd been cleaned. And then went to Wal-Mart. The air conditioner in my bedroom hasn't been working that well as of late and since I've had it the entire time I've been in the house (and the previous people left it here, so who knows how old it was), and since last night it didn't really work much at all, I decided to just go buy a new one. And did.
I returned home, and took the a/c up the bedroom and opened it up. But thought it might be a better idea to have two people work on it, so I called mom. She couldn't come then, but could later in the day. So I said I call her in the afternoon. And then I got the laundry and folded it.
I had lunch, and then left to house to go visit someone. Johnnie (of Testicular Tuesdays from the Palace's early days [search for it, you'll find his columns]) had texted me last night. He, his wife and his new daughter were back at his parent's house here in the area, and would be for a few days and asked if I wanted to come visit. Well of COURSE I did! And that's where I went.
I got there and immediately met Lilly, and got to hold her. Johnnie and I and his wife had a nice pleasant visit. His mother-in-law was also with them, but since she only spoke like 4 English words, she and I didn't talk, other to say and wave Hi and Bye. But Lilly herself was just adorable. And after a really nice visit of a little over and hour, I left and came home. Don't know when I'll see them again, as they're moving back to China, Johnnie got a different job there, but I'm really glad I got to see them now.
I came home, and as it was closing in on 330, and I've not heard from the auto parts store, I called mom and asked if she could come in then and went they called, I just go out then. She said sure. So she came in a we started to attempt to put it together and get it ready to go in the window.
And then they called. So out I went. When I got there, Cory, the guy I was dealing is wasn't there, even though he's the one that called me ten minutes before, and the guy who WAS there, handed me the new antenna and said, "Here ya go." Well I looked at it dumbly, cause Cory said he'd help me figure out how to put it on. And yet, Cory wasn't here. So I said, "Okay" and headed out to Belle. I unscrewed what was there and the new one just screwed on and BOOM, I was ready to go. Who knew I was such a great auto mechanic?
I came home and back upstairs where i left mom. She had the new a/c unit assembled and the old unit out of the window. I'm not sure how she herself managed to actually lift that out of the window all by herself. I mean it's not extremely heavy, but she IS 76 years old!
Anyway we got it into the window, turned it on, and DAMN, it started to cool the room down right away! Mom said it was gonna be like a meat locker, if I left it on until I went to bed....which I did. Cause I prefer sleeping in a meat locker than a sauna.
SO after all that, I took mom out to eat to Wendy's. And then we just went home. I was reading on the sofa and then fell asleep for nearly an hour! That was some nap.
So all in a all a busy day of accomplishments.
Oh, and here's pics of me and Lilly!
POLT
My Monday. I got up a bit before 7AM (as I did on Saturday AND Sunday as well...even though I was off all three days and didn't have to get up at ANY specific time). I putzed around on my phone, then got up showered, shaved and threw a load of clothes in the washer.
I went to Rutters for my coffee and breakfast, and ate them while reading the paper. Then after throwing the laundry into the dryer, I headed out for my chores.
I mailed a package at the Post Office. I went to Advance Auto Parts to get a new radio antenna, as my old had...well, fallen off at some point (don't ask) and some new windshield wipers. The guy had the wipers and replaced them for me, but didn't have the antenna in stock, although he could have it by 330. Fine, I paid for all and said I'd come back when they called me it was in.
I washed Belle, it had been a while since she'd been cleaned. And then went to Wal-Mart. The air conditioner in my bedroom hasn't been working that well as of late and since I've had it the entire time I've been in the house (and the previous people left it here, so who knows how old it was), and since last night it didn't really work much at all, I decided to just go buy a new one. And did.
I returned home, and took the a/c up the bedroom and opened it up. But thought it might be a better idea to have two people work on it, so I called mom. She couldn't come then, but could later in the day. So I said I call her in the afternoon. And then I got the laundry and folded it.
I had lunch, and then left to house to go visit someone. Johnnie (of Testicular Tuesdays from the Palace's early days [search for it, you'll find his columns]) had texted me last night. He, his wife and his new daughter were back at his parent's house here in the area, and would be for a few days and asked if I wanted to come visit. Well of COURSE I did! And that's where I went.
I got there and immediately met Lilly, and got to hold her. Johnnie and I and his wife had a nice pleasant visit. His mother-in-law was also with them, but since she only spoke like 4 English words, she and I didn't talk, other to say and wave Hi and Bye. But Lilly herself was just adorable. And after a really nice visit of a little over and hour, I left and came home. Don't know when I'll see them again, as they're moving back to China, Johnnie got a different job there, but I'm really glad I got to see them now.
I came home, and as it was closing in on 330, and I've not heard from the auto parts store, I called mom and asked if she could come in then and went they called, I just go out then. She said sure. So she came in a we started to attempt to put it together and get it ready to go in the window.
And then they called. So out I went. When I got there, Cory, the guy I was dealing is wasn't there, even though he's the one that called me ten minutes before, and the guy who WAS there, handed me the new antenna and said, "Here ya go." Well I looked at it dumbly, cause Cory said he'd help me figure out how to put it on. And yet, Cory wasn't here. So I said, "Okay" and headed out to Belle. I unscrewed what was there and the new one just screwed on and BOOM, I was ready to go. Who knew I was such a great auto mechanic?
I came home and back upstairs where i left mom. She had the new a/c unit assembled and the old unit out of the window. I'm not sure how she herself managed to actually lift that out of the window all by herself. I mean it's not extremely heavy, but she IS 76 years old!
Anyway we got it into the window, turned it on, and DAMN, it started to cool the room down right away! Mom said it was gonna be like a meat locker, if I left it on until I went to bed....which I did. Cause I prefer sleeping in a meat locker than a sauna.
SO after all that, I took mom out to eat to Wendy's. And then we just went home. I was reading on the sofa and then fell asleep for nearly an hour! That was some nap.
So all in a all a busy day of accomplishments.
Oh, and here's pics of me and Lilly!
POLT
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Someone book me a room (Part 333)...
Chapter 11, Page 28...
Saturday, I got up and to work without problems. Again, I was the only one from my department there and I handled everything that came up, which wasn't much. I did get the new clients taken care of and some other paperwork done. And then I came home.
I hung out here for a bit, on the computer, watching TV and reading my book, until my company arrived: Johnnie! YAY! He had texted me on Thanksgiving he was back in the area, and we planned for him to come over this night.
I got to know Johnnie through his uncle, Conrad, that I played D&D with. Conrad's wife, Tanda, also played with us. And about 17 or 18 years ago, when they stopped playing, the had had two girls.
Anyway, Saturday night, Johnnie texted me and asked if he could bring Tanda and the girls along. I really just wanted to spend some time talking with Johnnie, and not with someone I hadn't had contact with in 20 years and two people I didn't really know at all. But what could I say? So I said sure, bring them along. They ate supper and Johnnie's grandmother's and then headed down. I got some food from Rutters and waited for them.
When they got here, we all had a pretty damn good time. They were here for about two hours. Tanda and I caught up on what we had been doing over the last 20 years. I found out from Johnnie all about his future plans.
On December 29th, he's moving to China! He'll be working at the University of Shanghai. He'll be a professor, but he wont be teaching. He'll have his own lab, where he'll be working with and on proteins. He'll have the ability to hire up to 9 people to work with him. And he'll be doing amazing science-y things there (that last part is what I added, not what he said).
It just amazing to me....I can't believe it. I first met Johnnie when he was 15. We got closer when he got his license and a car and could drive down to my apartment to hang out. He came there when he was upset, when he was angry at his family, when he had great news to tell me, or bad news. My apartment was a refuge for him.
Then he want off to college in Bradford PA (and that's how we came to stop there on our way to Toronto...it was originally to visit with Johnnie). And then for a short time, he had his own column here on the Palace called Testicular Tuesdays. And then he graduated and started his grad work in Philadelphia at the University of Pennsylvania (I got to visit him once there, seeing his office and apartment and having an unbelievably delicious sub there). And once he got his Masters there, he stayed there to get his PhD. And after getting his PhD, he moved a few years ago to University Of Chicago where he continued the work he did earlier. He's had several studies published in peer review journals. Apparently, he's known in that particular field (not world reknown, not a super star or anything, but people have at least heard of him).
And now...NOW, he's going to a foreign country, China of all places, will have his OWN lab and people working under him! My GOD! It's mind boggling. I mean, there's NO WAY I would have ever thought he would every be in a position to do something like this.
I'm very proud of him. He said he'll be making a few trips each year back home here, and he said he'll get in touch with me when he does. And he had me download an app onto my phone so we could chat once he gets there, like Facebook messager, so it's not like he'll just disappear overseas.
But still...wow....unbelievable.
Anyway, after they left, I watched a repeat of last week's Doctor Who (since I was watching The Laramie Project when it aired) and then this week's episode. And then I went to bed, read some and then went to sleep.
POLT
Saturday, I got up and to work without problems. Again, I was the only one from my department there and I handled everything that came up, which wasn't much. I did get the new clients taken care of and some other paperwork done. And then I came home.
I hung out here for a bit, on the computer, watching TV and reading my book, until my company arrived: Johnnie! YAY! He had texted me on Thanksgiving he was back in the area, and we planned for him to come over this night.
I got to know Johnnie through his uncle, Conrad, that I played D&D with. Conrad's wife, Tanda, also played with us. And about 17 or 18 years ago, when they stopped playing, the had had two girls.
Anyway, Saturday night, Johnnie texted me and asked if he could bring Tanda and the girls along. I really just wanted to spend some time talking with Johnnie, and not with someone I hadn't had contact with in 20 years and two people I didn't really know at all. But what could I say? So I said sure, bring them along. They ate supper and Johnnie's grandmother's and then headed down. I got some food from Rutters and waited for them.
When they got here, we all had a pretty damn good time. They were here for about two hours. Tanda and I caught up on what we had been doing over the last 20 years. I found out from Johnnie all about his future plans.
On December 29th, he's moving to China! He'll be working at the University of Shanghai. He'll be a professor, but he wont be teaching. He'll have his own lab, where he'll be working with and on proteins. He'll have the ability to hire up to 9 people to work with him. And he'll be doing amazing science-y things there (that last part is what I added, not what he said).
It just amazing to me....I can't believe it. I first met Johnnie when he was 15. We got closer when he got his license and a car and could drive down to my apartment to hang out. He came there when he was upset, when he was angry at his family, when he had great news to tell me, or bad news. My apartment was a refuge for him.
Then he want off to college in Bradford PA (and that's how we came to stop there on our way to Toronto...it was originally to visit with Johnnie). And then for a short time, he had his own column here on the Palace called Testicular Tuesdays. And then he graduated and started his grad work in Philadelphia at the University of Pennsylvania (I got to visit him once there, seeing his office and apartment and having an unbelievably delicious sub there). And once he got his Masters there, he stayed there to get his PhD. And after getting his PhD, he moved a few years ago to University Of Chicago where he continued the work he did earlier. He's had several studies published in peer review journals. Apparently, he's known in that particular field (not world reknown, not a super star or anything, but people have at least heard of him).
And now...NOW, he's going to a foreign country, China of all places, will have his OWN lab and people working under him! My GOD! It's mind boggling. I mean, there's NO WAY I would have ever thought he would every be in a position to do something like this.
I'm very proud of him. He said he'll be making a few trips each year back home here, and he said he'll get in touch with me when he does. And he had me download an app onto my phone so we could chat once he gets there, like Facebook messager, so it's not like he'll just disappear overseas.
But still...wow....unbelievable.
Anyway, after they left, I watched a repeat of last week's Doctor Who (since I was watching The Laramie Project when it aired) and then this week's episode. And then I went to bed, read some and then went to sleep.
POLT
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Bits-N-Pieces
Yesterday, Ghostie came over in the afternoon and we dived into the middle bedroom/library. We took all the boxes out of it, moved the shelves to where I wanted them, and then brought the boxes back in one at a time and unloaded them. We went through at minimum 20 boxes of books, magazines, and graphic novels. But at least everything's up on the shelves. They're not where I want them, the organizing of them is still forthcoming, but at least one can move about the room and see what I have on the shelves.
**************************************
You may or not recall my friend Johnnie. I've known him for 12 years, he used to write the Testicular Tuesdays column here on the Palace (just search for it in the box up in the upper left if you're interested), he's a grad student in Philly pursuing his PhD, and he's just an all around great guy and cool friend.
Anyway, he called me last night and we chatted. He told me this past March he got back into Magic the Gathering, and has apparently become quite good at it. He went to Tampa recently to play in some kinda contest, a Grand Prix, he called it? I don't know, at any rate, he ended up coming in third out of a couple hundred players. That was good enough to win him $1500 and get him an invite to the Nationals in San Diego next year. (Who knew Magic The Gathering even HAD Nationals?) And he's rated 28th in North America.
I've never played the game, but I think this is kinda impressive nonetheless. And there's even an article about him online HERE. (he's looking pretty scruffy in the picture cause he doesn't shave alot now, and rest assured I harrassed him about that pretty mercilessly) Again, this might mean more to me if I played the game, but being ranked 28th in ANYTHING in North America seems a bit noteworthy, no?
******************************************
Oh. My. God! I am SO there!
I mean, hot, shirtless, Asian with a hairthing! How could I NOT be? And this proves Ninjas rule, cause come on, Pirate Assassin would jsut be silly.
POLT Listening to the Falcons - Saints football game
My shellphone isn't working, call me on my clam line. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Yesterday, Ghostie came over in the afternoon and we dived into the middle bedroom/library. We took all the boxes out of it, moved the shelves to where I wanted them, and then brought the boxes back in one at a time and unloaded them. We went through at minimum 20 boxes of books, magazines, and graphic novels. But at least everything's up on the shelves. They're not where I want them, the organizing of them is still forthcoming, but at least one can move about the room and see what I have on the shelves.
**************************************
You may or not recall my friend Johnnie. I've known him for 12 years, he used to write the Testicular Tuesdays column here on the Palace (just search for it in the box up in the upper left if you're interested), he's a grad student in Philly pursuing his PhD, and he's just an all around great guy and cool friend.
Anyway, he called me last night and we chatted. He told me this past March he got back into Magic the Gathering, and has apparently become quite good at it. He went to Tampa recently to play in some kinda contest, a Grand Prix, he called it? I don't know, at any rate, he ended up coming in third out of a couple hundred players. That was good enough to win him $1500 and get him an invite to the Nationals in San Diego next year. (Who knew Magic The Gathering even HAD Nationals?) And he's rated 28th in North America.
I've never played the game, but I think this is kinda impressive nonetheless. And there's even an article about him online HERE. (he's looking pretty scruffy in the picture cause he doesn't shave alot now, and rest assured I harrassed him about that pretty mercilessly) Again, this might mean more to me if I played the game, but being ranked 28th in ANYTHING in North America seems a bit noteworthy, no?
******************************************
Oh. My. God! I am SO there!
I mean, hot, shirtless, Asian with a hairthing! How could I NOT be? And this proves Ninjas rule, cause come on, Pirate Assassin would jsut be silly.
POLT Listening to the Falcons - Saints football game
My shellphone isn't working, call me on my clam line. - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Monday, September 15, 2008
And getting hitched, livin' the fairy tale...
Over the weekend, Mr. Sulu, George Takei, married his longtime partner, Brad Altman.
Nice to see Uhura all decked out at the wedding as well, eh?
Now, I wish someone would explain to me just exactly how these two guys being married is a threat to anyone else's marriage. Come on, I know some of you readers out there are against gay marriage, and if that's your opinion, you're entitled to it. But can you tell me, especially those reader who are against it and married, can you please tell me how this in ANY way endangers YOUR marriage? Please? Anyone?
POLT Listening to "Sex On Wheelz" by Thrill Kill Kult
The moral of the story: don't talk to your gentials, but if you do, don't have them answer. - Johnnie, Testicular Tuesdays
Nice to see Uhura all decked out at the wedding as well, eh?
Now, I wish someone would explain to me just exactly how these two guys being married is a threat to anyone else's marriage. Come on, I know some of you readers out there are against gay marriage, and if that's your opinion, you're entitled to it. But can you tell me, especially those reader who are against it and married, can you please tell me how this in ANY way endangers YOUR marriage? Please? Anyone?
POLT Listening to "Sex On Wheelz" by Thrill Kill Kult
The moral of the story: don't talk to your gentials, but if you do, don't have them answer. - Johnnie, Testicular Tuesdays
Friday, April 27, 2007
I'm betting it's only a matter of time...
This evening, Johnnie (previously of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie) called me and we spoke of numerous things.
One of the Democratic Presidential Debate last night. No, neither of us watched it. I said I wasn't interested because I'm supporting Edwards. Which caused Johnnie to groan. He's been an Obama supporter for months. Johnnie is living in Philadelphia, and he saw Obama speak in person and liked what he had to say. I've been telling Johnnie just as long that Obama is unelectable. There's no way this country is going to elect a black man to president at this point in time. Personally, I'm not opposed to Obama being president, but since I live out here in the country, with the rednecks, and not a progressive, open minded, cultured large city, i think I see how a larger portion of the country feels. And there is a LOT of people around here that will never vote for a black man. And I'm from a BLUE state. I'm not condoning that line of thought, not saying it's right, but I AM saying that's the way it is.
Well, Johnnie wanted to place a bet on the outcome. So this is the result, and I'm recording it here for all eternity so when the event occurs, we've got it recorded now. If Obama is elected President in November 2008, then I will wear a George W. Bush shirt to work for one whole day.
If however, Obama does not with the Democratic nomination, then Johnnie loses the bet and he has to do the following. I have here a t-shirt, a pink one, that reads "I (heart) Polt" [with a heart drawn on it and my real name instead of Polt]. I worked with a guy at Borders who wore it his whole entire last day at the store and then gave it to me afterwards. At any rate, if Obama does not get the Democratic nomination, then the next time Johnnie is back here, he must wear that t-shirt the entire evening he's with me, even while we go out to eat and while we walk around a local mall.
Either way, many many photos will be taken. Personally, I'm thinking what particular places I'd like to show Johnnie off at, perhaps the local gay bar too?
POLT
Money is like a big dick. It's nice if you have it, but the fact that you give me some is not going to make me love you. - Dan Renzi
One of the Democratic Presidential Debate last night. No, neither of us watched it. I said I wasn't interested because I'm supporting Edwards. Which caused Johnnie to groan. He's been an Obama supporter for months. Johnnie is living in Philadelphia, and he saw Obama speak in person and liked what he had to say. I've been telling Johnnie just as long that Obama is unelectable. There's no way this country is going to elect a black man to president at this point in time. Personally, I'm not opposed to Obama being president, but since I live out here in the country, with the rednecks, and not a progressive, open minded, cultured large city, i think I see how a larger portion of the country feels. And there is a LOT of people around here that will never vote for a black man. And I'm from a BLUE state. I'm not condoning that line of thought, not saying it's right, but I AM saying that's the way it is.
Well, Johnnie wanted to place a bet on the outcome. So this is the result, and I'm recording it here for all eternity so when the event occurs, we've got it recorded now. If Obama is elected President in November 2008, then I will wear a George W. Bush shirt to work for one whole day.
If however, Obama does not with the Democratic nomination, then Johnnie loses the bet and he has to do the following. I have here a t-shirt, a pink one, that reads "I (heart) Polt" [with a heart drawn on it and my real name instead of Polt]. I worked with a guy at Borders who wore it his whole entire last day at the store and then gave it to me afterwards. At any rate, if Obama does not get the Democratic nomination, then the next time Johnnie is back here, he must wear that t-shirt the entire evening he's with me, even while we go out to eat and while we walk around a local mall.
Either way, many many photos will be taken. Personally, I'm thinking what particular places I'd like to show Johnnie off at, perhaps the local gay bar too?
POLT
Money is like a big dick. It's nice if you have it, but the fact that you give me some is not going to make me love you. - Dan Renzi
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Do these cultures clash or am i living in the past...
Johnnie, former of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (check the archives for 2005 if you don't know what I'm talking about) , called me tonight and we spoke for a bit. this is part of our conversation:
Johnnie: Hey, Polt, I'm gonna do something even you haven't done!
Polt: And what would that be?
Johnnie: A half-Asian and half-Mexican.
Polt: Wow. Good for you.
Johnnie: You've not had anyone like that have you?
Polt: Well, not that I know of, but I don't really ask my fucks thier geneology. I mean I've been with some mutts in my time. And who knows what I may have had in the back rooms of Toronto, but no, I don't think I have.
Johnnie: We'll be covering most of the world. I cover Europe and she covers South America and Asia! Very cultured!
Polt: You just need to have the two of you and a chick from Africa and you'll get a majority of the world.
Johnnie: Yeah, that'd be cool. Lots of continents.
Polt: OR, you, the Asia-Mexican chick, the black chick, and a penguin! that would give you Antarctica too!
Johnnie: Hey, if that was the only way for it to happen, if it was the deal-breaker, then I guess I'd be down with the penguin. But only a girl penguin, cause a boy penguin would just be gross.
Yeah, we're very progressive, he and I.
POLT
You don't bring a toothy grin to a hostage situation. - Polt's moronic boss, February 17, 2004
Johnnie: Hey, Polt, I'm gonna do something even you haven't done!
Polt: And what would that be?
Johnnie: A half-Asian and half-Mexican.
Polt: Wow. Good for you.
Johnnie: You've not had anyone like that have you?
Polt: Well, not that I know of, but I don't really ask my fucks thier geneology. I mean I've been with some mutts in my time. And who knows what I may have had in the back rooms of Toronto, but no, I don't think I have.
Johnnie: We'll be covering most of the world. I cover Europe and she covers South America and Asia! Very cultured!
Polt: You just need to have the two of you and a chick from Africa and you'll get a majority of the world.
Johnnie: Yeah, that'd be cool. Lots of continents.
Polt: OR, you, the Asia-Mexican chick, the black chick, and a penguin! that would give you Antarctica too!
Johnnie: Hey, if that was the only way for it to happen, if it was the deal-breaker, then I guess I'd be down with the penguin. But only a girl penguin, cause a boy penguin would just be gross.
Yeah, we're very progressive, he and I.
POLT
You don't bring a toothy grin to a hostage situation. - Polt's moronic boss, February 17, 2004
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Leaving, on a jet plane...
Well, no, not really, more like a Chrysler Concorde. But nonetheless, I'll be heading out the door soon for the trip to Toronto. Ag and I will be leaving about noon today, and we'll drive to Bradford PA where we'll spend the night.
Our friend, Johnnie (late of Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie) used to attend college there, so that's why we stopped there originially.
But Johnnie's been in grad school in Philly, and Ag and I still stop there. Mainly for three reasons:
1) It breaks the 9-10 hour drive up and allows us to leave less early, and arrive more refreshed than we otherwise would.
2) Bradford has a restaurant called Beefeaters, that has THE thickest, most delicious steaks you could imagine.
3) Bradford also has a European Pastry shop that serves a homecooked, delicious breakfast that's pretty cheap considering what you get.
Tomorrow, we'll leave Bradford and arrive in Toronto. We'll be there through Tuesday morning, when we leave and arrive back in Bradford to spend the night (and visit Beefeaters and the pastry shop) before returning home. ALthough i don't really want to think about that yet, because that period of time is always depressing, knowing the trip is over and we're on our way home.
I'll still try to post everyday while I'm up there, cause you people mean THAT much to me (and I'm addicted, what can I say). And I've got things planned: catching up with Ed, a guy I met up there last year, again; meeting and having dinner and hanging with a fellow blogger, she and i have been planning this for a while; visiting all the shops along Church st; oh, and sex. Yes, as much sex as I can possibly have and not dehydrate myself.
I wont be able to comment on many of your blogs, like I normally do, maybe I can catch up with you all next week. But nonetheless, I'll try to hit some of the regular blogs i visit.
Have a great weekend everyone, I'll have photos for ya next week!
POLT = listening to "Countdown with Keith Olbermann"
His hair. His hair smells like the beach: salty and musky and wet. It smells so delicious. - Craig, Bumping Heads
Friday, August 04, 2006
Oh Philadelphia freedom shine on me...
So this weekend, Ag and I will going to Philadelphia, which is entirely cool.
I was only there once before, in 1993. We're gonna get a free tour of a cruise ship, and a free meal thereon, and then stay at the Courtyard by Marriott Downtown (or some such named hotel), that Ag got, by using her fantastical magical travel agents powers, for only $49, or something obscenely low, but close, to that rate!
Our friends Johnnie (who longtime readers will remember form his Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie columns), is going to grad school there, so we'll get to see him, and his place, and hang out with him, which will be incredibly cool, as we don't do that anywhere NEAR enough anymore!
And we'll get to hang out in Philly, which I didn't get to do that last time. And the heat broke, it's only like 87 or so, and much less humid right now, and its supposed to be even better tomorrow, so that's cool.
The downside is, we need to be in Harrisburg to catch the train at 700 am! which means I'll probably have to get up at 400am! ARGH! BUT, it'll be my first time on a train, so that'll be a new experience!
So, I won't be posting here on Saturday at all (unless i find a terminal somewhere there in my travels) and I won't be posting on SUnday until late. So if you don't see anything, don't worry, Uncle Polt's just fine.
POLT = listening to "Another Night" by Real McCoy
In every class there's at least one guy who's so good looking it hurts. - Kevin Doyle, The Year Of Ice
I was only there once before, in 1993. We're gonna get a free tour of a cruise ship, and a free meal thereon, and then stay at the Courtyard by Marriott Downtown (or some such named hotel), that Ag got, by using her fantastical magical travel agents powers, for only $49, or something obscenely low, but close, to that rate!
Our friends Johnnie (who longtime readers will remember form his Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie columns), is going to grad school there, so we'll get to see him, and his place, and hang out with him, which will be incredibly cool, as we don't do that anywhere NEAR enough anymore!
And we'll get to hang out in Philly, which I didn't get to do that last time. And the heat broke, it's only like 87 or so, and much less humid right now, and its supposed to be even better tomorrow, so that's cool.
The downside is, we need to be in Harrisburg to catch the train at 700 am! which means I'll probably have to get up at 400am! ARGH! BUT, it'll be my first time on a train, so that'll be a new experience!
So, I won't be posting here on Saturday at all (unless i find a terminal somewhere there in my travels) and I won't be posting on SUnday until late. So if you don't see anything, don't worry, Uncle Polt's just fine.
POLT = listening to "Another Night" by Real McCoy
In every class there's at least one guy who's so good looking it hurts. - Kevin Doyle, The Year Of Ice
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Oops, I did it again...
Okay, I got two big oopsies I need to mention...
1) Yes, Amie, I DID miss the first episode of Project Runway, and this after hounding you to watch it. OOPS. Yes, I already said I was a big fat loser. What more can i do? But I mean, c'mon, you understand, I mean i was entertaining a very attractive 26 year old AND a very attractive 18 year old. You expect me to be thinking about TV in GENERAL, much less Project Runway specifically???
-AND-
2) This past Thursday, July 17th, was Johnnie's birthday, his 24th to be exact. This is the Johnnie of the late, lamented Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (for those longtime readers).
And naturally I forgot (hey, entertaining, very attractive, 26 & 18 year olds, remember???). A card is forthcoming, and it shouldn't surprise him that he gets it late, cause everyone that knows me KNOWS you'll get a birthday/annivesary card, but rarely if EVER on time.
I don't know if Johnnie still dropping by here or not anymore, but let's all wish him a happy belated birthday as well, just in case he is.
POLT = listening to "You Blew Me Off" by Bare Jr.
The next time someone asks you, "Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?" tell them, "Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview, then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them." - Karen Williams
1) Yes, Amie, I DID miss the first episode of Project Runway, and this after hounding you to watch it. OOPS. Yes, I already said I was a big fat loser. What more can i do? But I mean, c'mon, you understand, I mean i was entertaining a very attractive 26 year old AND a very attractive 18 year old. You expect me to be thinking about TV in GENERAL, much less Project Runway specifically???
-AND-
2) This past Thursday, July 17th, was Johnnie's birthday, his 24th to be exact. This is the Johnnie of the late, lamented Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie (for those longtime readers).
And naturally I forgot (hey, entertaining, very attractive, 26 & 18 year olds, remember???). A card is forthcoming, and it shouldn't surprise him that he gets it late, cause everyone that knows me KNOWS you'll get a birthday/annivesary card, but rarely if EVER on time.
I don't know if Johnnie still dropping by here or not anymore, but let's all wish him a happy belated birthday as well, just in case he is.
POLT = listening to "You Blew Me Off" by Bare Jr.
The next time someone asks you, "Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?" tell them, "Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview, then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them." - Karen Williams
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Save what's left, for the deaf...
Tone Deaf Tuesdays
Well, kids, Testicular Tuesdays with Johnnie has been a little....intermittant, may we say? I will surely post any here that he sends me, but he's been busy, what with the semester ending at grad school and being rejected by chicks and stuff. But i wanted to have another regular feature (got one for every day but Saturday) on Tuesdays, just in case something comes up with him that he can't get me one (which is shameful, i mean it's not like i ask a lot from him. I slave day after day over a hot computer to put this together, and all I ask is one hting a week! [ok, i'll quit the guilt trip now]).
I think what I'm going do in this is detail a memory I have of a particular song. I don't know how interesting it will be (but then, how interesting is Frenchin Fridays or Superhero Sundays, eh?), but I've been thinking a lot lately about memory and songs, so i'll put it all down here.
I think this song is their best, even though most people like Stairway To Heaven better. At any rate, the memory I always associate with this song and think of every time I hear it is as follows:
18 years ago, I delivered pizzas for Domino's Pizza. After we'd close the store down at 100am (or 200 on weekends) we clean up and then a lot of the times, a group of us would head over to the manager's apartment. There, we'd sit around, talk, bitch, drink, watch Nick At Nite, some of us smoked things other than cigarettes (although not yours truly...I had that experience in college and was over an done with it by then) and just generally had a good time. usually, we'd hang around there until about 800 or 900 am, getting all trashed and then head home for a few hours of sleep, before reporting back for work, sometimes at 1100 am, sometimes not til 400pm. (amazingly, only ONCE was I too hung over to report for work the next day. And I worked there about a year and participated in the above mentioned scenario countless times. Ah, youth!)
So anyway, I remember one occasion, when I had had...well, way too much to drink, and was pretty much on the verge between feeling really good, and being totally out of it. WIlliam the manager had his stereo playing in one of the rooms and had these two floor speakers. They were just boxes, not real huge or anything. Well, I don't even remember how or why I ended up this way, but I distinctly remember laying on the floor in front of the stereo, both of the speakers pulled out on plaed on either side of my head, just inches from my shoulders, with Kashmir playing out of them. And every time the song ended, I'd reach up and hit the button to make it replay. God only knows how long I did this. Coulda been minutes, coulda been hours. I remember singing along sometimes, even the howls, and moans and screams. I remember some people singing along with me at one point.
Well, kids, Testicular Tuesdays with Johnnie has been a little....intermittant, may we say? I will surely post any here that he sends me, but he's been busy, what with the semester ending at grad school and being rejected by chicks and stuff. But i wanted to have another regular feature (got one for every day but Saturday) on Tuesdays, just in case something comes up with him that he can't get me one (which is shameful, i mean it's not like i ask a lot from him. I slave day after day over a hot computer to put this together, and all I ask is one hting a week! [ok, i'll quit the guilt trip now]).
I think what I'm going do in this is detail a memory I have of a particular song. I don't know how interesting it will be (but then, how interesting is Frenchin Fridays or Superhero Sundays, eh?), but I've been thinking a lot lately about memory and songs, so i'll put it all down here.
"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin
I think this song is their best, even though most people like Stairway To Heaven better. At any rate, the memory I always associate with this song and think of every time I hear it is as follows:
18 years ago, I delivered pizzas for Domino's Pizza. After we'd close the store down at 100am (or 200 on weekends) we clean up and then a lot of the times, a group of us would head over to the manager's apartment. There, we'd sit around, talk, bitch, drink, watch Nick At Nite, some of us smoked things other than cigarettes (although not yours truly...I had that experience in college and was over an done with it by then) and just generally had a good time. usually, we'd hang around there until about 800 or 900 am, getting all trashed and then head home for a few hours of sleep, before reporting back for work, sometimes at 1100 am, sometimes not til 400pm. (amazingly, only ONCE was I too hung over to report for work the next day. And I worked there about a year and participated in the above mentioned scenario countless times. Ah, youth!)
So anyway, I remember one occasion, when I had had...well, way too much to drink, and was pretty much on the verge between feeling really good, and being totally out of it. WIlliam the manager had his stereo playing in one of the rooms and had these two floor speakers. They were just boxes, not real huge or anything. Well, I don't even remember how or why I ended up this way, but I distinctly remember laying on the floor in front of the stereo, both of the speakers pulled out on plaed on either side of my head, just inches from my shoulders, with Kashmir playing out of them. And every time the song ended, I'd reach up and hit the button to make it replay. God only knows how long I did this. Coulda been minutes, coulda been hours. I remember singing along sometimes, even the howls, and moans and screams. I remember some people singing along with me at one point.
hey, I didn't say these would be really cool, fantastic memories, that would keep you on the edge of your seats or nothing, ya know? They're just memories I have.
And, I guess if anyone else has any memories like this of any song I mention, send it to me in a comment. I'd love to hear about others.
POLT = listening to "Long Time" by Boston
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I ain't missing you at all..
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
(See, this place here is where I would have put Johnnie's Testicular Tuesday column....if I had recieved one. And this, even after we spoke just last night and he said he was gonna get me a column this week. I waited until 1000pm, I thought that long enough. *SIGH* oh well, I guess he's forgotten about us all, gentle readers. I'll keep the title up, perhaps as a memorial to the glory that once was, and God willing, may be again.)
POLT = listening to "Warning" by Green Day
I thought you'd be out painting the town red...or whatever color they're painting it now. - Lindsey, Queer As Folk
(See, this place here is where I would have put Johnnie's Testicular Tuesday column....if I had recieved one. And this, even after we spoke just last night and he said he was gonna get me a column this week. I waited until 1000pm, I thought that long enough. *SIGH* oh well, I guess he's forgotten about us all, gentle readers. I'll keep the title up, perhaps as a memorial to the glory that once was, and God willing, may be again.)
POLT = listening to "Warning" by Green Day
I thought you'd be out painting the town red...or whatever color they're painting it now. - Lindsey, Queer As Folk
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Let's see how we sound, it's all green to me...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
St Patrick's day is just a few days away and I haven't even figured out which bars I'll start my lunch at yet. Philly must have at least 50 Irish bars and I don't even know where a good drink special can be found. On top of that, several of my normal drinking buddies are gonna be out of town this weekend. I have such a bad feeling about this oh so holy of holidays. If I don't have people to look out for me, I'll be shit faced by 8pm and drunkenly hitting on random females. (How is that different from any other weekend? - Polt) I don't mind having a few regrets after a hard St. Patty's day, but I at least need people to remember it for me. This is kind of a short post but I know I'm obligated to say something about male reproductive organs, so here goes: Normally my drunken evenings end with some blue balls, but this Friday they could end up green. (planning on running into a gay leprechaun with a bucket of green paint, are ye laddie? - Polt) Happy St. Patrick's day.
Remember, if you're wearing a kilt and beads and drinking green beer, you're not Irish, you're stupid. (or at a Gay Pride celebration! - Polt)
POLT = listening to "So Alive" by Love & Rockets
We don't have to like each other, Jo, we're family. - Claudia, Home For The Holidays
St Patrick's day is just a few days away and I haven't even figured out which bars I'll start my lunch at yet. Philly must have at least 50 Irish bars and I don't even know where a good drink special can be found. On top of that, several of my normal drinking buddies are gonna be out of town this weekend. I have such a bad feeling about this oh so holy of holidays. If I don't have people to look out for me, I'll be shit faced by 8pm and drunkenly hitting on random females. (How is that different from any other weekend? - Polt) I don't mind having a few regrets after a hard St. Patty's day, but I at least need people to remember it for me. This is kind of a short post but I know I'm obligated to say something about male reproductive organs, so here goes: Normally my drunken evenings end with some blue balls, but this Friday they could end up green. (planning on running into a gay leprechaun with a bucket of green paint, are ye laddie? - Polt) Happy St. Patrick's day.
Remember, if you're wearing a kilt and beads and drinking green beer, you're not Irish, you're stupid. (or at a Gay Pride celebration! - Polt)
POLT = listening to "So Alive" by Love & Rockets
We don't have to like each other, Jo, we're family. - Claudia, Home For The Holidays
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Through the window came a plaintive funeral hymn...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
This Tuesday I will be presenting my much coveted "Balls of the Week Award" (not given every week, we'll try to get the columns in eachweek before we try that). (ooooo, Balls Of The Week Award.....I could add that to the Palace, I've got plenty of photos. I'm just saying... - Polt) This week the award goes to Fred Phelps. Phelps is a conservative, gospel preacher who feels "You can't preach the Bible without preaching the hatred of God." He's been taking his congregation around protesting over 100 funerals of soldiers. The reason they feel it's important for them to do this is because the military is representing a country that "accepts homosexuality." These aren't even gay soldiers. Not that that would make it ok, but it would at least make some fraction of sense. They carry signs around saying things such as "Thank God for IEDs." For those of you that don't know, those are the roadside bombs that have killed so many soldiers in Iraq.
Some how Phelps has managed to not get him and his congregation killed. Now that takes balls. In case you're wondering who would follow this lunatic around, it's mostly his family. He's got 13 kids, 54 grandkids and 7 great grand children. So the bad news is they're reproducing, but the good news is they stay in one location, so that's fairly easy to fix (perhaps the whole freaking bunch of them should be personally introduced to an IED! - Polt) . Several states are discussing banning protests at funerals now. I don't think that's a bad idea. Whatever message you want to send, I think it can wait until the mourners are finished. I'm a fan of free speech, but there's limits. So enjoy your award, Mr. Phelps, hopefully those big balls make great targets.
(A bit ago, I asked Johnnie if he wanted me to keep using the photo I had been or if there was another one he wanted me to use. The above photo is what he sent me. Any questions, comments or statements may be made to Johnnie throught the comment section of this post. - Polt)
POLT = listening to "High And Dry" by Radiohead
Come the millennium, in the month 12, in the home of the greatest power, the village idiot will come forth, to be acclaimed leader. - Nostradamus, 1555
This Tuesday I will be presenting my much coveted "Balls of the Week Award" (not given every week, we'll try to get the columns in eachweek before we try that). (ooooo, Balls Of The Week Award.....I could add that to the Palace, I've got plenty of photos. I'm just saying... - Polt) This week the award goes to Fred Phelps. Phelps is a conservative, gospel preacher who feels "You can't preach the Bible without preaching the hatred of God." He's been taking his congregation around protesting over 100 funerals of soldiers. The reason they feel it's important for them to do this is because the military is representing a country that "accepts homosexuality." These aren't even gay soldiers. Not that that would make it ok, but it would at least make some fraction of sense. They carry signs around saying things such as "Thank God for IEDs." For those of you that don't know, those are the roadside bombs that have killed so many soldiers in Iraq.
Some how Phelps has managed to not get him and his congregation killed. Now that takes balls. In case you're wondering who would follow this lunatic around, it's mostly his family. He's got 13 kids, 54 grandkids and 7 great grand children. So the bad news is they're reproducing, but the good news is they stay in one location, so that's fairly easy to fix (perhaps the whole freaking bunch of them should be personally introduced to an IED! - Polt) . Several states are discussing banning protests at funerals now. I don't think that's a bad idea. Whatever message you want to send, I think it can wait until the mourners are finished. I'm a fan of free speech, but there's limits. So enjoy your award, Mr. Phelps, hopefully those big balls make great targets.
(A bit ago, I asked Johnnie if he wanted me to keep using the photo I had been or if there was another one he wanted me to use. The above photo is what he sent me. Any questions, comments or statements may be made to Johnnie throught the comment section of this post. - Polt)
POLT = listening to "High And Dry" by Radiohead
Come the millennium, in the month 12, in the home of the greatest power, the village idiot will come forth, to be acclaimed leader. - Nostradamus, 1555
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Different Germany, afraid to know you now...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
Ahhh, another testisticular tuesday. Time for a little bit of straightness for this oh-so-crooked blog. So Sunday I was sitting around bored as hell trying to think of something to do. Finally I decided I was going to try out a new bar a friend recommended. I called up my good ex M and invited her to come along. This place was freakin awesome. It's called Ludwig's Garten: http://www.ludwigsgarten.com/. I had heard it was the best German bar in Philly and I wasn't disappointed. They had over a dozen imported drafts, nice solid wooden tables, and waitresses dressed in very lovely German attire. The food was just like that back in Southern PA, which means it was German and fucking sucks, but I saw they served rabbit and pheasant, so I'm going back to have that. Best yet were the prices. From 10-12 they had drafts for $2.95! I was in heaven. I drank so much I didn't even mind watching the Olympics! Ok, I did mind, since it was ice dancing. But I didn't mind quite so much. This place really got my blood pumping. It was like it brought my German heritage out for a bar brawl. Real testicular stuff. I felt like beating up a Polish guy and invading France. The down side: no hot chicks other than the waitresses. I guess that's the problem with really manly bars, women don't want to be there. Next time I'll have to try to bring some along so they can witness some good drunken machismo and tell me what an ass I was being. There's no point in being a drunken ass if no one is there to remember it for you. Speaking of which, I know I talked to a female friend of mine afterwards, but I didn't remember the conversation at all. That's why I must ask a favor of all readers out there in the internet world. If you got a call from a drunken me after midnight on Sunday, please let me know. I don't think I called anyone, but I didn't think that on my birthday either and we all know how that one turned out (see previous post). Have a nice testicular tuesday everyone!
POLT = listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin
Love, love, love! Doesn't anyone fuck anymore? - T-shirt
Ahhh, another testisticular tuesday. Time for a little bit of straightness for this oh-so-crooked blog. So Sunday I was sitting around bored as hell trying to think of something to do. Finally I decided I was going to try out a new bar a friend recommended. I called up my good ex M and invited her to come along. This place was freakin awesome. It's called Ludwig's Garten: http://www.ludwigsgarten.com/. I had heard it was the best German bar in Philly and I wasn't disappointed. They had over a dozen imported drafts, nice solid wooden tables, and waitresses dressed in very lovely German attire. The food was just like that back in Southern PA, which means it was German and fucking sucks, but I saw they served rabbit and pheasant, so I'm going back to have that. Best yet were the prices. From 10-12 they had drafts for $2.95! I was in heaven. I drank so much I didn't even mind watching the Olympics! Ok, I did mind, since it was ice dancing. But I didn't mind quite so much. This place really got my blood pumping. It was like it brought my German heritage out for a bar brawl. Real testicular stuff. I felt like beating up a Polish guy and invading France. The down side: no hot chicks other than the waitresses. I guess that's the problem with really manly bars, women don't want to be there. Next time I'll have to try to bring some along so they can witness some good drunken machismo and tell me what an ass I was being. There's no point in being a drunken ass if no one is there to remember it for you. Speaking of which, I know I talked to a female friend of mine afterwards, but I didn't remember the conversation at all. That's why I must ask a favor of all readers out there in the internet world. If you got a call from a drunken me after midnight on Sunday, please let me know. I don't think I called anyone, but I didn't think that on my birthday either and we all know how that one turned out (see previous post). Have a nice testicular tuesday everyone!
POLT = listening to "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin
Love, love, love! Doesn't anyone fuck anymore? - T-shirt
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Touched by the hot hands of bitter fools...
Testicular Tuesdays (on Thursday) With Johnnie
(with comments from Polt interspersed as necessary)
Welcome to the very special VD edition of Testicular Tuesdays. I know it's a little late, but fortunately I don't care. Originally I had an accidental date for VD (Un-huh, yep I KNEW it!). However, this was postponed until the next day, since my date was feeling under the weather. So, today I was supposed to take the lovely young lady out for a sushi dinner and some pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, the date was cancelled. That wouldn't have been a very big deal had she informed me that the date was cancelled. As it were, she didn't call me as she said she would and didn't pick up when I called her. So, barring a call telling me how she had to go to the emergency room and was in a 24 hr coma, etc, I'm going to stay bitter for the forseeable future(go ahead, you're entitled!). So in the course of about 4 weeks that makes 3 very poor endings with the indian freshman, the psychiatrist, and now dreadlocks girl (Here and forever after refered to as Delhi, Doctor, and Dreads, the Three Dopes!) . That's it, I'm done. No more females for me (Ah...come to the Dark Side, Johnnie...). If I decide to reproduce, I'm gonna clone myself. So what does all this have to do with balls? Very simple: the lesson of this VD is to love your genitals (as often as possible, I'd add) . They've been there for you through thick and thin when no one else was (I prefer thick, but I digress...) . They know just the way to make you happy. So this VD, take care of your testicles. (Good advice, John. Very good advice!)
POLT = listening to "Mouth" by Bush
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, Animal Farm
(with comments from Polt interspersed as necessary)Welcome to the very special VD edition of Testicular Tuesdays. I know it's a little late, but fortunately I don't care. Originally I had an accidental date for VD (Un-huh, yep I KNEW it!). However, this was postponed until the next day, since my date was feeling under the weather. So, today I was supposed to take the lovely young lady out for a sushi dinner and some pleasant conversation. Unfortunately, the date was cancelled. That wouldn't have been a very big deal had she informed me that the date was cancelled. As it were, she didn't call me as she said she would and didn't pick up when I called her. So, barring a call telling me how she had to go to the emergency room and was in a 24 hr coma, etc, I'm going to stay bitter for the forseeable future(go ahead, you're entitled!). So in the course of about 4 weeks that makes 3 very poor endings with the indian freshman, the psychiatrist, and now dreadlocks girl (Here and forever after refered to as Delhi, Doctor, and Dreads, the Three Dopes!) . That's it, I'm done. No more females for me (Ah...come to the Dark Side, Johnnie...). If I decide to reproduce, I'm gonna clone myself. So what does all this have to do with balls? Very simple: the lesson of this VD is to love your genitals (as often as possible, I'd add) . They've been there for you through thick and thin when no one else was (I prefer thick, but I digress...) . They know just the way to make you happy. So this VD, take care of your testicles. (Good advice, John. Very good advice!)
POLT = listening to "Mouth" by Bush
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, Animal Farm
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Peace, homegirls, but I'm an Audi 5000...
Today, I had my 5000 th visits. Wow. Thanks to you all. I'm truly honored. I remember when I started this thing back in June and it took me WEEKS to get to my first 100 visits. At that point I thought I'd never see 500, much less 5000!
To all the repeat visitors, thanks for coming back guys. I'll try to keep putting things up here that interest you so you want to keep returning. If you have any changes or suggestions for improvement, or anything you want to see more of, let me know, I'll try to accommodate. (and NO, I will NOT do away with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guys, Testicular Tuesdays or Frenching Friday, so don't even think of suggesting it...and you KNOW who you are!)
POLT = listening to "Square Pegs" by The Waitresses
We're a milloin miles from earth in a giant white face...what's impossible? - Mission To Mars
To all the repeat visitors, thanks for coming back guys. I'll try to keep putting things up here that interest you so you want to keep returning. If you have any changes or suggestions for improvement, or anything you want to see more of, let me know, I'll try to accommodate. (and NO, I will NOT do away with Monday's Hot Shirtless Guys, Testicular Tuesdays or Frenching Friday, so don't even think of suggesting it...and you KNOW who you are!)
POLT = listening to "Square Pegs" by The Waitresses
We're a milloin miles from earth in a giant white face...what's impossible? - Mission To Mars
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Looking straight at you but talking to myself...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
Last week I had one of the most disturbing bathroom experiences of my life. I walked into the bathroom at work and started using one of the urinals. As I'm waiting for Little John to finish up, another guy walks into the bathroom and starts using the urinal at the other end. This was fine, until he started talking to his penis. Even that wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't started having it answer back to him. He was making sounds like "wheee" in a high pitched voice when he started. Then he would say something like "how you doing, little guy" to which he would reply in his penis-impersination-voice "pretty good." I almost started talking to my penis, but it would have been me yelling "hurry up, god damn it, we've got to get out of here!" You know, if I was in some public bathroom some place, I would have just chalked it up to being some crazy bastard. But no, this happened in the bathroom about 20 yards from my lab. You need security clearance to get into my building. Who gave this guy security clearance? We have volitile chemicals, radioactive substances, test animals, and contagious diseases. How do you get clearance when you talk to your penis in public?! The moral of this story: don't talk to your genitals, but if you do, don't have them answer.
POLT = listening to "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
The body is meant to be seen, not covered up. - Marilyn Monroe
Last week I had one of the most disturbing bathroom experiences of my life. I walked into the bathroom at work and started using one of the urinals. As I'm waiting for Little John to finish up, another guy walks into the bathroom and starts using the urinal at the other end. This was fine, until he started talking to his penis. Even that wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't started having it answer back to him. He was making sounds like "wheee" in a high pitched voice when he started. Then he would say something like "how you doing, little guy" to which he would reply in his penis-impersination-voice "pretty good." I almost started talking to my penis, but it would have been me yelling "hurry up, god damn it, we've got to get out of here!" You know, if I was in some public bathroom some place, I would have just chalked it up to being some crazy bastard. But no, this happened in the bathroom about 20 yards from my lab. You need security clearance to get into my building. Who gave this guy security clearance? We have volitile chemicals, radioactive substances, test animals, and contagious diseases. How do you get clearance when you talk to your penis in public?! The moral of this story: don't talk to your genitals, but if you do, don't have them answer.
POLT = listening to "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
The body is meant to be seen, not covered up. - Marilyn Monroe
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
When its over, when the dogfight is over...
Testicular Tuesdays With Johnnie
So, this Tuesday I will return to my favorite subject: the massive size of my very own balls. I now bring you attention to exhibit 3,247. So last Thursday it was dark and a bit cold when I got back from work. I've been neglecting going to the dog park lately, but I had a great feeling about going that day. If you read last week's column, you know that I got blown off by a hot indian, so I figured it was time to jump back on that horse. I hung out at the park for a bit, but didn't see any cuties. Just as I was about to leave I saw a female coming down the edge of the bowl with her dog. Like I said, it was dark, so I waited around until she got close enough to see her. She looked a little old for me (prob mid 30s, i cut it off at a decade since my mom is 40 and it would freak me out to date some1 only a few yrs younger than her). Montana started playing with her pitt bull mix, though, so I stuck around to let him wear himself out. He soon found a stick he liked better than the other dog and got really possessive. He kept growling when the other dog would get near and eventually flipped out. They lunged at each other and started fighting. At this point I lept in the middle and grabbed Montana by the scruff of the neck. I had the adreline pumping a little bit, so I managed to pick most of him up by the back of the neck and pin him to the ground. While I was getting him under control, though, the pit mix clamped down on my other arm, which hurt a little bit. I knew if I let Motana up, I'd have 90+ lbs of pissed off golden avenging his daddy's arm, so I had to wait a few seconds while the pit's owner pulled him off. You'd be amazed how long a few seconds lasts when you have pit bull attached to your arm. Luckily, I had a heavy leather jacket on with a thick sweat shirt on underneath. He did manage to pierce the skin from the pressure, but he didn't manage to get through the leather. Anyway, the point of the story is that I have single handedly took on too dogs at once and came away only mildy wounded *HURRRAHHH*(that's to be a manly sound of some sort, the kind that make you sound really constipated). Alright, that's your story for the week. Now I'm off to get as many abortions as I can before our latest justice makes them illegal. It's not gonna be so bad, though. I just bought a whole box load of hangers and I'm thinking of opening my own side-alley buisiness. Wish me luck.
POLT = listening to...nothing really..silence in the room before i go to bed.
I gave you the best...minutes of my life! - Emmett, Queer As Folk
So, this Tuesday I will return to my favorite subject: the massive size of my very own balls. I now bring you attention to exhibit 3,247. So last Thursday it was dark and a bit cold when I got back from work. I've been neglecting going to the dog park lately, but I had a great feeling about going that day. If you read last week's column, you know that I got blown off by a hot indian, so I figured it was time to jump back on that horse. I hung out at the park for a bit, but didn't see any cuties. Just as I was about to leave I saw a female coming down the edge of the bowl with her dog. Like I said, it was dark, so I waited around until she got close enough to see her. She looked a little old for me (prob mid 30s, i cut it off at a decade since my mom is 40 and it would freak me out to date some1 only a few yrs younger than her). Montana started playing with her pitt bull mix, though, so I stuck around to let him wear himself out. He soon found a stick he liked better than the other dog and got really possessive. He kept growling when the other dog would get near and eventually flipped out. They lunged at each other and started fighting. At this point I lept in the middle and grabbed Montana by the scruff of the neck. I had the adreline pumping a little bit, so I managed to pick most of him up by the back of the neck and pin him to the ground. While I was getting him under control, though, the pit mix clamped down on my other arm, which hurt a little bit. I knew if I let Motana up, I'd have 90+ lbs of pissed off golden avenging his daddy's arm, so I had to wait a few seconds while the pit's owner pulled him off. You'd be amazed how long a few seconds lasts when you have pit bull attached to your arm. Luckily, I had a heavy leather jacket on with a thick sweat shirt on underneath. He did manage to pierce the skin from the pressure, but he didn't manage to get through the leather. Anyway, the point of the story is that I have single handedly took on too dogs at once and came away only mildy wounded *HURRRAHHH*(that's to be a manly sound of some sort, the kind that make you sound really constipated). Alright, that's your story for the week. Now I'm off to get as many abortions as I can before our latest justice makes them illegal. It's not gonna be so bad, though. I just bought a whole box load of hangers and I'm thinking of opening my own side-alley buisiness. Wish me luck.
POLT = listening to...nothing really..silence in the room before i go to bed.
I gave you the best...minutes of my life! - Emmett, Queer As Folk
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