Last week I had one of the most disturbing bathroom experiences of my life. I walked into the bathroom at work and started using one of the urinals. As I'm waiting for Little John to finish up, another guy walks into the bathroom and starts using the urinal at the other end. This was fine, until he started talking to his penis. Even that wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't started having it answer back to him. He was making sounds like "wheee" in a high pitched voice when he started. Then he would say something like "how you doing, little guy" to which he would reply in his penis-impersination-voice "pretty good." I almost started talking to my penis, but it would have been me yelling "hurry up, god damn it, we've got to get out of here!" You know, if I was in some public bathroom some place, I would have just chalked it up to being some crazy bastard. But no, this happened in the bathroom about 20 yards from my lab. You need security clearance to get into my building. Who gave this guy security clearance? We have volitile chemicals, radioactive substances, test animals, and contagious diseases. How do you get clearance when you talk to your penis in public?! The moral of this story: don't talk to your genitals, but if you do, don't have them answer.
POLT = listening to "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
The body is meant to be seen, not covered up. - Marilyn Monroe
No comments:
Post a Comment