Market an elixir that will eliminate the common cold...

Freddie came down this weekend, as you know. I had a cold, which you may have known. It's an unusual situation when you've got a head cold and your boyfriend around at the same time. So I give you:

Top 10 Reasons Why It's Weird Having A Cold When Your Boyfriend Is Around.

1) Kissing your boyfriend passionately, needing to breathe through your nose to do so, and
while doing both the kiss and the breathing, you make that weird whistling sound
because of your congestion.
2) The cold meds make you constipated, because having a cold in your head by itself just
isn’t as much fun as having it with a pain in your ass too.
3) Blowing your nose and blasting snot into the Kleenex while your boyfirend gets to sit
there and listen.
4) Cuddling in bed with your boyfriend and trying to be romantic, but having to make the
‘snot sucking’ sniffling sounds to keep the phlegm from running out your nose.
5) A coughing fit in the middle of the night while your boyfriend tries to sleep next to you.
6) Having a headache for real, and thus not being as interested in sex as much as your
boyfirend is.
7) Dirty used Kleenex filling three trashcans to overflowing, adding much needed
improvements to your apartment’s décor.
8) Trying to say "I Love You" with head congestion and a sore throat so that it comes out
something like "I Lub Do"
9) Oral sex plus nasal congestion could possible lead to suffocation. At the very least, it
hampers your ability to adequately perform.
10) Passing the cold onto your boyfriend. (Hey, I warned him. He knew what he was in for).

POLT

Hi, Bart! My nose makes its own bubblegum! - Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons