The unknown monster is about to embark...

When I moved into the apartment ten years ago, Sprint was my local carrier. They remained so until late last summer when they became Embarq...wherever the hell they got that name from. I got a cable modem the end of October and canceled my home phone, as I didn't need it, since I use my cellphone for all my calls anyway. I paid the last Embarq bill I had here and figured that would be the end of it.

Mid-November, I got another bill from Embarq. It told me that there was some part of the bill I had outstanding, a late fee or part of the cancelation fee or some part of the bill that wasn't included in the final I paid, I don't have any idea what it was. The outstanding part of the bill was for 34 cents.

Thirty. Four. Freakin. Cents.

I thought there is no way I'm paying that. The psotage itself is gonna cost more than what I'll owe, not to mention the fact I'll be wasting a check. And c'mon, 34 cents, how petty is that? So i threw the bill away.

In December, January and now February as well, they've sent me bills as well, informing me that I still owe 34 cents. They've now sent me 4 notices total to this effect. That's $1.36 postage. Now, I've been told they pay a lesser rate for things like that, I don't know, but I feel certain they've so far paid a LOT more than 34 cents to get this from me. And that doesn't include the four envelopes, four returns envelopes, eight sheets of paper, ink to print stuff on both sides of those eight pages, and someone, somewhere, is being paid to...I don't know, handle this somehow. i understand mostthings are done by computer, but somewhere, there's gotta be someone who's being paid money to waste thier time trying to get this 34 cents from me.

Thirty. Four. Freakin. Cents.

I am not paying it. Screw 'em. This has entered the realm of sheer absurdity now. I will not pay. Let 'em send it to a collection agency, I'll still not pay. Let that collection agency garnish my wages, they're welcome to do so for 34 cents. Let 'em take me to court, or whatever they do to get this princely sum outta me.

They'll have that quarter, nickel, and four pennies when they pry them from my cold dead hands. I'm 7/8ths German, and if we of German hertiage are one thing, it's stubborn! And I have put my foot down! I will NOT pay them this idiotic fee. Now I just want to see how many more notices I get, or how far they want to take this.

Thirty. Four. Freakin. Cents.

Insanity.

POLT

"Now he'll sing from his musical bum." "No, no, no! It's music album!" - Benny Hill