Monday, October 09, 2006

And she cruised through the hamburger stand-now...

I know no one wants to admit it, but it HAS to be said. Oh, I've tried not to say anything. I've bitten my tongue so long and hard I've got blood. I've just tried to be polite and not point out the obvious. But I can contain myself no longer.

Cruise control is the tool of the devil!

There, now that I've said it I feel much better. I myself haven't used cruise control since Reagan was president. I've hated it always. What it does, is when people put it on, they no longer pay attention. It's like click on cruise control, click off common sense and paying attention.

When there's cruise control on, people HATE to take it off, so if they come up on someone slower in front of them, they'll wait until their car is inside the trunk of the other car before they bother to brake. Or if they do brake and then pass the car, when they reestablish cruise control, they do it in a huff, as if it's some great personal affront to them to have to go off thier cruise control.

Also, God forbid, someone's in the fast lane with the cruise control on, cause if they are, it's usually set to the exact speed limit, 65 mph or so, causing a vertiable parade of cars behind them to pile up, waiting for the opportunity to pass on the right. After all, they DO own the road, and if they WANT to go just the speed limit in the fast lane, then everyone else should too, and by setting the cruise control to the speed limit, they can ensure everyone behind them is doing so.

And when someone has cruise control set and they no longer have to pay attention to braking or accelrating to maintain speed, that's frees them up for a multitude of other actions: eating, talking on the cellphone, talking to other people in the car, putting on makeup, unfolding and reading a map, reading a book, sleeping, the possibilites are endless! Course when something unexpected happens just right in front of them, they not paying attention to it, and take longer to respond, if at all. But that's not thier fault, oh NO, that would be the fault of whomever caused the unexpected thing ahead.

I think car manufacturers need to get rid of crusie control and give us something we could really use. Like a car powered by something other than gasoline, water let's say. Or a cute little Asian guy with a hairthing to sit in the backseat and rub your shoulders on long tiring drives. Or laser guns mounted on the hood so when you get behind someone going only 65 in the fast lane, you can shoot out thier tires, thus causing them to careen off the road into the median...and allowing you to get on your way.

POLT = listening to "Renegade Master" by Fatboy Slim

"I've always liked you kid." "Everyone does, they just hate to admit it." - Power Girl, JSA #62

3 comments:

Doug said...

Don't hold back. It's not good to keep your emotions bottled up like this. ;)

I love your suggestions, especially about the shoulder-rubbing backseat passenger.

Anonymous said...

I have Cruise Control on my truck but have never used it. I use to have a car with CC. I used it on long trips. I confess, I would set it at the speed limit and then scowl at those who drove a different speed. Sorry. The back seat massager sounds a bit distracting.

Ryan said...

great post! i never use it either.