Sunday, December 14, 2008

the wind is moving, but i am standing still...

Last night, A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking and I went to see "The Day The Earth Stood Still".


Neither of us went into it with high expectations. And upon leaving we both agreed that it was perhaps the most horrible movie we had seen in quite some time. I can say I thought the special effects were decent, ALCMDPP wouldn't even concede that. It truly is dreadful.

All it needed was a 'car chase' and a 'hooker with a heart of gold' and every single trite Hollywood cliche would have been covered in the film. The kid was just awful. Not so much the actor, but the way he was written. He talks like and adult and the female lead, supposed to be his step-mom, relates to him instead like he was adult. I hate that. the kid's also a 'tough cookie' but he's actually 'just hurting underneath and needs a hug'.

the first ten to fifteen minutes or so were alright, they lulled me into a false sense of security. And then the stupidity of the movie just hit me full in the face in this scene: there's an object rocketing towards earth at a speed that will likely kill a large portion of all things on earth. The US Government has gathered together various scientists to try to figure out something to do in the afterfall, they are in essense the earth's only hope. The object is going to hit Manhattan, and what does the government DO with the scientists? it puts them helicopters and flies them OVER Manhattan! What the hell! You're gonna put the people repsonsible for helping us after the Apocolypse at ground zero where the Apocoplypse is gonna happen? The movie lost me there.

John Cleese is a TOTAL waste in the movie. I ususally love anything he does, but he must be hard up for cash to take this role, that really ANY old guy could have filled. Kathy Bates is George Bush in heels and dress. She's all about containing and destroyin this threat to us, until, of COURSE, at the very end, she has her 'come to Jesus' moment and realizes how wrong she's been all along. And the plot holes are big enough to fly an alien glowing ball of energy through.

The movie hits you over the head with it's message: we humans are destroying the enviornment and better stop or really bad things will happen to us. It's so blunt and obvious anyone can see it...Helen Keller could see it, and she's blind, deaf AND dead.

Really, I can't say ANYTHING positive about this film, except it's neat to watch Giant's Stadium disintergrate under a cloud of alien locusts...but then you've seen that in the trailers already, so there's no point to waste your cash to see it again. Really, just stay away from this clunker. If you have any desire to see it, wait until it's out on DVD, which shouldn't be too much longer, and just rent it. Or better yet, don't see it at all. You'll thank me later.

POLT Listening to "Into The Groove" by Madonna

"Have you ever has sex with another guy?" "Define sex." - Zed, Splendor

3 comments:

Ray Avito said...

**ZING!!** That was scathing! I kind of thought this might be a Netflix-er.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the heads up!

Onanite

Bunny said...

Wow - thanks for letting me know! Spousehole wants to see this over the Christmas holiday, but now I have a reason to steer him to Milk or Benjamin Button instead. We can't really ask the 'rents to watch the kids for more than one movie, that would just be cruel. So I don't want to waste my last "movie in a theater" for 2008 on a crummy movie.