Take it to the runway (Part 10)...

Once more, it's time for...

A Project Runway Rundown from a gay man's and a straight man's perspectives

Rock-N-Runway

Oh...my...shit. This rundown's going to be totally laced with expletives. Parental discretion is advised...
Yeah, I totally share the sentiments, even if I don't share the expletives.

Allow me to first say Suede referred to himself as Suede at 9:02, 9:05 (three times), 9:18, and 9:58 (three times). Considering the outcome, it's kinda unfortunate this'll be the last time we hear that. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Okay, first off, kick-ass challenge: Design an outfit for one of the other designers in the style of a specific musical genre. Brilliant. Really. Loving it.
Korto for Suede -- Punk
Kenley for Leanne -- Hip hop
Suede for Jerrel -- Rock & roll
Jerrel for Kenley -- Pop
Leanne for Korto -- Country
Okay, already Leanne's got a handicap. Country's all over the place. From glam to gaudy to white trash, country music runs the gamut. This'll truly be a challenge for her. The rest should be pretty damn easy.
My thought were: Leannimal, hip-hop? No. Korto, country? Double no. Although Suede being punk isn't that far off.

And Leannimal, sweetie, please don't attempt to rap anymore. You're WAY too white to even try.

On the commercial break intro, they show Tim and Kenley having a bit of a sparring match. The quote from my son Chaz: "Ooo. Looks like Tim's going to lay the beat-down on Kenley." (He said it with a gleam in his eye...)
Oh how I wish it were so...my eyes were gleaming too.

I'm liking Korto's initial design. Very punk -- though an easy genre to be sure. Jerrel's outfit looks more Barbarella than pop, but he's been able to pull stuff off in the past, so let's see where he takes this. Suede's sketch looks a bit safe -- where's the rock 'n roll attitude?
Okay, the total highlight of the night: Kenley being bitchy towards Tim. He's the mentor of the show, Kenley, treat him with some respect. Of course, she doesn't. And Tim, in a very un-Tim-like move, calls her out, telling her to cut the sarcasm and listen. Obviously she doesn't -- because she's Kenley and she knows *far* more than this measly little Tim Gunn. (Shootin' some sarcasm right back atcha, little Miss.) Her assessment of the conversation: "I can't really listen to Tim right now. What does he know about hip hop anyway?" Yeah. He may not know all the ins and outs of hip hop, but he knows what looks good, so when he questions your design, you sure as fuck oughta listen to him. "I don't think he (Tim) understands me," she finally says. Well, sister, he *does* understand *design*. And yours is kinda sucking pond water right now. Kenley may well be doomed in this challenge.
Well, I had a few things I wanted to say about their exchange, but, Dave S. dude, you said it SO much better than I had planned to. So we'll just move on.

Kenley is an utter *bitch*. Have I said that before? I think I have...
Well d'uh? that's like people being surprised Clay Aiken is gay. Puh-LEASE people.

Hey! I think I caught a Jerrel nipple for you, Polt! When are they going to show a little Leannimal boobage, though? C'mon. Just a little? Why, oh why, couldn't *she* be teamed with Jerrel's netted pop outfit? Damn. She's *so* much hotter than Kenley.
Yeah, butcha know, Jerell shirtless just isn't the same as Keith shirtless. Or Wesley shirtless. I mean, it's alright, but nothing fabulous. No his bulge in those skin tight, zippered jeans Suede made for him...Oh, I was fanning myself to keep from faintin!

LL Cool J as a judge? Perfect! Loving it. Kenley is ever closer to being off... (and he's the epitome of complete and utter cool.)
Not to mention ripped, cut, and fuckin' HOTTT! Yes, with THREE T's! Deal with it. Wy couldn't we catch some LL Cool J nipple? Now THAT woulda been worth seein!

Okay, okay....let me get a drink of water before we continue.

Thanks for waiting. Moving on...

The runway rundown:
Leanne: Not bad, but not excellent. A bit more mundane than I would've liked. I like the skirt though.
It's a flattering outfit on Korto, I'm just not sure it's really country.
Jerrell: Okay. Definitely pop. But the pasty-style boob coverings aren't doing it for me. I like the netting though, as well as the cut of black.
Oh THIS is outstanding! My God, he actually makes Kenley look hot. Who knew? I'm not a fan of the genre, nor of female singers (Duh), but I think this looks really really good!
Kenley: Ugh. pants are awful. Not hip hop at all. Not even close.
Oh this is horrible. I, Uncle Polt, look more hip-hop when I first get up in the morning than Leannimal in THIS ensemble.
Korto: Nice. Very punk. The jeans are great. A bit much on the chains, but I'm willing to overlook it.
I'm diggin it. And Suede rocked it on the runway. Very well done.
Suede: Not bad. Kinda safe, but the vest is incredible.
Not a bad outfit. Woulda been better if he accentuated Jerell's bulge a little more. (I kid, I KID!) Too understated I think.

My choices:
Winner: Korto
Off: Kenley
Winner: Jerell, although I wouldn't be upset if Korto won.
Loser: Kenley, of COURSE.

Of course, Kenley has to argue with the judges (once again). Advice for you, Kenley: Don't argue with Cool J. Seriously. It won't end well.
Okay, she might be able to claim Tim doesn't know hip-hop, but for Kenley to be arguing with LL Cool J about hip-hop??? Oh, please, girl. Why not try arguing with the Pope about Catholicism.

Winner: Korto (woohoo!)
Okay, I wanted Jerell, but I'm okay with this.
Off: Suede.
What?!? Suede?!? No way. No fucking way. Idiots! There's no *way* Suede's design was the worst of the two (him and Kenley's). Absolutely no way. Kenley blew this challenge completely and irrevocably. At least Suede's *looked* rock 'n roll -- regardless of it's inherent safety. Kenley's wasn't hip hop in the least. Poor poor judgement, guys.
Yeah, it went kinda like this withe me:
Heidi: Kenley.....
Polt: you OUT, bitch!
Heidi: You're in.
Polt: What the fuck? What the FUCK?!?!?!?! (okay, so I shared your explatives as well)

Obviously, to me anyway, this was the producers stepping in. Look, the judges all had nothing but negatives things about Kenley's outfit, and she argued with them over it. Suede's was just "not enough" or "too safe". Clearly, they were leaning on Kenley leaving. But, I feel certain, the producers came to them and pointed out the drama potential of Kenley, and how much more interesting the show would be with a "villian" for the veiwers to hate, and really, Suede's outfit wasn't all THAT great, now was it? And boom, Kenley stays.

Bastards. They did it in season 3, with Jeffrey, and season 2 with that tall bearded dude. There were some outfits of theirs that were simply horrid, and they kept moving him along. Kenley's the closest thing, I think, to a villian that they have, and they wanna keep her.

It is a travesty. And injustice. Almost on par with Chris Daughtry getting kicked off American Idol (the only season I watched) a few years back instead of winning.

It's just a bad, bad, wrong decision.

Chaz made this great analogy: "It's like Kenley is choosing to answer a multiple-choice test always with 'A'. She gets it right some of the time, but mostly she gets it wrong."
I think a better analogy would be she's choosing A always, and then the teacher changes an answer from D to A so Kenley can stay. It's just wrong all around.

Nonetheless, I like this Chaz of which you speak. His wit makes me smile. I think I shall enjoy meeting him.



Next week: Field trip! Kenley sasses Heidi! And tears from everyone on the runway, apparently.
POLT Listening to "Pinch Me" by The Bare Naked Ladies

Before you put your foot in your mouth, make sure you've washed it.