So, Freddie called me again at work on his way home from the bird sanctuary. he had the following tales to tell....
- There's a room where there are birds not in cages, just in the room. They is known as the "Bad Birds", cause they're very agressive, and they have to bribe the birds with wheat thins to get them to move off of things they need them to.
- He made friends with a bird, who doesn't have a name, but who responds to the things Freddie says with, "What's the matter?" or "Who's a bad bird?"
- There's a bird who attacks and goes crazy when he hears the word "Ouch". This was told to Freddie by spelling out the word "Ouch" so as not to cause a pecking frenzy.
- There is a gay bird there named Prettyboy...and really, with a name like that, how could he NOT be gay?
- There's a bird who attacks other birds and can't be left out of his cage, and so when Freddie was dealing with him and the bird made a break for the door, Freddie kept saying to him, "Don't go out! Don't go out!". Because obviously, yelling this at the bird will ensure it doesn't leave.
- There is a big scary ostrich there, scary because he's bigger than Freddie with huge raptor feet!
- Freddie was feeding the deer and saw one freak out and jump around and then land smack on his back. Freddie froze until he started moving again. I suggested narcolepsy. For the deer, not Freddie.
- They had to move man-biting macaws today. The suggested course of action was, "If they come near your figners, just drop the cage on the floor." These two macaws were names Gandolf and Randall...which may account for their crotchety dispositions.
- They also have a bird who ripped his previous owners finger off, the bird's named Hercules. Well of COURSE it is.
See, this may get to be a regular feature here at the Palace too, Freddie's Adventures in Bird Keeping.
POLT Oil:64.44 (-1.21); Gas 3.12 (+.02)
I heart that like a crack whore hearts a truck stop! - Dale, dcgaysofourlives
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2 comments:
Oh, these are way too funny. You have to make it a regular post. I wonder if people are dooming these poor birds to their fates with the names they're give them.
Ah birds. Hate the fuckers. Nasty little dinosaur remnants.
One day I was walking down canal street, which of course is lined with trees. I hadn't noticed the nest in one particular tree so this bird was attacking the hell out of me, dive bombing me etc.
And then there's today. Two pigeons were in the road and I was doing a good clip. Well, lets just say one pigeon didn't make it. All I saw was a small blizzard of feathers blowing over the car.
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