Happy days are here again...

Well gang, Freddie's here for the weekend. He's been back at school since Sunday, moved in with his new roommate (also a young gay man, named Chris), started his required gym class (a gym class. In college. Pfft, how stupid), took a field trip to a zoo (he's a zoo science major, so it makes sense, but...a field trip....sounds so elementary school-ish), is working out in the gym with his friends (well, riding the bikes anyway), has given up sodas and is eating salads, and now, he's here.

YAY.

So I dont expect much posting this weekend.......

POLT

We're trying to figure out how to get out of this mess without moving away and getting sex change operations! - May Jo, Designing Women

Keep your numbers mounting (Part 2)...

55 Fridays

A story told about a photo in 55 words.



Max was always impeccable. Never a wrinkle in his clothes, a speck of dirt on him. Alicia, a midget, snuck into his house and told a tale of seeing him make a potion to give himself a magical force-field, keeping everything off him. She went back to get a sample, we never saw her again.

POLT

Let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore. - Peter, Family Guy

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 94)...

Frenching Fridays

POLT Oil: 73.84 (+.28); Gas: 2.69 (+.01)

If I never get another part because I chose to play a gay character in a gay movie, then fuck Hollywood. - Heath Ledger

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 73)...

Time once more for...



When it gets hot outside, as it's been, Uncle Polt likes to cool down with something yummy, thick, tasty, creamy, sticky, and delicious.

No, you pervs, I don't mean my guy Freddie's special no-no place! I mean a chocolate covered ice cream bar!!!! Yummmmm!!!



Although with the similarities between the two, I can see how you'd get confused.

To see what other Half-Nekkid People, click on the HNT button in my sidebar.

POLT

Honey, I'm busy. Touch yourself. - Karen, Will & Grace

Mover, I'll give ya a dose....

Tonight, when i got home from work, I opened the balcony door to let the air in. And across the street, the people were moving out of thier house. Or more accurately, they had already moved and people were there cleaning. I don't know if it's the people who used to work there or professional cleaners, and nor do i care. Cause the first thing I saw was a hot, young, shirtless guys doing some stuff on the front porch.

Naturally, i grabbed my camera and planted my ass on the chair on the balcony. I managed to get several photos. these aren't that great, cause I'm on the third, he was on the ground floor and my house sits higher than his. Still, he was pretty easy on the eyes...


































































































With this guy, and the lawn mower at my parents' house earlier in the week, I gotta say, I like my neighborhood!

POLT

You know who'd make a better dad than you? A bowl of dirt. Or a cat. Or anything. Anything at all. - Gavin, The Kids In The Hall

No saints, no sinners, no devil as well...

Oh MAN! I was flipping around just minutes ago, and ended up on the Fox Noise Channel. Sean "I'm unbiased" Hannity was on there with three talking heads. And he was saying how he's amazed at the double standard. Sen Craig was only sitting in a stall, tapping his foot on the floor, waving his hand under the stall. That's not lewd conduct!, so Mr. Hannity claims. But Bill Clinton, well he actually had SEX with that girl and lied about it! Now THAT'S criminal.

(of course, Mr. Hannity conviently forgets that Mr. Craig PLED guilty to the charge, and Mr. Clinton was NEVER convicted of ANY wrongdoing, despite the millions of dollars the Republicans wasted in the persecution of him, culminating in the misguided impeachment)

Another talking head got on then to say that he's amazed also by the 'double standard'. When people take a 'moral stance' like Sen. Craig, when he has a lapse in judgement, the Democrats call him a hypocrite. He's not a hypocrite, he's a sinner! And as a sinner he needs to be forgiven and allowed to continue doing his job. And a hyopcrite, well, let's not forget Al Gore, who sucks up all this energy and then tells the rest of us not to. Show me one Democrat that called Al Gore a hypocrit.

(Of course, this joker conviently forgets that Senators McCain and Coleman (?) BOTH Republicans have called for him to resign.)

I wonder, do either of these guys, or thier ilk, see any irony, or, dare I say it, hypocracy, in denouncing a 'double standard' by pointing out how 'badly' the Republicans are treated but yet how 'easy' Democrats have it?

Nah, that sort of deep, logical thought is more than likely lost on the Fox Noise Makers.

POLT

"We'll have to move and make new friends." "But, Jan, you don't have any friends." - Marcia, The Brady Bunch Movie

Cut thier hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 7)...

Wife-Beater Wednesday

POLT Oil: 73.56 (+1.99); Gas: 2.68 (-)

No offense, but you're a decrepit monkey skeleton. - Chief Wiggam, The Simpsons

Maybe these maps and legends have been misunderstood...

Yeah, I know, it's a couple days old now, but if you haven't seen it yet, you must. And if you've seen it before, you know you want to see it again. It's something all "US Americans" should do.



My only questions is, how is Mario NOT start laughing. Or when she wound down, just turn to her and say, "What the FUCK was that??????"

POLT

"I'm on it!" "What does that mean?" "I means there's an it that I'm on, okay?" - Madrox, X-Factor #6

My own private Idaho...

Yeah, I was gonna make some post on Sen. Craig from Idaho. About how a man who voted against gay rights legislation ends up pleading guilty to making a sexual advance to an undercover cop in an airport restroom, and how hypocritical it is and how karma is a bitch and all that. But then I read a post that says it better than I could ever hope to.

This come from enrevanche, you should check him out. But I'll re-post his post here: (and by the way, this has absolutely THE best title I've read concerning issue)
***************
I, da ho

Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho), a staunch "family values" man and a big Romney supporter, pled guilty to cruising for gay sex in a Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bathroom in June 2007.

Upon arrest and interrogation, Senator Craig apparently tried to throw his weight around:

After he was arrested, Craig, who is married, was taken to the Airport Police Operations Center to be interviewed about the lewd conduct incident, according to the police report. At one point during the interview, Craig handed the plainclothes sergeant who arrested him a business card that identified him as a U.S. Senator and said, “What do you think about that?” the report states.

The police sergeant's reaction is not reported, but I hope he said something like, "You're still not getting that blowjob..." (or giving, as the case may have been.)

Whew. Anyone who still plans to vote a straight Republican ticket in 2008 may have trouble finding enough straight Republicans.
**********************
BWahahahahhahahah...it's not only the title that makes this outstanding, but that last line....oh, it had me laughing out loud! Classic!

POLT Oil: 71.57 (-.47); Gas: 2.68 (+.04)

A friend of mine once told me that when your 'gaydar' goes off, to be careful, as there is always a second possibility - German tourists. - Tornwordo

An utterance, information, don't mince words (Part 57)...

Too Much Information Tuesday

1. What is the best relationship advice you've ever received? Love. Laugh. Listen.
2. How many people have you dated at once? How many people do you thinkit is acceptable to date at once? I’ve only ever ‘dated’ one person at a time. And I’ve only ever ‘dated’ like 5 or 6 guys total. (I’m obviously not including all the sexual encounters, cause I don’t consider them dates). And if you have no commitments from any of them, I think it’s acceptable to date as many people at once as you can handle. However, if you make a commitment with one, then it is unaccepatable to date anyone else.
3. What made your worst kiss so bad? He pursed his lips tightly and kept them that way. Wouldn’t relax his lips, wouldn't open his mouth. It was like the kisses you give family members on the cheek. Only this was lip to lip. I progressed us quickly from the kissing to the sex, which was much better..he opened his mouth then.
4. Can a relationship last if the sex is bad? I think it depends on how much you have invested in the relationship. If you’ve been with the person for years, and you love them and have life experiences with them, then bad sex wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker. If you’ve only been with them say a month, and the sex is bad, and doesn’t get any better, even with your helpful suggestions, then yeah, the relationship is doomed. To be fair though, I’m saying all this from the aspect of being in a relationship where the sex is awesome. If it was bad, I might have a different opinion.
5. What one thing would you like your partner to do every time you have sex with them? Oh he knows what I want everytime. Trust me, he knows.
Bonus (as in optional): What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Um, to lure the opposite sex would be my ability to be a great friend. Now my secret weapon to lure in the SAME sex…oh if I told you that I’d have to kill you.

POLT

You made more noise than buffaloes trying to make love on a waterbed. - Natas, Green Arrow #67

Moet et Chandon in her pretty cabinet...

So, with Gonzo's resignation (see below), I got to thinking about Cabinet positions and such. I realized that if Bushie gets to appoint all "his people" to Cabinet level positions, then when I, Uncle Polt, become the first out gay president, I'll get to fill the cabinet with "my people".

Namely, the gays.

And that led me to thinking, who would I put in each position (Cabinet position, not sexual position, you pervs).

Secretary Of State: Ellen DeGeneres


She likes to talk, and she gets people talking, and isn't that what the Sec. Of State is all about? Arabs talking to Israelis, Catholics talking to Protestants, Americans talking to Cubans? And in the photos, she's talking to the wife and daughter of that dead Crocodile Hunter guy. See? She's not even been offered the position, and already she's talking to Australians!

Attorney General: Will Truman


Hey, he IS an attorney after all. And he has no social life to speak of, so I don't have to be worried about him becoming embroiled in a sex scandal or anything. And he bring Grace along for the ride, what the hell?

Secretary of the Treasury: Tom Cruise


The Treasury is all about money, and we all know Tom Cruise has LOTS of money. We also all know he'd fit right in, in my Cabinet, despite what his agent and handlers might say. Know what I mean? Say no more, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Secretary of Defense: That sailor guy from the Village People


He knows ALL about the Navy, about getting himself clean, having a good meal, doing whatever he feels. Hey, look at the bright side, he CAN'T do any worse than Rumsfeld did.

Secretary of The Interior: That cowboy guy from the Village People


As a cowboy, he should know all about the West, and the mountains and plains and forests and all that real out-doorsy stuff.

Secretary Of Housing And Urban Development: That construction worker guy from the Village People


Who knows more about building houses and developing urban areas than a construction worker?

Undersecretary For Indian Affairs: That Indian guy from the Village People


Well, this one was a no-brainer, eh?

Secret Service Chief: That cop from the Village People


Technically, this is a division of the Department of Treasury, so he'd be serving under Tom Cruise. But I bet that not the first gay guy in a cop uniform who 'served' under Tom Cruise.

BA-Da-Bing!

Secretary for S&M, B&D, and All Things Leather: That leather guy from the Village People.


Well, I didn't want him to feel left out, now did I?

Secretary of Labor: Mary Cheney


As the lesbian daughter of uber-conservative Vice President Dick 'Dickhead' Cheney, Ms. Cheney managed to not stur up the ire of the Far Right when she became pregnant and had a child with her lesbian partner. So I figure she should have an easy confirmation in the Senate. And being pregnant, she knows quite a bit about Labor.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Neil Patrick Harris


As Doogie Howser, he learned about health, I'm sure. And as a gay man, he's probably learned a lot about servicing humans! (oh stop. It was either that or some joke about him doing you're yearly hernia/prostate check. I had to choose!)

Secreraty of Education: Mr. Garrison


If he can teach a bunch of animated 4th graders, he can certainly lead a large government bureaucracy.

Secretary of Agriculture: Ted Allen


Agriculture's all about food and stuff. And who knows more about food than Queer Eye For The Straight Guy's Food And Wine Connoisseur Ted Allen?

Secretary of Homeland Security AND Redecorating: Thom Filicia


Yes, guarding the boreders and ensuring the security of the Homeland is a tense and stressful job. But wouldn't we all be able to handle is a bit better with a fresh coat of paint and some delightful throw pillows? Queer Eye For The Straight Guy's Thom knows all about redecorating!

Secretary of The Center Square: Paul Lynde


Just because.

Secretary of Fashion And Clothing Development: Tim Gunn


Like there's anyone else who could, with this new Cabinet position, 'make it work'.

Secretary of Transportation: Patty Bouvier


She's worked at the Springfield DMV for years, she's got plenty of experience in delays and "now please go to the end of the other line"-ing.

Secretary of Hairsprays, Dirty Shames, and Pink Flamingos: John Waters


I've always loved his work. I was gonna put him in charge of the Motion Pictures Ratings Association, the poetic justice and irony of that appealed to me. But then I realized that wasn't a government agency. So I made a Department just for him.

Secretary of Energy: Chi-Chi LaRue


All the pornos she directs have such energy in them and are filled with the hottest, sexiest, most energetic guys, she would seem perfect for the jobs. Plus, maybe I can convince her to let me sit in on some of her sets when she films. When I'm busy doing other presidential things.

Chief of NASA: Lance Bass


Seriously, this is probably the closest he's EVER gonna get to actual outer space.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Kathy Griffin


Okay, I know she's not gay, but the gays LOVE her. And I know she's not a veteran, but she did visit Iraq and the soldiers there once on her show. So why not? And besides, I bet she'd make Cabinet meetings a real hoot!

The Presidential Bodyguards: These two guys


Shut up. It's my post, it's my fantasy, let me live it as I want to!

POLT

Where the HELL is my chiffon??? - Andrae, Project Runway

I'm the rose of sheer perfection...

A sign, done like one of those stupid motivational posters.



*SIGH*....that is SO true. But even if I never reach his proportions, at least I can still ogle him and drool over him!

POLT

Ma'am, I kinda need to focus on now wetting my spiffy magical bug suit. - Blue Beetle, Blue Beetle #7

Dinner out the kitchen door...

Last week, one evening, Ag and I went out. She drove, and we listened to some Canadian crooner who's name I had never heard and can't now recall, and he sang standards, and we sang along. For, while I hadn't heard of him, I had heard the standards.

I got myself two pairs of shoes that i needed and we fed our faces at the buffet. Here is the only photo I took that evening, of a pair of shoes I did NOT get.



Also, these are some of the things said on the trip:

"I dont know the words." "You'll know Me & Mrs. Jones!"
Don't let the air drumming interfere with the driving!
Oh! You'll like this one! It's not slow!
You did very well with the shoes, we'll give you a Spiderman sticker!
"There, you see the one in the green and brown shirt?" "Oh, Ag, I saw that hottie when we were standing in line!"

POLT Oil: 72.04 (+.91); Gas: 2.64 (-.03)

It must be magical in nature. I hate magic. - Batman, Superman & Batman #22

This is a call to all my past resignations...

Well, Attorney General Alberto 'I don't recall' Gonzalez has resigned. And it's not two or three months too late or anything. Maybe he just saw what Karl 'Turd Blossom' Rove saw last week and decided to jump ship along with the other rats. Now we can get an attorney general in there who perhaps will have his or her first loyalty to the law of the land and not the man in the Oval Office. Even I believe there are still some Republicans out there who feel that way.

Anyone wanna place bets on whether Bushie will appoint someone like that to the job, or whether he'll appoint another sycophant he's known for years from his Texas days? Yeah, that last group has a GREAT track record in the administration don't they?

Oh, and Bushie had this to say: President Bush denounces what he calls “unfair treatment” of Albert Gonzales, adding the attorney general’s “good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons.” Well, he oughta know all about draggin someone's name through the mud for politcial reasons...his administration's been doing that for 7 years now.

Funny thing though: this morning, when the announcement was made, when Gonzalez came out to give his short statement, the news channels were all covering it live. Fox Noise Channel: they were showing the crowd outside the Virginia Courthouse where Michael Vick was going to soon appear to plead guilty to the dogfighting charges.

I guess when there's news you don't like, if you ignore it, maybe that means it never happened? Fox Noise ensured thier viewers went uninformed about the situation. Of course, if you're a regular Fox Noise channel viewer I suppose you're used to being uninformed.

Well, I think the whole Gonzalez tenure can be summed up in the following quote:

"Alberto Gonzales is the first Attorney General who thought the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth were three different things." -Congressman Rahm Emanuel

And as was the case with ol' Turd Blossom's leaving, I'm just sorry he's not taking Bushie and/or Dickie with him.

POLT

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservative. - John Stuart Mill

You're wanting my body, I don't mind (Part 109)...

MONDAY'S HOT SHIRTLESS GUY PHOTOS

This week's theme: Hot Shirtless Guys With Thier Shirts Pulled Up!










One of these is of a fellow blogger, taken by his ladylove while they were on vacation. He begged and pleaded for one his photos to be included on a MHSGP post, and so I finally relented and posted one here too. In fact, his raising of his shirt is what determined this week's theme. See if you can figure out which one is him, and which ones are just randomly pulled from the Internet.

POLT

"Good morning, Big Ethel." "What's so good about a morning with dildos in it?" - Big Ethel, A Dirty Shame