A date over dinner yesterday...

Last night, my phone, and I'm quite surprised to find it's A Local Celebrity, Mr. David Parispeking (heretofor known as ALCMDPP, cause it's just TOO much to type the whole damn thing out more than once).

(and I know Parispeking is but one word, but I'm putting both P's there, cause two P's are more funny than one P)

He informed me that tomorrow night (tonight) we were, after I get off work, going to "meet at Crapplebees in Waynesboro [my town] and I will tell you all about being a middle school band teacher". I asked if this was okay with his Missus, and he said he already had the wife's approval, so it was a done deal. And that's the way it was gonna be. So, what i could say, other than okay?

I told him I got off work at 4:00 but we should meet at 5:00 because that gives me time to get home and get freshened up, cause God knows he wouldn't want to see me un-freshened. he agreed.

So, all day today, I was kinda cheery, thinking about having dinner with ALCMDPP at Crapplebee's. I was on my home, it was a bit before 430 and I was about 5 minutes outside of Waynesboro when my cell rang. it was ALCMDPP, and when I answered, all he could do was whine. "Help! I'm lost in Waynesboro!"

Now, bear in mind, Waynesboro has about 9,000 people living in it. There are 9 roads south of the town square, 4 roads north of it, maybe 6 roads to the east, mayeb 6 roads to the west of it, and various alleyways inbetween. There's one main road (imaginatively named Main Street), and I wasn't quite sure how anyone could be lost IN Waynesboro. Getting to it, okay maybe I could see that, but IN it???????

I asked him for a road or a landmark or a store. he said CVS, McDonalds, Pizza Hut. I told him to turn left at the next light, thinking that would get him on the way to my apartment so we could meet there. He waits at the light and then says,"So I'm turning in towards the hospital?"

I literally slapped my forehead. He was headed the OTHER direction. I had thought the stores he mentioned were in the order he had jsut passed them, but no, he was indeed going the other way, so i told him to pull into the hospital parking lot and wait for me there.

He was parked just north of Main street, facing south. I didn't want to fight traffic crossing main, so i pulled into the parking lot directly opposite him, facing north. We were looking at each other.

I won't even go into the problems we had getting ahold of each of other on the phone. When he finally answered him, I just had to ask (and by ask, I mean yell), "What decade are you living in exactly???? You get lost inWaynesboro and then don't know how to use your cellphone???" His reply, a meek "Don't yell at me." I told him to follow me and he said he would.

I watched him back up. BUT, instead of just turning around and going out the way he came in, he decided to drive all the way through the parking lot, around in front of the building and back around to the exit he was parked 20 feet in front of. I called him again, ready to yell once more, but when he picked it up he was already yelling something and then hung up on me. I laughed.

We made it out to Applebees without ALCMDPP adding to his list of embarrassments. And we got in and were seated. We got to argue over the menu, but then ordered basically the same thing, the Ultimate Trios (the second menu down) and an alcoholic libation.

I nearly choked on my strawberry daiquiri when he said, "I'm all about Rent now." Back when we worked together, and I'd mention I was going to see Rent, he scoffed! Yes indeed he did. Calling it a cheap rip-off of La_boheme. But now, his alma mater is using it for thier marching band halftime shows, and he's ALL about it. he says its only playing in NY, not touring, but the next time it tours, we must see it. I offered that we could go to NY to see it. Take the train, just for the day. He said his missus might enjoy that. I said we could pick up Freddie in Philly and take him too. We agreed to do it. (just like we agreed to go see this marching band play, and I've heard nothing more of that yet...)

We talked of politics, music, our jobs, his missus, my Freddie, how new middle school teachers are too idealistic, how the Fox Noise channel sucks, how I'm a Communist, how he was going to get home and not get lost, about scandalous friends, etc, etc, etc.

Near the end of our meal, Andy, ex-Borders Manager showed up. We all used to work together. he was also the DJ and the Parispeking wedding (wherein I and Ghostie were groomsmen). He was there with his lovely wife, who's name I can never remember so I always call her Mrs. Andy. And thier two lovely daughters (which was surpising cause I thought they had only one), the little Miss Andys. (Mrs. Andy is TRULY a lovely understanding woman, because she permitted me to be invited back to a much smaller intimate gathering at her house AFTER a larger one that I got shit faced drunk at and puked on her house, not once but TWICE. Not IN her house...ON her house. I'm told that story STILL occasionally makes the rounds around Borders among the old timers....it happened like 7 years ago. But that's a story for another time.)

At any rate, Andy came over to our booth and talked to us for a bit, until one of the Little Miss Andy's came to retrieve him. He said he was making guitars (well helping make them, but making them sounds so much more exciting than just helping), so now and forever more, HIS icon shall be the following.


He's doing well, said we all needed to get together for some beers (which we DO need to do), and then returned to his family's booth. ALCMDPP and I continued talking and eating for a bit until the bills arrived. (I think my daiquiri was only 80 cents, and that CAN'T be right...but I didn't say anything. yeah, karma's gonna get me for that one) As we were leaving, we walked by Andy's booth to say goodbye, and he told us we had to go back and sit down because he had ordered us both beers!!!! how cool is HE????

So naturally, back we went. And we both ordered cheapest size Coors Light they had (no need to break the guy's bank, ya know?) We talked more while we finished them (well while I finished mine, because ALCMDPP, wussy that he is, only drank about half of his),and then we left, thanking Andy profusely!

it was then that we parted company. ALCMDPP told me that I had until 9:00 to get all this stuff posted cause he hated waiting to read about what he did. But I pointed out that with his direction sense, he was still gonna be lost at 9:00, so what did that matter? he scoffed. i told him not to call me, to call his wife to tell her he was lost. he scoffed again.

Nonetheless, I made sure I didn't even start writing this until 9:00. hey, he don't pay my bills, he can't tell me when to post. Nyah, nyah, nyah!

POLT

A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death. - Martin Luther King Jr.