Coaches roll into the dust, chrome windows turned to rust...

So, my picks for the winners of the NFL Championship games were both busts. both New England and New Orleans lost. *SIGH* I guess my "formula for picking winners is bust.

Still, i guess I gotta pick a winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. We've got Indianapolis Colts vs Chicago Bears. Hmm, could do quarterbacks (Manning v Grossman)...Grossman's cuter, but Manning's a helluva better player....Could do the "big name stars" like I did last week (Manning v Uhrlacher)...Manning's more ripped than Uhrlacher....

Nah, I think this time I'll go for the coaches! Indianapolis' Tony Dungy against Chicago's Lovie Smith. Let's see how they stack up:













1. Dungy's first name is Tony, which is just...okay. Smith's first name is Lovie, which sounds like a drag queen. A drag queen named guy coaching in the Super Bowl? Advantage: Smith
2. I think minorities are hot, which is the minority? They are both black (the first time a black head coach has reached the Super Bowl, and ironically, BOTH coaches are black). Advantage; tie.
3. I love a man with a hairthing, so who has the best hair? I don't know that either of them have any hair. Dungy is either bald or shaves his head, and I couldn't find any photo of Smith that showed his hair. Advantage: tie. (I was gonna give the advantage to Dungy, who does have a moustache, but it's a thin ugly one, so I didn't)
4. Experience...i LOVE a man with experience. Dungy's been in Indy for a while, and formed a real good team there, and I remember him coaching the Bucs (he was in Tampa right? or was that the Jets? Oh no matter...), and I don't even recall hearing Lovie Smith's name until about two months ago (when I thought they had mispronounced it and was trying to say "Louie" Smith). Advantage: Dungy.
5. I like younger guys, so who's younger? Dungy: 51; Smith: 48. Advantage: Smith (but not by much)
6. I think football players are hotter than football coaches, so who's the better football player? Dungy: 3 years professional, one Super Bowl apperance with the Steelers; Smith: No professional football playing experience. Advantage: Dungy.
7. Also, Smith used to be an assistant coach under Dungy when he coached Tampa bay. Advantage: Dungy

So, after seven important categories, Dungy leads Smith 3-2-2. therefore, I go with Dungy and the Colts to beat the Bears in Super Bowl XLI (that's 41, for the Roman numerally disabled among us).

POLT

I like your pants around your feet. I like the dirt that's on your knees. I like the way you still say please when you're looking up at me, you're like my favorite fantasy. - Nickelback