Every Saturday, the food at work sucks. So on the way, I stop by Wal-Mart to get lunch for myself and a few co-workers. I get one of thier subs (surprisingly good and cheap) and a bag of chips, the whole thing costs between 5 and 8 bucks, depending on how many I get. And that's a meal for anywhere between 2 and 4 of us.
Also, at Wal-Mart, I'll pick up a copy of out local newspaper, to read sometime during the day. And I always go to one of the four self-checkout lanes they have there, cause at that time of the morning, there's always at least one open and unoccupied.
Now one at least two occasions that i can recall over the last year, the newspaper wouldn't scan. And since I was on way to work, naturally, I'm running late. So on both of those occasions, and possibly a few other times, I just put the paper in my bag with the other stuff and left. Then, the next weekend, I once scanned the paper twice and the other occasion, went through the line with a cashier and had her charge me for two, and explained why. We kinda laughed about it.
So having gotten that background out of the way, today, a similar situation happened. I had the chips and sub scanned, and the paper wouldn't. I attempted to scan it...nothing. Then i saw there was an option to enter the UPC code, so I hit that, and typed it in...and nothing. I typed it in again and nothing once again. Well, as I said, I was late, so i said, fuck it, dumped the paper in the bag and proceeded to pay with my debit card. I had scanned the card, typed in my IPIN and told it I didn't want any money back. And I was just waiting for the receipt to pop out when suddenly, from my left, someone says, "Did you get the paper scanned?"
I about jumped outta my skin, he surprised me so. But I said, "No, I tried but I couldn't get it to scan OR take the code." "I'll show you how to do it, " he said. And I thought, 'Oh cool, now I'll now what to do if it doesn't scan. ' So i went to get him the paper....
And I realized it was in the bag with the stuff I had just paid for. it was OBVIOUS i wasn't going to pay for it. And I kinda froze, but only for a few seconds, trying to figure out what I should do. And then I thought, oh, well the hell, I'm not gonna stammer around like a moron trying to come up with an excuse. So i reached in and handed it to him and said, "Show me what to do so i know next time."
He took it, tried to scan it, it wouldn't. And then he hit the enter code button and typed it in. I forgot to put the number in front of the barcode itself in, that was the problem. And i said, "Oh, THAT'S why it wouldn't work for me!" He said, "yeah, that can be confusing. That's why we're here, to answer any questions or help you when you're having difficulties." he said the last two words with a hard emphasis. And I knew i was busted.
But I figured, in for a penny in for a pound, just feign ignorance. So i took the paper and said, "Thanks! Now I know what to do the next time it won't scan. Most of the time it does, but sometimes it doesn't" I dropped the paper in the bag, and as I picked the whole thing up, said, "Thanks man!" with a big cheery smile, like there was nothing untoward.
And I turned and walked out whistled and nervous tune, hoping he didn't try to stop me or something. And he didn't! I'm glad I didn't try to explain about paying for it next week, like I had done before, that was all irrelevent, i guess. I'm sure he wouldn't have cared...or believed me for that matter.
God, imagine the humilation...getting arrested for shoplifting...a 53 cent newspaper...when you have over $50 bucks in your wallet...at a Wal-Mart! I mean, if you gotta get caught shoplifting, I'd want to be from an expensive boutique, or shoplifting something expensive....if I gotta go down, I wanna go down BIG! I think if this guy had tried to stop me, I'd have run back into the store and tried to grab something else, a DVD player, or TV, or something expensive and tried to run out with it. That woulda made more sense.
..........well, if indeed anything about this makes sense...
POLT
They'll let you keep spare tires, but no cats? - Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That reminds of what happened to my Uncle a few years ago. He was a veteran of both the WW 2 and the Korean war and had a Purple heart. (No you can't have it. Polt) He loved to talk to anybody who would listen and his stories were usually very interesting. Well, the meeting place here in my small town is Wal-Mart. Everytime I went there he was there talking to three or four other guys. He would stand there for hours. Sometimes he had stuff to carry and never used a shopping cart. He would put stuff in his pockets and pay for it on the way out. Some days he wouldn't buy anything. I think you can see where this is going. One day he had put something in his pocket and forgot about it, as he was leaving a man stopped him and said let me see what's in your pocket. My Uncle pulled the item out and was embarrassed. He said oh I'm sorry let me go pay for this. But the man took the item and said you are banned from ever shopping here again. My Uncle who was in his 80's was very upset. His wife who was of German descent and had a strong accent and temper, went to the manager and told him what she thought of him and his mother and ancestors back to the stone age. My Uncle was allowed to come back and he finished out his life being able to tell his stories to all who cared to listen.
Post a Comment