Your boyfriend he's 6-3, quarterback on Varsity...

With my Cowboys out of the playoffs (but at least it was a good game, coming down to the wire. Oh, i certainly wished it had ended different, but it was much better than a 31-13 something blowout), I don't know who to support now. Perhaps I'll just wait until the Super Bowl, and then pick which one I'm rooting for.

There are still four games this weekend and I really don't know who's going to win which game, so I figured I needed to have a formula. Some people look at thier records, some people look at thier injury lists, some people look at the experience of the players and coaches, some people look at the stats....what do I say to all that? Pho-ew! I'm going to pick which team is going to win by who has the cuter starting quarterback. (hey, there's less scientific ways...)

Firstly, we'll have the Seattle Seahawks at the Chicago Bears.

Seattle's Matt Hasselback












Chicago's Rex Grossman
















I'm going with Chicago and Grossman. The Hasselback photo is deceptive, as it doesn't show his bald head (which in and of itself is not a bad thing, it's just his bald head isn't sexy), nor his shrew of sister-in-law Elizabeth Hasselback, from the View (she stated, and I quote from Wikipedia "I believe that life begins at the moment of penetration" and was against the morning-after pill, all abortions, supported Bushie in 2004, and gave a speech at the Republican convention that year! [No, I don't know what all that has to do with the Seahawks losing, but I was on a roll]) Grossman, on the other hand, is a little cutie. yeah, perhaps a bit too much of a frat boy thing going...but hell, I always had a thing for "straight" frat boys anyway. Difference between a straight frat boy and a bisexual frat boy? 6 beers. [Yeah, I know, nothing to do with Chicago winning...but I never give up the opportunity to mention bisexual frat boys!]

My pick: Chicago over Seattle 27-10.
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Next we'll take the Philadelphia Eagles at the New Orleans Saints.

Philadelphia's Jeff Garcia


















New Orleans Drew Brees















No contest, Drew Brees. Garica is old (well at 36, he's old for quarterbacks), again, unattractively bald, and has this look about him of wanting to bargain for your soul, ya know? Kinda evil, kinda demonic, kinda used car salesman crossed with an insurance agent kinda thing. Smarmy I think the word is. Drew Brees on the other hand is young (27), muscular, hot, and with a great smile (which you can't see here, but I saw it on an interview on TV. In this picture, he's licking his lips, be happy with that).

My pick: New Orleans over Philadelphia 24-9
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Next we have the New England Patriots at the San Diego Chargers.

New England's Tom Brady




















San Diego's Phillip Rivers














Now, this one's a little tougher. Tom Brady is...well, Tom Brady. Who can resist the whole entire package that IS Mr. Brady? But Phillip Rivers, who's name I didn't even know, is a cutie too. however, Mr. Rivers is only 25, and playing in his first big post season game, whilst Tom Brady, in the 12 post season games he's played, has only lost ONE of them. Yeah, Rivers is cute, BUT, Brady is hot, and with all that experience as well, i gotta give the edge to Brady and the Patriots.

My pick: New England over San Diego 38-28.
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Lastly, we have the Indianapolis Colts at the Baltimore Ravens. (oooh, I've lived all my life in the Baltimore TV viewing era, and I remember when the Colts snuck away in the middle of the night to go to Indianapolis. I think this might be the first time they return in the playoffs...how nasty is that gonna be?)

Indianapolis' Peyton Manning



















Baltimore's Steve McNair















Okay, Peyton Manning has a body that looks like it was carved out of marble by Michelangelo (which, unfortunately, you can't see in this photo), but his face...well, I hesitate to say horse-faced, cause it makes him sound ugly, which he's not. but he does have a...long face, and it's not entirely attractive (his brother, however, is a cutie). And as anyone who knows me can vouch for, I love me some black men! I think black men are hot in general. however, specifically, Steve McNair does nothing for me, either in body or face. So, on the basis of body alone, I gotta go with Manning and the Colts!

My Pick: Indianapolis over Baltimore 14-13.

So, I guess we'll know this time next week whether this is a viable means of picking football game winners.

POLT

You talk about her like that, I'll feed you each your teeth. Rectally. - Two-Face, Batman: No Man's Land