Going to a go-go, everybody...

This past weekend, Freddie went to a gay bar in Philadelphia, and took with him his future roommate, who is also gay, and said gay future roommate's faghag. And apparently a good time was had by all. They were there for several hours, dancing thier little gay hearts out. Freddie excitedly told me all about it and all the stories on Sunday.

I sat there smiling while I listened cause it brought everthing back to me, when I was young and gay bars were new and exciting.

I was 23 when i went to my first gay bar. I'm sure Deer Park was nothing like the club Freddie went to, but it was all we had around here in 1990-91. I remember the first time I went, it was a Friday night, and I drove up by it. Deer Park is situated along a highway in the mountains, there's very little around it but woods. That Friday night, i drove passed the building, back and forth, at least 6 times. And then i went home. I just didn't have the nerve to go in.

the next night, Saturday, I actually drove onto the parking lot and parked, far away from the road so no one could see my car whiel driving past. Not that that many people used that road, and if they did, there was little chance they'd recognize my car. But nonetheless, that's what I did. And I sat in the car, trying to talk myself into going in. Oh was I conflicted. I can laugh about it now, and do, but then, there were serious concerns I had considering I wasn't really out to anybody. Just barely out to myself, in fact.

Finally, after what had to be an hour or more, I got up the nerve to walk in. Although, I only made it to the front door, when i chickened out and went back to my car. And I sat there for a bit longer. And then, I remember saying to myself, "This is stupid. You've come this far, jsut go inside. If you don't like it, come back out and leave."

I got out of the car, went to the front door, paused, but then opened it. Right away I had to pay the cover, $2.00 then, and entered in. The lady taking the money said nothing to me, barely acknowledged me. She certainly didn't chime out something like "Fag, fagboy, fag!" Not that I really expected her to, but I don't think I would have been surprised if she had. And then i entered the bar.

The front bar had a bar and a bunch of tables. And it was packed. I didn't order anything, and just kind of wandered around until I made my way to the back bar, which had two bars and a small dance floor. And people were dancing and packed in kinda tightly. I stood back against the wall, just taking it all in.

I was amazed, the lights (bright, and colorful) the sounds (thumping beats, laughter), the smells (cologne, beer, smoke, sweat), the feelings (the beat reverberating through my body, the occasional brush of someone's body as they passed). But all I did was just stand there and look at everything. I couldn't talk to anyone, I couldn't even get the nerve up to go to the bar and ask for a drink. I was there for a bit of time I don't remember how long, over an hour I'm sure. And the only song I remember is "Vogue" by Madonna. I remember hearing it, and watching some of the queens go into vogue mode.

I left alone, I'm not sure if I said four whole sentences the whole time I was there. But I realized something important, I would be going back!

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Girl, if I wasn't married, pregnant and my feet didn't gurt, I'd get with one of them brothers! - Ida, Beauty Shop