As I posted earlier, I just haven't been in the Christmas spirit lately, what with it being so warm, and having already exchanged some gifts, and not knowing what to buy, and all sorta stuff like that. Well something happened today that changed all that.
I was running late for work (just imagine!) so i didn't pack lunch, figuring I'd just go out and get something. And as the morning wore on, I found I had the hankering for a Big Mac. So at lunch, I ventured out to the closest McDonald's, which just happens to be in a shopping center. it is, of course, less than a week to Christmas, so when i got to the shopping center it was, naturally packed. And so was the McDonalds. The drive thru line was backed up, and it looked a bit crowded inside, but I figured, at least inside, there are several different registers to go to. So I found a parking space and went in.
I got in the shortest line I found...but was still the fifth person in line. And as I got there, I discovered the lady that was first in my line did not have a very strong command of the English language. Not so surprisingly, the girl behind the counter did not either. And unfortunately, neither of them spoke the language of the other. So it was the customer speak...something andthe employee, speaking Spanish, both trying to get an order done in English.
Finally, after about 6 minutes or so, they had the order completed, and the woman's bill came out to $14 exactly. how that happened, I have no idea, go figure. The customer opens her purse to pay and decides to do so in just $1 bills. After slowly counting them out, one assumes to make sure she's being accurate, it turns out she only has 8 bills. Reaching back into her purse, she pulls out a little change purse, dumps it on the counter and decides to pay the remainder in change....small change....virtually no quarters, from what i could tell. And, as with the bills, she does this slowly, one again assumes to ensure accuracy.
I should add that by this time I, and the two people in front of me have moved to other lines. Our spaces were soon filled by other unwary victims who had no idea what was taking place at the front and just saw a short line. Why the guy behind her hadn't moved, I don't know. Maybe he didn't see the shorter lines? maybe he had more time invested in that line? Maybe he wanted to hit on the Mexican register girl, who knows?
At any rate, when the customer had finished counting her change, she only had $5.43 cents (or something similar). She looked up to the register girl and started to attempt to explain something to her.
And then, from behind her, the man that still remain in the line said,
"Oh my FUCKING God! Take my FUCKING dollar and get the FUCK OUT of my line!"
Said? no, actually he yelled it. i think people in the drive thru heard him. And with that he threw a dollar on the counter.
And then, as if hit with an epiphany, as if divine light shone down upon me from on high, and cherubs circled me playing on thier harps, I suddenly remembered what Christmas was all about! It was just like what I had just witnessed...someone with plenty generously giving to those less fortunate. And I was filled with peace and joy and love for my fellow man. Mainly cause I was now at the counter and had just given my order.
Course, a twenty five degree drop in the temperature would sure help things along too.
POLT
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. - Tyler, Fight Club
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4 comments:
ah yes, the "line." I am always behind some sort of incompetent who is trying to figure out their change situation. I always let my feeling show too. Happy happy joy joy.
Onanite
I wonder what he would have done if it wasn't the holiday season.
Oh now that is just twisted.
"Someone with plenty" of "F" words "generously giving to those" with not enough grasp of the Amrrican language to be using the "F" word.
Hopefully, that poor lady has had her understanding (?) of the Amrrican language 'enhanced' by this lesson such that she can use the "F" word properly from now on. If nothing else she'll know how to get peoples attention.
But tell us the good part.....one can only imagine that her hair and clothing must have been blown clear across the serving counter with smoke coming out of her ears......or did she just melt into a puddle of embarrassment? (no, I guess that would required an understanding of Amrrican to be embarrassed) Was there complete silence in the place after the good man so generously demanded that the lady take his dollar?? Was there any outburst of laughter from the other employees or patrons in the place??? Or did the heavenly angels on high come down and bestow a grasp of the Amrrican language upon everyone there???? Do tell.......
Hopefully the man never finds himself in a foreign country (like New Jersey) attempting to order food in another language and attempting to pay with currency unfamiliar to him. Only someone really stupid would attempt such a feat.
How dare these foreigners (probably illegal immigrants) delay our fast food lunches by not having a decent command of the Amrrican language!!! How dare they get in fast food lines that we intend to get in when we arrive??? I mean, the nerve of these people! And the nerve of that fast food employee...getting paid $9 an hour and allowing someone that doesn't speak Amrrican to even attempt placing an order. Such gross imcompetence!! That employee needs to have remedial training in how to handle problem customers such as that pitiful lady. When is that fence between Amrrica and Canada supposed to be completed anyway? I mean, I'm drowning in Canadian pennies here. Probably they'll still continue to slip through the fence anyway. I heard that they were going to be hiring some other flavor of non-Amrricans to build the fence. Surely no Amrricans in their right mind would come off of their rightfully entitled unemployment or welfare to take a part-time minimum wage job working 60 hours a week with no benefits to build a fence. God knows we need to get it done fast to keep all those wicked sinful married gay people in their own land.
Fairy "F'ing" Godfather
(p.s. If the "f'ing" man has any extra "f'ing' dollars that he doesn't "f'ing" know what to "f'ing" do with then please send him my "f'ing" way so that I can "f'ing" unburden him. Thank you.)
You're hilarious, Poltie!
Glad you were able to find the Christmas spirit...in your own, twisted way! ;o)
Merry Ho Ho and all that happy crappy!
*hugs*
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