Just got finished watching a live action version of "The Year Without A Santa Claus". I had such high hopes. I mean, the Christmas special it's based on is my favorite. It was starring John Goodman, Delta Burke, Chris Kattan, Harvey Fierstein, Michael McKean, Carol Kane. It SHOULD have been something special.
instead.....it was horrible. Horrid. Vapid. Sad and pathetic. Overacted. Not fun or funny. Just..bad.
Santa Claus, in the cartoon, was kinda depressed and down. In this thing, he was loud, obnoxious, and just plain mean. There was some ludicris plotline about some 'new' elf named Sparky who wanted to take Santa's place. Mrs. Claus, instead of being instrumental in the whole story, was simply a second tier character, doing very little but wandering around the sets. Iggy Thistlewhite was now the mayor's son, and NOT a redhead. Dr. Laura (!!) of all people was used to spout her psychobabble mumbo-jumbo. Jingle elf was large and stupid, Janlge elf was black and obsessed with TV. Harvey Fierstein, certainly one of the gayest men to ever come out of the Bronx, is cast as Heat Mizer, in Bermuda shorts, with a Southern accent, surrounded by scantily clad women dancers in bikinis! WTF???Carson Cressley was wasted as an elf tailor...or some such thing. And it was stretched out to two hours, which was an hour too long for the original and about two hours too long for this tripe they subjected us to tonight.
This kind of crap is why I watch very little network TV anymore. I'll just stick with watching the original on DVD, it's worlds better that tonight's drivel.
POLT
Listen, Josh, the way your present yourself - I'm trying to think of a nice way to put this - it's annoying as hell and makes me want to hurl you to your death. - Huntress, Brids Of Prey #68
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