And didn't press you for the details...

Monday's Hot Shirtless Guys Photos is taking a one week due to the death of my father. It will return next week, in its entirety.

Anyways, Sunday morning, I went to sit with dad so mom could go to church. This was the worst I had seen him. he didn't seem to know where he was, who he was, or anything. Mom had given him one of the morphine pills the night before so he could sleep through the night, we assumed this was just the result of the pill, as it was an extended release pill.

When she got home, we rolled him on his side, so she could check the sore that growing on his butt and put more cream on it. He was moaning all through it, because we assumed it hurt to move, but had to check the sore, and then change his diaper. He was basically unresponsive. I decided when I left that the next time I was over, Monday, I'd talk to mom about moving him somewhere, because he was getting too much for her.

I came home, Freddie and I got something to eat and hung out here. (God bless him, Freddie was here from Friday night, and I wasn't home a lot cause I was over with mom and dad. he knew that was the situation before he came down, but he came anyway. And was as supportive and understanding as he could be.) He asked me if I wanted him to ga back earlier, like that night, instead of waiting until Monday morning. I told him I didn't, BUT...well, i probably wasn't going to be much company Sunday night anyway, as i was kinda distracted. So the more I thought about it, the more I thought he might as well just go back. Not that I wanted him to, mind you, but it seemed to make the most sense. So he packed up and left. I'll say again what a trooper he was this weekend. I love the kid so much.

So it wasn't long after he left, I was sitting there watching the Redskins...well, get skinned by the Patriots(yay), and my cell rang. It was mom. She said I should probably come over.

What had happened was, after I left, mom called the Hospice people, because dad hadn't pooped in about two days (but he wasn't eating anyway), and hadn't peed in almost a full day. Mom though he might have to have a catheter. So the Hospice nurse said she'd be over later to see about that.

About 430, mom's cousin Bonnie and her husband Dick came down to visit with some food. The three of them ate, and were visiting when the Hospice nurse arrived at 530. mom mentioned the cathing and the sore on dad's butt. the nurse checked him over, and ignored both of mom's questions, and said she'd stay a little while here before she decided to cath him. She later told us she knew when she got there dad didn't have long to live. She kept checking his pulse and heartbeat and breathing. And then about 6:00 told mom that if she had any children and a pastor, she might want to call them. And that's when I got the call.

I didn't know on the way over what it was, if he was dying, or if the Hospice lady needed to go over stuff with us or not. Thankfully, they live about a 5 minutes, or less walk, from my place.

I got there, and Bonnie met me at the door and hugged me. I still wasn't sure what was happening. mom was sitting on one side of the bed holding his hand. Dick put a chair on the other side for me. Mom told me to sit. the nurse said he probably didn't have too much longer to live. I was a bit shocked, considering he wasn't good when I left 5 hours earlier, but he certainly didn't seem near death. But then as I sat there, I realized, yeah, he is.

he was laying there, his eyes open, but unseeing. His hands were cold. He was a bit blue around his lips and in his hands and such. And he was taking very shallow infrequent breaths. it reminded me of a fish out of water, trying to breath. I told mom that I didn't think I could sit here and do this. She said I could go into the kitchen if I needed.

then i remembered when we put our one dog down about 5 years ago, I went with her, and held her while the vet gave her the injections. I was there when we got her from the pound, I had to be there when she died. And I then decided in my mind, that if I could be there for your dog, I could certainly be there for my father. I HAD to be.

So we sat there. Bonnie was behind mom, Dick was behind me, had thier hands on our shoulders. And we just watched. The nurse (God she was SO good, so understanding, so helpful, I can't say enough good things about her) checked him a few times, and said, it would be soon. Mom leaned over his kiss him and said something to him while she was crying. I sat there for a few more minutes and then I got up and went to the head of the bed. I rubbed his head, leaned odwn and kissed his cheek near his ear, and whispered in his ear, around my crying, that I loved him, that mom and Angel (the dog) and I were all here with him. I told him he fought hard, but it was time for him to go. We all understood.

He took a few more of the light breaths, and then....just stopped. The nurse checked him again, and called it at 6:32pm.

So then Bonnie set out calling the relatives, mom's brothers and sister, her mother. After a bit, I went to tell the two ladies that lived up the street that had helped out, sitting with dad, or letting the dog out for mom when dad was in the hospital, and I told the guy who lived next door that had helped dad up the one time he fell.

Mom and I each had a big crying bout, but we got ourselves back under control before the family started showing up. We didn't really want all that many people in the house then, but we ended up having about 10-12 people there offering their support, which was appreciated, even if it was a bit unnecessary. the nurse (again, God bless her) called the doctor about something and called the funeral home to come get the body, but they didn't show up until about 930 i think, so that gave us all plenty of time to let the family see him, if they wanted. Angel, God bless her too, laid on the bed with him the entire time, and would only get off when I physically lifted her off and gave her to a relative to hold while they took the body.

People gradually started leaveing, and about 1100 or so, they were all gone. She and I set down to get the information form the funeral home left us filled out. And we gathered his clothes, and the papers and stuff together. Got a wedding ring for him to be buried with, he hadn't been wearing it. And there's a photo of both dogs in a frame that says "Pick Of The Litter" that I got in Toronto that dad wanted buried with him, so we got that too.

I asked mom repeatedly if she wanted to stay the night with her, but she said no. She and I were really doing okay. We're both relieved, and we did plenty of crying when he died, when certain relatives showed up and such. I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to cry in the future as well. But right then, and even today, we're doing alright.

I'm just amazed at how everything worked out. What I mean is, getting cancer like this is NEVER good. But,

• just last year they got the room added that included the new shower, so they could use that instead of taking stairs when he was unable to.
• Mom was able to retire and stay home with him all the time (although, now she's decided to go back to work, and just retire next spring like she originally intended).
• mom got the truck transferred to her name just last week.
• Also last week, she went through some boxes and pulled out some photos of him, so they're ready for the photoboards.
• She also wetn looking for and found all the papers (insurance, pension, will, etcetc) last week and had them all organized.
• Friday night, my little cousin Cam got to see him. Saturday, my 9 year old cousin Corey got to see him.
• Sunday early afternoon, my cousin Lexi (she's 7) got to see him.
• my mom's neices and nephews got to see him Saturday, and Brian and his family stopped by then too to visit, although that was the first time they did.
• He loved all those couisins and the little kids and they all oved "Uncle Milt". It's like everyone got to see him this weekend before he died.
• It worked out that bonnie and dick were there, so mom wasn't alone before I got there, and
• it worked out that the Hospice lady got there when she did. If she hadn't shown up, mom could have just found dad dead at say 6;45 when she went in to talk to him, this way, we got to be there bedside.

Today was dealing with arrangements and such, but that went rather well. Tomorrow's the reception (we're not having a viewing, dad didn't want one). I think that's gonna be hard. Mom and I really are doing well, but we'll have to see person after person after person that's upset and offering condolences and such. But that' part of the deal. mom didn't really even want to have that, but I said that's for the friends and family, not for us. They need to let us know they care and such and it could be closure for some of them too, perhaps. So we're having it. But I really think that's gonna be the hardest part. And then the funeral, well that will private, so that's okay, just family.

Man, we all knew he was going to go fast, I just can't believe how fast it was.

My dad and I didn't have the best of relationships, but I tell you, if when i die, I'm as loved by as many different people as he is, I'll consider myself lucky.

POLT

Listening to "History Repeating" by the Propellorheads