Quietly friends are reunited, singing a song of long ago...

You may have read HERE, about my abortive attempt to visit Tam and her daughter in DC and show them the sights. Yeah, bummer. But today, Tam was driving from Baltimore towards Pittsburgh, and would be passing about 5 miles from my workplace. And as she said in her email, "I'm NOT going to be within 5 miles of you and not get at least a hug!"

So, we agreed she'd meet me at work, coincidentially right as I got off work, we'd catch something to eat, and then I'd treat her and her daughter to a tour of my workplace, seeing as how neither of them had ever been inside a jail before (although really, I don't know WHO Tam thinks she's trying to fool...but I digress...)

So, despite another attempt by the traffic gods to thwart us by throwing jams in her way, Tam did indeed make it to my workplace very shortly after 4:00. Following a hug for Tam, and a handshake for Kristen, we piled in Miss Cleo, decided on steaks and I drove us the Texas Roadhouse.

We had a delicious meal (once Tam sent her first steak back and got a second one that actually was truly well-done), stimulating conversation, and a fun time, which is what I've come to expect from Tam. Kristen, while somewhat quiet (perhaps she was shy, or perhaps it was just because she didn't know me from Adam...her mom knows all about me, she knew (I presume) very little) was still funny....especially with the loud eye rolls.

Following the meal and a return trip through beautiful downtown Hagerstown, we got back to where we started and I commenced the in depth tour...while promptly ended 15 minutes later, cause really, there ain't much to see. Although they DID get the thrill of being scanned with a hand scanner before they were allowed inside, and got to meet a few officers...although now that I think about it I never did introduce them...they missed out on the strip search room cause that room was being used. And they actually got to see real live and in person inmates...through tinted glass, standing 5 feet above then and several yards away in the control center. Still, I think they had an informative, if not enjoyable, tour.

Then, once I confirmed their route on the Google map they had, and got a goodbye hug from Tam, they were off and on their way to West Virginia for the night.

And I did manage to remember a photo...


But only after we split did I realize I hadn't gotten any of Kristen. Silly old man. At any rate in this photo, right to left, you have Miss Cleo, Tam, Me, and the vehicle I've christened the Tammobile, just cause I can.

Tam did mentioned that she hoped we were going to see each other every three months from now on, since we've now see each other the end of April and the end of July. I don't believe that's very practical or likely to happen, but truthfully, nothing would please me more.

POLT Listening to "Pride And Joy" by Stevie Ray Vaughn

You've had more visitors than Disneyland! - Lindsey, Queer As Folk

We were at the beach, everybody had matching towels...

Something I realized not too long ago: Unconsciously on my part, I match my shirt color to my underwear color. Seriously. When I wear a blue shirt, I put on blue undies, grey shirt, grey undies, white shirt, white undies. I even have a pair of purple underwear I wear with my purple shirt.

Two problems with this though, I have an orange polo shirt, but I’ve no orange undies. The closest I have is the flaming Superman boxers shown HERE. The other problem, which isn’t really a problem actually, is that this only applies to dressing for work. After work, going anywhere, I just grab a comfortable t-shirt and any pair of undies and off we go.

Upon thinking about the matching though, I realized something else. My socks HAV E to match my shoes. If I put on my black work shoes, I have to have block socks. Brown work shoes, gotta have the brown socks. Sneakers required white socks. I’ve seen people with black socks and sneakers, and I guess some of them can pull off that look, but not me. Gotta have the white socks. And it doesn’t matter what color the sneaker: white, blue or black, the socks have to be white.

Also, generally, my shoes must match my pants. SO if I’m wearing black pants, it’s black shoes; if I’m wearing brown or khaki, it’s brown shoes, and if I’m wearing jeans, then it’s sneakers. And of course, if it’s for work, the belt must match the color of the pants, unless it’s jeans, and then any color will do.

And what’s weirdest about this for me is that until recently, I was never really conscious of this. But once it came to my attention, I now see how much I do this kinda stuff. Just another way that I’d weird, I suppose.

POLT Listening to "Why Does It Always Rain On Me?" by Travis

"You stabbed me in the head with a spear." "True. But face it, big boy, your head is not a vital organ." - Psimon, Outsiders #13

Part 286...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Wonderwall" by Oasis Oil: 69.50 (+2.97); Gas: 2.47 (-)

You don't know what sucking and fucking can be till you've mastered them in a speeding car. - David Quinn, The Perpetual

Some boys kise me, some boys hug me (Part 196)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Kissers With Facial Hair!





POLT Listening to "Hands Held High" by Linkin Park

Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

My bags, they get a very close inspection, yeah...

So, tonight we had the home inspection. Two hours and $325 later, I find out there some electrical issues: wiring needs replaced, splice boxes covering a LOT of splicing, outside cable insulation needs replaced, those kinda things. There's also a few outlets that need secured and one need replaced.

There's other things like paint needing repainted, new caucking around windows, some outlets not grounded, things like that.

Tomorrow I'll get a copy of his report emailed to me, but he said, bascially it's a good house, in good, sound condition. The basement, attic and roof are all fine. So that's a relief. After reading the report, I'll talk it over with the realtor and see what she says, but I think I'm gonna make the seller pay to fix the electrical stuff. After all, that'll have to be fixed before she can sell it PERIOD, whether it's to me or someone else, so, to my mind, that's her responsibility. As for me, I'll take the smaller things on my own...or at least that's my plan. As I said, I'll discuss everything with the realtor and we'll see.

But all in all, it went quite well. Now, just 50,000 more hoops to jump through before the house is mine *SIGH*.

POLT Listening to "And She Was" by The Talking Heads

"You believe everything you read?" "Well, only the comics." "Comics will rot your brain, Doc." - Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn #27

Come to the table and taste of the glory...

Does IKEA sell this type of table? I'd like to get one for the dining room in my new house.


And the living room. And the bedroom. And the basement. And for my car Etc, etc, etc.

POLT Listening to "Flower" by The Pansy Division

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Herr proctor, alias a nobleman, son of son of scion...

So, as it turns out, I’m going to be a proctor. And no, that isn’t anything near as dirty as it sounds. Actually, I KNOW what a proctor is, but it sounds dirty to me nonetheless. But I digress…

A friend of mine is taking correspondence courses and she needs someone to proctor her (snicker) while she takes the test. I think she said it would be like 5-6 hours! She can’t have access to the Internet, but I, thankfully,can! And the person who proctors her (snicker) must have like an AA degree or something and can’t be a relative or some such junk. So basically, I’m gonna sit there for a bunch of hours and make sure she’s not cheating, which I read, or cruise the Internets, or, more than likely, fall dead asleep.


And even though I’m not getting paid, she said she’ll take me out to eat afterwards, so how can I say no? Not sure when this will be, but I’ll more than likely be posting while I’m sitting there. I mean, what else am I gonna do for that amount of time?

And now, finally, I can strike off my List Of Things To Do Before I Die #271: Proctor Someone (giggle).

POLT Listening to "Fretless" by R.E.M.

What's your fetish? What's your pleasure? Designer violence made to measure - like a velvet glove, like a ball and chain, like the kiss of the whip, when you're hungry for pain. - The Electric Hellfire Club

Post 285...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Purple Haze" by The Cure Oil: 66.53 (+3.51); Gas: 2.47 (+.02)

"What's camping without beer?" "Well, it's still camping...just with less...vomiting." - Without A Paddle

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 172)...

Once more, kids, it's time for....

Earlier this week, my mom went to a cousin's house to pick some green beans they had planted for her. She ended up with two bucketfuls. When I was over there, I helped her break the ends off and then pop them in half. And I don't even LIKE green beans. But, I figure, she feeds me so much stuff I DO like, it can't hurt to help her with there.


Yeah, that's my size 12's around the bucket. And it wasn't all that bad, it was decent weather and we sat and talked while we did it, with the dog wandering around, or sleeping at our feet. A relaxing summer afternoon, all in all.

To see what others put up, click http://osbasso.blogspot.com

POLT Listening to "Black Black Heart" by David Usher

Vanilla boys are always the wildest, all that unfulfilled desire. - Dale Wetzler, Queer As Folk

All of my plans, all of my dreams...

Last night sucked. It was in the 70's and so humid it felt like I was in a sauna. And not in a good way, like if the sauna was empty, or just occupied by old, fat, hairy Mafia type guys, that kinda sauna.

At any rate, I could not sleep. I don't have any ac in the bedroom, but I really don't usually need it. I have a fan at the bottom right of the bed, and that normally handles any heat, but it can't touch the humidity.

So after waking up a few times in puddles of my own persperation, about 3:15 am, I got up, used the bathroom, then went out to the living room and drug the fan I have out there into the bedroom. I set it at the bottom left hand side and, thusly being caught in a nice cross wind, got quite comfortable and fell asleep. Course, I had wasted half the night by then. *SIGH*

Tonight should be better, as it's not as hot, and not as humid, and there's a small thuderstorm taking place outside cooling things off even more.

Tomorrow, I have the home inspection. It'll be me, the inspector, my realtor, my mom, and A Local Celebrity, Mr. David ParisPeking. Yeah, he needs outta the house, so he's coming over to see my new almost-house, and then we're going to eat afterwards. Mom's made a list up of stuff and she's gonna do her own thing while I follow the inspector around. She's gonna check all the appliances and make sure they work, open the outside doors that lead to the basement, from BOTH sides, check out some things in the bathroom, I forget what all she told me. It makes me laugh, you'd think SHE were buying the house. But I don't mind, cause she's checking out things that probably SHOULD be checked out, and that I wouldn't on my own.

Saturday night, I'm supposed to go to Corey's mother's house to hang out with him, his girlfriend, another gay friend of his, and a case of beer. And Sunday early afternoon, T is supposed to be stopping by for more photos and possibly a video. And that's more than likely to be the highlight of my weekend. Even if it is really humid again then, will I care? Or even notice? I think not.

POLT Listening to "Warning" by Green Day

"Well, you waltz nice, I'll give you that." "Kind of a shame you punctured my leg." - Catman, Birds Of Prey #107

Get up and move it, to the music (Part 6)...

Motivation

POLT Listening to "Ride Of The Valkyries" performed by The Budapest Symphony Orchestra

We're just dealing with a group of people right now who think some things are good and some things are evil. Sloth is evil. Homosexuality is evil. Violence gets a pass because of gun issues, because if an evil person were to come into the house of a good person, they want to be able to shoot them. - Al Franken

Part 284...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" by U2 Oil: 63.02 (-3.70); Gas: 2.45 (+.02)

The truth is, if either of you had any idea how intelligent I am right now...you'd just piss. - Professor Q, Monarchy #4

Cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots (Part 106)...

Wife Beater Wednesdays

This week's theme: Facial Hair!





POLT Listening to "Psycho Killer" by the Talking Heads

This is utterly fecal. - Death, The High Cost Of Living

Part 283....

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve Oil: 66.72 (-1.49); Gas: 2.43 (+.01)

They say it's lonely at the top, and maybe they're right, but there's a helluva view! - Steve Vance

Round my head, bring me mad men's bodies...

I've seen these around a few places, but when Criaggers over at Puntabulous does one, well, then being the slave to peer pressure that I am, I just HAVE to do one too.


No, I've never watched an episode of Mad Men, but that doesn't mean I can't madmenize myself, right? And how much like me IS this??? Champagne chilled, disheveled bed, purplish bed sheers....this IS the Polt Boudoir!

Frankly, though, the thing I liked best about the whole thing is the late50's-early60's lounge music they had playing while I made all this up. Sweet.

If you wanna do one of yourself, go HERE. And tell 'em Polt sentcha!

POLT Listening to the madmenize yourself background music.

That's not underwear, it's hideous! That's birth control! - Carson, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy

There's such a lot of traffic about...

If life went according to plan, right now, as I type this, I would be showing the lovely Tam and her equally lovely daughter, around the monuments on the Mall in DC, probably sunburnt and sweaty as hell, but still.

Instead, here I sit, typing this post. What happened, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

I left here in plenty of time to get to her hotel by 10:30-11:00. But after a half hour a driving pleasure...I hit traffic. Not a 'jam' where we were sitting still, but this was stop...go...stop...go...ad nauseum.

After an hour (!) of this, I turned the iPod off and the radio on, and heard the traffic report: 270 stop and go back to Germantown, 495 bumper to bumper and George Avenue still closed due to a building fire.

And what was my planned route? You guessed it, 270 to 495 to George Avenue. *SIGH*

I did have Mom's GPS with me, but I did really want to be running through backstreets in neighborhoods of DC that I didn't know. And plus, any side streets and alternative route would have been packed as well with drivers avoiding the backup.

PLUS, at one point in the traffic, my "check oil" light came on, but luckily went back off. And the temperature gauge went above the halfway point, which really freaked me out, but then went back below it. And Miss Cleo WAS overdue for an oil change.

So, reluctantly, I called Tam and told her all this. She asked if I could get to a subway stop. In the area I was in, I had no idea where the Metro stops were. There could have been one right off the road, or it could have been 10 or more block in any direction.

So, with much disappointment, I told her I was bailing on her. I was just gonna get off and go back. There was no problem with the traffic going the other way. She said she understood. On the way back, the distance that took me an hour to cover on the way down, I covered in 12 minutes on the way back. That's how bad it was.

I stopped in Frederick and went to the Barnes & Noble there, buying a few books. Then I met mom in Hagerstown and we ate Mexican at El Paso, and then drove to Sam's to get a few things. Not at all the day I had planned, not the day I was looking forward to for weeks. But I salvaged it as best I could I think.

I just hope Tam and Kristen found their way to the monuments they wanted to see on their own.

POLT Listening to "Whip It" by Devo

This is go gay, and I mean all three definitions. - Gwen, Eating Out

An utterance, information, don't mince words (Part 147)...

TMI Tuesdays

These come each week from http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. The three words that best describe you are ____, ____, and ____.
Heavy, Funny, Fun.
2. The three words that best describe your life are ____, ____, and ____.
Chaotic, Disparate, Fun.
3. Your three guilty pleasures are ____, ____, and ____.
Porn, Comic Books, Pepsi.
4. The three places you would like to visit before you die are ____, ____, and ____.
Berlin, San Francisco, Toronto (again).
5. The three things you would like to do before you die are ____, ____, and ____.
Publish a book, lose 50 pounds and a sexy redhead.
Bonus (as in optional):If you were making Chris Milk's video "Last Day Dream" (below) what three to five flashes would be your life so far? (I've posted the video below).
Not sure if this question means, which of the flashes in the video would be mine, or what flashes, unrelated to the video, would I have. I'm gonna go with the latter. In chronological order, they would be:

1) Walking across the stage to get my diploma and hearing more cheers than I expected to hear, from the students and the crowd.
2) Standing inside a gay bar for the first time, white knuckling the beer in my hand, overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, smells, but yet feeling as if I'd found home.
3) Holding our dog Kookee, after the vet gave her injection, and she slowly went to sleep and peacfully died.
4) Laying on the bed while Troy and Freddie kneel above my head, making out, all of us naked.
5) Sitting with my mom holding my dad's hands, crying as he died.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

POLT Listening to "More" by The Crystal Method

There's this creepy connection between leather sex, Star Trek, and the Renaissance Fair. - Margart Cho

And we got heavy traffic on the stairs...

So this evening Corey came over. He brought a movie he had rented. It was called "Heavy Traffic" and it's description reads as follows: An "underground" cartoonist contends with life in the inner city, where various unsavory characters serve as inspiration for his artwork. It was made in 1973, and was truly horrible. We watched roughly 40 minutes of it, and then spent the rest of the time in conversation.

We talked about political issues, and gay rights, and black rights, and reverse discrimination, and it was a very interesting conversation as most of those are with him.

We also talked a bit more about the comic-con in Baltimore in October. He told me that he and his girlfriend are working on a Deadpool costume for him. It's a comic book character, but all you really need to know is that it's being made out of lycra and spandex...so I'll be getting to see Corey in lycra and spandex! And he's been working out more, and I noticed it in his biceps tonight, so hopefully, there will be a lot of muscles and curves and bulges for the lycra and spandex to conform to when he wears it.

Also, Krissy, his girlfriend (grumble, grumble...man I wish I could make myself hate her!) called and while they were talking, I snapped a quick photo of him.


It's not terribly good, but he doesn't like his photo taken, so I had to snap it quick. I'm committed to getting a good shot of him soon!

Also, he's house sitting for his mom this weekend, and Krissy coming over and his other friend Josh (who's also gay [oh shut up]) will be there too and he invited me over, saying they might watch movies and get a case of beer and hang out. I said I'd be there...just in case he wants to model the Deadpool costume...or what little they have made of it anyway.

All in all, as it always is with Corey, a fun night.

POLT Listening to "Drop" by The Jesus And Mary Chain

Straight guys do not have visible abdominal muscles. You gotta suck cock to get the kind of development. - Margaret Cho

The squirrel gets crazy eyed and zippers back...

One thing I'll NOT miss when I move is how the squirrels around here are always spying on me. Think I'm delusional? HAH! I've got proof!




And let's not forget the things that happened HERE and HERE!

Ignore the wiliness of squirrels at your own peril.

POLT Listening to "Get Over It" by OK Go Oil: 68.21 (+.10); Gas: 2.42 (+.02)

Some people are determined to be idiots, immune to any evidence that conflicts with their jaundiced world view. - Johnny Warlock, Robin #137

You're wantin' my body, I don't mind (Part 209)..

Monday's Hot Shirtless Guy Photos

This week's theme: Hairy Chested Hot Shirtless Guy Photos!











POLT Listening to "Ave Maria" by Nana Mouskaura

Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and suck start her head! - Parker, The Way Of The Gun

At half past ten, phone up a friend...

Been busy on the phone today.

First, Dave S. called. We talked for about an hour. We talked about all things Torchwood, about my new house, about Tam, about his social life, about him making a trip to my new house, and related things.

Later, I got a text from Corey. It read, "I miss you. What you doing tomorrow?" Le Sigh. I called him back and we talked a bit, about going out to get something to eat tomorrow, about going to a comic book convention in Baltimore in October, about his girlfriend maybe going with us (......), about some of his other friends, about something funny that happened to him today. Then we hung up. But he's gonna call after work tomorrow so maybe we'll hang out and get something to eat or what have you.

Later still, Tam called. She's gonna be in DC this week, and Tuesday, I'm going down to meet her. The plan is to see the Capitol, Canadian Embassy, the White House, the monuments to Washington, Lincoln, FDR and Jefferson and the Memorials to WWII, Vietnam and Korea. Can't wait for that, ought to be a lot of fun!

Oh and before all these, I got a text from a fuckbuddy about a hookup today, but we couldn't get that coordinated.

I guess three outta four's not bad, eh?

POLT Listening to "Pretty Piece Of Flesh" by One Inch Punch

"Satchel, did you eat the remote?" "I borrowed it internally, yes." - Satchel, Get Fuzzy

Drive my mini-Cooper and I'm feeling super-dooper (Part 62)...

Superman Sundays

The economy's tough on everyone, even superheroes. To save money on costumes, Batman, Superman and Spiderman had to get rid of their cowls and capes and go to wearing just belly shirts.


Although, personally, with Spidey being so cute and all, I think he should consider just going out webslinging naked.

POLT Listening to "Another Brick In The Wall (Part 1)" by Pink Floyd

The reality is that a majority of Americans like, or at least don't mind, killing foreigners, provided the cost is not too high; they don't give a flip of the middle finger about the opinions of the rest of the world; they don't understand deficits and the dangers they pose; they prefer simplicity to complexity; and they would rather believe than think. - Charley Reese, Nov. 13, 2004

Let's get unconscious honey (Part 167)...

Unconscious Mutterings

These come from http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

I say ... and you think ... ?

Taxman :: The Beatles
Material :: Girl
Format :: Change
File cabinet :: Papers
Ignore :: Look Away
Super! :: Man!
Fireproof :: Asbestos
Blockbuster :: Movies
Snooper :: Gossip
Good will :: Clothes

POLT Listening to "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane

Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough. - Noah Cross, Chinatown

Part 282...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Mystify" by INXS Oil: 68.11 (-); Gas: 2.40 (+.01)

One of the hardest parts of my job is to console the family members who have lost their life. - George W. Bush

Part 281...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Magnet And Steel" by Walter Egan Oil: 68.11 (-); Gas: 2.39 (+.01)

Ohmigod - woke up with a snake tattoo, ohmigo - and I think that my tongue's pierced too. Ohmigod, ohmigod - it's the Sunday mornign after, and baby, who the hell are you? - Amanda Marshall

My baby's got a secret (Part 137)...

Secret Saturdays

These come each week from http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. And there's no theme this week, just more randomness.





POLT Listening to "Pride In The Name Of Love" by U2

Never confuse movement with action. - Ernest Hemingway

Get up and move it, to the music (Part 5)...

Motivation

POLT Listening to "Until The End Of The World" by U2

No offense, but you're a decrepit monkey skeleton. - Chief Wiggam, The Simpsons

Crazy for tryin' and crazy for cryin'...

Elian Gonzalez is taken by law enforcement to be returned to Cuba. Conservatives, Republicans, and the wingnuts go CRAZY over excessive government intrusion into our lives!

At Ruby Ridge, law enforcement go onto private property to serve warrants, are shot at and ultimately have to use weapon fire to get into the home to do their jobs. Conservatives, Republicans and the wingnuts go CRAZY over excessive government intrusion into our lives!

At Waco, law enforcement is shot at and hit when they try to arrest cult leader David Koresh, there's a standoff and ultimately they have to go in with tanks and it's burnt to the ground. Conservatives, Republicans and the wingnust go CRAZY over excessive government intrusion into our lives!

In Cambridge Massachusetts, police arrest a middle aged man, in his own home after he shows them ID and identifies himself as the owner of the home. The president is asked about this at a live news conference. He states that in arresting a middle aged man, in his own home after he shows them ID and identified himself as the owner of the home, is to him "acting stupidly". Conservative, Republicans and the wingnuts go CRAZY.....over the president's statement.

SO, from this, we can draw the conclusion that if law enforcement needs to break into your home to enforce a legal order over child custody, or a legal warrant dealing with arms trafficing violations or a legal arrest warrant of criminal charges, then according to conservatives, Republicans and the wingnuts, that's a gross violation of practically everything we hold holy. But it's perfectly acceptable, NOT stupid, and totally justified for the police to arrest you in your own home after you've IDed yourself.

I just have to wonder, what would Boss Limbaugh, Screeching Harpy Ingraham, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, or Micheal Steele's reaction be if the police tried to arrest them in their own homes after they IDed themselves as the home owner. I'm totally and completely convinced they would peacefully and quietly allow themselves to be arrested and taken away, and further, they wouldn't expect any conservatives, Republicans or wingnuts to say anything negative about it.

*SIGH*...more typical Republican hypocracy.

POLT Listening to "Love My Way" by the Psychedelic Furs

Man I aint changed, but I know I'm not the same. - The Wallflowers

Part 280...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "All These Things That I Have Done" by The Killers Oil: 68.11 (+1.33); Gas: 2.38 (-)

Most of the time when you stick your hand down a guy's pocket, you expect to find a wallet, not a cattle prod. - Byron, 9 Dead Gay Guys

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me (Part 195)...

Frenching Fridays

This week's theme: Hottub/Jacuzzi Kisses.





POLT Listening to "Topaz" by The B-52's

Lil Bow Wow is the only one that should be rapping. Everyone else is too old. - Mark Wahlberg

Been caught again, telling tales about your special friend...

Toying with the minds of young children used to be so much fun. Like previously Little Katie (aged 3) would ask me why she couldn’t take a picture with my camera, and I said the camera was tired from all the picture taking it had done already. And she was fine with that. Or Abby (age 5) would ask me how I knew it was going to rain, and I told her because I have a rain detector in the back of my head and when rain gets close it starts making this beeping noise. And she even tried to listen at the back of my head for the beeping.

BUT, not anymore, oh no!

Last night, Abby asked me if I had any kids. I told her I did. She asked how many, I told her I had 16. Normally, that would have been it. But last night I had to explain that there were boys and girls, and I didn’t know all their names because there was too many of them. I couldn’t bring them over the next time I stopped by because they didn’t live with me. They were in jail. They were in jail for taking off their clothes (which is something Katie was doing, so I was trying to make a moral out of the whole thing, but that only got her too involved in the questioning). And I didn’t know how long they were going to be in jail, and I didn’t know which jail they were at, although I did know they were not at the same jail. And I didn’t remember all their ages. And periodically throughout the night, just when I thought maybe she had forgotten all about it, she’d ask another question about them. And dammit, I KNOW she’s gonna remember this, so know everytime I go over there, I’m probably gonna get questions about my 16 kids. And I can’t admit the truth, cause that would destroy her trust in me for lying to her about so much.

Also, I had my phone out and Katie wanted to see it. I told her it wasn’t my phone. She asked what it was, I said my communicator. She asked what that was, and I told her I can flip it up and call for Scotty to beam me up. And I did just that. And she looked at me all innocent like and asked “Where’s Scotty?”

I could have stopped it right there. I should have stopped it right there. Oh, but know, I had to keep going on, cause it’s fun to screw with their impressionable little minds. Or it used to be.

Anyway, I told her Scotty was in orbit on the Starship Enterprise. When she looked at me all confused, I told her was up in the sky, in a ship. After a few more seconds, she asked how he got there. I told her he beamed up, with a communicator like mine. I could see she was going to ask more, so I thought I try to overload her with info and said, “See when he beams someone up he takes their bodies and turns them into little particles of energy which he then turns into a beam of energy and shoots it up to his ship in the sky where he reassembled the particles back into you.” A pause or two followed, when she said, “Oh, yeah.”

I thought they might be it, except Abby overheard and then I had to answer how he got down through the clouds. Knowing the technobabble explanation wasn’t working I said, “he comes down in a shuttle.” Confused look. “A space shuttle” I tried to clarify. More confused look, “A plane. A big plane.”

Abby nodded and then asked, “So do you know when you’re kids are going to get out of jail.”

I hope I’ve now learned my lesson...but I doubt it.

POLT Listening to "In Too Deep" by Sun 41

Making someone gay is exhausting. I don't know how my mother did it! - Jack, Will & Grace

Part 279...

Shirtlessness du jour

POLT Listening to "Doin It - Nathan's Theme" from Queer As Folk Soundtrack Oil: 66.78 (+1.58); Gas: 2.38 (-)

'Javelin Catcher', that has to be safer than this crap. - Nightwing #125

Undress me, will I look like a fool (Part 171)...

Once more it's time for...

Yeah, again this week I was a bit busy and didn't have time to do a normal HNT. However, earlier tonight, I was at a friend's birthday party, and my friend has a cute baby, and since we all know everyone loves a photo with a cute baby in it, I took this one.


It's me and Baby Jackie. And depsite the bluriness, you can still see how cute she is. And just by means of comparion, I took a photo with me and the just-recently-born Baby Jackie in May of last year, which you can see HERE.

To see what other people posted this week, click HERE

POLT Listening to "Hung Up" by Madonna

It's 106 miles to the dam, I have a pound of weed, two six packs of beer, it's broad daylight and we're wearing superhero costumes. Let's hit it! - Beaver, Freshmen #7